Yes, thanks for reminding me about it. WOW it’s been a while... I got completely distracted. I’ll try to post the last chapter I finished today, and get to writing some more. I might stop doing the podfic versions, though, at least until fall when I can record easier.
i genuinely encourage non black people to engage with this, who might be worried they can't because of the word "nigga" because they feel like it's overstepping. the only way it would be overstepping is saying it to me when ur not black, but please don't be afraid to engage with black art.
i kinda get annoyed when non black people police other non blacks on how to engage with black culture because it creates a problem where non black people avoid us all together which can be extremely isolating and create even MORE tension and overall being uneducated.
My secret santa gift for @willowthegraycat! Happy holidays! I don't usually write much, but I felt like your prompt fit more as a fanfic than art, so I did my best <3 Hope you enjoy!
Summary:
The first time Candace came around Vanessa's place and boarded the building's elevator, it kept repeating the bossa nova version of her brothers' stupid one-hit-wonder song. Even though, for her, it happened almost a month ago, she still vividly remembered rolling her eyes and groaning in annoyance.
The music playing now was different.
She would do anything to hear that stupid song again.
or
Last day of summer AU where explaining things to Isabella, Baljeet and Buford was taking too long, so Candace decided to ask someone else for help in bringing her brothers back and fixing the time continuum.
Word count: 2492 || AO3 Link
---
Candace Flynn was used to the weirdness.
It came with the territory, she assumed, being the sole victim of the mysterious force surely brought a lot of bizarre circumstances her way on the daily basis. Big, obnoxious inventions disappearing in a cloud of smoke, turning into bread or straight up getting up and dancing away.
It's like the universe did everything in its power to keep her mother from seeing what Phineas and Ferb were doing, and it always made sure that she sounded as crazy as possible when trying to explain it.
So yeah, she was used to weird, unexplainable things happening just to spite her.
That's why when Vanessa's dad's weird do-over invention worked and her last day of summer started anew, she didn't even think it was that out of place. In fact, it was one of the greatest things that could've happened to her.
Maybe now she could be the one to spite the mysterious force instead! She had another chance at busting her brothers, all she had to do was avoid her previous mistakes.
And then when that second chance failed, mysterious force coming on top yet again, she somehow got another. And then another. And then yet another.
It must've been almost a month worth of chances by now.
Don't get her wrong. Candace has always been incredibly persistent. She would repeat this day into oblivion if it meant finally busting Phineas and Ferb once and for all. There was only so many ways for the mysterious force to get rid of this one specific invention.
Though sometime around day 10, she started wondering. Even if she finally managed to get their mom to see, would it even matter? Wouldn't the day just keep repeating itself anyway? Would she just have to redo the perfect bust formula until it stopped?
Would it ever stop?
She decided she'd cross that bridge when she got to it.
Unfortunately, when the loop count got to somewhere up in the 20s, her plan got re-routed to another, way worse bridge. Finding out about items disappearing into weird rifts — forever to be forgotten by everyone but her — was worrying enough.
The rifts taking her brothers away was downright terrifying.
Ice cold dread filled her when she heard her mother ask who Phineas and Ferb were. Candace tried to explain it to her, but the woman only laughed at her "creativity", quickly dismissing any of her concerns, making her cringe every time she restated that Candace never had any brothers.
When she went to her dad, frantically screaming about time-loops and fruitlessly hoping that maybe he would come to his senses, the man only gave her a sympathetic smile.
"Ah yes, I remember my first existential crisis," he said, "it all sure feels futile at times, but you shouldn't let the monotony get to you, darling."
It was safe to say that her parents were proving to be very unhelpful.
She needed to get Phineas and Ferb back. She needed someone to help her fix this entire mess before more people got sucked into these rifts. Which was why, as the newest loop started, she was immediately bounding out of her bed, avoiding the little roller skates for the nth time, not even bothering to switch out of her pajamas this time.
Candace spent almost all of the previous loop trying to convince her brothers' friends to help her get them back. Baljeet even believed her too! He was in the middle of a long-winded spiel, explaining all the physics behind the phenomenon and how Candace could be telling the truth, when the day reset yet again.
It really felt like the day was slowly getting shorter.
She definitely had to convince the kids faster this time. Somehow.
Leaving through the front door, Candace slightly squinted at the sun raising over the neighboring houses, which slowed down her steps for just a second. She sprinted out of bed so fast, she didn't really give her eyes the time to adjust to light after waking up.
