Iâve been considering medical transition for some time and I am certain that I am acutely gender dysphoric especially in regards to my physical characteristics. I also believe that it has exasperated my anxiety and depression, and the thought of potentially being able to transition and alleviate my physical dysphoria is a largely comforting thought. However, do you think I should, or should I just try and cope with the depression? Not being antagonistic btw, Iâm just genuinely interested.
youâre welcome to ask me anything, my ask box is meant to be a place for people to bring tough questions, but i do want to make my biases clear; i very openly and obviously do not believe transition is the right solution to gender dysphoria. i believe is does more harm than good, both to the individual and the society in which the individual exists. i believe this from my own experience of transition/gender dysphoria and from critical thought/extensive research on the topic. so when you ask me whether you should transition or try to cope, after laying my biases on the table, my answer is try to cope.
you state youâve become certain you are acutely gender dysphoric--and please correct me if this next statement is off base, but--you say that as though thereâs such a thing as ârealâ or âtrueâ gender dysphoria (meaning itâs innate and will certainly be cured or helped by transition) and something that looks like gender dysphoria but gets misinterpreted and misdiagnosed (like whatever us detransitioners experienced). but thereâs not. thereâs no meaningful difference between my gender dysphoria and the gender dysphoria experienced by someone who transitioned and remained transitioned; the difference is how weâve chosen to deal with it.
this is not a popular or particularly kind statement, but i mean it in a purely factual sense--gender dysphoria is a mental illness. transition is one way to cope with it. in my experience and opinion, it is not the most effective way to deal with it and can also cause a lot of tangential harm (physical, mental, social, monetary, etc.).
gender dysphoria is a symptom in the way body dysmorphia is a symptom in the way paranoia is a symptom. itâs a mental condition that convinces the person experiencing it thereâs something wrong with the body when thereâs actually something wrong with the brain (or in the case of paranoia, convinces the person thereâs something wrong externally, with whatever the object of paranoia is, when the reality is thereâs something wrong with the brain). transition treats the body in the way dieting/starving treats the anorexicâs body dysmorphia in the way isolation/avoidance treats the paranoid personâs paranoia--all of these are external ways of coping with/mitigating/lessening the external manifestation (symptom) of an internal disorder (mental illness). and this is why transition helps alleviate the symptom of gender dysphoria! but it does nothing to address the root. and when the root remains unaddressed and intact, the symptom can always reemerge--at very least the symptom will always require active mitigation (transition and a trans identity require constant maintenance and the participation of others to substantiate--which is to say, others must also participate in the delusion that one is the opposite (or another) sex).
that got long. back to you and your question; at the end there, it seems like youâre conflating gender dysphoria and depression. these may be in concert with one another, encouraging one another, but theyâre distinct symptoms. you could very well pursue transition AND choose to cope with your depression in another way--and if you choose transition, you SHOULD address your depression independently. shit, you should treat the depression first, because thatâs not a life-changing, irreversible treatment like physical transition is.
having stated above what my opinion is and will always be WRT transitioning (donât--find another way to cope), i want to encourage you to figure out WHY you experience gender dysphoria in the first place and whether thereâs anything else you can do to cope with it before transition. whether you ultimately choose to transition or not, doing that, investigating your gender dysphoria, will have always been a good thing. maybe you realize you can cope and heal without transition or maybe you simply get a better idea of where your notions of gender come from (because, as gender is a social phenomenon, your ideas about gender and the resulting gender dysphoria is certainly not an innate characteristic) and that gives you a more certain place from which to begin physical transition. but whatever it uncovers for you, youâll be more informed and self aware heading into the next part of your life.
this is a hard place to be and i am wishing you luck, clarity, and strength. rooting for you, friend.
