Comedy fucking gold Iâm sorry
Somebody tell Hollywood I've found proof that a plot twist can be predictable and yet still amazing.

JVL
Today's Document
styofa doing anything
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
noise dept.
DEAR READER
đȘŒ
Stranger Things
almost home
KIROKAZE
$LAYYYTER
AnasAbdin
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blake kathryn

@theartofmadeline
Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
d e v o n
Mike Driver
Keni
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@arctic-chameleonus
Comedy fucking gold Iâm sorry
Somebody tell Hollywood I've found proof that a plot twist can be predictable and yet still amazing.
not to be sappy on main BUT one thing that i really loved when studying linguistics was that the more important a word is, the earlier the concept of this thing was given a word. for example, the word water is similar in many similar languages (aqua, agua, ĂĄgua). so, the more important a word is, the more languages itâll be similar across and the older this word will be, theoretically and generally speaking (many other things also affect this)
AND SO in my years studying linguistics, there was one word that was nearly identical across so many regionally different languages (though there are outliers of course), from europe to most of asia to subsaharan africa to indigenous languages. across nearly all languages this is the first word people learn how to say and maybe the first word humans in general officially named and defined:
mamĂŁe - portugueseÂ
ćŠćŠ (mÄmÄ) - chinese
àšźà©°àšźà© (mamÄ«) - punjabi
mamah - mayan (yucatec)
ĐŒĐ°ĐŒĐ° - bulgarian, russian, ukrainian
Ù Ű§Úș (mĂ€m) - urdu
àŠźàŠŸ (mÄ) - bengali
máșč (may) - vietnamese
ăă (mama) - japanese
à° à°źà±à°ź (am'ma) - telugu
mama - quechua
àȘźàȘźà«àȘźà« (mam'mÄ«) - gujarati
àŽ àŽźà”àŽź (am'ma) - malayalam
amĂĄ - navajo
ìë§ (omma) - korean
eme - native hawaiian
onam - uzbek
aana - yupik
mema - tagish
ÎŒÎ±ÎŒÎŹ (mamĂĄ) - greek
mama - swahili
ŰŁÙ Ù (umi) - arabic
mayi - chichewa
à€źà€Ÿà€ (ma) - hindi
mam - dutch
ááá¶áá (ma) - khmer
àčàžĄàč (mĂŠÌ) - thai
àź àźźàŻàźźàźŸ (am'mÄ) - tamil
à¶ à¶žà·à¶žà· (ammÄ) - sinhala
amai - zulu
ama - basque
à€à€źà€Ÿ (ÄmÄ) - nepali
áĄáá± (amay) - myanmar (burmese)
mamĂĄ - spanish
mom/mum- english
this isnât actually the first word because we teach babies this word (most likely), but because the âmamaâ or âamaâ sounds are the easiest things for babies to say, and itâs nearly always the only thing they can say at first, and adults across all languages defined their language around that.
babies all over the world for thousands and thousands of years all started out blabbering sounds like âmamaâ and mothers everywhere were all like Oh Shit Thatâs Me! Iâm Mama!
fashion looks that make all gay ppl nut:
high waisted + crop top concept where that bit of skin above the belly but below the chest shows? u know that Rib Flab? m fuckign gay
in a similar vein u know the mom jeans over fishnets look really does get me pregnant every damn time
backwards baseball cap with the curls peaking out
longe sweater over short skirt thanks
hawaiian shirts worn in any way
berets over short hair? mmmmm delicious
that soft 80s sweater and mom jeans with the black belt fashion INVENTION that looks like something dj tanner in full house would wear? mood
Baggy Sweater With The Sleeves Pushed To The Elbow a la robert sean leonard in this video
the âim wearing my significant otherâs jacket or hoodie and it is significantly Too Largeâ statement
turtlenecks under baseball shirts U Know What I Mean
GOLFING OUTFITS u know u had a thing for chad danforth in his golfing outfit donât lie to my face
bowtie + suspenders combo we all know weâve all talked about it we act like itâs in the past but i know⊠i know the truth im onto all of u
mesh under short sleeved shirts
all black outfits with just a pop of colour
baggy graphic tâs from the 80âs and 90âs that have weird art proportions and colours tucked into cuffed mom jeans with a thin black belt and docs
tight skinny jeans, fitted tee, oversized coat
vests. just like,, all vests are gay
tie dye shirts, light wash jeans, and a jean jacket
letâs just face it, combat boots have always been gay
a suit with a floral tie
i could go on forever,, clothes make me so gay
okay speaking of cuffed jeans the cuffed jeans and tall novelty socks underneath look
also cuffed trousers + no socks + fancy shoes (in the style of chris pine, a fashion icon, before us)
double denim in the form of jean jacket + pants
WHITE OVERALLS over literally anything
bomber jacket and bralette, no shirt
Please do not forget the classic flannel tied around your hips. A look. A mood. A gay thing.
