One of the benefits of subscribing to Runner's World is their food section. They offer a lot of different recipes that are extremely healthy. They are super anti any meat besides fish, so I often find myself altering their recipes to add some chicken or beef. My favorite recipe I have gotten from the magazine is their homemade pizza crust. It is super simple once you find all the ingredient you need. It is mildly time consuming but most of the time spent on it is simply waiting for the dough to rise. Here are all the ingredients you will need:
2 1/3 cups of flour (they recommend unbleached flour because you know how foodies are, but it really does not matter)
1/4 cup Wheat Germ (which you would think Trader Joe's has but no)
1/2 teaspoon instant yeast
1 cup room-temperature water
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (plus more for greasing the bowl)
In a big ass bowl combine the flour, wheat germ, instant yeast, and salt and mix it all up. In a separate, but just as badass bowl, whisk the olive oil, honey, and water. Those will all initially separate so whisk it to make it all consistent. It will be the color of mildly dehydrated pee.
After you have both of those mixed a legit amount, start adding the dry mixture to the wet mixture. Do not add it all at once because it will take way longer to mix. Start with about 1 1/2 cups of the dry mixture into the wet mixture. Stir that until it is smooth(about the consistency of mixed pancake batter) then slowly add the rest. At this point it is a little easier to stir it with your hands because the big plastic spoons will start to bend like the little bitches that they are. Wooden spoons will stir it well but your hands will get super messy anyway so why not get dirty early. Keep stirring until the mixture starts to peel away from the bowl. I know that sounds totally unspecific but you will see what I'm talking about when you do it for yourself. The mixture changes from a gooey liquid to a thicker, kind of coarse mass that feels a bit like Floam (90s kids know what I'm talking about). There will be some loose bits but they will come together once you start kneading the dough.
To knead, take a few pinches of just flour and spread it out over your tabletop, counter, toilet seat, or whatever flat surface you are working with. Knead the dough for roughly 8-10ish minutes. I had Pandora playing in the background so I kneaded through the entirety of One Directions Story of my Life and Nicki Minaj's Starships, which was not only manly and exciting, but also just about the appropriate amount of time. For those of you who have never kneaded anything before, it is pretty simple. All that you have to do it roll the dough around, stretch it out, push and pull it, smack it a few times, and show it who's boss. You will take it from the Floam consistency to a Silly Puddy consistency. Not only will you get a nice ball of dough, but you will also take a fun trip down memory lane. I included a photo of the ball of kneaded dough with Mount Gay for scale.
Once you have your ball, you will need to set it aside to rise in a dry, warm place. What my precious mother tipped me off to do, is to turn on the oven at a low, warm temperature. Grease a metal bowl(if you do not have a metal one plastic is also totally legit) with some olive oil. Use just enough to coat the entire bowl. This allows for the dough to rise without become kind of hard, but rather remaining delightfully soft. Throw the ball in the bowl and roll it around to grease her up like a pig at a fair. Cover the bowl with saran wrap, or a dish rag, and let her rise for about an hour to an hour and a half on top of the heated stove. You know it is done when it has just about doubled in size. I included a picture of the risen dough, separated into two balls. You could keep it as one ball but that will make a huge ass pizza that will not fit in your oven unless you happen to live in a Pizza Hut. If that is the case, I think there is a greater issue going on in your life that you need to address other than making too big of a pizza. After you separate it out, cover with a rag and let is sit at room temperature for about 30-40 minutes before cooking.
Personally, I like my pizza crust like I like my women; thin, crispy around the edges yet soft and delicate in the middle. In order to achieve that you have to search for years and deal with a lot of bimbos. For the pizza, however, all you need to do is take a standard cookie sheet and flip it up side down. Lightly grease the surface and roll that dough out. Runners World suggest investing in a pizza stone but fuck that, who cares. Cook at 475-500 until you get a light golden crust and the toppings look done (10ish minutes).
In regards to toppings, be creative. Every time I make my crust I use different toppings. Whatever you like is good on a pizza, however, there are a few simple rules to help make it delicious. It is possible to add too much sauce and toppings. When that happens, the crust will be cooked but will be a bit soggy. Nobody likes that. I am not big on the sauce so I use it sparingly. I love using Alfredo sauce because it is creamier, therefore you do not have to use very much. Also, for soft veggies like spinach, place them directly on the sauce before adding the cheese. That will prevent them from burning. Then add the cheese, heavier veggies, and protein options. Try and keep about 1 inch of dough around the edges. Also, do not be afraid to make the pizza a weird shape. That is part of the fun. For the two pizzas I made (one of which I forgot to photograph), I used vodka cause, mozzarella, spinach, sautéed green peppers, and pepperoni arranged to spell ASS. It is important to constantly keep yourself entertained while cooking and if spelling profanities in your food does the trick, go crazy. For the other pizza I used Alfredo, spinach, sautéed mushrooms, mozzarella and blue cheese, and pulled chicken which I cooked while the dough was wrapped in the hand towel.
While the prep and waiting time is awhile, the actual cooking time for the pizza is pretty short. Everyone loves pizza and if you say you do not you are lying and I hate you. It is a lot of fun taking a normal dish and making it both healthier and fancier. Learning how to make certain food items will not only increase the possibilities of what you can do in the kitchen, but it will also impress the ladies...or in my case my roommate.
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