Wicked Apollo

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[ad-wills]

[deadpan-c]

i wanna try an experiment

without coordinating or telling anyone the correct answer, guess the most popular one:

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Voting ended onJun 9, 2024

reblog for sample size pls thx

[cannibalchicken]

[the-mighty-upside-down-pyramid]

I will continue to call The Creature “Frankenstein” and no force in Heaven or Earth will impede that.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I also laughed at him totally deliberately calling attention to the fact Victor isn’t a real doctor because he dropped out of college and built a guy out of corpses

[neonthebright]

He punched the lycanthropy right out of wolfman

[wackd-archive]

did he just throw ygor out a window

[kaity--did]

Starting a new thread of insane shit I over hear my husband say to our toddler.

“Here, will this rice cake cracker sate your dark passanger?”

[kaity--did]

2. “Come now my child.”

*bluey the album starts playing*

[kaity--did]

3. “Oh I am so sorry. You’ve been mildly inconvenienced. How dare I truly”

[kaity--did]

4. “It is she! Her Majesty, Queen of the Sludge, Keeper of Goo, DJ Baby P (In the House) Dropper of Beats and Clapper of Hands”

[kaity--did]

5. He is in charge of bathtime and he lifted the ghoul tonight while singing “come with me and you’ll be in a world of baby sanitation” and I laughed so hard I snorted pasta

[kaity--did]

6. Okay this is more one that he said to me about the toddler but he was home with her while I was at work and I just got this text

[kaity--did]

7.

“Happy Independence Day Sweetie! Nationalism is a cancer!”

[kaity--did]

8. This is another one he said to me about her but still it made me laugh so hard I nearly choked

[kaity--did]

9.

*Penny babbling in the back seat, many la la las coming from her car seat*

“Are you singing us a song? Ah yes the dulcet tones of goblin”

[kaity--did]

10.

“Listen kid, I can’t let you have the cup anymore because you keep chugging the bath water, so we just have to remove the cup from the equation.”

[kaity--did]

11.

*penny is screaming, trying to climb back up a big slide at the playground*

“Someday you’ll learn about ,I don’t know physics and the myth of Sisyphus ,and you’ll start making a lot of connections I think. “

[kaity--did]

12. *Pen is still screaming and baby cussing about not being able to climb back up the slide*

“The problem is that you set goals for yourself that are unattainable by both man and baby.”

[kaity--did]

13.

“You can keep the cookie container, I don’t care. What kind of father would I be if I tried to separate a small raccoon child from her trash!?”

[kaity--did]

14.

*Penny is crying because the bucket she insisted on sitting in fell off the couch with her in it. Husband is bouncing her and rubbing her back after assessing that no physical damage occurred, just a bruised toddler ego*

“Oh my poor sweet angel. She fucked around and found out.”

[kaity--did]

15.

[kaity--did]

16. “The only three things this child cares about is Elmo, Cooking Videos, and Keith Tryguy”.

[kaity--did]

17.

“Hey. No! Cup privileges hereby rescinded, bath chugger”

[kaity--did]

18.

we miss him a lot

[kaity--did]

19.

[kaity--did]

20.

“I just don’t know how you and I, the two most indoorsy people to ever exist, managed to give birth to I don’t know , Baby Bear Grylls!?”

[kaity--did]

21.

“Not that I ever would because I love her and she’s my best friend, but I’m pretty sure if we just gave her one of those old timey kerchiefs on a stick and like sent her into the woods, she’d be fine. She’d come home in a week with berries and woodland friends ready to go to war for her.”

[kaity--did]

22.

“There’s so many mommy blogs and parenting books but not one of them have ever told me what to do when my child adopts a mad scientist laugh. How do you proceed from there?”

[kaity--did]

23.

(For context on this one, my in laws have one of these as a coffee table)

[kaity--did]

24.

Me: *hears a biiiig gulp come from upstairs* HEY IS SHE CHUGGING BATH WATER AGAIN?

Husband: SHE GOT THE PITCHER I USE TO RINSE HER HAIR AND IM AFRAID OF HER SO YES

[kaity--did]

25.

“ you know how penny can count to 5? She absolutely can not count to 6. We’re going through the numbers on her cube thing right? One, Two, Three, Four, Five and stop. She looks at me like what the hell do you mean keep going we’ve completed counting, this is all the numbers. I point at the 6, cause you know this thing goes to 10 and she is like looking at me like Dad, I got 1 through 5, that thing you’re pointing to? That’s some ancient rune from an unknown civilization and I can’t help you with that”

[kaity--did]

26.