Iâve been trying to figure out whether yall talking about gay men or gay women because I always think of the fashions of the two as very different but shit this could really go either or both ways
Queer fashion is like âshit my parents would have worn but sexy, and Iâm not gonna think about it.â
God okay so Iâm going to say this now; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not risk your health or anyoneâs in the form of getting a âcheapâ binder of ebay or where ever. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE save your $4-$10 dollars for those cheap ebay ones and put it towards a gc2b binder. Or if you want an Underworks go for that but I highly suggest gc2b. Theyâre about $40 (with shipping) and will last you WAY longer than any cheap ebay one. They are MEANT for lasting you. I wash mine many times week, wear it daily, Wear them daily. I have two. Had them for almost a year now. But I cannot urge you enough to PLEASE save up your pennies for a PROPER SAFE binder. Binders you can breathe in, binders you can move in, binders that donât crush your ribs, binders that are comfortable, binders that are safe.
This isnât a safe binder:
It uses clasps and not compression.
This is a c2b binder; made by trans people for trans people:
These binders have no clasps but uses spandex to compress you safety.Â
Measure your chest before ordering to make sure you donât get one too small or too large.
UPDATE (06/12)
I wanted to add more information on where you can buy binders and info in general about binders
You can buy binders from these sites
@gc2b-apparelâ (OPs #1 Recommendation)
@shapeshiftersincâ
http://www.f2mbinders.com/ (AKA underworks)
http://www.t-kingdom.com/
http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en
http://www.danae.info/en/?___from_store=nl
http://showcase.designveronique.com/designveronique/shop/postsurgical/men-1.html
http://en.nabeshirt.com/shop/
Used Binders
If you canât afford a binder, donât despair! Used binders are often passed on by post-op trans men or those whose binders may no longer fit. There are a few programs available that help distribute donated second-hand binders:
In A Bind â Started in 2012, to date In a Bind has provided safe compression garments to over 1500 youth in need. Trans* masculine and genderqueer youth living anywhere in the USA can apply to receive a free binder. In a Bind depends on donations. Recently had top surgery? Go up or down a size? Find a style that works better for you? Donate those binders youâre no longer using!
Black Trans Advocacy FTM Binder Grant
MORF Binder Exchange â Since February 2011, MORF has been providing free binders to trans* masculine people in the UK and around the world. The free scheme (all you pay is the postage) has so far redistributed hundreds of binders. In 2014 alone, over 280 binders were sent out.
FTME Free Youth Binder Program â Age 24 and under only; USA only.
Replace the Ace â USA only
Big Brothers Used Binder Program â Donation required
Mazzoni Centerâs Binder Recycling Program â Only for youth enrolled in P.A.C.T.S., Philadelphia.
Point 5cc Tshirt Company â Free binder with purchase of t-shirt
Come As You Areâs Binder Bucks Recycling Program â Canada only
Qmunity Binder Exchange â BC, Canada only.
Trans Fellas
Northern Ireland Binder Scheme â Â Age 25 and under, N. Ireland only.
You can also try asking around for an inexpensive hand-me-down binder on one of themailing lists for trans guys or check out LiveJournalâs FTM Garage Sale and the FtM Sales, Swap, and Support group on Facebook.
How to Choose a Chest Binder
If you still remember your old bra size, you can find out your binder size by using theBra to Chest Size Converter Tool. If you donât know your old bra size, you can measure yourself the old-fashioned way:
Take a snug measurement of the fullest part of your chest using a tape measure (best if measured while clothed) and write that number down onto a sheet of paper.
