Making this hellsite worse, one post at a time

I aim to provide the worst content on tumblr.

[candyredterezii]

starting a collection

[toadcroaky]

[international-repeater-station]

[softichill]

[homunculus-argument]

I've been browsing through too much speculative evolution memes but what if domestic cats could sail like gliders. Every day you get home you're greeted by

[peekychu]

One milion reblog and I wear this every day of my life

[raystarkitty]

Kris isn’t on the shirt bc they gifted it to him :-)

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Me: I don't know. I just don't think there's much comedic potential to the idea of a "pizza samurai"

PIzza Samurai, entering physical existence due to the sheer willpower which I still spend thinking about him: I will defeat you with my New York Style martial arts Pepperōnin, also real now: Prepare to get sliced

[lord-kitschener]

[thedreadpiratecam]

Why he light skinned?

[yourladyindank]

Because Martin Luther was white and German.

[fancynewaddress]

did…

did someone confuse Luther with Jesus omg

[lookwhathappenedtomack]

I suspect they confused him with Martin Luther King

[lets-talk-about-sects]

Oh no

[the-golden-ghost]

I mean, I get mixing them up based on names alone, but I’m concerned about the people who think Martin Luther King Jr. routinely wrote with a quill or dressed like a Renaissance man.

[twofacetoo]

At that point it’s your own damn fault for making that kind of mistake

[janiedean]

but why is martin luther the fastest sold playmobil figurine

[protoindoeuropean]

Protestants be shoppin

[lucerei]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[peach-pot]

anyone wanna guess what this doesthedogdie tie is for?

[peach-pot]

thaaaat’s right!

[peach-pot]

this is kind of a gold mine

[cerbercry]

you forgot the best one

[tajrishgp]

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

this is really resonating with the subjects

[qin-shi-huang-di]

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

I’m an emperor actually @chasingtheskyline

[qin-shi-huang-di]

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

[qin-shi-huang-di]

I AM NOT OWNED! I AM NOT OWNED!!!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ESTABLISH A STABLE DYNASTY!

[diet-poison]

the Terracotta Army guy?

[qin-shi-huang-di]

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

[slimlimit]

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

[jelloapocalypse]

Someone asked me a while ago if I still had a photo of the worst sink I had ever seen while apartment hunting in Los Angeles. I assumed I deleted it so I didn't answer the ask and now it's gone, but as it turns out, yes, I do still have a photo of it.

[darkspaceboytoy]

Incredibly violent take of mine but I actually don’t think you need to relate to a story in any way to enjoy it. You can enjoy a story even if you can’t point at a character and insert some aspect of your personality or identity into them. In fact I would argue the need for a character like that to be present in every single story you experience is a sign of stunted growth.

[slimemode]

back on the path of the wolf

[swordseer]

On the bladesong path. Again.

[notfinancialadvice]

This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.

[birdsareblooming]

coat bath

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN

[pocket-deer-belly]

i remade it in the sims 4

[vicholas]

I feel like for years I’ve seen people mad at gokufan2470 for saying this, insisting that Komi-san should not be included in the group and that it’s completely unfair because it’s “Such a Wholesome series”. Well. I wanna say. This random guy with a Goku icon is not only completely right but also, a hero, and the bravest Twitter user I’ve ever seen for stating the facts. I wish Komi-san fans would shut the fuck up. Good night

[jame7t]

when you see a Good post, you can say "HEEHO" when the post is Bad, the post is "wawoo"

[somemerchant]

Wawoo

[jame7t]

shut the fuck up 

[prokopetz]

Penis nomenclature is one of the less-discussed hazards of having very particular tastes in erotic fanfic. I once ran across a story that improbably had both the exact pairing and the exact kink I was looking for, only to get clotheslined at the first sex scene by the fact that the text consistently referred to the lead's penis as their "dork".

[prokopetz]

[prokopetz]

Monster dating sim with a Sierra adventure game circa 1990 ethos about bad endings where the monsters are genuinely well meaning and there are just an unbelievable number of ways for them to accidentally kill you, and – this is key – there's a fuckass narrator who has a unique stupid pun for every single one.

[prokopetz]

Ideally it should also have a 90s Sierra adventure game approach to routing, like you can make a seemingly innocuous decision in the first five minutes of play that locks you into an unavoidable bad ending. You neglect to pick up the condoms from the nightstand (which is not even visually flagged as interactable) in the very first scene, and three quarters of a route later you have a bizarre allergic reaction to your partner's bodily fluids that somehow causes your head to pop off of your shoulders and go shooting out the window like a bottle rocket. The narrator responds with a strained wordplay about the semantic distinction between "getting" head and "giving" head.

[gumbamasta]

[ggcrono]