“You really can do anything you set your mind to Penny Rose, it’s just that what your set it to doesn’t make a lick of sense”

[kaity--did]

27.

“Oh by the way I need a new pitcher because penny rose, much like a tiny Thor, took her bath pitcher and cracked in on the ground after she attempted to chug it”

[kaity--did]

28. (In response to penny being in her “I must be nude” phase)

[kaity--did]

29. Last one today. In response to Penny Rose’s unadulterated toddler rage

[kaity--did]

30.

“Her legs are so small why she so fast?”

[kaity--did]

31.

“Who taught her to call us you guys? She knows we’re mom and dad right? She just keeps calling me you guys”

[kaity--did]

32.

“When I get a sandwhich or a sub I always get chips cause you gotta get P a distraction snack, a dissnacktion if you will”

[kaity--did]

33.

Can’t get in my feelings when my husband is the court jester appointed to make me laugh

[kaity--did]

34.

(For context we play a level of Kirby every night as soon as P is out of the tub and into her Jammies)

“Penny Rose you have to brush your hair! You can’t let Kirby see you like this!”

[kaity--did]

35.

“Penny woke up with morning and said “I’m gonna lay in bed and and shout every word I know with no context at all”

[kaity--did]

36. “You’re being a real Muffin right now lady”

Oooo drag her

[kaity--did]

37.

*penny and husband in the distance, Penny is yelling PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH*

“Girl the word you’re looking for is actually pull. You want to pull the zipper on your Jammies… yes okay yeah you do it. But you’re not doing it. Its pull. Its pull. You pull. You pull. You did it! I don’t know if that deserves applause really. Okay we’re clapping”

[kaity--did]

38.

This might be niche to us but man I was cracking up

[kaity--did]

39.

“My wish for P is that someday she finds someone who looks at her the way she looks at bread”

[kaity--did]

40.

“I know we don’t have food rules but I am going to have to start enacting food laws against food crimes. First order, you can’t shove your fist in the butter. That’s not about eating that’s about human decency.”

[kaity--did]

41.

Them boys are gonna learn unfortunately

[kaity--did]

41. (For context my daughter calls herself Penny Woes, because her name is Penny Rose and Rs are hard)

“When the snacks are gone and no one will pick you, these are Penny Woes”

[kaity--did]

42.

Husband: *goes to steal another fruit snack from P*

Me: stop stealing her snacks!

Husband: it’s the dad tax!

Me: yeah well taxation without representation is illegal.

Husband: she can say whatever she wants to me! And I, much like the US government, don’t have to listen to ANY of it!

[kaity--did]

43. Alright when we get to 50 I’m starting a new thread. This is getting out of hand

[kaity--did]

44:

Wednesdays are my favorite days because my husband works from home with Penny and I get a running commentary all morning

[kaity--did]

45:

“You’ll never defeat Posiedon if all you’re worried about is your dress getting wet!”

[kaity--did]

46. Back to our regularly scheduled content

[kaity--did]

47.

“Yes they are all your books but guess what girlie? You literally can’t read.”

(I have no idea why this had be in tears)

[kaity--did]

48.

Dada do be going through it

[penandinkprincess]

HI WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE A BABY GOOSE

[penandinkprincess]

SCRATCH THAT IT WAS A PINECONE

APOLOGIES FOR THE FALSE ADVERTISING

NO ONE IS MORE DISAPPOINTED THAN ME

[penandinkprincess]

NO

[penandinkprincess]

I DON'T THINK YOU ARE

[penandinkprincess]

OH MY GOD

[penandinkprincess]

OKAY, Y'KNOW-

[penandinkprincess]

I DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS

[thequeenofsastiel]

THERE IS NO PINECONE IS THERE

[kandradiction]

WE TRUSTED YOU. GOOSEGATE 2024

[penandinkprincess]

I AM GOING TO SET THE PINECONE ON FIRE

[quinloki]

oh no the -

[kandradiction]

[kandradiction]

it's time to take the power back from Big Pinecone and give it to the people

[penandinkprincess]

YOU DID NOT MAKE FUCKING FANART FOR THIS GODDAMN POST

OH MY GOD

[kandradiction]

"I'm sorry it came to this, old friend. I...I let the power of goosegate go to my head." I chuckle softly, shaking my head.

"But it's too late now. And you can't deny, the people yearn for the cone." There's the tremendous sound of tearing metal and snapping wood as the final defenses are broken. I smile sadly.

"They're here."

[penandinkprincess]

RP FANFICTION??

RP FANFICTION ON MY POST??

