"Winning" Customers

Retail crap

[winningcustomeroftheday]

The customer who is the worst is in the store today. If she spots you, you absolutely will not get away without stupid questions being thrown at you first.

She spotted my shoulder peeking out around the corner and I thought she didn’t see me, but then as I walked back to my stock cart I heard “EXCUSE ME!” From around the corner.

When I turned around, she was at the end of the aisle staring at me. I had done a full 180 to look directly at her, waiting, and all she did was stare at me... and stare at me... and stare some more. So I finally said “yes??!?”

She walked practically up into my face before asking “this isn’t a die cut, but it says Sizzex, is it on sale?”

But she wouldn’t show me the package. So I replied “I have to look at the sale sign; that’s not my department.” All the while, I’m thinking “lady, you KNOW that isn’t my department. You went two departments away to find me.” And my other thought is “you asked THIS EXACT SAME QUESTION last time you were in here!”

So I read the sale sign; which she could have done. I turn around, “yes it’s on sale. The only thing excluded on the sign are the machines.”

To which she replies, “what?” And I have to repeat myself. I have zero patients for this woman. The first encounter with her 3 years ago, she would NOT leave me alone and kept following me for two hours (I earnestly kept track of the time) while I was trying to order the scrapbooking department.

So I’ve tucked myself away to type out my frustrations and hope that she either patches into a coworker (sorry to whomever that is) or finally leaves.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

That’s how you’re supposed to work

I was in the middle of counting shirts for ordering today, when a customer came up to ask a question. Sure, no problem. Then she starts fumbling her words, doesn’t know what she’s looking for, and can’t describe it.

“Hold on, let me look it up.” She said.

Okay no problem, I enter what I had in my head into the tablet in my hand and then look back at her, waiting.

“Okay, it’s the lip gloss tubes.”

How fucking hard was that to remember?! Anyhow, I tell her that I heard a coworker say they’re with candle making, which shoukd be just a few aisles away from us. Mind you, I’m in the LAST AISLE OF THE STORE so it’s pretty fucking hard to get lost from that directive.

“Well, will you call your manager and have her look it up on the computer so I’m not walking all over the store?”

I had to stop from laughing. “We don’t have a layout of the store on a computer.” I tell her truthfully.

“You don’t?!” Uh, I don’t think I’ve ever worked anywhere that did...

I start walking and tell her “it’s just over here.” We walk literally 3 aisles and you can see candle making practically jumping out at you. I stop just before the aisle, gesture and tell her “it would be down here if we have it.”

She responds with: “THAT’S how you’re supposed to work.”

Which took me off guard and I replied with “uhm, excuse me??”

“You need to be nicer. Don’t scoff at me when I ask you to take me to an item. You need to be less rude to people...” and she kept going on about this imaginary noise she heard.

I blink at her, because what the fuck lady? I didn’t scoff, I literally walked you to the item THAT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY ASKED TO BE TAKEN TO! And said “here it is.” I responded to her with “I apologize, I did not mean to scoff if I did.”

Because... I did not fucking scoff. I might have licked my lips... but I don’t think that sounds like scoffing?? But whatthefuckever I hope I don’t have to deal with that lying fucktard again.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

“Ring me out, will you?”

I was called up front to help with a return without receipt. As I was attempting to locate the customer’s transaction in our computer system, an old lady who had cut in front of 4 other customers, calls out to me.

“Miss! Ring me out for these will you?” She motions to the three things in her hands.

“I’m sorry, but I’m currently helping another customer at the moment.” I replied as I went back to the customer I had waiting.

I turned around again not even 30 seconds later and saw the woman quickly walking out the front door. I checked with my cashier who’d been next to me, to make sure she’d left her items and hadn’t just walked out with them. She left them.

As my cashier was finishing with the customer he’d been ringing up, the old lady set her stuff down and stormed out instead of waiting the 30 seconds it took him to tell the other lady “have a good day.”

[winningcustomeroftheday]

‪dearcustomer on phone “do you sell blue flowers?”‬

‪Me “in a wide variety, yes”‬

‪DC “well I need them the size of my hand and with matching ribbon”‬

‪Me “we have both in a variety. I cannot list them all over the phone. You’d have to come in and look.”‬

‪DC “but I need ‬them in blue and the size of my hand.”

