Untitled

[balconeko]

if you ONLY associate "men" or "masculinity" with negative stuff, then youre not gonna be a good ally to trans masc people. while some transmascs can experience gender euphoria from being associated with the negative parts of masculinity, its not really the best way to give them that. "wow, youre really a man cause <negative male stereotype>" might be funny and stuff, but imagine telling a transfem "wow, youre really a woman cause <negative female stereotype>". while it could give someone gender euphoria but its still a product of bigotry.

if you want to be a better ally to trans men and transmascs, you should probably try to appreciate good qualities of men and masculine people in general.

[whyisrainfalling]

all the activities my parents signed me up for and forced me through (and not my older sister or younger brother) like 4H, summer “finishing school” and pastoral counseling by the age of 14 proves to me that not only did they see my queerness from a very young age, they actively tried to convert me out of it.

-content warning-

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

4H - very heavily gendered in the area I grew up in, was all about learning how to cook and sew and clean and be a good wife

summer finishing school - literally was about how to present yourself as a proper young lady complete with dancing classes, setting a table properly, and “ladies manners”

pastoral counseling - I have so little memory of this time but I do remember being made to stand in front of a mirror in a bathing suit and point out my “womanly features” (I was 12. This was pretty obviously a pervy old man offering conversion therapy)

[squareic]

it does say something about the state of the queer community that no one really talks about or cares that since 1991 T has been a class III controlled substance in the united states. for decades now trans men and mascs have had our names tracked and traced if we were legally prescribed T. since before some of you were even born, the american govt has had a list of us.

you need to care about the trans men and mascs who have been on these lists for almost 30 years now. you need to care about more than the threat or concept of trans women and femmes being put on a list, because your brothers are already there.

[frozen-autumns]

it both saddens me and really fucking aggravates me when some types of trans men pride themselves on being good, quiet, pliant men, and put down the ones that want to be outspoken.

when the subject at hand is how we're erased in topics that affect and often outright kill us (see: reproductive health, homelessness, sexual assault rates, etc), I don't see anything admirable about going "well, we're still men, so this isn't our place to speak over women." it's speaking over women to say we experience this too?

if I want to be blunter than usual, I'd say this "sitting down and being a good little trans guy" shtick only helps the people that want us dead. if talking about how we're oppressed (instead of rocketing up to some place of absolute privilege like they assume) upsets some people, frankly, I don't give a shit. I'll maybe give a shit when my trans brothers stop dying of sepsis, slaughter and suicide. until then, I hope being forced to acknowledge us makes you feel guilty enough to listen.

[kittyswitching]

trans men absolutely are in sex work, the majority just present as women for work because it's much harder to make money if you don't. You don't see them because they're forced to detransition for work or you haven't even tried to look for the ones who are presenting masc. They're all over the sex work forums if you know what to look for and how they talk about it.

there is no "trans men aren't pushed into sex work" privilege. It is not a privilege to be forced into it AND have to detransition for it. This isn't a competition

[transguyjusttrying]

Discussions about transandrophobia in general trans and queer spaces can be so fucking exhausting. Someone will talk about how he is forced to act more like his AGAB or be treated like he's inherently dangerous and people will be like, "yeah, that's what it's like being a man. Just accept that your presence scares people because we see you as inherently predatory, but also accept that people will treat you like a confused woman who doesn't know her own mind," and they'll expect us to just think that's okay instead of pushing back and challenging the blatant gender essentialism.

[useless-stray]

if you tell trans men to kill themselves and they get upset and your response to that is “you’re a man, you by default perpetuate the conditions that lead to my abuse, you deserve this!!!” then you clearly have no damn idea what the fuck you’re talking about or what it’s like to be a trans man

[crimsonender]

Misogyny.

