When Do We Start?

Side blog for @trulydesperate. This started as a place to share fanfics, now it is my all encompassing media log with reviews.

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Hey hey hey! For 2026 one of my goals is to get better at formulating and expressing my opinions. I am autistic which means I also love to log and categorise and order. This blog will be just that. If it is media and I comsume it, I will probably post about it. This is a new skill for me, so please be nice! 🥰

Where else can you find me?

Serialized & Letterboxd - whendowestart

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Today is my favourite Dracula Daily entry and I have a lot of thoughts that are probably obvious to more established readers but I'm vibrating and need to violently throw them up onto the internet.

"I know now the span of my life. God help me!"

Poor Jonathan. All he wanted was to do well on his first ever job as a qualified solicitor and make his devoted wife proud, and instead he gets this.

Making someone write post-dated letters is the ultimate in psychological torment. Forced into giving up your control. You are lost. Nobody is going to come looking for you until it is far too late because they got a letter saying you were okay and heading home. If and when they do, it's already too late but they won't even be looking in the right place because you told them you were at Bistritz. Knowing this far in advance, when, where and how you will die. That's something I think Dracula Daily really helps with. June 29th seems so far away, it's over a month. But if it is the day you will die, or be dead by in any case, suddenly it's alarmingly close. Knowing you are only still alive now because you still serve a purpose.

That is something else Dracula does brilliantly, it is pure psychological torment. Distruction of the mind. Dracula has not laid a finger on Jonathan. I don't think he has even threatened to. He doesn't have to. He has even actively protected Jonathan, if only because he does still have purpose. That makes him even more frightening because technically he has done nothing to him. There is evidence everywhere that he is a monster, but he has not done anything against Jonathan. So how is he to know if it's real or just his mind playing tricks? Men don't lizard walk, you're just losing your mind.

Being a prisoner and yet being free. He isn't confined. Many doors are locked, sure, but he can walk freely around the open rooms. Read what he would like to read. Which again makes it harder mentally because there's no cell, no chains, no definite imprisonment. Freedom and confinement all in one.

Again to today's entry. The Count knows Jonathan knows. Jonathan knows the Count knows he knows. It's all very much of a forever mix of I know that he knows that....and Dracula still hasn't done anything. The torment is better when you bide your time.

This just scratches so many itches for me and makes me feel so many things and vibrate endlessly as you can see from this. K thanks bye. Godspeed Jonathan.

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The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026)

I saw this movie on Sunday so I've been sitting on this for a while as I have quite a lot of thoughts. Some of them well thought out, others less so.

Overall, and despite what I am going to say, this is a kids film and it delivers on that. Do I think kids deserve good, fully thought out media? Yes. But it's not always that serious. Overall this is a fun kids movie that delivers on references and is a nice afternoon if you don't think too hard. I saw this with my sister for her birthday and so the overall narrative of someone doing whatever it takes for their sister did hit for me.

Do I think they should have been made sisters? No, I don't. I can see why they did it but it seems weird to me that a film trying to capitalise on video games and fill it full of various references would ignore existing canon to this degree. Rosalina and Peach already had very good existing backstories and this just adds needless confusion.

My friend went into this in better detail than I can but the treatment of Rosalina in this film kind of rubbed me the wrong way. It continues a trend of women who are shown as badass and capable, right up until they are kidnapped. Then all of a sudden they are totally powerless need rescuing. Okay, she was rescued by a woman sure but needing to be rescued at all contrasts sharply with how she is shown at the start.

Now, I am a big Bowser fan. Bowser and the first Mario film are important to me so I was excited and hopeful to see where things went. Was it cool when he came back out of the lava as Dry Bowser? Yes. Did it make me sad? Also yes. Am I confused af as to how they intend to continue him as just a skull? Yes. This is actually a trend for me, I become attached to characters and it's like a death toll for them. Semi relatedly I would die for the Lumas. Literally any of them. But especially the existential one.

Some of the editing of the movie also felt off to me. It was very jumpy in parts and didn't flow neatly, it felt like we were bouncing around with no rhyme or reason.

But again, criticisms aside this was a fun enough way to spend a couple of hours.

