suguru doesn't like when you call him a rebound. he fucks the words right out of your dictionary
-inspired by numb to the feeling by chase atlantic
a/n: help this isn't proof read in the slightest, just roll with it (no pun intended)
suguru was always quiet around you. a grumpy force where he sat by the drums during practice, fingers twirling his sticks, hair messy in their hold. you’d have thought he didn’t like you tagging along during band practice.
but that couldn’t be true. not when his eyes would glance at you every so often, stare burning to where you sat on your boyfriends lap while he rehearsed song lyrics.
the exposed skin of your legs through your black skirt tingled and when you realized that you were staring at him way longer than was deemed friendly, you turned.
“i’m gonna go catch yuki at her dorm before the concert,” you murmur in your boyfriend’s ears.
“okay,” he mutters, planting a weak kiss to the side of your mouth. his focus was on the songs, you tried to reassure yourself as you waved at the rest of the band members and made your way out the studio.
“i feel like he’s disconnected, yu.”
you’re face up on yuki’s bed, staring at the painted over mold on her dorm ceiling.
“what makes you say that,” she asks, hooping in her earrings, getting ready for the concert.
you tell her why. tell her that ever since you and him have made it official he’s stopped making the effort to see you. blaming it on practice or a spontaneous round of drinks with the band mates or, and you sigh when you say it out loud, he doesn’t have to see you everyday to be your boyfriend.
“you can’t be serious,” yuki glances up from where she was hyperfixated on swiping her mascara.
“he apologized a week ago, said something about stress with music deadlines and assignments. i feel for him, i do. but now i’m wondering if he even has what it takes to be in a relationship.”
you sigh. “i can’t believe i just said that out loud.”
“girl i cant believe you accepted an apology like that.”
sitting up, you fumble with the silver chain that dangles his initial. a gift when you guys had made it official a month ago.
“couples fight, yuki. what was i supposed to do? not try to find a resolution?”
she’s turned completely in her seat now, gaze settling and you’re almost frightened by how serious she looks.
“resoultion doesn't come from weak acceptance. it sounds harsh but my best friend is being hurt by this dickbag and you’re letting it.”
your lips thin. “i’m not letting anything happen. just wanna see if he’s worth fighting for.”
you glance out the window, the sky dark with the promise of the first thunderstorm of the summer.
suguru can still see the image of you perched on the band singer like a photo burned in his mind. can still smell the waft of your perfume as you warmly waved your leave. bracelets jangling in the familiar sound he’s grown to associate with only you.
your boyfriend is a dick. plain as that. not even man enough to see the perfect attention he’s ignoring to read fucking lyrics instead.
suguru knows how you bring him lunch every practice to make sure your scum boyfriend doesn't forget to eat. occasionally you’ll bring something for the whole band because you care.
they all love you in a little sister way. though it doesn’t seem like it, suguru does too. likes that you care about others. that even when you're dressed in your usual dark skirt and grungy tank top your smile makes you radiate like a bright, warm sun.
you’re radiating. it plagues everyone around you but him. because he almost can't forgive you for putting up with a loser like your boyfriend.
but it’s not his business, he reminds himself. breathing out through his nose, he tries to shake you from your mind, tries to focus on the music right in front of him.
it’s nearly successful but then you’re here again and there’s a blond girl next to you, making eyes at Choso who’s tuning his guitar.
you laugh at whatever your boyfriend says, hand clutching his bicep and something like jealous is nearly lurching suguru out of his seat.
then you're calling for him, that radiant smile that compliments your eyes just perfectly.
“suguru!” you’re leaning against the post and he’s keeping his calm gaze on your face and not on the way your mini skirt moves with every sway of your hips.
it strikes him that you were saying something that he was too distracted to even register.
“i said you’re gonna come to the after. gojo’s hosting it at the frats. you two are close, right?”
you’re grinning, teeth shining under the stage lights.
“then i’ll see you there.” you don’t give me a chance to refuse because you’re already walking backstage with the blonde who’s blowing a kiss at choso.
suguru glanced at the stage clock. It’s show time.
performing may be the one time suguru doesn’t think. not really anyways.
sure he’s thinking about his next moves, making sure he’s on time, and all the little automatic things that come from playing. but other than that his mind goes blank, the music his one and only guide.
it manifests alive in his body. head whipping. skin buzzing. fingers restless.
when the show’s over that high doesn’t just go away.
no, its like his mind is crashing. searching for whatever next fix can live up to what it feels like to perform on stage.
he’s usually safe when he comes to the frat parties since they really only serve alcohol and nothing stronger. but choso decided to come, which he never does, and there he’s standing by the kitchen pulling out a bag of blue caps to the same blonde friend you’d brought to the concert.
