Wick's Blog Of Wickedness @wickwoemaiden - Tumblr Blog

I stopped having celebrity role models ever since ringo starr told me to fuck off when I was 11 that experience was very formative I can never trust another beatle

rcktpwr

did he really

catzgba

God it really did and Im so pissed because I cant even tell the story because it sounds so everyone got up and clapped

rcktpwr

you GOTTA tell me this story maude i must know

catzgba

Well I’m not really used to telling this in text form so I’ll do my best but basically when I was 11 I idolized the beatles and like collected their records and cds, read all their autobiographies, had pics of them hanging ovr my bed and shit… yeah yeah it was a more naive time. But basically since my mom knew I loved them she pulled some of her vegas strings for my birthday and got me into the premiere of the beatles cirque de soleil show. see it, think its kinda lame but too starstruck to care, we get to go to the afterparty and there he is, the man himself, Richard Starky or whateverthefuck…. so naturally I FLIP and go omg ringo youve shaped my young life please can I have a picture w you

And the dude, like. Turns around. And does the most fucking cartoon villain laugh I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, puts his hands over his stomach, takes a deep breath and makes this noise thatd Id describe as Santa Claus mixed with Bowser. And looks me right in my horrified eyes and goes, “No.”

Like, I dont know what to say at this pt. I’m 11, my self esteem was pretty damn low, its not really registering to me that one of my childhood heroes is a fucking DBZ antagonist, instead my first instinct is that I did something wrong or I’m just so damn ugly the very sight of me deeply offended Mr. Starr, so even tho Im starting to cry a bit I awkwardly laugh and apologize for the intrusion. And the dude. He just gives me the smuggest “Yeah, thought so” look ever. And gestures to the other side of the room and goes “fuck off, kid”. Then turns around and resumes his conversation about the finer points of Microsoft paint as a modern art medium or whatever topic I imagine dominates the conversations of such an influential celebrity

But like, and this is the most fake sounding part of it, Julian Lennon (johns son from his first marriage, I think hes a photographer or something) saw all this happen. And like, stands there and comforts me for like 15 minutes. I’m ugly sobbing so loudly at this point, he just like gives me a kiss on my head and says things are gonna be ok. I ask him if I did something wrong. He tells me this happens all the time, the dude just really hates kids and kinda people in general. That raised so many questions for me. Is this a regular occurence? Has he comforted other kids who have had their hearts cruelly ripped out by the menace known as ringo starr, or possibly the other slightly less assholish beatles? Like, he seemed like he was so used to it.

Yeah, I threw out all my beatles shit after that. But thanks julian lennon for stopping me from becoming a supervillain hellbent on destroying the entire nation of britain for good. What a dude. I should check out his photos.

rcktpwr

holy shit

cherryaire

Visit Original Link

I didn’t know I needed Dan Avidan singing Wham! until now.

fuck-customers

Fuck Shoplifters

Today at work I spent two hours doing inventory adjustments for my department. The process is essentially, count the number of a product on the shelf and see if it matches the number the computer says we have, then change the computer number to the correct amount. One or two items missing is normal. Stuff gets miscounted or the wrong barcode gets scanned or maybe the tags fell off and we ring it up as something else. That’s just par for the course. 200+ items is not.

Today alone in just ONE department there was over $1200 of merchandise missing.

I’m going to get my butt chewed out because $1200 is missing from my department and I don’t know where it went. That’s $1200 that my store will have to cover. That’s $1200 that comes out of payroll budget, which is already way too thin. $1200 is almost exactly one months pay for one employee, meaning we will probably have to let someone go, because we are losing this amount on an almost daily basis.

Fuck you and your lame excuses. When you shoplift, it isn’t hurting the corporation. It’s hurting the employees.

When you shoplift it means that one of my coworkers won’t be able to pay her bills this month. It means she won’t be able to afford to eat every day. It means that my coworkers and I will have to find a way to sneak gas money into her purse so that she can get home.

It means that corporate is going to make us tighten security. We will have to purchase more cameras and more alarms and more tags, with money we don’t have, which means hours will get cut even more. It means we will have to participate in shrink prevention programs, like consenting to having our belongings searched before we leave because corporate still insists that most of our shrink is internal.

I can understand if you are stealing food because you’re hungry, or medicine because you’re sick. it’s still wrong, but I understand that and if I saw you stealing food or medicine, I would probably look the other way and pay for it myself.

But you can’t eat cosmetics, ok? You won’t die without lipstick. You won’t suffer because you don’t have Levi jeans. You won’t get sick because you don’t have a wallet & penknife gift set, you’re just being a shitty person.