Edit: oh! And the vore! So much vore. Please stop voring people Yoshi.

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Labyrinth (1986)

Where has this film been all my life? This is a fantastic film that made me feel nostalgic despite never having seen it before. Camp, Jim Henson puppets and David Bowie. What more do you need?

The practical effects in this film were incredible. I wish more films still used them today.

The Goblin King has everything I need from a villain, and yes I would stay with him. No, that should not surprise you.

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The Bill Season 23 Episode 80

Watched this yesterday for the sole fact it stars Neil Newbon. For the most part, it's fine. Classic 00's campiness. My only issue with the episode is the ending. The police tell an 18 year old rape victim that her trauma will get smaller and smaller over time until one day it isn't there at all. I'm sorry what?

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The Death of The Incredible Hulk (1990)

Idk what to say about this honestly. I guess it was pretty sad when he died.

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Twenty One Pilots More Than We Ever Imagined

Saw this on Saturday and really loved it. I thought there was a good mix of concert footage and behind the scenes stuff. As a fan of behind the scenes and technical stuff I would always love more but this was a great look. It took me a little while to work out the BTS stuff was in black and white but that was a really nice choice. The concert footage gave me goosebumps several times, and a good feeling of fomo. As someone who did go to a show on this run it really brought it back and I was so jealous of everyone in the moment. Twenty One Pilots really care about putting on a show, and it shows.

I did think the experience was tempered slightly by seeing it in a relatively small UK cinema. We are a lot more reserved and have cinema etiquette. My sister was the only one to say the "2 minutes" response for example. People did warm up and start singing but it was such a small crowd it did have an awkward feeling to it, not like when you get a good sized group all singing. Similarly, the venue the concert I went to was held at hosted 24,000 people and I thought that was crazy big. So to see this stadium has 65,000 was something else.

This was a great film well worth the money and 3 hour round trip I had to go on to see it.

Also Joshler kiss mentioned. They have a great sense of humour.

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Cranford Season 1 Episode 3

This show is so beautiful and I cried so hard. The poetry especially hit me.

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The Punisher (1989)

This wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be but that doesn't necessarily mean it was good. I've seen it now, anyway.

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Cranford Season 1 Episodes 1 & 2

I struggled to see how Phillip Glenister would fit in an 1800's setting, but he is absolutely perfect as Mr Carter. And who couldn't love Judi Dench doing period acting. In fact there's a lot of stars in this series and they all play their roles well. This is such a great show, I am enjoying it so much. Funny but moving and fits my need for British period content. It's also beautifully cinematic. For a comedy I sure did cry a lot.

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The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (1989)

I'm trying to watch all Marvel stuff ever. Only reason I watched this. I wouldn't recommend that you do. It works for what it was, which is a backdoor Daredevil TV pilot. It was fine, I suppose.

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Unrelated (2007)

This is a really beautiful film. I think it's the kind of film you appreciate more on a rewatch, and I also think it's something I will appreciate more as I get older. I haven't really seen many indie films before and the quietness got to me a little at first. I don't think I realised how much big movies always have music or some kind of other audio going on to guide you. The quietness was actually really refreshing once I got used to it and suited it perfectly. This film is a female centred story by a female director and I like that. Of course, I did choose to watch it because it's Tom Hiddleston's first film. He is so cute with his curly hair and I realised he was the same age when he filmed this as I am now. It was also quite nice to see his sister there, which contributes to one of the film's themes of family.

There is a little goof I found funny during quite an important moment, someone says Tom to him instead of Oakley.

This film has something for current me and future me, which is great, so I'm sure I'll watch it again.

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Genuinely, with the amount of love the BG3 cast have for each other and how much of themselves they have put into the characters I will riot if they dare to make a series not involving them.

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The Night Manager Season 2 Episode 6 - Further Thoughts

Big spoilers below.

