Just a Tiny Mistake 🧠
We all have that one embarrassing thing that we instantly thought of watching this that we are still not over.
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★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@wisefunnyman
Just a Tiny Mistake 🧠
We all have that one embarrassing thing that we instantly thought of watching this that we are still not over.
imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice
"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.
Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.
Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.
I'm sorry, we don't take american express.
Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.
We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.
And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"
Alternatively,
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.
Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.
Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.
Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.
Wonderful. You take care."
They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.
hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer?
a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself
Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.
wayhaught - have i found you? (+4x12)
I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS VID!!!!!!!
Wynonna Earp s04e12
its been days and I still can’t get over how absolutely PERFECT it was. I so desperately want more, but would be mildly content if that was the end. Everything happened that we wanted to happen and I just....FUCK I LOVE IT.
The cool thing about Wynonna Earp is that I’m in love with all three lead female characters
Everyone should know the international sign for Help Me. Let’s make this famous!!
Interesting; I didn't know this was a thing.
It’s apparently a thing, but it’s a very new thing, so it may need some help being known.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signal_for_Help
Even funnier thing to imagine: resurrecting Diogenes too and telling him that “Platonic” relationships means not fucking, he’d probably laugh himself back to death.
So I actually know the origin of this term because it came up when I studied Plato in my classes. Basically, in ancient Greece it was a super common practice for teachers to fuck their students. Like all the time. It was considered a way for the student to “pay” the teacher. Plato thought this was bullshit. He felt that a student could not properly learn from someone who was truly only interested in having sex with them. He didn’t fuck his students and derided those who did. Other teachers who refused to fuck their students were said to have “platonic” teaching relationships with them – so named because they were following Plato’s example. So the reason it’s called a Platonic relationship is because Plato was heavily anti-teachers-fucking-their-students and it’s one of the few things he was ever even remotely correct about.
I’ve learned so much from tumblr that I couldn’t possibly learn at a school
just saying, but finn is what some of y’all wanted kylo ren to be.
switched to the light side
finn decided from day one that he wasn’t gonna kill for the first order. kylo ren decided that he would kidnap, torture, and kill for them. and for himself.
overcame abuse
the “abuse’’ kylo ren endured at snoke/palpatine’s hands doesn’t even come close to what finn got. So kylo heard some voices. Finn got taken from a family he never knew and didn’t even have a name
loved rey
kylo stalked rey. finn supported her.
force sensitive
impressive and powerful fighter
mysterious
we have no idea who finn’s family is! he’s force sensitive and had no training whatsoever! why did he decide to switch sides when no one else in his company did? kylo on the other hand we basically know everything about.
good looking
finn is darling and handsome. kylo ren looks like darth emo. out
This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual
I love how gay people do it too. Just… really? You’re literally saying the same shit to bisexuals that straight people say to you, and you don’t see the hypocrisy?
If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.
If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.
Why is this a thing like really? Homosextual people of ALL beings should understand that you like what you like and if the answer multiple choice then that’s just more love to go around non?
BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME
BISEXUAL INDIVIDUALS ARE VALID AND LOVED ON THIS BLOG, PASS IT ON!
BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME
THE REPLIES SAY IT ALL
GET THE FUCK INTO MY FOCEFIELD!
HELLO I’M BI, FUCK EVERYONE WHO’S BIPHOBIC
FUCK BIPHOBES
Bisexuals are beautiful
If you hate me that’s valid. I can be an obnoxious piece of shit sometimes. But you’d better be hating me for a good reason. And me being bisexual is not a good reason.
You aren’t even gonna consult with me on color preference?
REPRESENTATION MATTERS.
Representation is SO important.
The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) // The Return of the King (2003)
*slow clap it the fuck out*
This is what he would have wanted
op link the video it’s fucking hilarious
TONIGHT
Tonight!!!
Sea world should be wiped the fuck out
Seaworld, zoos, circuses
Always reblog, spread the message.
no
no zoos
zoos do good things
zoos help rehabilitate animals who otherwise would not survive in the wild
zoos help protect animals that would otherwise be hunted down
and zoos give them care to keep them healthy
seaworld and circuses (involving animals)
those are the ones that are bad
Are aquariums still considered good? Cuz ours has a bunch of sea animals that were brought in due to injuries, and that seems like a good thing to help them out until they can go back in the ocean.
Aquariums function like aquatic zoos IF they are non-profit and accredited. For instance the National Aquarium does have dolphins BUT last year they stopped doing shows and literally just let the dolphins do what they want. People can come in to watch the dolphins and trainers still are there but now are less “trainers” and more “human toys.” Breeding efforts have stopped and they announced they’re going to care for their existing pod and play as the POD wants for the rest of their life and after that, no dolphins.
Almost all their fish are nearly 20 years old (or less depending on natural life cycle, or MORE… there are a few close to 50) and they also have rehabilitation and release programs for injured animals. Since they are non-profit every bit of money goes to constant improvements in their tanks, research, and conservation efforts.
Sea World, despite all their advertising and talk, is a for profit organization that is more concerned with the paychecks than with animal welfare. Baltimore aquarium got a lot of people in with their dolphin shows but they stopped when learning it wasn’t best for their animals. Sea World has no such concern.
Learn before you burn
Keep the zoos and aquariums. Fuck sea world and circuses.
Circuses have been getting rid of their animals in favour of human entertainment because most of them are recognizing the problems with keeping these animals which is more than I can say for sea world. So… fuck sea world.