Enjoy your $12.00 compacts you crudnuggets. I hope it’s worth our jobs.

sdijfisjijijaijdfij-deactivated

I’ve been ignoring chain mail for years and I haven’t been killed even a single time. what a ripoff

soapsy-deactivated20170822

what armour r u wearing

soapsy-deactivated20170822

wait

shubbabang

old-songs

shubbabang:

does anyone else get a stupid need to be productive when sick it’s like my own motivation wants me to die

stayingwoke

intergalacticsociety

But they aren’t documented so they wouldn’t be pa…..nvm

stayingwoke

This is a huge misconception for regular Americans. When the government uses the phrase “undocumented” they’re using it incorrectly because if they were truly undocumented then they would’ve be in system. However these immigrants are in the system and they pay taxes, file tax returns and get no benefits that citizens and legal residents get. They also get to see ICE showing up at their doors because the government has their addresses. Fun fact. “Undocumented” workers pays $12 billion dollars every year in taxes. https://www.google.com/amp/www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2016/10/06/how-much-tax-do-americas-undocumented-immigrants-actually-pay-infographic/amp/

flockof

Reblogging for info.

bemusedlybespectacled

“Undocumented” just means “without papers,” i.e. a social security card, valid visa, etc. They’re still on databases and whatnot, they just don’t have the documentation that allows them to reap the benefits.

bonusfries

so if it didn’t click- the government is aware of their presence and gladly taking their money under the table while simultaneously promoting the idea that undocumented people are a threat and encouraging hatred and distrust of them it’s super messed up, literally the scheme of an evil villain, and it’s really happening

uss-edsall

Washington State (not DC) is the only state in the union where you can legally have a fistfight with somebody (with police as referees) to settle your differences

metal-queer-solid

That should be a law all across the country.

cactus-1776

Fuck. Yes.

goodnightnautilus-deactivated20

@jooshbag ?

joosh-actual-deactivated2018092

This is tied to an archaic law that isn’t enforced anymore.

official-ginger-kid

So if you beat the shit out of someone they won’t do anything?

fedkaczynski

Oh no this is still enforced, and in fact we actually Have a few vigilante superheroes

Like Phoenix Jones who actually patrol the streets and challenge criminals, the police usually get called, and they watch as Phoenix Jones pummels them because Phoenix Jones is actually an MMA fighter.

and-other-things

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_Jones

This hero is real, he’s stopped attempted murders and sexual assaults.

kaldraws8280

A modern hero I love him

relsretiredblog-deactivated2018

GUYS YO IM FROM SEATTLE AND HE’S SUPER AWESOME!!! There was actually a “Super Hero League” here for a while which he led called the Rain City Superhero Movement, which was like 10 different heroes (with KICKASS NAMES like Red Dragon and El Cabellero and Prodigy and Green Reaper) with either military or mixed martial arts backgrounds and they would go around and help people out. Like they stopped some people pretending to be cops from robbing a blind man and helped apprehend a sex-offender but they also just did like super chill stuff like make sure people didn’t drive drunk or escorted them home. I also saw they did a lot of volunteer work. They’re disbanded now BUT Phoenix Jones is still working. One of his most recent jobs was a patrol at U dub aiding in finding the shooter during that Milo Yiannopoulos shooting.

He’s also a proponent for mental health and he’ll try and talk people down from violence by just like, chillin w them? And figuring out what they need help with.

The police think he’s nuts and don’t like him and he’s been arrested a few times, but from what I’ve seen he’s p much ALWAYS done as much as possible to help and do the right thing in a crisis and saved actual lives doing it so I think he’s legit as all hell.

deducemyheart

Ever wonder what the highest kudo’d work on ao3 is?

wonder no more.

deducemyheart

Seriously whatever you are expecting, this isn’t it.

nyxetoile

pop-rocks-and-skittles

I don’t know what to say…

katiehavok

…I’m speechless.

bonkerssus

leepacey

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

narcon9-deactivated20190103

That’s exactly the appropriate response.

myrosecolouredgirl

*makes fun of hot topic while in hot topic with the intention of buying something from hot topic*

sixpenceee

Different types of color blindness demonstrated

androginking

That time I played Never Have I Ever with Party Gays

cheeriomiomi

I AM FUCKING DYINGGGGG

aphroditesfever

IM LITERALLY CRYINGGG

vincenzo327

I AM DYING FROM LAUGHTER

lamaenthel

shoutout to paris hilton for not abandoning her ‘micropig’

when it turned out that it was a normal piggy who grew up to be a big fat fatty piggu

chupicronian

Actually that’s pretty standard size for a micro pig. Pigs are ENORMOUS, dude. The average pig on a farm is 7 feet long and over 700 lbs. A normal pig would be much bigger than Hilton.

EDIT: This is a photo of the world’s smallest recognized breed of pig, the kune kune. I’m sorry cartoons lied to you all.

This is the pot bellied pig, another famous “small” breed.

This is your average adult pig.

catbountry

Big ole’ pigs.

kamiyu910

Wild boars can feed people for a very long time! I believe this one was 1800 lbs. (largest piggy ever was about 1,984 lbs)

annabellioncourt

I NOW KNOW WHY WILD BOARS WERE SO DANGEROUS IN THE DARK AGES HOLY SHIT; RICHARD III I TAKE BACK ALL THE TRASH I TALKED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE CREST GOOD GOD THAT’S TERRIFYING.