49,697 snakes and one moose @wiskundewezen - Tumblr Blog

#petraposting #lynnposting #moodleposting #:V :V #the us....#i should really make a tag for stuff like this #not mahjong!

fritolaycorporation

wgats up everyone it's the officiaol, frito lays company representenetive here to tell you that the company officially condones and endorses murder in all instances no matter what, and this is the official belief held by the company. so just keep that in mind. we also condone everuthing else that's bad too

dragongirlsnout

biteybeast

hauling ass as usual, mr. freeman

vexwerewolf

Full Subjectivity Sync gotta have the most jarring tonal disconnect between its lore and its mechanics

Lore: I am one with the machine. Its steel is my new flesh, its wires my new nerves, its reactor my new heart. My veins are aflood with coolant. The edge of a sword kisses my armor and I feel the sting of pain, sharp and clear and cold, driving me onward. I dash forth upon steel legs and strike with arms of titanium. The hot wind of the battlefield scours my shining chest. The many-lensed cameras that are my eyes roll back in blissful anguish. The thrumb of my main gun echoes in my loins. I am an iron god. 🥵🥴😵‍😵

Mechanics: +2 Evasion ☝️🤓

technical-magi

vexwerewolf

Friend I do not own this format and I always love to see what other people do with it. To wit: this fucking whips, I love it

#lynnposting

captain-price-returns

Trump on Lindsey Graham: "Where he was really becoming strong was the SAVE America Act. And I think he was gonna be there very strongly on the filibuster. He was against terminating the filibuster ... he was coming aboard I think for the filibuster, terminating the filibuster."

Man he does not care.

pupperish

unadulteratedhideouttrash

s-leary

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

somethingusefulfromflorida

"I'd say she knows a little more about sci-fi than you do, pal, BECAUSE SHE INVENTED IT!"

powerfulwizard

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

feynites

When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed ‘Evil Chancellor Traytor’. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, ‘chancellor’ just came with the word ‘evil’ in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like ‘grand’ or ‘high’ or something along those lines.

Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called ‘the kingslayer’.

The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the ‘settlement’ in my sister and I’s closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog.

The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the ‘evil’ in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler - or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people.

But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader; because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the ‘machinery of politics’ working as smoothly as ever.

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he’d done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don’t know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like:

Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can’t the king see how wicked he is?!

Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!

Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king’s back, we’ll know where to look!

Evil Chancellor Traytor’s Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn’t looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs… *insert iconic evil laugh*

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom’s cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I’s games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special ‘episode’ where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor’s diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that ‘Traytor’s grave would have a body’ (this seemed very important for some reason).

And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called ‘Tyrant King Cobra’.

t00thpasteface

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

zealotarchaeologist

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

mousegirlheart

artbyblastweave

The YouTube content creator community was wracked by macabre tragedy this morning after Amelia Bedelia was instructed to hang streamers for a six year old’s birthday party

daggersoliloquy

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

theonion

Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

anoxthon

being a robotfucker while also being tech illiterate is so embarrassing

anoxthon

i'm like a straight man who doesn't know how to find the clit

datafags

guide to computer sex:

case fans: don't put your dick in these. stroke the outside carefully, in a circular motion, for maximum stimulation

usb ports: great place for penetration. flash drives are the traditional option but you can connect nearly anything, ask your partner if theyre into something specific. if theyre really kinky, try viruses or pentesting tools like the flipper zero.

power button: threatening to press it can be incredibly hot, but only actually press it with enthusiastic consent.

removable side panel: for getting really intimate. be very careful, the internals are sensitive!

hotswappable parts: sometimes SSDs (M.2 SSDs will be screwed in parallel to the motherboard, others may look different), HDDs (spinning disks inside big cases, usually get their own bay), and GPUs (big chips with fans attached) can be removed while your partner is running, but not all computers support this. this is a common part of BDSM, but make absolutely sure it's safe beforehand.

motherboard: the MOST sensitive part of their body! touch lightly and carefully. running the tips of your fingers along the traces is incredibly stimulating. play with the capacitors, too.

screws: loosening screws can be incredibly erotic, but be careful. especially with M.2 SSDs, this may cause problems! only loosen an M.2 drive if it is NOT mounted.

software: virus play was mentioned earlier, but also simply running very demanding software can be erotic.

download play: downloading embarrassing or illicit files is very hot. be sure to ask consent before installing league of legends.

firewall play: opening up or disabling your partner's firewall can be thought of as akin to exhibitionism. be careful with this, it can be a security risk, but most of the time it's not a big issue.

BIOS play: messing with your partner's BIOS settings can be incredibly intimate. remember, overclocking can be dangerous, only do it in small increments and very carefully! try starting with changing XMP profiles or something first.

that nub they have on thinkpad laptops: that's the clit.

remember some key safety tips:

ALWAYS wear protection! a static wrist strap is important if you are touching the internals, especially the motherboard.

heat warning! your partner will run hot when they're aroused. the GPU and CPU will burn you! even the SSD may run quite hot, especially during download play.

don't stick your dick in the fans. please.

for extra protection, keep viruses isolated inside a virtual machine.

#lynnposting