[dogboyblood]

[whyisrainfalling]

posted on another platform abt the SA, physical abuse, and social exclusion I’ve faced that was specifically enacted by TERFs/radfems to punish me for being a trans man and it made the usual suspects (self hating trans men) crawl out of the woodworks to explain to me that that’s actually the acceptable way to treat men

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[tboy-cock]

i felt guilty since i came out for being "the wrong type of trans" as a trans man due to the rhetoric surrounding trans men at the time. that was 8 years ago and it hasnt gotten better, its gotten worse actually. this is a big problem. young trans boys dont deserve to feel guilty for being trans just because theyre not women

[busket]

people say trans men dont do anything for the queer community or that trans men just go stealth and abandon other trans people but two trans men are suing Kansas state for civil rights violations after they stripped trans people of their driver's licenses

ive seen people report this as "two transgender individuals" they are TRANS MEN. ftm transgender men. degendering them by calling them "individuals" enforces our erasure and invisibility. I hope they win and the licenses of transgender kansans are reinstated, I hope its remembered as a historic civil rights case, and I hope their identities as trans men are never stripped from them in the retelling of this story.

[apollosfallen]

The argument of "trans men have privilege when they pass" is also so asinine because privilege isn't just "other men treating you nicer" it's getting unbiased and unrestricted medical attention, it's lower or no statistics of corrective sexual assault or impregnation, it's not having actual laws passed against your existence, it's not having to worry about passing in the first place, it's having historical figures retain their identity and not erased in some girl power misgendering bs, it's having your identity celebrated instead of treated like a loss of something pure.

If you think male privilege is just being treated like "one of the guys" in day to day life, you need to relearn a lot of things about privilege before you try to have these conversations.

[disk-whorse]

the survivorship bias for trans men is so horrific to me when i actually sit down to think about it. its actually Not Surprising that the majority of the voice for trans mascs come from white educated people with supportive families and/or communities. because the trans mascs who dont have that tend to detransition to finally access resources or just fucking kill themselves. the poverty rates for trans men and the homelessness and the medical abuse and the vilification of masculinity in queer communities and the violent transphobia from transphobes and the Everything all compound together to make sure the only men that survive to talk about their experiences are the men who had it easy. and then queer people have the GALL to say “trans men have it easy because theyre men” like there isnt a pile of underprivileged dead bodies laying behind the most privileged trans men in the community who get to speak for all of us and loudly agree “of course trans men have it easy, havent you seen how easy I had it?”

[puppyloathing-deactivated202605]

cw csa

”i’m pro-choice!”

”me too!”

”yes! abortion is LIFE SAVING health care! it should be a legally protected right for all women!”

”i agree, and it should be a right for everyone who can get pregnant, everyone has a right to bodily autonomy! and pregnant trans people should also have a legally protected right to have an abortion.”

”bean soup theory ugh STOP CENTERING MEN IN FEMINISM”

you are not actually pro-choice if this is your viewpoint. you don’t want abortion to be a legally protected right. you don’t give a shit about harm reduction, the wellbeing of children and their parents, saving lives OR people being able to have final say in what happens to their bodies. you only want that to be available to YOU. if trans people are not included in your politics, you’re not fucking pro-choice. and you’re not a feminist.

ignoring the perspectives of trans individuals may result in a law being passed that is worded as ”every woman has the right to abortion”. good for you, a cis woman!

very, very bad for a trans man who changed his legal gender to male a while ago, whose endocrinologist may have neglected to tell him that testosterone does not prevent pregnancy even if he no longer has a period, or he just had some insanely bad luck. and now he’s pregnant, and he does not want to be. he tries to book an appointment for an abortion but he is denied. because his legal gender is male, so he is not legally entitled to one and they latch on to that definition of the law for dear life. because hey, motherhood might get him to straighten out and get back in line!

you might think i’m reaching, but i read about a case in Sweden, a man was initially not convicted of raping a child because that little girl used the wrong word for her genitals. the court ruled that according to her testimony there was no penetration involved, and therefore it was not considered rape. because the word she, a CHILD, had used to describe her vagina wasn’t clinically correct.

definitions matter. and if they can be picked apart to continue oppressing those who are systematically weaker than you, they will.

[whyisrainfalling]

why can’t I say equating masculinity to abusive behavior is bad because it genuinely harms trans men without someone saying

“b-but more importantly it lets men off the hook!!!!!!!”

why can’t the harm it brings to trans men be a conversation of it’s own without the disclaimer?