What I'd Rather Do

We all have those moments when we wish we could act on our hilarious impulses. But alas, the real world and "proper etiquette" tend to stand in the way. Feel free to submit your own: [email protected]

[whatidratherdo]

When your alarm is yelling at you.

[whatidratherdo]

One of the greatest tragedies in life is coming upon a person who needs to be liked, but the individual is completely unlikeable.

The Universe

[whatidratherdo]

Friday feeling.

[whatidratherdo]

Hey, will you be on call tonight?

[whatidratherdo]

When my spouse loads the dishwasher.

[whatidratherdo]

Repainting the house, “Guess what? White and Eggshell White are the exact same color.

[whatidratherdo]

Coworker comes in, "Gooooood Moooorning! Do we want the lights on in here?" It's Monday. You're loud and peppy. Please stop. And don't touch my fucking lights either.

[whatidratherdo]

My boss said, "Guys, I brung in my lunch!" English, motherfucker, do you speak it? How in the hell are you in charge of me?

[whatidratherdo]

When my boss dolls out this week's tasks. 

[whatidratherdo]

My boss likes to make up, what I call, “almost phrases.” This gem was heard during a two hour meeting today, "Despite our most galliant efforts."

[whatidratherdo]

I was gone for a minute now I'm back at the Jump Off. 

[whatidratherdo]

What constantly runs through my mind when speaking to my boss.

[whatidratherdo]

Overly priced shitty service for mediocre channel line-ups? Sign me up, Comcast!

Sidenote- if I was their social media person I'd be deep in a bottle of magic whiskey.

[whatidratherdo]

I'm getting married in 4 months.

[whatidratherdo]

Boss just scheduled a meeting for 4:30pm.

[whatidratherdo]

To all the bosses makin' noise. STEP OFF.

[whatidratherdo]

I just got roped into 3 different conference calls that allegedly overlap.