What My Professor Says

Things that my professors say in class, either funny or serious. Updated at noon EST daily while there are still quotes to be quoted.

[whatmyprofsays]

Student: The exam will be out of how many points? 100? 50?

Professor: What does it matter? It will be out of 70.3 points.

[whatmyprofsays]

Tomorrow's temperature could be anything from negative infinity to positive infinity, well we hope it's not positive infinity.

Modern Probability Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

Most gamblers have a finite bank balance.

Modern Probability Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

When you read a paper, it's not a mystery novel, they don't build up the suspense all the way to the end.

Networking Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

All bits are not equal.

Mobile Networking Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

You can't send a signal with infinite bandwidth because it's not really practical.

Networking Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

Don't be afraid to post on Piazza, if it's a good idea. If it's a bad idea...still post it.

Networking Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

For the project if you need any resources, I can buy them for you. Of course, if you say buy me a car, I can't do that.

Mobile Networks Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

Any comments, thoughts, concerns? Anyone want to leave now?

Professor after explaining the syllabus

[whatmyprofsays]

I want to dedicate this graph to my advisor, not only do I not have x or y axis labels, I don't even have data. I just have a dinosaur.

Keynote speaker, computer architecture conference

[whatmyprofsays]

If you're doing R&D, the R is whether or not it's possible. If you know already, it's development.

Electrical Engineering professor

[whatmyprofsays]

This sounds lame and boring...it's business.

Electrical Engineering Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

When you leave here, you're supposed to be as good, or better  than, your professor. Except for the MS students. They're smart, they get out and make money.

Electrical Engineering Professor

[whatmyprofsays]

Professor directing students to seats for final exam

Professor: I'm trying to seat everyone as far away from their seat in class as possible.

Student: Really?

Professor: No, I'm just exercising the only control I have in life.

[elphabacanfigureskate]

Things said at Physcon (by actual speakers):

I’m going to win my bet with Stephen Hawking.

Radio telescopes aren’t sexy anymore.

I have absolutely no idea what I’m gonna talk about.

That boson ain’t doing anybody any good.

Maxwell, interesting enough, wrote some equations.

Don’t wait 20 years to write stfff down.

We’re the scene of the crime how did it happen?

The very prestigious mathematical theory; the fudge factor.

Bubbles invented physics.

This source of all wisdom, Wikipedia.

He makes up stuff for a living.

What’s 16-9?

Instead of being outside you all chose to stay here and talk about superheroes. Nerds.

I don’t have a point I just think it’s cool.

That’s brilliant professor you invented the Blender.

Win 3 Nobel prized how? In a craps games?

‘What’s the deal with hulks pants anyway?’ Unstable molocules.

Ohh my physics sense is tingling

What you want to SEE the data?

What does a congress do? 'NOTHING’

Yucky humanities stuff

Laser spectroscopy badasses

[whatmyprofsays]

If this doesn’t make sense to you, don’t worry. It doesn’t.

(via whatmyprofsays)

[lostinengineering]

Don’t pay to go to grad school, that’s like paying $40,000 for someone to kick you in the nuts, or your gender’s equivalent gonads.

Patrick Rothfuss (via lostinengineering)