there's something wretched about this

This town ain't spooky enough for the both of us

[wretchedly]

kelpeigh -> wretchedly

changed my url!

[wretchedly]

A wedding band should be worn on the pinky. Because you’re making a promise

[wretchedly]

How the hell did diamonds become the pinnacle of gemstones when agates and opals exist?

[wretchedly]

“Don’t step on that fish, Castiel. Big plans for that fish.” will never not crack me up because it implies some amazing potential scenarios:

-Castiel had previously been stepping on fish (by accident? Who’s to say), hence a warning to be careful to not step on this one

-Castiel had planned to step on that fish and had to be told not to

-Neither of the two prior options are true, and Castiel looked at that angel like “uh?? Okay???” and consequently kind of wanted to step on that fish, because he was already a closeted rebel

[hellygf]

pov you're about to get squashed

[hellygf]

[wretchedly]

pov you’re the first tiny fish to heave itself up onto the shore millions of years ago

[ladyshinga]

[ofbeinghonests]

if you have one, tag with the "6 degrees of separation" you have with a celebrity

[wretchedly]

@bog-horse so your brother worked at chicken express with pre malone

[phantomrose96]

Perhaps funniest side effect for me of being aromantic is that for any media I watched growing up, two characters being in a romantic relationship was just A Thing Canonically Stated Or Not.

This was not a thing to be extrapolated, really, because what are you even talking about. This was not a matter for flights of fancy because that was like getting whimsical about getting a character’s name wrong. Characters are in a romantic relationship if the canon says so OR if they do the thing where they blush and get all defensive about each other. I’ve got my notebook on this. I understand this. I’m an expert on understanding this.

And like at 12 years old I’d see people on the Nickelodeon message boards shipping Zutara and I’d get so mad because they literally don’t like each other. I studied this! I thought when Kataang was confirmed (not that I even cared for Kataang but that was The Romance) everyone would go “ohhh we get it now” but they did not! Baffling! 12yo me pacing around the family computer going “something is wrong with the denizens of the Nickelodeon message boards.”

I watched Naruto and the overwhelming amount of Sasunaru fandom content was shocking. That’s literally Naruto’s friend dattebayo

[seasononesam]

What about strange phone calls? Receive any of those lately, weird interference, static, anything like that? No.

[parasitoidism]

posts that have 10k notes if you take the time to add up the number of likes, replies and reblogs across 4 different sub-posts to me

[unreal-unearthed]

he’s so funny i love him too much for my own damn good i love his terrible fucking jokes (for context the name of the venue is jiffy lube live which is! um! [redacted!])

AND TALKING ABOUT VOCAL FOLDS WHICH HE DID FOR ME (GIRL WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING EVERY STRUCTURE FROM EVERY THE DAMN NERVE INNERVATION TO EVERY MUSCLE TO EVERY TYPE OF MOVEMENT OF THE VOCAL FOLDS THANK YOU ANDREW HOZIER-BYRNE)

also! just know i am trying SO HARD to keep it pg13 rn

[wretchedly]

ngl I’m on ep5 of the big gay hockey show and I’ve been underwhelmed

[orpheusilver]

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

[orpheusilver]

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

[orpheusilver]

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

[somebodytolove31]

The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

[hobgoblinhero]

Smash Or Pass should never be about attraction, that's what Hear Me Out is for. A Smash on Mickey Mouse is understandable, even respectable. A Hear Me Out on Mickey Mouse however, that requires a lab dissection

[elumish]

I honestly think Gen-Z and younger simply does not understand how recent widespread smartphone adoption is.

I am not that old, and I didn't have a smartphone until probably late high school. For most of my life, many if not most people were not walking around with a magic internet machine in their pocket that they pulled out and used constantly for everything.

[sandumilfshous]

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

[crabussy]

hi everyone. do yourself a favour and go create a beautiful horse for me

[crabussy]

they jump if you click them by the way. but watch out

[wretchedly]

Story idea: action comedy. There’s a set of identical twins. One is a spy or some other person of interest that would attract danger. The other is just Some Guy™. Works in HR or accounting at Mundane Logistics, Inc. or whathaveyou. Spy sibling gets targeted by a substantial bounty/hit.

Assassins find boring sibling and mistakenly assume this is their target at their cover job. Boring sibling has no idea their twin is a spy, let alone that anyone is after them. Through a sequence of dumb luck happenings, boring sibling not only evades assassination attempts, but manages to take down a super secret league of mercenaries/assassins by accident.

We intermittently cut to sibling spy, who has taken great pains to disappear, but is nonetheless confused as to why no one is coming after them. Grows increasingly paranoid. Finally gets a call from boring twin: “You’ll never believe the day I had!”