Anon sent the prompt: “Trevelyan learning she’ll never be able to carry pregnancies to term due to injuries sustained during battles and overusing healing portions before she could properly heal. Cullen being a wonderful husband and helping her cope.”
Cullen Rutherford x Female Inquisitor (Angst/Fluff - 1055 words)
“What do you mean? I don’t- What are you talking about?” Her voice was pitched with panic as she stared at the healer, confused and scared.
“I’m sorry, my Lady. The injuries you’ve sustained in the past make it impossible for you to ever bear a child.” The healer’s voice was even, but his eyes showed the sympathy he felt for the young woman sitting in front of her.
“I have- I have to go.” She rose from her seat on shaky legs and rushed from the room without another word or glance back.
She didn’t meet anyone’s eye as she made her way out of the healer’s clinic; she couldn’t. It was taking every ounce of strength she possessed to keep her tears from falling; she couldn’t fake a smile for anyone right now.
She had only gone to the clinic to ask for advice on conceiving. She never imagined this would be the news she would receive. She had only wanted to be mother, but now she knew it would never happen.
Her feet moved on their own accord, carrying her through the village as she stared down at the dirt. Her right arm was wrapped tightly around herself, rubbing up and down her left, trying to calm herself.
She had done everything that had been asked of her: she had closed the breach, she had led the Inquisition, she had saved all of Thedas, and she had lost her arm in doing so. All she wanted now was a quiet life with Cullen: a small plot of land, a home to call her own, and a family. The one time she wanted something for herself and that too was taken from her.
She hadn’t realised she had made it home until she was walking through the front door. How was she going to tell Cullen? He wanted to be a father as much as she wanted to be a mother; telling him it would never happen felt impossible.
“You’re home.” Cullen rounded the corner to the entryway, a cheerful smile on his face. “How did it-” He stopped short when he saw his wife’s posture; head down, arm wrapped around herself, shoulders hunched. She may as well be curled into the fetal position on the floor.
He was at her side in an instant. He wrapped his arm snugly around her waist and led her to the sitting room sofa. He eased them down, keeping her tucked tightly to his right side. Once they were settled, he lifted his hand to cradle her head as she lowered it onto his shoulder. That was when her tears finally began to fall. He rocked them both gently, cooing softly to try to calm her.
He should have gone with her. She had been adamant that everything would be fine; she would in and out, her questions answered and then they would be ready to start trying for their child. But if she has returned in this state it must mean… He should have gone with her. She shouldn’t have been alone when she was told.
“I’m sorry, Cullen. I’m so sorry…” She sobbed, clinging to him.
He shook his head before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Shhh… Stop. There’s nothing to aplogise for, love.” He gathered her up into his arms and pulled her into his lap. She buried her face into the side of neck instantly while he cradled her against his chest, rubbing slow, soothing circles along her back.
“We can never- we’ll never have a child.” She wailed. “It’s my fault!” She began shaking as she sobbed harder now.
He had already assumed as much, but to actually hear the words… He swallowed around the growing lump in his throat and blinked away his tears; he would be strong for her.
But still the words echoed in his mind over and over for several minutes, imagining a life with only himself, his wife, and their mabari. Never having the opportunity to raise a child, to teach them, care for them, give them all the love he and his wife possessed…
No. That would not be their life. There was more than one way to have a child.
“What?” He could barely hear her as she choked out the word into his neck.
“Who says we’ll never have a child?”
She lifted her head then. She continued to tremble and her tears continued to fall as her reddened eyes met his. “The healer said-”
“The healer said you can’t get pregnant, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a child.” He explained, a gentle smile on his lips. She stared at him, her expression turning confused rather than mournful. “There is more than one way for us to have a child, love.” He added while wiping away her tears.
“I don’t- What do you mean?” Her tears had stopped now.
Cullen’s smile grew the barest amount upon seeing her befuddled expression. “How many children are living in orphanages in Thedas? How many children go to bed without a kiss goodnight and a bedtime story? There are children all over Thedas dreaming of a mother and father as much as you and I are dreaming of a child. So I ask you again, who says we won’t have a child?”
Cullen watched her lower lip begin to tremble once more as her eyes filled with tears. For a moment, he thought he had said the wrong thing – maybe she didn’t want to adopt, perhaps she thought it was lesser somehow – but then her lips turned up at the corners. She pressed herself tightly against his chest once more, her face buried in his neck as she cried, but this time tears of joy.
Cullen cradled her in his arms while he imagined the day they meet their child. Who would they be? What would they be like? How old would they be? The questions rolled around in Cullen’s mind until her soft voice broke him from his trance.
“I can’t wait to meet our child.” She whispered while peeking up at him, her smile shining brightly. Cullen returned her smile as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
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