Some of you may have seen some of the things that my ex girlfriend posted about me, including accusations and text messages.
This this is my response.
Me and her both have severe mental disorders. Mental disorders that are hard to deal with on a daily basis. And when me and her would have our bad days with our disorders. That's when we would Clash.
Sometimes, I can be a real dick. Awful awful person. You see, and some people going to call this a crutch. I have borderline personality disorder. And it's something that I fight with every single day. I don't know how to control my emotions properly. They are overactive in my brain. Sometimes I may do or say things and not even know I did them or said them until they are already been said. It's something I need to get help with. That's why, possibly , in the next few weeks I'm going to admit myself to a hospital to try to get the help that I need. Cuz all I seem to do is push people away and hurt the ones I love Dearest and closest to me.
Like I said though, we both would Clash with each other. I'm not going to go into Super details about my ex-girlfriends mental disorder. But I will say, that it can make her be almost like a totally different person. Sometimes very cold. Sometimes very distant. Sometimes voidless of any love or empathy. It's something that I've dealt with through the whole relationship. And I've stuck through it all for her.
I will say, this break up is probably for the best. I know I did a lot of wrong in the relationship. But I know it's not all my fault. I couldn't really express myself to her. Looking back, and to be bluntly honest her. Maybe me and her never really connected. Because I'm the type of guy who enjoys conversating with my significant other. She wasn't like that. She never really seemed to enjoy talking to me on the phone it was always usually just text. She'll tell you that it's me wanting to have a high school relationship and or that I'm just clingy. But, I'm a very lovey-dovey type of guy. She wasn't really like that she will do it for a while. And then the voidless and distant.
I'm the type of person who believes in boundaries in relationships. This wouldn't be the first time she's broken up with of me. There's just one time or first big break up. She left me and then a week later she was already and interested with somebody else that she was working with. But the moment I got back together with my ex. She came running back. Telling me it was her mental disorder and that she just needed time to think etc etc. But then she did it again for the same person. Blame it on her disorder again. And then got furious at me when the dude text me or screenshot of her telling him while me and her were so dating that she regretted walking away from him. She said I was digging period at that moment, when he sent me that text, that screenshot. I felt pretty Vindicated that I needed to be digging. Since that common Nothing Was the Same Again. I was constantly paranoid about her. About her mental disorder. If she was able to actually control herself because of her disorder.
She ended up getting her way about still being friends with the guy even though it made me feel so uncomfortable. I believe that there are boundaries. And that was a boundary to me. With all the advice I've gotten, it's a pretty common insecuritie.
She'll sit there and tell people about how paranoid I would be. And call it emotional abuse. There has been plenty of time she has mentally and emotionally abused me. I always felt like I had to walk around on eggshells when it came to her. I had to be careful about what I say, I had to be careful and fearful about if my voice is too loud or not, I had to be careful about a lot of things when it came to her. And she would get paranoid about me . Not a recently though, before she broke up with me. That's what kind of got me suspicious in the first place. Speaking of suspicious, I think she's already with somebody. Maybe her ex, I don't know.
Anyway, I was having a bad day and I didn't really want to talk to her about it, one time. And she got so angry with me because I didn't want to tell her. And got so angry at me because I told her a white lie that I was okay. And then these two chicks commented me on fb. And then she went completely, I don't know on me.
I tried so hard to control my issues when it came to her. And sometimes it was very demanding. Whenever I would fuck up when it came to my mental issues, she would make sure she would do everything she could to make me feel like shit. I was constantly worried that she would break up with me, always so worried. In my head I would be like well if I do this she may break up with me if I do that she may break up with me. But whenever she would fuck up and being assholes distant person to me, I wasn't supposed to be mad. I always felt like I had to shut my mouth and just accept it.
To be completely honest, I was thinking about leaving her sometime next month. Because it was just not clearly working at all. We clashed a lot, we ain't have nothing in common, and I always felt like I was interested in her more than she was with me. It was a very lonely relationship. But that doesn't mean I do not love her. Because I do. And I wish her, her son, and her family the best of luck.
Before I end this though. She isn't a awful person. She can be a very loving bright awesome chick sometimes. But sometimes, she acts as if the whole world revolves around her. And she'll say the same about me. Me and her both have that issue.
I do not like the person that i am, but my goal is to get more help so that can change.
This is my side of the story. I'm not claiming to be perfect, I'm claiming that I'm not alone in this. I plan on not to date for a very long time until I get the help I need and I until I'm ready.
annaxmalina
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
germansingergirl