It was weird to think that she hasn't seen the night sky since the evening before she turned on the Do-Over device. That was a month of constant sunlight, almost as if she was spending her summer in the uppermost northern parts of the continent instead. At this point she longed to see the beauty of a starry sky again. A solid proof of the time-loops ending.
She's done a lot of rash things in her life, but clicking the button on that device must've been in the top 3 at least. She should've listened to Vanessa's dad when he said not to touch it. The man definitely knew more about the consequences of using it. He probably predicted that this could've happened.
Candace suddenly stopped in her tracks, only a few feet away from the Garcia-Shapiro's doorstep.
Vanessa's dad.
He was bound to know his machine best. Perhaps even know how to stop this madness. Not to mention that he built the thing, explaining this entire situation to him could be easier and faster than explaining it to Isabella, Baljeet and Buford.
Taking one last glance at her neighbors' door, she quickly made up her mind and started sprinting back to her garage, ready to pull out her trusted bike and pedal all the way to the city.
Currently this might've been her best bet.
---
The first time Candace came around Vanessa's place and boarded the building's elevator, it kept repeating the bossa nova version of her brothers' stupid one-hit-wonder song. Even though, for her, it happened almost a month ago, she still vividly remembered rolling her eyes and groaning in annoyance.
The music playing now was different.
She would do anything to hear that stupid song again.
She rushed out of the elevator the moment the doors slid open. Approaching the Doofenshmirtz apartment, she tried to slow down and take a deeper breath. She tried even harder to not make her knocks sound too desperate.
It didn't really help much. Candace cringed a bit as her knocking came off more as pounding.
She stood there for a while in anticipation. They had to be home. There was no way she just wasted this loop coming here, only for them to not be home.
Right as she was moving her fist to knock again, she heard a muffled voice on the other side.
"I swear he never came in through the door even once, no one did," someone said and soon the door swung open to reveal Vanessa's dad. His lab coat was stained with something that Candace was almost certain could've been some sort of machine oil. He took a quick glance at her, before leaning inside and shouting. "Your little friend is here, pumpkin!"
"I NEED YOUR HELP!" Candace screamed frantically once she gathered her wits, making the man turn back around to face her with a raised eyebrow. She heard footsteps come from behind him before Vanessa appeared in the door way as well.
"Candace? What are you doing here?" she asked, scanning Candace up and down. "Did you come here in your pajamas?"
Looking down, she realized that she did in fact never change before coming here. She quickly decided that wasn't important at the moment though. She needed help and this was it. This was her moment to explain the whole situation without sounding even a little bit crazy.
Which was definitely something that was very much doable.
Candace took a deep breath, mentally preparing. She had a lot of time to think how to go about this on the bike ride here and she was sure she could pull it off. Yet before she could start her hectic recollection of events, Mr. Doofenshmirtz cut her off.
"Oh, you came because of the time-loop, right?" he asked casually, as if he was asking about the weather.
And that took her by surprise.
"That's perfect then!" the man continued, totally ignoring her confusion and rushing both of the girls deeper into the apartment. "We were just making the Time-Straighten-Out-inator to fix that. The more help the better. We're slowly running out of time."
"What?"
"We're running out of time!" the man repeated. "The loops are getting shorter, I was just telling Vanessa how I could explain it better with a napkin and a hook, but there's no time."
They came into the lab-looking space, the one where Candace first found the Do-Over thingy. The place was totally cluttered, a lot of metal parts, buttons, cables and tools littering the floor. In the middle of it all stood something that looked like a half-finished machine. Must've been what they were working on.
That's exactly when it hit Candace that Mr. Doofenshmirtz was already working on fixing this mess. She felt her eyes sting a little from the relief that flooded her. Knowing she wasn't the only one trying to make things right again surely made a big chunk of the weight come off of her chest.
(She wouldn't let the relived tears fall until she had her brothers safe in her arms though.)
Candace curiously glanced at the man as they approached the machine. He was still talking, hurriedly explaining how the machine was going to work in scientific terms that definitely flew over her head.
But once it seemed like he was done, she couldn't help but ask.
"So, have you been stuck in the time-loop too?"
Because if he was aware of it the entire time, why was he fixing it just now? Shouldn't he, as the responsible adult with scientific background, be doing that from the start? It has been almost a month of constant looping of this one single day.
A bit of dread settled back into her stomach when she realized that the man might've in fact been trying all this time and haven't gotten anywhere yet.
"How else would I know about it?" he asked, but then he seemed to give it a bit more thought. "Okay, well, maybe now with all these rifts and stuff, I could've like… figured it out somehow. But I don't really scan for inter dimensional anomalies on the daily, I don't know who would even do such a thing-"
"Dad."