NO

[squidsandthings]

There once was tumblr named pen

Who posted of geese in a den

But tragedy struck

It was a pine cone she mistook

And so tumblr revolted in the end

[penandinkprincess]

THIS IS NOT A CREATIVE WRITING CLASS

[too-many-blorbos]

My name is pen

And wen I see

A babey goose

I squeal with glee

But wen I share

This joy of myne

Tragedy strikes

Is cone of pine

[imperiuswrecked]

I call upon the fan fic writing gods to bless you with the perseverance to finish one of your unfinished drafts. 

May your fingers dance along the letters upon your device with ease, may the devil of distraction stay far from you, and may your work not need much editing.

I pass this blessing upon every fan fic writer out there.

[grumpygreenwitch]

As it came to me I give it to you.

[remanence-of-love]

[killjoystrays]

have you ever written fanfiction

yes

no

Voting ended onMay 2, 2024

i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

[killjoystrays]

almaost twre…

[rileyh20]

We got this

[geekandmisandry]

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

[neverblogidly]

Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents

[geekandmisandry]

[geekandmisandry]

I’m dying. People are reblogging this asking if the Shrek meme is an explanation and I cannot stress enough: YES.

I love that people think this is a scary sounding story. But when I wrote it down I was trying not to laugh and wake him up.

We regularly RPG, he is a dramatic theatre kid and a DM who often does a lot of dramatic, silly voices. I think he was just in some kind of character in his sleep and tried to pull in some new character like that was the problem when I questioned him.

Don’t get me wrong, those who think it is scary thrill me. Because I could never have even envisioned it was a scary story to some people, that it would freak them out, because I was also well used to this by now.

So yes, no demons, no other personalities, just the many faces of a theatre kid.

[is-this-plural]

“Just”?

[aphroditestummyrolls]

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻

[aphroditestummyrolls]

If you could help me spread awareness about this by reblogging, I’d really appreciate it.

[roastedmoose]

I’ve had this post on insta saved for sometime ❤️

[urban-bike-cryptid-deactivated2]

[Text Description: “Hey! Reminder: Eskimo is a slur. It means ‘snow eaters’ in Cree and is a slur against Inuit . Also don’t use ‘Eskimo kisses’. It’s called Kunik. It is a greeting mostly used for family… Kunik was how I’d greet my mom and grandmother as a small child.” /TD]

[vickytokio]

Rebloging for the awareness and especially for the alternative words

[anarchopuppy]

And so people who are just learning this now know the proper usage: “Inuit” is plural. The singular is “Inuk”, as in “he is an Inuk”

[jaubaius]

Changeover🔊

[alexaloraetheris]

First, you think the bird is a fool.

They you realize the bird is smarter than you and actually checked first.

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

Source: Mehdi Alibeygi

[rumze]

@todaysbird

[alexseanchai]

huh, the full video is almost two minutes long, and what got cut was entirely title and credits:

[atepa09]

Reblog for the full length one… because you know heaven forbid people credit artists for their hard work that made us laugh or smile.

[simstrouble]

Loredana Hairstyle by simstrouble

Base Game Compatible

24 Swatches

All LODs, Hat Compatible, All Maps, 9k polycount

Bangs Overlay found in Face Paint: 24 swatches + Color Wheel

Butterfly Clips found in Lip Ring, 12 swatches

Download (Patreon, Free) | Instagram | Pinterest

[metis-metis]

So ‘Sisyphus’ was trending on Twitter and it was just Classics jokes!

[pomrania]

[Image description: twitter screenshots. Transcription follows.]

I had this joke about Odysseus, but it took, like twenty years to get to the punchline.

I had this joke in mind about the death of Hector but I didn't want to get dragged.

I've got a joke about how Theseus escaped the labyrinth. Thread:

I had a joke about Leda, but it might ruffle some feathers.

I had a joke about Medusa but I'm too stoned to remember it.

I used to tell a joke about Icarus, but it never landed right.

I used to tell a joke about Orpheus but looking back it was a dead dud.

I have a joke about the ship of Theseus, but it's not original.

I used to tell a joke about Odysseus and the Cyclops, but Nobody got it.

[End description.]

[coffee-and-manslaughter]

+more from the comments

[karrasyne]

arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say

[twofingerswhiskey]

reblog if you hate the current interior design trend of painting everything white with hints of grey or black. ignore if you have no taste

[formalfry-deactivated20250608]

quick jurassic park thing between comms again because i’m finally getting out of a horrific art block and i had to get this one out of me. figured tumblr would like this one too.