I'm done with life. I fucking give up. I give the fuck up. When i go back home in a couple days I'm going to end it. I've battled with this decision for a long time. I fucking hate this bullshit planet, this bullshit life. I just want to die. I don't want to wake up. Such bullshit on every avenue. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT? If I don't kill myself my diabetes will anyway eventually so what's the fucking point. I hate my life. I suffer from depression. I suffer from a fucking illness NO DOCTOR is willing to genuinely help with which makes me feel so FUCKING HELPLESS. It's progressing and getting worse!!! On top of my diabetes as well!!!! The doctors just prescribe me fucking medication which they know won't work just so they get paid and fill their pharmaceutical quota. If I'm not already dying in a bed and I can walk around they don't give a FUCK!!!! THEY WILL PROLONG THE ILLNESS AS LONG AS THEY CAN TO PRESCRIBE ME AS MANY MEDS AS THEY CAN TO GET THEIR PAY. I'm not writing this as a cry for help I don't fucking care what people think. They say "OH PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES DONT TELL OTHER PEOPLE" well I'm using this as a PERSONAL way to vent. SO DONT FUCKING TELL ME THAT SHIT. When I go back home I am going to end this bullshit. I am ridden with illness, guilt, and depression. I fucking told my doctor the illness is ruining my life and I've avoided people for 2 years and lost the last year of my college life because of it. He smirked and went back to what he was saying like he didn't give a FUCK!!! I'm DESPERATE AND I FEEL LIKE NO ONE WANTS TO HELP ME!!! I'm tired of this! I already suffered from depression badly before that. So that's it. My dad said 8 of his employees died today and to enjoy life. WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS LIFE? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PURPOSE? WHY ARE WE EVEN FUCKING HERE? IF I DONT REMEMBER THE SUPPOSED BILLIONS OF YEARS BEFORE MY LIFE SINCE OUR SOULS ARE "ETERNAL" THEN WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE WERE GOING TO BE "ALIVE" AFTER WE DIE? THE WAY THIS WORLD WORKS IS SO FUCKED UP. THESE FUCKING ELITES AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD WHO CONTROL EVERYTHING IN A SINISTER WAY LIKE THEYRE GODS... LOOK WHAT THEYRE DOING TO US!!!!! don't let this be a fucking influence for you to end YOUR life. This is a personal vent for ME. MY LIFE WAS FUCKED. YES I HAD A LOVING FAMILY BUT A FUCKED UP CHILDHOOD BUT TO BE HONEST I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. IM JUST UNPLEASED WITH THE WORLD AND HOW IVE ENDED UP IN IT - SO ITS MY NEXT MOVE TO TAKE MYSELF OUT OF IT. FUCK EVERYTHING. AND FUCK ALL THE BULLSHIT ASS PRIVATE DOCTORS WHO DIDNT HELP ME WITH SHIT!!!!!!