Me “yes. And we carry those. In an assortment of different flowers and ribbons. You have to come in to find exactly what style you’re looking for.”

DC “well I guess I’ll have to make the LONG DRIVE out there then.”

No shit, lady. The fuck have I said repeatedly? I don’t know if you’re looking for daisies, roses, tulips, mums... shit we have half an aisle of just blue flowers! And half as many shades and types of blue ribbon! Get your lazy ass off the couch and walj your butt down the aisle yourself. We are not your personal shoppers.

And chances are, if you’re like the rest, your idea of a “long drive” to our store is 10 minutes from the bordering city.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

“But they’re macrame!”

From across the store, I heard the fabric bell being spastically rang. Before I could put down the two items in my hands, it went off another half a dozen times. Thinking “oh great, here we go...” I walked over there.

I wasn’t even all the way to the lady before she starts speed-mumbling what she’s looking for. I blink at her and reply “I’m sorry but I didn’t understand a thing you just said.”

She stares at me dumbfounded like “how could you not understand that?” For a minute before repeating her question. “I’m looking for tea pins-they’re usually a macrame item and I’m not seeing any over there. They are usually with macrame.”

I had to ask “what are tea pins?” (I wasn’t sure what she meant, then again I was up half the night because of the local TORNADO warning and sirens).

She describes them and I know what she means. “Oh, yes those should be in aisle 52, over with floral supplies.”

“Floral?! You think they’re over there?! But they’re macrame! Don’t you carry them with macarame?”

“They are in with floral supplies. Aisle 52.” ...like I just fucking said, lady. Did I stutter?!

“But they’re macrame...”

“We keep them with floral.” I repeat again, and walked away.

Lady I don’t have time for your bull shit. I told you where they are. It’s not my fault if you don’t want to go look for them.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

"But it's folded in half!"

Customer wanted fabric, but didn't know how much. To anyone who hasn't seen fabric, it is always folded in half width wise on the bolt then sold by the yard length wise.

Customer: "how long is one yard?"

Me: -sents hands on each end of the mounted yard stick on the counter."

Customer: "okay, but this is folded in half, so that would be two yards, right?"

Me: "no, that is the width. The length is the yardage."

Customer: "okay. ...how long is a yard?"

Me: "36 inches."

Customer: "okay, but it's folded in half, so that would be double, right?"

Me: "no." -grabs fabric and turns it width wise on the table- "see? It's not a yard, so it is not two yards width wise."

Customer: -after a long pause- "okay. I want one yard."

...why do I feel she will be back complaining because when unfolded it isn't two yards?

[winningcustomeroftheday]

It's the same brand, lady

Customer was picking out a bunch of fabric, and halfway through cutting it for her, she went into panic mode and began checking them all to make sure they're all the "Patrick lose" brand. Then started panicking because there were red labeled ones and orange labeled ones. Because one was the "speckles" line, and one was the "festive" line.

Customer: what's the difference in the color labels?

Me: one's festive, the other is speckles.

Customer (panicking): are they complimentary?!??

Me: ...yes.

I didn't even have the energy to explain that she was asking about them being compatible, not about if the colors she chose went together or clashed. It's only been two hours we've been open today, I'm beyond caring already.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

Those aren't employees, ma'am.

There's only three of us working tonight, and one lady was on lunch. My cashier called for assistance up front, which usually means a manager so I headed up there. As I got up there (which took a minute coming from the back warehouse of our store), the cashier was calling next in line to be helped. The customer proceeded to complain to me about how there's only one cashier ringing people up (there was one lady ahead of her, and one behind who walked up as I did). Then the customer says "I heard a whole room of people in the back and you've got just one person on register!"

To which I was able to truthfully (and I'll admit, a bit of inner sadistic glee) respond "yes, ma'am. That's a knitting group that rents the room on mondays. Those aren't employees."

I was honestly shocked that the woman shut her trap after that. For once, a customer realized she was being dumb.

...

Don't assume things, people. Classrooms in craft stores are often rented out for classes, parties, and other various crafting groups.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

This isn't Taco Bell

I work at a craft store, and it has been chaotic today, day before Easter and all. And we also have a free craft going on. While passing the table of crafting, a customer stopped me and began yelling at me because Taco Bell (in the mall we're in) only has two people working today. I honestly couldn't find words to reply right away, I didn't understand why that had anything at all to do with me or my store? Finally I found my words and all I could come up with was "I'm sorry ma'am... but this isn't Taco Bell." When she started with "yeah I know, but..." and I just walked away.

