as a former RA, who has seen way too much of this shit, it is important to highlight that most of these assaults will not be someone grabbing you from behind a bush or something - a lot of the weapons used against you will be social convention and alcohol/drugs.
it will be at parties. surrounded by people, where you lose sight of a friend and you’re surrounded. it will be guys “making sure to bring you home” while you’re drunk. it’ll be “come on over and let’s watch a movie”, it’ll be so many insidious things.
please always push back from any pressure or challenge to your boundaries. GET LOUD. your physical and mental health is SO much more important than how “cool” you seem. make a fuss, and it might make things awkward, but it’ll be so much better than the alternative. i’ve had so many of my residents come back for the night, so regretful about staying silent while a guy felt her up because she didn’t want to rock the boat or “ruin the mood” of the party. DO IT.
keep a friend, a trusted friend, preferably a girl, and use the goddamn buddy system. do not let your buddy out of sight. keep together at all times, and not just at parties - even at casual outings. new roommate? talk to them about how you want to stick together and make sure nothing happens.
do not go anywhere alone for the first month (this is also just a good practice to meet new people and find new friends lol). go to campus-run events, which are usually more tame and supervised (and still fun!).
know the red flags, and always be cautious of going alone with any man - ESPECIALLY if they’re older. that includes going to parties, movies, even out to lunch.
i don’t want to scare people at all, i really want you to be safe. know that there are campus resources if things do happen, but when it comes down to it, CALL THE POLICE. campus police and counselors can help you deal with trauma and change your classes so you’re away from your assailant, but they’re ultimately working for the university that doesn’t want to report assaults. grab a friend to stay with you to support you - hell, if you live in a residence hall, most RAs have been trained with crisis counseling and will stick with you to the end, and CALL THE POLICE.
pepper spray is a good start, but half the battle is knowing the warning signs and sticking together, and never being afraid to fight back.
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