I wrote this about my ex-girlfriend who was about 14 years older than me. I now realize that at the time she wasn’t mentally or emotionally well. I bore the brunt of her issues and because of this, developed issues of my own that I still struggle with. It took me a long time to understand that we are not responsible for the mental or emotional health of our loved ones. Their actions are their choices. All we can do is love and support them. Sometimes it’s not enough. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts...please, please seek help. They say that the mind is a terrible thing to lose. It’s also a terrible place to get lost in, especially in such dark times as we currently live in.
Eyes of a stranger,
staring at me.
Never thought I would
see someone I didn't know
staring back at me
from your eyes.
What did I do,
to make you go away from me?
Was it me?
Or was it you?
Unhappy of who you had
become.
and where you were going.
I don't think I was the reason you left,
I know I'm not really the
reason you stayed.
Though you say
that if you hadn't loved me
You would have left.
I do not believe it.
you stayed because you
were afraid.
Of being alone,
and on your own.
You don't know how
to be by yourself.
For all your strength,
for all your knowledge,
you can't be alone.
It is like standing at
the edge of the abyss for you.
The idea of being alone.
While I have always
cherished my solitude,
you have always run from it,
even when complaining that
you have none.
I gave you the space you claimed
you needed, and when I did,
You had a problem with it.
Because that abyss was before you,
and you felt yourself falling into it.
I used to be the one you reached for,
that you grabbed hold of...to keep
from falling.
I was the one that held you
back, and let you cry.
But in the end,
it became to safe,
to common.
You needed a challenge
not stability.
Though you are afraid
of being without it,
the thought excites you.
because you are toying with that
abyss.
One day, it will swallow you whole,
and you will be completely alone,
I hope you are never
so alone that
you will be lost in there forever.
But your fear, will be your undoing.
in your fear, you will be alone.
So, now you latch on to whatever is
closest.
Your fear driving you to
make hasty decisions,
ones that you will regret.
One that you already regret.
Why else would you say the things
to me that you say?
Intentionally trying to hurt me.
Things you know will upset me.
You confuse yourself,
even as you confuse others.
Do you know what you want?
Or are you as much a
stranger to yourself,
as you are to me?
Does it scare you
to look into the mirror
and not know the person
staring back at you?
do you ever realize that
you have changed that much?
Do you care?
Eye's of a stranger,
no longer look in my direction,
Eyes of a stranger,
beware your own fear.
For that abyss is closer
than you realize.
Be careful where you step,
the first one
is a doozy.
Eyes of a stranger,
may you find yourself
anew.
2087
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