it doesn't take long to find you amongst the throng of people dancing and drinking and playing beer pong. almost like his eyes just automatically know where you’re at.
right now you’re perched on your boyfriend again like you were at practice. Skirts riding up your tempting thighs, hair free and unbound, and those sparkling bracelets glittering under the bright strobe lights.
you’re laughing at what the group is saying and you might have had one too many drinks because you clumsily spill it all over your tank top.
suguru can read your lips from here. fuck.
you’re standing, heading for where he knows the bathrooms are just right down the hall and it takes all his will not to follow you there.
as much as you plague his mind, he’s not a homewrecker. wants nothing to do with anyone’s messy relationships.
“she okay,” gojo says coming up besides him.
suguru glances at him, sipping from his solo cup as he feigns confusion.
the white haired boy’s eyes shimmer with amusement.
“the girl you were eye fucking.”
“satoru, must you be so crass.”
he grins, slings a lazy arm across suguru’s shoulder and brings his ear to his lips.
“and you need to stop living by the philosophy of being moral. doesn’t really suit you.”
and because satoru has known him his entire life, can read his best friend as clear a book, he taunts, “especially because i know you’re not exactly having moral thoughts about a taken woman.”
“you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“i know more than you think. i have eyes everywhere.”
satoru points his cup at the couch where your absence is missing.
“her boyfriend frequents the parties i host. he particularly loves this red head sorority chick when ever she’s not with him. caught them in toji’s bathroom hooking up.”
the admission runs like cold water over suguru’s blood. he almost expected it but now his best friend has just left, breaking the news left in his hands.
god, you were going to be crushed. but you deserved the truth, that much suguru knew.
“why didn’t you mention this earlier?”
satoru shrugs. “haven’t seen you in a while. i host and you don’t show up.”
“i’m sorry satoru. practice has taken most of my time these days.”
the white haired boy smiles, though it’s lopsided like something heavy is pulling its weight down.
“don’t sweat it, man. so you gonna tell her?”
suguru sighs, staring at the hallway you disappeared to.
“don’t think you’re being moral for telling her,” his best friend taunts. “you know you’re doing to for the slightest chance you have a shot.”
suguru grumbled to himself the entire walk through pressed bodies and kissing couples until he’s reached the bathroom you’re still locked in.
he stands there, gaze set on the little sliver of light escaping from the bottom of the door, your feet’s shadows there to assure him that it is you.
his hand is frozen in the movement to knock.
was he really going to tell you that your boyfriend has been cheating on you this entire time? did he really think you’d want to hear that from him, the bandmate of said cheating boyfriend?
and why did he fucking care so much if you got hurt?
fuck whatever satoru said. at the end of the day what he’d said was true.
you shouldn’t be with your loser boyfriend but suguru also knew you shouldn’t be with someone like him. impulsive, damaged, barely restrained despite constantly thinking morally good.
you deserve to know, yes, but not under the intention that he’d be the shoulder you cried on.
suguru pulled back, sparing one more glance at the shadow of your feet before he urged his own to start moving.
he knew better, he always did. it was like he had this moral function to always do the right thing.
currently, that function was malfunction and he wasn’t sure if it was because of you or what else. he knew that he didn’t want to think anymore. he wanted to relive the high he’d just had at the concert not even an hour ago.
he found choso immediately.
“ugh.” you curl your nose at the smell of your soaked tank top. no matter how many times you washed it in the sink with the hand soap and patted it try with the hand towel, the stench of beer wouldn’t come out.
you sigh, glancing at the mirror. you get the drunken thought that you could just wear your bralette as a top, it’s modest enough it could look like a scandalous outfit choice.
maybe if you were single you would have but for now you’d just have to endure the wet fabric long enough to see this party end.
with a quick fix of your hair and your lipstick, you unlock the bathroom door and head back to the couch you’d just left.
“did suguru talk to you?”
you turn catching sight of white hair and black rimmed circular glasses.
gojo. you don’t know him all that well, only occasionally seeing each other at his parties so what was he doing talking to you?
he sighs like that was not what he’d expected to hear.
“nothing,” he says, pushing the tips of his glasses up his nose. the reflection of the strobe lights bounce off the surface, nearly blinding.
“your boyfriends in toji’s bathroom.”
you furrow your brows, still shouting over the music. “who’s that?”
“doesn’t matter,” he turns you by the shoulders so you’re looking in the direction of the staircase. “take the stairs and it’s the last door on the right.”
you smile at him. “thanks!”