Okay. I've had some time to think about this a bit more. My heartbreak at the deaths aside, I think this ending was very clever. Traditionally, and as we see in season 1, the good guys win. Jonathan Pine gets Richard Roper arrested. Good guys win. Good will always triumph over evil. And that's what makes season 2's ending feel so jarring. Roper achieves his goals, gains his freedom and goes back to his life in England. He wins. Jonathan is left with yet another dead love interest and a heap load of trauma with nothing to show for it, whilst severely injured himself. That's not supposed to happen. I saw an interview Tom Hiddleston did where he talked about the time that had passed between seasons and the ways the world has changed since then. And that's just it. You don't have to look hard or far to see evil people getting away with what they're doing. This feels like a good commentary on that. It also works knowing there will be a season 3 that will pick up on this, where hopefully, good will finally triumph. I don't know quite how to phrase this, but it's an illustration that nobody can win all the time. Good can't find all the time. This world is cruel, and that's why this ending seems so cruel. But equally, good does win sometimes. Nothing is ever hopeless. Jonathan Pine won in series 1, and I'm sure he won't take this lying down. Even if he is presently lying down on a Columbian forest floor.

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Doctor Who Season 7 Episodes 6 & 7

Watched these both with a friend last night, a good few months since I saw the previous episodes but I think I remembered what I needed to.

Episode 6 - the WiFi plot felt a little bit too simple and easily resolved to me at first, until the reveal of the Grand Intelligence and Clara at the end turned it around. I do love Richard E. Grant. Although maybe I'm missing something but Clara went from a girl with no computer skills to being able to find everyone online oddly quickly. I'm maybe missing a plot device. And the sliders were so funny. However I do think it's starting to get weird that the Doctor keeps meeting a young woman, ruining her life, swearing never to do it again and then immediately doing it again.

Episode 7 - Yeah, he has a thing for going back and seeing them as kids. At least Eleven does. Which is really weird. I also think it's a bit odd that Clara was immediately willing to give away two deeply important items having only just met the Doctor. I did enjoy the speech about an infinity of things that could have been. Does the Doctor have no memories now? That seems like it will have a lot of consequences. And I am interested to see where this story with Clara and the Grand Intelligence goes.

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The Night Manager Season 2 Episode 6

Spoilers below!

I have no properly in depth analysis. Maybe in the future. I knew that was all going too smoothly. And I just knew deep down Teddy just wouldn't be able to pull that trigger. I'm so heartbroken. Even when you know something is coming, it doesn't make it any easier. And Angela too! I'm going to sit in silence for a while, read some Teddy and Jonathan fanfiction and pray that Danny doesn't turn out like his dad.

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The Night Manager Season 2 Episode 5

Spoilers below!

Okay so wow! A lot happened here and I have a lot to say about it. My stress cube really must have hated me during this episode.

Meeting Roper is ballsy af. And I'm sure Pine knows deep down that Roper is never going to give himself up. We get a huge measure of Roper's character from him shooting the dogs, only soon after he chided Pine for having a conscience.

My heart was fully in my mouth when they found the microphone and went after Martin, I'm so glad he managed to get away. And with all the tracking of people Roper and his crew do, I'm surprised they didn't follow/track the car. Unless they did and we just haven't seen it yet.

Teddy. Sweet sweet Teddy. I am honestly heartbroken for him, being used and finding out he is being used. His face when he found the passport and brochure and knew Pine had told him the truth. Teddy loves Pine and I love them both. I really need everything to work out for them.

Myra. I don't know where this goes for her. She was too much of a coward to actually shoot Basil herself and she is on a first name and calling basis with Roper so she is in this shit deep. Very mixed up and tricky.

And of course, Roxanna. I think very deliberately we can never tell what she is doing or who's side she is on. I have to admire her as a headstrong woman who isn't afraid to walk into danger like that but come on woman, what are you doing? One of the last things Pine says to her is that she was only ever trying to save her own skin. Which for the most part I think is correct. So is that what she's doing now? Is she going to give the game away?

We also still have not seen the famous clip of Pine being dragged off backwards with his mouth taped. Which of course means it happens next week. Did Roxanna sell him out? With all the ends that need tying up it could have come from anywhere and anything could happen and I'm so nervous I think my stress ball might pop. I can't wait for next week but equally I will be so sad to see this season come to an end because despite it raising my heart rate dramatically it has been incredible.