unfortunate man enjoyer

24 | pan | art but don't expect much | mobile header is by @/theshitpostcalligrapher

[wolfgangsdick]

Using this blog to post warhammer 40k thoughts cause im bored and can't be bothered to make a new one 🥱

Emps posting

Headcanons

Primarch Deity AU

Original Characters

My Art

[celestial-fang]

The traitor Primarchs

[kumratart]

The Emperor of Mankind dying in a gluetrap

[wolfgangsdick]

reference image below

[chifanlema]

I finally finished drawing him! I think blood angels are really spicy; they all bring meaningless leg rings and chains to themselves! Why can't they learn from their fathers and expose their chests! I want to see their chests! ！！！

[wolfgangsdick]

tagged by @chaos-dumpster-fire, actual first time doing a tag game but looked fun

last song: uhh kate bush- babooshka, and megan thee stallion- thot shit

fav colour: blue, but I sometimes get excited over a nice shade of yellow

currently watching: I'm waiting for the seasonal animes to finish so I can binge witch hat atelier and dorohedoro

currently reading: nothing, since I'm deep in fanfic hell right now and can't find what i'm looking for.

current obsession: *looks down in shame* the god emperor of mankind with giant tits

currently working on: I'm crocheting a skirt for the summer right now while procrastinating two other art projects

last google search: 'lifting baby into air', was looking for pose references for another baby celestine piece

tagging: whoever feels like it, I don't know who's s ok with being tagged i'm a bit too awkward to actual tag people

[wolfgangsdick]

You're telling me the alpha legion never spread rumours of the emperor having a confirmed birth date, just to watch the chaos unfold as the entire imperium scrambles to find suitable gifts for a man that's been around since the dawn of time and is rarely impressed by anything.

[wolfgangsdick]

Honestly, I think all space marines have Pica. It's just that their stomachs are strong enough to draw nutrients from the random stuff they stick in their mouths, unlike the rest of us.

[wolfgangsdick]

Angron being disgusted by the idea of doing anything sexual because he grew up witnessing the sexual violence that other slaves were subjected to in the colosseum, and for a long time thought that was how sex worked. Even if he knows better now, the idea of accidentally hurting someone in that way or becoming obsessed with it like the high riders, makes him feel ill.

[wolfgangsdick]

Fulgrim guilty pleasure being edible clay, which he used to eat a lot of in his childhood. A cheap mineral dense treat that can be easily hidden in his clothes and that he doesn't have to worry about going bad while he works a 18hr shift.

[miechancomeback]

I think about what if Primarchs have daughters? So I draw it

[qualdisadis]

Emperor big naturals, I suppose?..

I had an idea and I wanted to quickly draw it :P

[thatnightlamp]

holy Emperor let me have a taste....

[wolfgangsdick]

Pre crusade Emps fucked so much because for him it was just a bodily function the same way he had to eat or sleep. Like he didn't give much thought or feeling about who he was doing it with unless it was part of a bigger plan he was working towards.

But during the whole process of turning into a god, I think a sudden lack of libido would have freaked him out a bit. Suddenly the pleasure and stimuli he relied on for so long not bringing him relief. Making him realize all the experiences and connections he took for granted once they were gone.

Sex for him after that would be about a) reinforcing the relationships he still has. Really trying to show himself as an attentive lover by extending the amount foreplay and focusing on his partner getting off. All while trying to hide the fact that his body isn't responding the way it should be. And b) psychic stimulation to get around his physical body's lack of interest, and connecting minds with his partner in order to share in some of the sensations.

[wolfgangsdick]

Celestine is like the kid Emps had after all his other kids grew up and moved away, so she's the youngest but still has only child energy while having to deal with Emps lament about his other kids.

In a modern au he'd be a sickly old man muttering about how his other kids never visit him, some of whom have been dead for years, while Celestine pushes him around in his wheelchair and agrees with whatever he says.

[wolfgangsdick]

I wish space marines had more animal companions as part of their legions mainly due to my desire to see them charge into battle alongside an armoured bear.

Also, picturing Dorn holding a bear like it's a large dog is very cute.

[wolfgangsdick]

Have we considered that the Emperor missed Sanguinius so much that he made Celestine purely out-of mourning.

[wolfgangsdick]

Hmm... primarch Saint Celestine in an au where the sororitas was around for the heresy but instead served as an anti-chaos unit.

[wolfgangsdick]

Thinking about this more, her founding story would retain her Joan of arc theme and be strangely similar to Sanguinius', with her also gaining status as a war hero but instead being persecuted for being a mutant psyker. Concluding with Emps arriving just in time to rescue her from being burned at the stake.

With her being a more psychic version of Sanguinius and clearly being one of the Emperors favourites, her chapter colours would be gold and blue, while her geneseed mutation would probably be future vision that results in madness.

Celestine would probably work closely with Lion, seeing as anything to do with chaos is kept secret, and Lion is the secret keeping primarch. Which also means that most of her legions' achievements would be kept secret.