“no problem. but could you let me know if you see suguru anywhere?”
you throw a quick sure over your shoulder as you bound the steps, quickly reaching the last door like gojo’s instructions. you shake the handle. It’s locked.
“babe,” you shout though the music isn’t so loud up here and it comes out clearer.
you glance at the sliver of light leaking through the door, shadows moving across the floor.
“gojo said you were in here. you okay?”
“yeah,” he replies. “got sick from all the beer.”
you shake the handle again, not really sure why he’s not letting you inside. it’s not like you haven’t been there to soothe him through his hangovers before.
“who is she,” comes a second voice in there and the worst thought pops into your head.
“open the door,” you demand, relentlessly shaking the knob.
it flings open, a red head pushing past you so fast you can't make out her face.
but you turn, catching your very guilty boyfriends’ face.
“oh my fucking god,” you yell.
his mouth is stained pink, not the red shade from your lipstick. he doesn’t say anything, just stands there, mouth gaping, hands loose by his sides.
“fuck you,” you say before you’re leaving him alone.
you rush down the stairs, hands shaking. you’re so fucking upset with yourself for not realizing sooner. not listening to yuki when she’d first said upon meeting him that he didn’t seem good enough for you.
you try her phone, bring it to your ear. it just rings before going to voicemail.
you pass by the kitchen and immediately stop when you stop the blonde and choso in the corner. suguru is there too.
“hey you,” yuki says with blown pupils. “where have you been?”
“toji’s bathroom apparently,” you mutter rubbing your hands over your chilled arms. maybe it was the fact you were still in your wet tanktop or the discovery that you’ve been fucking a lying whore for a month now but goodbumps lined your skin.
“oh you met him,” choso asks, puffing from a blunt that’s looking all too tempting right now.
“no. just needed to clean up,” you lie.
for some reason you find yourself glancing at suguru who’s staring at you like he’s not sure you're real.
you blink, not looking away when you ask cho, “can i hit that?”
“since when did you smoke weed,” suguru says. you narrow your eyes seeing that his pupils are blown too.
“since you did whatever drugs have your eyes blown black.”
choso laughs, handing it over to you.
“i love when you’re feisty,” yuki smiles. “could save some of it for that boyfriend of yours.”
you inhale longer than you normally do, the mention of him leaving a sour taste in your mouth that has nothing to do with the weed.
when you blow out, it comes smoothly and you immediately change the subject.
the conversation eventually circles around how the band performed tonight. when they’re next gig is. the research study yuki is apart of under doctor yaga’s supervision. Even the trip you have planned for shibuya this summer.
you’ve been passing the blunt between yuki and choso, feeling suguru’s eyes burning against your side.
“should visit nonbei yokocho,” suguru says. you’re perched on the kitchen island, having made yourself comfortable a long while ago.
“second that,” choso huffs out.
“you’ve been,” you direct to suguru. he’s leaning against the counter, hair unbound and so soft you have the strange urge to run your fingers through it.
he nods. “for a gig a couple summers ago. it’s a lovely contrast from the chaos.”
you smile, legs dangling, hands placed atop the island edge.
“sounds exactly like something you’d like.”
“you’re always so collected,” you explain. “seems fitting you wouldn’t like chaotic things.”
he shrugs. “i prefer order. but there’s a balance to which we should surround ourselves in.”
is that a smile on his lips? your eyes linger on it, enjoying the way it curves against his lip ring, the way it softens his eyes.
you tilt your head as if only realizing just how beautiful he was.
“you should smile more,” you think out loud, too high to filter your words appropriately.
choso wags an agreeing finger. “i’ve been telling him since we were kids. dude for a while i really thought you just didn’t know how to.”
you laugh, light and airy. you can almost imagine it, little suguru, a boy who’s just as grumpy as he is today.
yuki’s whispering something in choso’s ears and you make eye contact with suguru again. Warm brown starting to leak back into their normal shape, high wearing off.
“babe,” yuki leans, “we’re gonna call it. do you have a ride back?”
“yeah,” you lie. “text me when you get home.”
the blonde smiles. “of course.” she turns a hard eye to suguru. “make sure she doesn’t get in trouble.”
“hey you think that little of me,” you pout.
“only of the people you surround yourself with.”
yuki playfully rolls her eyes, waving, “bye!” you don’t miss how she leads choso out, hand intertwined, the blushing boy with damn near hearts in his eyes.
“fifty bucks he tells her he loves her when they’re doing it.”
suguru arches an amused brow.
“choso wears his heart on his sleeve. not gonna make a bet where we both know the outcome to be true.”
you giggle. “let me guess: gambling isn’t a part of your philosophy.”
