WithinTheVeil

A quiet space for the soft-hearted and soul-heavy. Reflections, whispers, and writings from within the veil. Not seeking attention — only resonance. if you find comfort here, Alhamdulillah.

[withintheveil]

Welcome to Within The Veil

I don’t know who will find this – maybe no one. Maybe someone with an aching heart too full to carry alone.

This space is not for performance. It’s not for followers or likes.

This is simply a space to let go of the burden for a little while. For softness. For solitude. For poetry born from pain, and faith born from the quietest cries that no one else sees.

I write anonymously. Because some things aren’t meant to be spoken out loud. Because some hearts were made to bleed behind the veil.

I am Ruhaya. And this is where i let my soul speak – not loudly, but truly.

If you find comfort here, Alhamdulillah. If you feel seen, stay a while.

Welcome to Within The Veil. 🤍

[withintheveil]

- Think this post speaks for itself....

Burning Alive

My hands and feet are always cold, yet it feels like I’m burning. 

I feel like I’m burning. Not with a fever, but with exhaustion. A fire beneath my skin that no one sees, because it’s not heat, it’s the ache of surviving.

I just want to live. Not drift. Not wait. Not brace. Just live. And now I’m willing to die trying, because I’ve spent too long– too long, feeling like I’m dying without ever trying.

My life has been an endless storm of panic, anxiety branded me. I’ve tiptoed through my own existence, afraid to move in case I break.

But I’m already breaking. A body that battles itself daily. Bleeding, fading, flinching. Each drop a whisper: “You’re still not safe.”

Still not heard. Still not healed. Still not free.

I’m so tired of managing it. So tired of pretending I’m okay. So tired of carrying silence like it’s survival.

If I’m going to fall, let it be forward. If I’m going to collapse, let it be chasing something worth it.

So let me burn. Let it light up the way. Let the fire become flight. Because I am still here. And I am not done.

So yes, I am burning.  Burning to stay alive.  Burning to live.

- Ruhaya ❤️‍🔥

[withintheveil]

I forgot what normal feels like… and now that it’s here, I’m scared it won’t stay. Even as I write this, I feel scared it’ll be taken from me – that someone will see me shine, just for a moment, and envy will find me. That ‘ayn will get me.  I’ve braced for so long and gotten used to it – used to waiting for something to go wrong, for everything to collapse on me like it always has. And now… it’s all so quiet. I don’t know what to do with it. I just hope it stays. Stays long enough for me to get used to the stillness, the comfort, the ease others live with… and I’ve only ever yearned for. So... I wrote a little poem for anyone feeling the same way.

The Taste of Peace

I feel at peace... And I don’t know what to do with it.

It’s been years… Years since my body felt light. Since I wasn’t bracing for the next wave, the next scream, the next pain that had my name written next to it.

And now I sit here – whole, soft, yet unsure. Tasting the ease that others live with. Wondering why I feel guilty for it.

There’s a whisper in my chest that says: Don’t trust it. That it’ll be taken. That peace is just a tease before another storm.

But still – just for this moment, I am not drowning. And I want to believe that’s allowed. That I am allowed to feel okay…

- Ruhaya 🤍

[withintheveil]

- Here is a poem for anyone going through illness, hardship, or silent pain.

Whispers of the Angel

I have heard death's whispers many times. It calls me like an old friend— a friend I’d rather stay away from, but a friend nonetheless.

He does not knock, nor does he wait for permission. He walks like shadow beside me, scary—but dutiful. An angel, bound not by malice, but by obedience to my Lord.

He does not speak. He simply stands when my soul trembles in sujood, when the wind stills at night, when my heart aches for things it cannot name.

He has seen the faces of kings and children, the lovers of dunya, and the lovers of Allah.

To the heedless, he comes like lightning— To the prepared, like a quiet pull toward home.

Sometimes I wonder if he’s near, when I can’t sleep. When my mother’s voice trembles in du’aa. When I feel too heavy for this earth, and too sinful for the sky.

But I know… He only moves when my Lord commands. He has no power of his own. He is not cruel. Just certain.

So I wait, not with eagerness, but with submission. Not with longing, but with hope.

That when he comes, he will not find me empty. He will not find me far.

Let him find me with Qur’an on my lips, and Allah in my heart. Let him take me, if I am ready.

And if I am not… then let me live only to become so.

-Ruhaya 🤍

[withintheveil]

You Must Return

You sinned. You knew. And still – you did it.

But remember, You have no one else. No savior. No escape. No mercy – except with Him. So don't ask, "Should i repent?" Ask, "What happens if i don't"

Because walking away from Allah after disobeying Him is to doom yourself twice.

It is not optional. It is not casual. Repentance is survival. And the one who delays it is already drowning.

So know this: Repentance is a necessity — not a choice. No matter what you’ve done. No matter how far you’ve strayed.

So return. Even if you’ve sinned a thousand times. Especially then.

Because He still waits. And if you don’t turn back – where else will you go?

-Ruhaya ❤️

[withintheveil]

🌙 A Letter to the One Who Is Still Trying

My love… I know you're tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes — but the kind that settles in your bones, that makes your chest heavy, your eyes wet, your prayers quieter and longer.

I know you’re trying. Even when no one sees it. Even when your effort doesn’t look like progress. Even when the world tells you, “You should be stronger by now.”

But strength isn’t loud. Sometimes it’s just showing up. Sometimes it’s just breathing. Sometimes it’s whispering “Ya Allah” with a shaking voice and trusting that He still hears it.

I see you. I’ve been you. I still am you, some days. And I promise — you’re not weak for feeling this way. You’re not behind. You’re not broken beyond repair.

There is honor in surviving. There is beauty in trying again. There is reward in every tear that fell when you thought no one was watching — but Allah always was.

You don’t have to fix it all today. You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. You just have to keep your heart turned toward Him — even if it’s cracked, even if all you have left is a whisper.

I’m proud of you. Not because you’ve arrived — but because you’re still here. Still trying.

That is more than enough. And so are you.

With love, From someone who sees you, walks besides you, and sometimes is you.

-Ruhaya ❤️

[withintheveil]

For anyone going through hardships, here is a little comfort 🤍

“Indeed, with hardship comes ease.” quran (94:6) Allah didn’t say after hardship — He said with it. Sometimes the ease isn’t what we expect. Sometimes it’s the sujood soaked in silent tears. Sometimes it’s in the people still standing by you. And sometimes, it’s in the way your heart still leans on Allah — and hopes. So do not despair. Hold on. Your ease might already be there — quietly surrounding you.

— Ruhaya/withintheveil