The Furry King Woif's Tumblr

Eyo, I'm Woif a scuff v-tuber. This is still mostly dead but I'm here incase twitter does die. Better bio later on.

[ok-dingo]

white people walk in front of this and a trapdoor immediately opens up dropping them into the Rancor pit

[paperjoshi]

do i have enough time to grab some cheese

[tournament-winners-tournament]

Round 1

[name]

VS

[name]

[image]

Vote

name1

name2

Voting ended onSep 6, 2023

[tournament-winners-tournament]

you weren't supposed to see that

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT

[tournament-winners-tournament]

[tournament-winners-tournament]

[canonjoshua]

[gjjuddmk2]

[baaaaaart]

Thog do caare

[tentacuddles]

GM: Ok, so as the party approaches the clearing, there are a myriad of statues holding twigs, all seemingly creating a canopy over the trail.

Player: I roll for perception. It's a 26.

GM: You see one amongst them has an empty ha--

Player: I pick up a twig. I climb up the statue and put it in the statue's hand.

GM: ....

Player: :)

GM: ..... The statues all turn to point in a direction off the path-- how did you???

Player: Yahaha. Bitch.

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

I know many of you out there are feeling a bit down. Have a crow to Wouldn’t it be Nice by the Beach Boys to lift your mood.

[thedoctorknits]

He stops and looks both ways?!?

[bettsplendens]

You wanna know what makes this better?

Crows normally walk. This one seems to have both legs working, so he’s not hopping out of necessity, he’s doing it for fun. Corvids can sometimes be seen doing things like this for no evident reason other than enjoyment.

[jcgreen72]

This is my new favorite post

[dovewithscales]

I can’t ever not reblog.

[sunflower-cathedral]

Have some happy crow vibes

[secondlina]

He's got the power of LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And stubbornness.

{Check out my comics below}

> namesakecomic.com

> crow-time.com

[outofcontexttokusatsu]

[paperjoshi]

Let's not forget their most important use

[o-kurwa]

[officialfist]

Unrestrained summer fun

[burlybanner]

I don't know what I was expecting but I assure you, it wasn't that

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

call me OSHA the way i’m demanding a railing

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

once again i have been written up by HR

[rilianedautriche]

compilation of texts my mom has sent me when my cat is wailing outside my room and i haven’t opened the door for her yet

[rilianedautriche]

[rilianedautriche]

[rilianedautriche]

[rilianedautriche]

[vixivulpixel]

“Two new Twitter alternatives, one by Meta, and the other by the guy that ran Twitter before Alone Muck”

[july-19th-club]

stopping at an understaffed, overcrowded fast food restaurant while on a road trip and crouching over your phone with your chicken sandwich at a corner table like a weary adventurer eating a bowl of unidentifiable stew at a nameless inn, the only one for miles of moor and wood, taking in the chatter around you but speaking to none before pulling your cloak back up over your head and taking t' the road once more

[bogleech]

Kicking the door in at a Popeye’s connected to a gas station to ask the most grizzled and battle-scarred customers to join me on a suicidal quest

[wild-west-wind]

Leaning over the counter of the TacoTime in Rexburg Idaho, asking if the 16 year old Mormon girl there has heard any rumors.

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

okay so

be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can

know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make

call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)

to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else

stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long

have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle

let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history

ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-

be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)

go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step

use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that

just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

yes

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you

[captain--steve--rogers]

Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

yes

[vivid-mercury]

I wonder why

[flightyquinn]

Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you've never met the parents before. Absolute power move.

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

want an update?

ofc you do

but i'm too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you've ever been in.

now multiply the awkwardness by 100

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

first of all i'm just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing

an example of what i would wear as my friend's fake bf:

and as my boyfriend's actual bf:

when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take

sooo yeah my bf told his parents he's gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine... then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they're in the matrix) and said

"and uh. why is...he here?"

i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son's boyfriend

:3

i've never seen two people look more angry before but they weren't gonna say anything because they had other family members over

the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i'm not very religious now, but that's something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss

aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn't stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don't think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf's parents

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

update two electric boogaloo ig

i have a girlfriend now🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[vixivulpixel]

“Two new Twitter alternatives, one by Meta, and the other by the guy that ran Twitter before Alone Muck”

[puyopuyo]

how much water did u drink today ?

1,000,000,000,000 gigaslurps 😁

[puyopuyo]

and still slurping

[madnessofmen]

the fact that a river ends at the mouth implies that the source is the anus, and a river flows from anus to mouth

not for this one I don't think so

[madnessofmen]

??????

[neighborlyarson]