The Wren

Call me Elle, or L. She/they.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[mikkynga-deactivated20210728]

this will never stop being funny.

the girl dressed as the boss is the best

[donatart]

is someone dressed as jesus

[teaboot]

There should be a public service option where if you’re a very friendly and kind elderly person who visits the same store so often everyone knows your name and chats with you then when you pass away it gets put on the radio or something so I can go to your funeral instead of just realizing after a week that you’ve vanished forever

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: Making Contact With An Unknown Beast

[mugwomps]

I have never seen "wtf" so clearly expressed on an animals face

[aliciabenissa]

He looks so fucking upset I can't breathe

[immortalbeingz]

[fatfemmefreaquency]

[valtsv]

i think that "claims to be pro life dies anyway" is the singular funniest phrase ever invented because there's just no coming back from that unless we suddenly get really good at necromancy

[valtsv]

pro lifer comes back wrong and they're really upset about it because they didn't get a. a. a ch

[birdrhetorics]

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

[bartok-not-bartalk]

Fun story my Great Great Grandma left Germany in the 1920s because she had family in the US and could get citizenship pretty easily and once she was over in the US she then smuggled over 15 jewish families out by forging family documents so now my aunts are currently in the process of trying to tell the real ones from the fake ones because my great gran just died and there are legally over 100 surviving descendants but we know that math is a lil screwy.

[jedda-martele]

Sometimes a family is you, your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids, and the 15 Jewish families you helped smuggle out of Nazi Germany.

[philosopherking1887]

And your tuba

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[oupyfactory]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

blows my mind that cheetahs are apex predators. that is the single most anxious creature I have ever seen. at any given moment a cheetah is exactly one stubbed paw away from bursting into tears. that is a sad dripping wet animal, and it's at the top of the local food chain? babygirl what happened

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

things I learned from this post:

cheetahs regularly get bullied by lions, hyenas, crocodiles, and baboons

multiple people think this means cheetahs aren't an apex predator/belong lower on the food chain

which is how I learned humans equate social status with position on the food chain. (which is nonsense to anyone who's ever met, for instance, a moose)

an apex predator is just a predator without natural predators of its own. you can be an anxious pathetic mess, but if you're not getting eaten by your neighbors, congrats! you're an apex predator.

i look it up to make sure cheetahs are apex predators

I find out it's not uncommon for cheetah cubs (and very occasionally adults) to be eaten by lions, leopards, hyneas, and even eagles???

well that sure calls into question their apex predator status. out of curiosity i check to see if there are any animals that hunt lions

this is how I discover that cheetahs, lions, hyenas, and leopards will all eat each other's children if presented with an easy opportunity (and sometimes young/elderly/injured adults)

begining to wonder how useful 'apex predator' is as a term

in conclusion, cheetahs are so fast because they are fueled by Grade A+ Ultra Concentrated Anxiety and they need that speed to run away from their problems

[pangur-and-grim]

he really is a forever boy

[bogleech]

Who made this edit, it's the most valid one

[3000yearsunderground]

Some closeups of the best graffiti I've ever seen

[pangur-and-grim]

oh…….i had a dream that a religious cult had taken over the city and was hunting me, but I had a little dog I found in the trash named BATHMAT and he looked like a USED MOP and I miss him so much. I want to go back to sleep

[pangur-and-grim]

bathmat. I’ll see you again someday

[celceta]

I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

[prinxe-with-no-crown]

happy pride month

[pangur-and-grim]

he grew up so fast

[pangur-and-grim]

[toskarin]

I don't personally find spiders cute but I understand people who do because of my deep affection for the humble lobster

[toskarin]

[like I'm ignoring the scrawled warnings of my gothic ancestor] why DID I even disable the reblogs in the first place

[pukicho]

What if that insane murderer monster on the loose is just a wittle misunderstwood :(

[pukicho]

I’m not sure what “blorbo” means but keep it to yourselves