Yeah, bad customer service, but this is the wrong establishment to be complaining at for that particular complaint.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

"Do you work here?"

I was carrying an endless basket (large baskets that clip into pegboard) down an aisle at my store moving the aisle around, and a man walked up and asked me a question. I didn't understand what he said and I said "I'm sorry, what?" And he looks at me and goes "do you work here?"

I wanted SO badly to reply "no. I just like moving their stuff around on them."

[winningcustomeroftheday]

I didn't give your kid diabetes!

A couple nights ago when I was closing the store, the last customer in had two girls with her. One stated she couldn't feel her legs. The mom told me the girl has diabetes and that she was sitting a moment while she ate something. I let the woman know that the girls could stay in the store (it was already past closing) and she could pull her car up to the curb since it was cold out. I told the woman that if need be, I'd be willing to get her a wheelchair so she didn't have to walk to the car either.

All the while, and when she came back in to get her daughter, the mother kept giving me the dirtiest looks as if I'd told her that it didn't matter what was wrong with the girl and they needed to leave immediately. I even left the doors open for them and offered to help in anyway and was met with dirty looks the whole time.

Was hard not to ask her "what is your fucking problem? I didn't give your kid diabetes!" ...but that is frowned upon in the retail world.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

Return Faux Pas

First let me clarify that our return policy is 60 days with the receipt and packaging. Now onto the story:

Last week a woman came into the store with a die cut saying that it didn't work and she wished to return it. The item was in a clear plastic package that had no barcode, no information, not even a brand name on it. She also said she bought it last year sometime, and that she didn't have a receipt for it.

Lady, you struck three and have lucked out. There's zero proof that you bought it here. Your membership card doesn't even show up in our transactions history on our server.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

Plaid Paint

I don't think this gentleman's brain was fully awake this morning...

He was looking for black fabric paint. I took him to the fabric paint/dye aisle and picked up the bottle of black fabric paint and handed it to him.

Man: "are you sure this is black?"

Me: "yes sir."

Man: "but it says plaid right here." He points to the label.

Me: "that's the brand name, sir. Here is the color; licorice, which is a black."

It wasn't until I walked away that I realized he thought it was a bottle of plaid colored paint.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

Over the last year and a half of working at a craft store, I have lost count of the number of times customers have legitimately come up to me in the middle of the store and asked "where is the craft section?"

I also admit freely that I have responded with "all around you."

[wtfretaillife-blog]

Bottle Returns Are Not Priority

Yesterday, I had to call my manager up to open on register because there was a line growing and I had a huge return to do. He punched in his numbers and called out “I can help the next person in line over here” The man who’d just walked in with a bottle return tried hopping in line first, and my manager apologized saying he had to help the person who’d been waiting next in line first. The grouchy man got in my line instead. In the mean time, by the time I’d finished up with the near-$200 return, my manager had finished all three of the people who’d been in line, and offered to help the man who was in my line.

“No, I’m next in THIS line. You helped that other man and he wasn’t next in line. I was!”

It took all of my willpower not to look at the old man and retort “bottle returns don’t put you at the front of the line, asshole.” But of course, I’d be fired for that. Even if I was right.

So I did the next best thing; I laid on the sweet kindness over-the-top so that it annoyed him because I was just far too cheerful for his foul mood to impenetrate.

(even if I really just wanted to hit him over the head with his empty bottles)

[thempress]

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

[bexlogic]

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

[winningcustomeroftheday]

You can't demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you.

[winningcustomeroftheday]

Spills and Breaks

This isn't a "winning customer of the day" but this needs to be said...

If you're in a store and you spill something or break something, please please PLEASE!!! Let an employee know! DO NOT just leave it.

1) spills can cause people to slip, fall, and even hurt themselves.

2) broken things, especially glass, are VERY dangerous. Children don't always pay attention, and I've seen more than just one small child get cut by broken glass because a customer broke something and just hid it back on the shelf.

Be respectful. Be considerate. And remember: USE COMMON SENSE!!!