Measure underneath your chest where the crease is and write that number down as well.
Add those numbers together and divide the sum by 2. This number will differentiate your size not only from brand to brand but from binder to binder as well.
Selecting a binder brand and style can be difficult: there are so many options that it can be overwhelming! Plus, there arenât very many reviews of binders other than those about Underworksâ and T-Kingdomâs more popular models. After buying your binder, help make the experience easier for guys in the future by contributing your review to one of the review sites listed below.
Essentially, there are two types of binders: short ones and long ones. The short ones end right at your waist. The down side of these is that if you carry some extra weight, short binders tend to roll up and act more like a bra. The long ones can be pulled down past your waist by several inches, however itâs inevitable that it will still roll up. To reduce the chances of this, wear a belt. Choosing between a short and long binder has more to do with your body type, specifically your abdomen, and not your chest size.
Lastly, consider the location of the company youâre buying from. Buying from a company thatâs closer to you can save you a significant amount of money on shipping costs.
How to Put On a Chest Binder
It might seem silly, but youâre probably going to need some help figuring out how to put on your new binder, particularly if you purchased one of the longer styles.
Put your binder inside out and upside down.
Step into your binder and pull the bottom of it up, ideally to your belt line. The binder should still be inside out and upside down.
Use the sleeves as handles to pull the top of the binder (the end closer to your feet) up to your shoulders.
Put your arms through the sleeve holes and adjust your chest to your needs. You may need to pull the bottom of the binder out from underneath itself if you donât want it folded under. For others, leaving it folded under may help stop the binder from rolling up.
Donât be disappointed if you look in the mirror and it looks like you have one big boob in the middle of your chest. You just need to adjust your chest. Reach in from the neck hole and push your chesticles down and out. Youâre basically pushing your nipple toward your armpit to achieve the flattest looking chest possible.
FTM Chest Binding Tips
Very important: When binding, you should not by any means feel as though you canât breathe or like youâre going to pass out from a lack of oxygen.
Binders arenât the most comfortable things in the world. To make binding more comfortable, and to reduce the possibility of the binder moving around a bit, some guys wear a light shirt underneath.
Depending on the size of your chest, you may need to layer clothing on top of the binder to get optimal chest flattening. Youâll find that some of the shirts in your closet require you to layer more than shirts in your wardrobe.
You can swim in your binder. Just wear a sleeveless or sleeved T-shirt over it. Donât worry if your binder seems less effective after a swim, this isnât permanent. Simply wash it and it will go back to normal.
Your chest will look bigger than it really is when you look down at it. Check in the mirror for a more accurate side view.
Not all binders breathe well, and the reality is that youâre probably going to get hot. If youâve already started testosterone, youâre definitely going to sweat. The build up of sweat can irritate your skin causing rashes and sores. Wearing a thin cotton shirt that breathes well underneath your binder may help prevent this. If you find this uncomfortable, try applying corn starch to your body before putting on your binder to help keep it from holding in moisture. If youâve already experienced skin irritation of some sort, take care of it the same way you would an open wound. Washing the irritated area with anti-bacterial soap will keep it clean and help it heal faster.
Conclusion
Chest binding, as cumbersome as it may seem, can be very freeing for transgender men. Thereâs a plethora of quality FTM chest binding products available for body types of all shapes and sizes. Regardless of what you use for binding, please remember to put your health first. Now that youâre armed with all the information you need to find the right binder for you, go forth and feel more comfortable in your skin!
FTM Chest Binder Reviews
Chest Binder Reviews Site: Written reviews of various chest binding products. Binders are rated for effectiveness, comfort, and discreetness.
Binder Reviewsâ YouTube Collab Channel: This is a collab channel dedicated to providing reviews of a wide variety of chest binders on different sizes and shapes of people.
(Note: These sites are no longer updated.)
More FTM Chest Binding Resources
Binding Safely for Your Body: Tips for All Body Types and Sizes
The 6 Best Tips for Binding in the Summer
Hudsonâs Guide to FTM Binding: Includes a complete list of other products you can use for chest binding, such as compression garments and sports bras.