“money is of no value to me. what i want naturally has higher risks.”
it shouldn’t sound as intimate as it does. like you just perhaps asked what his deepest, darkest desires were. he’s looking at you like you in fact did ask that question. gaze heavy, jaw firm.
he’s quiet for a moment as if contemplating his answer before softly admitting, “something i can’t have.”
your heart pounds a bit harder. gone is the chill you were feeling earlier before, his voice, heating your skin just so.
“so your boyfriend gonna take you home?”
you cant help the lip curl of disgust at the mention.
suguru watches you carefully. “he do something to you?”
you rake a hand through your hair, pushing it so it all falls on your shoulder.
“only fuck someone that wasnt his girlfriend.”
“i’m sorry,” he says softly and you can tell he means it.
“it’s fine,” you shrug. “part of me was blind to what was right in front of my eyes.”
“come on,” he’s grabbing his keys where they’re hazardly placed by the toppling bottles of liquor. “let me take you home.”
something spikes in you when he says it. he sounds more caring in that sentence than your now official ex ever did in a month. you find that pathetic.
the thought it so irritating that it plagues you the entire car ride home. it’s silent the entire way but you feel the weight of it nearly suffocating you when you pull up to the address of your apartment.
“you shouldn’t be driving when you’re high.”
suguru has a hand still on the steering wheel even though he’s put the car in park.
you turn in your seat, facing him.
“that’s not helping your case. you can crash at my place,” you say, shouldering your purse. “my roommate’s out for the weekend anyways. you wouldn’t be a bother.”
“your roommate, huh. what about your ex? the guy i’m in a band with.”
you resist rolling your eyes. “what about him?”
“how would he feel knowing i spent the night with no one else under the same roof but you?”
“i don’t really care what he feels anymore actually.”
suguru’s quiet, you realize when he does that it’s because he’s thinking, testing out sentences in his mind before he voices them. you don’t like that he keeps so much to himself. and you don’t like that you wish you could hear it all.
“you’re looking for a rebound,” he says harshly.
you place your manicured hand on the door handle, glancing over your shoulder at the barely restrained look all over his face.
“tell me you wouldn’t jump into my bed if i asked you to.”
your keys are barely slotted in when the two of you crash against your front door. lips brutal, tongues harsh, and teeth biting.
it’s a kiss that feels more like a fight. a fight for entirely different reasons.
suguru cant believe it’s taken him this long to finally taste you. how long has it been since he’s wanted to kiss you? he knows it’s stemmed back when he first noticed you at one of his concerts, pretty smile and lips untouched before you even went on the first date with your ex.
fuck being moral, he thinks, when your making that desperate little sound in the back of your throat, when you’re clawing your fingers in his hair like you don’t want him to leave.
it’s clear you’re taking whatever emotions you have about the breakup out on him. nails digging. teething gripping on his lip. then you’re dragging him inside your apartment with such a strong force he’d have thought you hated him.
you two don’t even make it to the bedroom like you’d taunted, falling onto the empty couch in a flurry of hands and heated limps.
the shutters are still open, the only light coming from the full moon tonight.
suguru can’t help the growl he lets out when he cups your breasts still in your tanktop.
“off,” he demands, breaking from the kiss in ragged breaths that fill the empty living room.
you follow his orders, a sly grin on your red lips, gloss smearing in a way that makes you look so fucking ruined. a silent gift.
top is off, leaving you in your red bralette. then it’s your skirt that you're shimming your hips to pull down and suguru isn’t really breathing when you're in front of him in nothing but a matching set of red lacy lingerie.
“fuck,” he says outloud. you’re straddling you, placing a handle on his chest and forcing him so his back is against the couch.
“i will,” you promise darkly, fingers working to unbutton his jeans, tugging his boxers down just enough so his hard and leaking cock spring free.
your breath falters at the sight of him, small hand wrapped around the wide girth. you’ve got your eyebrows pinched together like you’re wondering if it’s going to fit.
shit, your fingers feel so good right now and you’ve barely done anything but grip. it takes a lot of restraint not to buck up into you, not to grab you by the hips and slam the entire length of him in one go.
your terms, he reminds himself with gritted teeth.
slowly you tease yourself with the tip, letting suguru feel just how wet and warm you are. his hands clench the arm rest and you smile when you notice.
“gonna fuck you nice and hard. my little rebound.”
suguru doesn’t like it, pushes up so he can kiss that word right off your mouth. but your hand is firm against his chest, panties pulled to the side, cunt wrapping around and then sinking down.
you both gasp at the penetration.
hands bunching the material of his shirt, you pick up your pace, ditching the idea of starting off slow entirely.
suguru grips your hips so hard he hopes you’ll wake up and find his finger shaped bruises etched into your pretty skin.
