I Couldnt Find A Better Name

People out here having funny and creative names. Unfair

[outofcontextdiscord]

[whereareallthegoodnames]

are these the lyrics to St. Bernard by Lincoln?

[misakysh]

🍜: Huh? What are you so jealous about?

💐: W-WHAT?! I-I’m not jealous!!

🍜: Hehe, then why are you blushing so much?

💐:SHUT UP!!!!

[waytooinvested]

Kara: Telling someone you love them is such a wonderful part of human connection. Like, your friend saves the last doughnut for you so you say 'I love you', or your sister cracks up at her own dorky pun and it makes you laugh so you say 'I love you'. I just think the world would be a better place if we were all open enough to say 'I love you' a little more often. Alex: ... So that's why you blurted out 'I love you' to Lena in the middle of Game Night? Kara: Exactly! Alex: Sure, totally makes sense. Alex: ... Now explain why she stuck her tongue down your throat straight after. Kara: Kara: Kara: Sticking your tongue down someone's throat is such a wonderful part of human con- Alex: BYE.

[fandomfloater]

Kara (sad): Alex, Lena found out I’m supergirl but I think she forgave me after eating me out.

Alex: wtf

Lena (running into the room): CHEWED YOU OUT KARA. CHEWED

[waytooinvested]

Lena: So... James and I are dating Alex: I'm so happy for you Lena, James is great! Kara: Yeah, really, really great guy. And not violent at all. Lena: What? Kara: I said he's not violent. And he's handsome. Lena: Yeah but... did he used to be violent? Kara: No, that's the great thing about him, he's never been violent. Alex: What are you talking about Kara, James isn't violent! Kara: No, that's what I said. Lena: Kara, if you told me you were going out with someone and I said 'oh great, they never set fire to things!' what would you think? Kara: I'd be pleased. Kara: Well... I suppose might wonder why you hadn't said whether or not they were violent. Lena: ... Right, fine. Well, I think I'm going to go for a walk. Clear my head... [Lena leaves] Alex: Wouldn't it just be easier to just ask her out? Kara: Yeah, no, I tried that once but I didn't get any further than 'hi' before I got all tongue tied and had to go and lie down for like an hour to recover. So I've decided what I'm going to do instead is just subtly put her off every other dating option in the world.

[mesetacadre]

If you ever meet someone on the internet claiming they're from the USA, watch out because they're most likely an AI bot. nobody in the US can afford an internet connection (because they're so poor) and even if they could their schools are so underfunded they couldn't even know how to use the internet

[anexperimentallife]

This is true. I'm from the USA, and I don't even know what the Internet IS, let alone how to access it.

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you don't even know what the Internet IS, let alone how to access it.

[vyynn]

Peter: Mr Stark! The ice cream truck is gonna pass by soon, can I borrow 2 bucks?

Tony: What's the magic word kid.

Peter: Dad?

Tony, pulling out $100 from his wallet: It was supposed to be please but...that works too.

Bruce, muttering under his breath: A bit too well.

[turing-tested]

avatar aang is…..my dad

[shitbrick]

explain

[turing-tested]

disappeared when i needed him most

[turing-tested]

hey so this was a good post and all and im glad i got to collaborate with you but i just realized your url was “waluigis-penis” and i would like a refund, please,

[shitbrick]

suck my waluweenie

[turing-tested]

D:

[turing-tested]

sorry to interrupt stairsweek but why is tumblr acting like this person killed me on impact by showing me as deactivated

[abi7100]

Interviewer [To Peter]: So how does it feel working with someone who's so out of your league?

Peter: um.. well-

Tony, grabbing the mic: It feels amazing. fantastic. He's simply remarkable. Still don't know how i did it.

[kalichnikov]

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up

[hawktims]

THE PITT 1x09 | 3.00 P.M.

[whereareallthegoodnames]

For a second I thought this was Eliot and Quentin

[hjartasalt]

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

[hjartasalt]

Daddy has five days left to live

[hjartasalt]

Daddy wishes to be cremated

[hjartasalt]

It's what daddy would have wanted

[hjartasalt]

Hi. Everyone else go home this is the only tag that matters to me

[pukicho]

Moon shaped anomaly in the sky tonight

[chaoticlittleguy]

is it the moon?

[pukicho]

I’m not answering questions right now. I’m scared.

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[brucedefender4eva]

Damian, now a teenager and wanting to experience normal teen shit: Baba, it’s just an overnight party

Tim: Yeah Bruce, at least Damian’s asking and not sneaking out

Jason: Small victories

Bruce: Fine… I’ll let you go on one condition

Damian: Anything

Bruce: Point to one person in this room that’s straight

Tim: …

Dick: …

Jason: …

Damian: Thats easy. Pennyworth

Bruce: *pulls out buzzer and presses on it* Wrong! It was a trick question. Not a single person in this household is straight. Get your ass upstairs

Damian: Wha- That’s so unfair, ugh! *stomps upstairs muttering under his breath*

Alfred: Master Bruce-

Bruce: Don’t even try to deny it Alfred. I was young but I still had eyes. You and my parents were very obvious.

Dick: Oop!

[simplyjustfucked]

[counterpick-me-irl]

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

[jfk-blown-away-blog]

I wish I spoke Spanish, this probably says something really beautiful

[avesgrayson]

Teenage Damian: Father, I have something very important to tell you. Richard has assured me it will not change your view of me, and I am holding you to that.

Bruce, thinking another kid is coming out: of course Damian. You are my kid, that will not change

Damian: *nods and takes a deep breath*

Damian: As you are aware, there has been a concerning increase of bats and they have risked disturbing the signals and various memorabilia due to them

Damian: There are more that are flying or stationing themselves around lower to the ground, and I have overheard you and Gordon wondering if they are diseased or rabid.

Bruce, officially lost: hn

Damian: The reason there's been an uptick of bats inside the main part of the cave is due to me feeding and befriending them

Bruce:

Damian: They prefer kiwi and strawberries