At Vanessa's annoyed tone, the man paused and sent his daughter a sheepish smile. "Right, right. No time. But yes, I've been stuck in the time-loop too. I was using it to become the Tri-governor, but no worries, I'm trying to be a good guy now, so I'm going to fix it."
"You didn't try to fix it before?" Candace asked, half relived, because it meant this wasn't some unimaginable, impossible task, but also half irritated that he would let it run for so long.
Before Mr. Doofenshmirtz could answer though, Vanessa turned her attention to Candace.
"You didn't come here and ask to fix it sooner either," she said.
"Yeah, okay, fair," Candace sighed, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed and crossing her arms defensively, "I thought this was my chance to finally bust Phineas and Ferb."
Vanessa raised her eyebrow. "Phineas and Ferb?"
"My brothers. You don't remember them, because they got sucked into one of those weird rifts…"
"Man, I wish my brother got sucked into one of those," Mr. Doofenshmirtz cut in. He was already half focused on the machine, fiddling with its wires. "If we had more time I would totally try to make that happen and get him stuck in there forever."
"Dad!"
"I'm just saying!"
Vanessa sent Candace an apologetic look. The gossiper part of Candace's brain was a bit curious as to what the story was with Mr. Doofenshmirtz's brother, but they had no time to waste on that. Her brothers were the priority right now.
"Okay so…how can I help?" she asked, turning to the half finished machine.
She wasn't as good at building weird inventions as Phineas and Ferb, but she sure knew how to handle a screwdriver when needed. Mr. Doofenshmirtz was happy to see that he didn't need to monitor her at all times and could instead focus on the main gist of the machine instead.
So there she was, in yet another weird situation, helping her friend's eccentric dad fix the universe, while still in her pajamas.
And when a few minutes later her pet platypus jumped in through the window, revealing to be a secret agent all this time, Candace thought that this might as well just happen.
Her life was so incredibly weird sometimes.
---
In the end they weren't able to finish the machine in that loop and had to restart again one more time. It did go a lot smoother then, since Candace already knew more or less what needed to be done and could help more efficiently.
They also didn't waste as much time on talking and explaining different things.
Perry was extremely confused the second time around, when he saw Candace in that lab and she only casually greeted him without even pausing the work. It made her snort a little bit as she thought about it now.
She was currently sitting at the window seat in her room, Perry just left her to go sleep in the boys' room. Candace had a feeling he felt horrible for forgetting their existence earlier. He's been glued to their side more than usual ever since they came back from DEI, only leaving them for a few minutes to have a proper conversation with Candace.
That left the girl alone in her room, staring out the window at the stars shining brightly in the sky. Oh, how she missed them.
Not as much as she missed her brothers though, of course. The moment Dr. D's machine was turned on (after Candace pointed out that he needed to plug it in first), she immediately ran back home and squeezed the life out of her brothers.
Apparently they were trying to find a way to get back from within the rift too, she found out. She explained her side of the story as well, apologizing profusely for letting that happen.
(She left out the part about their pet being an agent for now though, per Perry's request.)
They spent the rest of the evening together. Candace was still scared that the day would suddenly restart again, but as the sun set and the evening breeze finally rolled into the backyard, she calmed down. None of the loops ever lasted this long.
She was concentrated on a very flickery star, wondering if it could be a plane instead with how it seemed to move, when she heard a soft knock from behind her.
She turned around right as her mother opened the door, smiling gently.
"It's time to go to bed, honey," the woman said, "you need to be well rested. Remember it's the first day of school tomorrow."
Ferb was raised in a small village in the Pinky Kingdom, learning how to be a warrior with a deadly focus. His stoic nature allowed him to master this skill. He had a pet platypus named Perry, who one day saved him from attacking bandits. Ferb was surprised that his pet was capable of fighting, as he had always assumed he didn't do much. He bonded with Perry as his animal companion. The bandits were part of a large group that destroyed the small village Ferb grew up in. So Ferb and Perry set out, headed for the castle to report what had happened.
Isabella grew up as a princess in the Pinky Kingdom. She learned magic from her tutor, and when he died, she inherited his magic spellbook, allowing her to continue to hone her craft. However, one day, on her coming of age birthday, enemy soldiers from the Biff Kingdom invaded, taking over control of the castle. Isabella managed to escape with the help of two of the soldiers.
Baljeet grew up in the Biff Kingdom, born to a family that worshipped the deity Pelor. They would go to his temple every day. Once Baljeet had come of age, he was blessed by the deity and became a cleric. However, this joyful moment didn't last long, because Baljeet was soon recruited by the army of the Biff Kingdom, and forced to aid their soldiers on raids, healing their injuries so they could commit even more atrocities.
