🖤

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[petulantpony]

i’ve said it before but i wish vaginas didn’t cost money

[petulantpony]

you literally can not have a vagina without paying for it. vaginoplasty for some, period products for others, if you want to stop buying period products that’s gonna be expensive medicine or an expensive procedure, recovery from surgery requires time off work and vaginoplasty specifically requires money spent on dilators. our bodies shouldnt cost us this much on baseline. having a vagina shouldnt have such a hefty tax on it. it makes me feel like i’m in a fictional dystopia written for middle school classrooms when i think about it.

[gremlinservant]

Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today

Edit:

THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Happy disability pride month

[nose-bl]

via @ninjahijabimuse​

this is so much better i love it

[deadelated]

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hedgemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al

[superhelldeactivated]

I've realized recently that every time I'm asked for socials my response is sorta "oh i don't have twitter" "I'm not on Instagram much" "i uninstalled TikTok a few months ago" and this has led people into believing I'm just someone who doesn't do social media but in reality you can find me in here lets get it on cunts monday through shawty like a melody sunday, 9am to 12am, posting blorbo.

[televisionenjoyer]

I was going to be like "well that certainly was not true cause you deactivated" and then I looked at the blog and. that's literally my old blog.

[imnotdaredevilmatt]

[toastyglow]

"it's inscrutable" maybe to you it is. I scrute it all the time

[i-give-you-a-fish]

You get a Milkfish

Chanos chanos

[fish-identifier]

i scrute the milkfish

[junk-thunder]

you can hit it raw, i’ve got an IED

[sparrow-va]

you have a wha

[contagiousgrace]

I just don't think we ever wrapped up the Clown Sightings of 2016 in a satisfactory way.

[miiilowo]

whenever i get worried about being judged i just gotta remind myself that most people genuinely just arent mean. some people really do suck but i think 98% of the human population is a lot kinder than your anxiety would let you believe

[miiilowo]

it's easy to lose sight of when youre online but all the dickheads are just pushed forward by algorithms. theyre an exception that are being way overrepresented. most people have sense and logic and are kind and normal and well adjusted in the real world

[00000066]

[human-pet-they]

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

[catchymemes]

[ohnoitstbskyen]

People who object to trans people being in fantasy are wild. As though some silly-hatted alchemist wouldn't simply invent Almazar's Gender Fluid in an afternoon and distribute it to every dungeon chest in the land. It's Common on the loot table and half the goblins drop it. You can brew it yourself with three mushrooms and eight snail shells. It sells for 1 copper at the merchant because the supply is so abundant. You fool. You melon. You absolute buffoon. The limits of what you are willing to imagine are an epitaph you wrote for your own freedom.

[alvallah]

One of my favorite things about loving someone or developing a closeness or fondness towards someone is also loving and developing a fondness for the things they care about. When you learn to see the world in a new way, or you learn to appreciate the things you’ve previously overlooked, or they become your excuse to get into an interest you always thought was cool but thought you didn’t have time for. When a connection makes your world bigger and warmer and fuller and more beautiful.