dream log

a diary of something wrong

[when-autumn-leaves]

i was hanging out with N after a show. he was really friendly and it was super chill and relaxing. he invited me to go play golf with him the next day

i had to tell C i wasn't coming into work because i needed to spend time with N. i do only see him one a year ave he's like top priority for me.

[when-autumn-leaves]

i was younger, AG was my uncle. he was really supportive of my interest in art and bought a drawing from me and gave me $200 for it

[when-autumn-leaves]

my dad was going through my room, looking for something. I was terrified he'd accidentally find my housing paperwork and was having a huge breakdown about it. screaming and crying trying to get him to leave i tried talking to him about it later but he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. he thinks it's perfectly fine for parents to go through their kids' stuff to check on them. i tried to explain how that's an invasion of privacy and cause kids to have trust issues but he wouldn't listen

[when-autumn-leaves]

i was working in a small apartment. both M and M were there, as i was leaving they told me to leave the gas stove burning so the pipes wouldn't freeze at night. this worried me bite i let it go. I stopped by the next morning and it was fine. but later in the day the apartment burned down and there was an explosion because of the gas line. the landlord was pissed. I remember walking aroubd the parking lot of the apartment complex to see the damage

i was joining N and R on tour, we were hanging out in a hotel room. N and R were on the bed (flirting with each other) and i was sitting on the floor.

Eventually N turned his attention to me and we talked. Slowly more physical contact entered the conversation, lots of hand touching. I was humming one of his songs and he started singing along in a soft, high pitched voice. It was the sweetest thing. I love him

[when-autumn-leaves]

hogwarts had nonbinary dorm rooms. the only way to get into the nb rooms is that if you felt like you belonged there, you would appear. there weren't doors so idk how you'd get out. and being nonbinary was decided as part of the storing hat ritual. like you'd get sorted and suddenly poof to the dorms if you were nb I was looking for a bra to see if i could pass for female to get into the girls dorm for some reason

[when-autumn-leaves]

my cousin M was with her boyfriend, hanging out in some woods. a human-like monster was approaching them, her boyfriend told her to run out of the woods while he ran towards the monster. a search party was formed after my cousin got safely out but her bf was never found

at the opposite end of the same woods a woman tied up her three very young daughters and left them at an abandoned farm house. it's assumed this is where the monster lives, their mom left them there to be killed. They manage to escape being tied up and wander around the forest looking for civilization. they come upon a cliff that is above some houses. they climb across roofs, the youngest falls and is caught by a man in his back yard. he's delighted to have a baby girl, the two other sisters think she's safe but i get an uneasy feeling.

inside, the man starts filling her mouth with tubes and force feeding her strange liquids. there's another bloated baby in the house already, i don't think it survived the experiments. whatever the man was trying to do, it works with this girl. Her name is Kelsie, she begins speaking coherently, with long complicated sentences. she grows up with this man as her family. she ages slower than normal, will probably live longer. she's still very intelligent

she goes to visit this man she thinks of as her father, he looks very old. She looks barely a teenager. she had a happy life despite the weird science experiment and she's rather successful in life she does run into one of her siblings at some point. I can't remember how or when. possibly school or some group therapy thing I believe all three of then survived, but i don't know details of what happened.

the one Kelsie ran into i think was found and put into foster care the third one, I'm not sure. I think she grew up to become an artist, and had a lot of problems with acting out

[when-autumn-leaves]

woke up to him spooning me, we must have fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. does he realize who i am? did we start cuddling after we fell asleep, unconsciously? god it feels nice though, he's holding my hand, pulling me in closer. the tv turns on, i think by him with a remote so he must be conscious and aware it's me

later after getting up i see tiny fat minks running up the stairs. i get to my room and find they're infesting the house, living in my clothes piles

[when-autumn-leaves]

too much ice cream? why we have two freezers in the garage?? it's melting. i owe some old guy with a camera money for some reason??

[when-autumn-leaves]

masturbating hard, to the point of drawing blood. i felt nothing, no arousal, no pain. only when i finished did i notice someone else was in my room. how long had he been there? i was under blankets, i was quiet, did he know what i was doing? he never said anything if he did, if only to save me from embarrassment

we continued on like everything was normal, like nothing weird happened. i watched him play video games, we cuddled, it was nice there were big trees in the yard. it was winter, so i could only see dead branches. one of the trees looked like a joshua tree

[when-autumn-leaves]

i was at some sort of convention, wandering around. found a few plushies i like, i think they were pokemon? then got bored and volunteered to help set up for a show some comedian was doing. I left without paying

a girl who wasn't me (though i was her) lived in a big, decrepit house with her mom. mom baked cookies similar to my salted caramel chocolate chip cookies but she added macadamia nuts for some reason. it was halloween and the girl was handing the cookies out to children from the window in the basement bathroom

the house used to be a bakery, but the bakery owner changed to a new location, still in the neighborhood. She left a big sign in the window. we didn't want any confusion that the cookies were coming from the bakery so i took the sign down and brought it to the new bakery location. the place looked like a gift shop

at some point the girl also went trick or treating, all she got were red suckers. she pushed around a tiny shopping cart instead of having a bag to collect candy in. she also forgot to wear a costume but didn't want to go all the way home to change

[when-autumn-leaves]

J and d's wedding rings were on display in a china cabinet

[when-autumn-leaves]

the three of us were in the living room sitting on a couch watching netflix, J went down stairs to go to bed. d was too tired to get up so he stayed on the couch with me. i tried turning off the television, but whenever pressed the power button it would show a loading screen then start playing infomercials

[when-autumn-leaves]

i got my old job back, modeling

[when-autumn-leaves]

a young boy is sitting alone in a booth at a restaurant. he's depressed, overwhelmingly so. he's frustrated because nothing is going wrong in his life and he doesn't understand why he feels this way. it makes him more upset because he feels like he doesn't have a reason to be sad

his neurotransmitters are out of balance, that's the only reason he's depressed. it's enough

[when-autumn-leaves]

she was driving me to work, i was fretting how i would get back home because she was just dropping me off and i didn’t have a car to get back

i never made it to work, we stopped at a tattoo parlor instead. she disappeared somewhere, i didn’t see her again. there were puppies in the waiting room, someone offered to give me a haircut. I accepted the offer

i wandered around looking for for the guy then decided i needed to find a bathroom instead and discovered the tattoo parlor was attached to a mental hospital. patients were milling about, the bathrooms were too open for me to be comfortable using them

[when-autumn-leaves]

water

[when-autumn-leaves]

the basement of my dad's house flooded. i went upstairs to ask hermione for help and frantically tried to text my dad about the water. one of my teeth fell out and a couple were already missing