FYI Binding Tips: The Butchelor has some useful tips on how to put on a binder, how to keep it from rolling up, and how to wash a binder.
Do you have any tips about binding? Want to share your experience with a particular binder brand or model? Do you know of other binder manufacturers, particularly those outside of Asia and the US? Please leave your comments below.
Last updated: 05/20/16 (x)
This isnât a userbox but I wanted to reblog this here for all of our followers who bind!! Stay Safe lovelies and just a reminder not to use Ace bandages!!! - Daniel
BLESS THE PERSON THAT PULLED ALL OF THIS TOGETHER!!
Cyborg catgirl.
*In a deep robotic voice* : NYAH
THIS IS ACTUALLY FACTUAL AND NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED MORE
http://www.usms.org/articles/articledisplay.php?aid=294
âKnowing that they were losing âvaluable productâ due to their slavesâ propensity to swim, slave owners began taking drastic steps to protect their property. One of these steps was to instill a fear of the water by dunking disobedient slaves in water until they nearly drowned and by creating fear through stories of creatures living in the water. Thus it didnât take long to excise or destroy the West African swimming tradition from African- American culture. The Jim Crow laws that were enacted after The Civil War prohibited blacks from the popular seaside resorts in places like Atlantic City, N.J. and Revere Beach, Mass. And by the 20th Century, as the swimming pool began to gain in popularity in the United States, the color line prohibited blacks from enjoying this pleasant recreational skill.
In addition, self-segregation also played a role in limiting those of African ancestry from getting in the water. I remember my Aunt saying to stay away from the pool because, âblack folk donât swim.ââ
Such a long and consistent history of anti-Blackness and swimming. Long before police openly assaulted little black girls in McKinney, GoodWhitePeopleâą were enforcing White Supremacy and segregating swimming pools.
Motel manager, James âJimmyâ Brock, pouring acid into a swimming pool to drive black people away from a âSwim Inâ protest, in St. Augustine, Florida on June 18, 1964.
Next time you hear someone ask questions like, âWhy donât black people swim?â Or âWhy are so many black people afraid of dogs?â And, âWhy are there do so many black people live in poverty?ââŠ..let âem know that those arenât coincidences. These things didnât just happen naturally, all on their own. Thereâs a reason for it, and you donât have to be an historian to know theyâre all interconnected through slavery, endemic racism and persistently racist cultural norms.
always reblogâŠ
As a white guy I never understood the âBlack people canât swimâ stereotype, Iâm glad that this post is here to educate others like myself of the inherent racism involved in it. I had no idea about this before
memeception
WEâVE HIT TERMINAL MEME
@caesarianconfection
Iâve said âI hate thisâ so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because âI hate thisâ is just shorthand for âthis is an example of a meme given a twist I wasnât expecting with intent to surpriseâ. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this⊠This is something else.
The rapidity of a memeâs introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, youâll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. Itâll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeareâs jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?
âŠ.I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE
it is a YMCA reference - thatâs one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (âtake the breadsticks and runâ) is a reference to the tumblr meme âstuffing breadsticks into my purseâ. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. thatâs meme two (2)
âman door hand hook car doorâ is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic âstuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill usâ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
âgunâ is⊠yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to âman door hand hook car doorâ for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think iâve ever seen. the initial âyoung manâ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme âgunâ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)
I wasnât going to reblog this, but @pagesofkennaâs comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.
average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted
it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpgâs format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000âs rage comics
I was getting a political compass vibe too
tag urself im man door hand hook car gun
This works better than I thought it would.
This was in my senior project
Iâm not sorry.
EIGHT MEME COMBO
FATALITY
We have officially created a new languageÂ
I just had to do it to em
THIS FUCKING THREAD IâM GONNA CRY
I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDNâT EXPECT MORE IâM SOBBING
M E M E T E N
W o w
You know I had to
I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it
THIRTEEN!?
SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING âthis one does not spark joyâ TO THIS VERSION SAYING âthis one sparks joyâ
well i added my contribution : )
whyâ
IM SCREAMING
This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.
âYouâre in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?â âOh yeah, sure.â âCan you explain it to me?â âI absolutely fucking cannot.â
One does not simply explain this
Edit:
Another freaking layer!!!
16 motherfucking layers
In the future someoneâs going to ask me to explain this and Iâm going to be at a loss.jpg for words
Christ, last time i saw this it was at ten
Wow I miss Tumblr!
That kid with strict parents walk that you learn to do where you rock your feet as you walk so your feet donât make noise on hardwood floors
Okay so apparently this is a known and frequently used stealth walk known as a Fox Walk where you roll from heel to toe in a straight line to be as quiet as possible and it makes me sad that so many kids just learned on their own how to do that out of necessity considering itâs otherwise only taught to like... military personnel and people who have to sneak up on wild animals for research purposes and the like
 âhi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?â
âyeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?â
âabsolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?â
âuuuuuh hold onâ
*fishes something out of my pocket*
âmikey what do i do?â
âget the fries. youll need the energy in the coming daysâ
*stuffs it back in my pocket*
âuhh yes please  the meal would be greatâ
What Was The Image
thats between me and the holy fucking ghost
What the fuck is up with this post lmao
Iâm looking at some of the other reblogs and the image is visible
schrodingerâs post
I think this is the first ever visual evidence of the Schrödinger effect.
I swear Tumblr is either haunted or it is above science.
They both appeared in my feed CONSECUTIVELY I donât know how, but they did
Oh god Iâve never laughed so hard in years. Oh, how would I ever get this kind of content from any other site? What other social media site is this broken?
this is the funniest thing ive ever seen
The notes on this post and her siblings have something in common
Sailors: Mercury/Venus/Jupiter | Military by Carol Azevedo
(Part 2 of 18th century military style sailors)
(Part 1)
hashtag animashun
lol turn on the sound
im so glad this is back in my dash
the smears, yall. these r sum good ass smears
op is literally god
@funniesthomevideosuggestions
Ah itâs so nice when this shows up on my dash
âwhy does that character have to be queer?â
why not?
âwhy does that character have to be trans?â
why not?
âwhy does that character have to be a poc?â
why not?
this post is making straight cis white ppl angry keep reblogging it
Another good response along with âWhy not?â - âAs opposed to?â
Just watch them try not to say ânormalâ, JUST WATCH THEM.
White folks ainât going to reblog this. They want their version of MK Jr. that only said âI have a dreamâ.Â
What the absolutely fuckery
Since May 2016 Iâve created well over 200 monsters, NPCâS, weather, hazards, traps, and items to add to Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition adventures and campaigns. Here is a list of FREE available material so far. Use the links below to download them from google drive. New content always available first on my Facebook group page. https://www.facebook.com/groups/dmweber/ Jungle Encounters https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzlzB4FzIyPQemxpMW9ZTDg2VzQ/view?usp=sharingÂ
Arctic Encounters https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzlzB4FzIyPQMDF6UE45TTZSakU/view?usp=sharingÂ
Desert Encounters https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzlzB4FzIyPQTWtEb2wza2Q1S28/view?usp=sharingÂ
Holiday Encounters https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzlzB4FzIyPQd1lsdUhZaXF5blU/view?usp=sharingÂ
Jurassic Encounters https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzlzB4FzIyPQRGZRcXdqalBhc3M/view?usp=sharing
Whatâs in the PDF
Jungle Encounters has over 50 monsters, NPCâs, new races, weather patterns, and traps. Arctic Encounters has over 40 monsters, NPCâS, new races and weather patterns Desert Encounters has over 50 monsters, NPCâS, weather Patterns, Encounter ideas, new races and items. Holiday Encounters has over 30 Monsters, new races, and items. Jurassic Encounters has over 30 Monsters, and items.
These are amazing, honestly. The first time I used one of these was the Desert Encounters and my players fucking loved it. I made them encounter a Blank on their way to a city, they fought over who could take care of it for days but eventually forgot to bring him with them to the next cityâŠ
The amount of content within these is actually insane. I held off on reblogging this for a little while to check through it, and man am I impressed by how much there is to work with
John Mulaney for Esquire, 2019
Aight cool someone finally said it