“mm so good,” you whine, grinding in a little circle at the base of where his cock is filling you.
suguru takes one his hands, fingers pulling your hood back so he can see the glistening bud of nerves winking at him. he circles it, mesmerized by where he’s stretching you out so full.
but then you moan, clenching down hard and he has to see the face you make. he can almost come from it: swollen lips parted, brow screwed together and eyes hazy and glassy as they peer down at him.
“don’t stop,” he says. “what? you need my help?”
he meets your thrusts, the force harder, deeper. it makes you shudder and he grins wickedly at you.
“keep fucking yourself on my cock, sweetheart. take it like a god damn whore.”
the slap reverbates through the air, catching suguru by surprise but fuck if he isn’t absolutely throbbing inside you.
you’re kissing him again, just as hungry, just as violently desperate as before.
the sound of both your hips meeting rings in the air, heavy breathes heating your skin until sweat forms at the top of your rolling spine.
“you’re so big,” you admit on a weak moan.
suguru’s hand pulls up fingers brushing against your pounding pulse point as he holds you by the neck.
“who’s fat cock are you taking, sweetheart?”
he pounds up into you hard, fingers clenching just an inch until your breath hitches.
“who’s hitting your god damn guts like i own this pussy?”
your control is gone, reduced to putty in his hands. your cunt swallows him with every grind, clit rubbing against his pubic bone and you’re arching your back, feeding into this hungry desire.
“suguru,” you answer, gasping, chanting, pleading. “fuck, you are.”
the pressure on your clit, the stretch of you around him, cock hitting you so deep. all of it is too much and your hips stutter with the stimulation.
“you said you we’re gonna fuck me nice and hard, right,” he asks, forcing your sensetive hips down to meet him.
you rode yourself to your first orgasm, back arching, cry lost in the kiss that suguru dominated you in.
maybe you had chewed off more you could bite, promised more than you could fulfill because he wasn’t going to stop until he had his fill.
he had you on your front now, face smashed into the pillows, cock slamming so deep you swear you could feel him hitting your cervix.
too raw. too sensitive. too much.
“suguru,” you gasp. “i—i can’t take anymore.”
his rolling hips don’t falter, balls slapping against your raw clit as he takes you like you belong just like this. trembling under his brutal thrusts. scalp stinging with where he’s gripping your head to force you down.
“no it isn’t, baby,” he grunts, pulling your upper body from his hold in your hair. you’re bowed off the couch, ear to his hot mouth. “you’re gonna fucking take this cock until you can’t remember what your ex’s name was.”
his words hit you in your gut, lightning your blood on fire and setting your nerves aflame.
you can feel the start of another orgasm but you can’t remember which count this is. can’t think. can’t fucking breathe. can’t—
“crying for me, sweetheart?” suguru’s hips slow but they don’t turn gentle. he penetrates you deeper, longer, slower strokes that makes you feel every inch of him, every veins rubbing against the inside of you.
“too much,” you cry and yet your hips are pushing back against his, searching for that release that building low.
“aw. pretty girl can’t take my cock,” he mocks. “he never fuck you this good before?”
suguru throbs inside of you. he places a gentle kiss at the middle of your spine, a stark contrast to his hard thrusts.
“want you to come when i fill you. want you to scream my name.” a slap on your ass makes you yelp. “understand?”
it’s already here, your orgasm. thighs sticky with your release tremble around where suguru forced himself to keep them open. your fingers reach back, nails digging into the arms that still has you by your hair.
“yeah,” he groans, hips stuttering, release flooding you full. “you like that, baby. so fucking sweet when you moan for me.”
you’re wrung completely loose. no strength in you as you just collapse on shaking arms.
automatically your pussy clenches when he draws back and you feel him fingering you and both of your releases.
“all of it in,” he says and pushes his finger inside your thoroughly fucked cunt.
you shudder, moaning weakly.
your eyes are heavy with sleep by the time suguru got a wash cloth and gently cleaned you up. you told him you were on the pill and you curiously watch him as he just glances to the side.
suguru is beside you, shirt and pants properly off now, in his boxers as he lies under the blankets next to you.
his touch is soft when he draws little circles on your shoulder, chin resting on the top of your head and you rest yours on his chest.
and you’re not sure what possesses you to be vulnerable but the words come out before you can bite them back.
“stay in the morning,” you whisper tiredly.
he places a soothing hand on your hair. “wasn’t planning on leaving, sweetheart.
you hum, shutting your eyes. content. you’ve never felt this content before.
“when you wake up,” he murmurs gruffly, “we’ll have a talk about you calling me a rebound.”
you smile when you finally fall asleep.