Buford was born in a small town in the Biff Kingdom. He always had a short fuse, and one day he discovered a powerful rage within him that exploded out, making him a powerful fighter. He was recruited by the Biff Kingdom's army soon after discovering this. He befriended a cleric named Baljeet in the army, and when they were tasked with taking over the Pinky Kingdom castle, the two of them helped Princess Isabella to escape.
While escaping, the three of them ran into Ferb, who was headed to the castle to report the invasion of his small village. They told him what had happened, and Buford added that the bandits who attacked the village were likely there because of the Biff Kingdom's invasion. The four of them decided to plot to take back over the Pinky Kingdom and defeat the Biff Kingdom, whom they all had a grudge against now.
Just then, they ran into a bard wandering through the woods. Her name was Candace, and she explained that she was on her way to the Pinky Kingdom's castle because she was hired to play for the birthday of the princess. Isabella revealed herself as the princess, and Candace vowed to help restore her to the throne as well.
"Now, I think we can stop here," Phineas said.
"What? But we just started!" Candace complained.
"Well, today was just about making our characters. Ferb's a ranger, Isabella's a wizard, Baljeet's a cleric, Buford's a barbarian, and you're a bard! You all have a backstory now, so we're ready to start again next time we play."
"It did take a while to make our characters," Baljeet said.
"Yeah! And now that we're settled on the setting for the story, I can actually write it!" Phineas chimed in.
"Wait, you didn't have a story in mind yet?" Buford asked.
"I had a few ideas, but the story is going to unfold based on your character's actions. I wanted to wait until you'd decided where you came from before writing the rest. Now I know the story is going to be about a group looking to take back the throne! What an exciting concept." Phineas grinned.
"This game is silly," Candace said.
"I thought you wanted to keep playing?" Phineas asked.
"I do! That doesn't mean it's not silly, though. I mean, Perry fighting bandits? What was that about?"
"In the world of DnD, a platypus does do much." Ferb commented.
"Besides, we couldn't leave him out of the story," Phineas beamed.
"Well, if we're done here then I'm going to go see if Jeremy's still free to go to the mall," Candace said, standing up. "Same place tomorrow?"
hey btw to every Black transmasc who has reblogged this and said something to the effect of "hey this is me" in the tags. i love you. i can't describe the joy it makes me feel to read that. you are so fucking precious to me. please live. i love you. please be kind to yourself. i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you.
- Created a remote alternate dimension controller (like he knew they would need it 👀)
- Knew enough about Normbot anatomy to reprogram one mid-flight over lava
- Showed little to absolutely no surprise at Perry's secret identity, even making quips about it as if it doesn't bother him at all
- Jumped with NO HESITATION across half the city and used PLUNGERS to climb over like twenty floors with pinpoint accuracy
- "Is anyone else here living a bizarre double life?" *raises hand*
I haven't watched the movie in a hot minute Im sure there's more evidence but like 👀👀👀 all of this seems to lead to the fact that he's lived this before that he Knows what's going to happen and isn't surprised by it anymore
Hey guys! I never have the energy to do anything for these kind of things, but I HAD to do something for the superhero day!
I've always loved the fact that Candace is a superhero nerd, so I had to do something with that! Here is a darker story with these characters where a more... Interesting Marvel crossover is proposed. Hope you enjoy, as I am hoping to write it properly one day!
(The following excerpts from a future fic contain some dark elements, specifically: Torture/Experimentation, Kidnapping, Graphic violence, Blood, Misogyny, Depression. Reader discretion is advised)
(Note: Since PNF S5 has retroactively made it that the show is set in 2025, with 2024 being when the first 4 seasons happened, then AYA Candace would be basically starting off as a lawyer around the age of 24 at 2032, hence the dates used)
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31ST, 2032.
It's morning at Swamp City, Danville's ugly twin. When you wake up to the melodious music of the trains and subways from above and below you, your nose is blessed with the stench of trash receptacles overflowing with expired food and waste. When I open my eyes, I'm greeted with a worn down apartment building that also serves as my law firm office. The plaster is peeling off, as if it can't wait to move out too, and I swear the bed's made of concrete.
But you can bet your ass I ain't leaving.
Anyone who knows me knows that I don't leave a job unfinished. Sisyphus was a sissy. If I was there, that rock would learn its place. Besides, what's the point in a life goal if it's EASY?
Of course, taking care of an entire city's debilitating addiction to crime is a step up from busting your brothers. But what can I say?
I like a challenge.
I'm already in my emerald green pantsuit and working through my 5th cup of coffee when my partner, Jenny Brown, enters hurriedly through the door. It would seem her alarm was late. 'And she makes her grand entrance.', I quip, smirking a little at her. What's the use in a friend if you don't fuck with them a bit?
'Lock me up and throw away the key.', she jokes back, smiling sheepishly, clearly grateful that I didn't lambast her. No time for that. We have a job to do.
'You sure this Doctor Ditto is our guy?', she asks me as we enter the courtroom that day. I swear it gets greyer every day. Maybe it's just me. Maybe my vision's getting darker.
'As sure as I am that platypuses don't do much.', I reply, clutching onto my suitcase. Inside it were papers that could save so many innocent lives. Innocent lives experimented on by...
'Doctor W. Ditto...', the judge calls out the doctor's name, as he stood in the witness stand, smiling an ugly sort of grin, the kind that you know has preyed on dozens of victims. The kind you just want to... Wipe off.
Preferably with some blood.
It has been a few hours, and despite my mounting evidence stacked against him, Dr. Ditto has managed to convince them with a simple yet terrible sentiment: those women were mentally ill. He was just... Fixing them.
People will buy anything, especially when it's gift wrapped in fear.
'We are sorry to have wasted your time. Clearly, Ms. Flynn-Fletcher's case was unfounded from the start. She will be best reminded of her minor status in this town.', The judge reprimands me, stares at me like I'm the one on trial.
Maybe I am.
After all, I'm letting a monster go.
'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I don't mean to cast false aspersions. I know that the doctor before you seems a reasonable man. But I can tell you that behind every reasonable person...', I finish my final statements, knowing that tomorrow he will be released, knowing that I only have tonight to stop this. I stare him dead in the eye, and for a moment, from my red sunglasses, I wonder if he sees who I really am.
'There's a devil in disguise.'
It's night, and everyone's in costume, wiling the hours away. They think it's just a fun game, dressing up. Putting on a mask.
But I put on a mask every morning. I only get to remove it at night.
Only now I breathe in the city air... And I am born again.
As I scale the rooftops, free of the shackles of my occupation, I recall how it began. I recall my mentor, Mr. Matthew Murdock.
He too seemed a reasonable man. He'd joke with you and see the humor in everything despite his lack of sight. One would have thought, for all his professionalism, that there wasn't a violent bone in his body.
But as I learned two weeks ago, I was deadly wrong about that.
Matthew Murdock was more than just another lawyer: He was the thin red line keeping this damned city sane.
He... Was Daredevil.
The Devil of Swamp City.
But why do I say "was"?
Because two weeks ago, he took one beating too many. He was lucky to be alive when I saw him in my apartment, his blood mixing in with the color of his costume. 'It's gonna take me a long time to get back from this.', he said, hand on my heart. 'They're gonna need another devil... Someone who can't handle seeing injustice. Someone like you, Candace.'
I rejected him at first, of course. How could I? It was an impossible challenge.
But he was right. I couldn't handle seeing injustice. I knew that I could win my court cases against the city with a little extra persuasion.
Perhaps... Perhaps I knew that inside me there was a devil too.
One tired of being told I was blind when I could see it right in front of me.
Once I enter the building, I see it, what I knew was true no longer just words and pictures on a document: There are the women, kidnapped from the psychiatric hospital. No one cares enough for them to see what this doctor was doing. Why would they? They're disposable, after all.
To all... But me.
Because I know what it's like to not be believed.
Silent as a shadow, I enter the room, ready to pounce.
But the temptation is too great. I need to rub it in.
I need to see him wince before I destroy him.
And so, just before he can stab one of them in the skull, as he laughs like a maniac, I whisper...
'Busted.'
Have you ever been stabbed in the shoulder? It's not a pleasant sensation, I'll tell you that.
But it's worth it when I get to knock his jaw out of place.
It's so worth it when I get to smash my new billy clubs into his chest.
It's... Too worth it, when I shatter his nose and spray myself with his blood. I can't help but feel a rush. A release.
For what? I fear to find out.
But he's down, and he's been found next to all these women. Once I show this video to the court, they'll do what must be done.
Just like I did.
As I stare down at the police cars entering the place from my perch atop a building, I wonder if I can stop all the tragedies here. There must be a million a minute. What can one woman do?
'...Guess I'll find out.', I whisper to myself, red helmet obscuring all but my grin. This city is an impossible task...
But Candace Flynn loves impossible tasks.
PuddleCat @willowthegraycat - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag