WHAT SHOULD WE CALL MOM

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WHEN I TRY TO COOK BREAKFAST

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WHEN TEACHERS BRAG ABOUT HAVING SUMMERS OFF

I'M LIKE: 

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WHEN I SEE SOMEONE WITH A POPPED COLLAR

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WHEN I CHECK MY IPHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

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WHEN I ASK INTERNS TO WORK PAST 5PM

THEY'RE LIKE: 

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MORNINGS

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IN MY 20S:

NOW:

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WHEN SOMEONE ASKS IF I WANT A GLASS OF WINE

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WHEN MY BOSS MENTIONS HE'S CONSIDERING GIVING US SUMMER FRIDAYS

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I’M LIKE: 

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WHEN MY HUSBAND AND I ARGUE OVER TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE AT NIGHT BECAUSE WE ARE AFRAID OF RACCOONS

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WHEN I'M SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT CROSSFIT

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WHEN I WATCH GAME OF THRONES

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THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE GYM

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WHEN A LARGE GROUP OF CHATTY WOMEN BOARD THE COMMUTER TRAIN IN THE MORNING

EVERYONE IS LIKE:

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WHEN I SEE MY NEIGHBOR THE DAY AFTER HER HOUSE ALARM WENT OFF ALL NIGHT

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WHEN I GO TO THE GYM IN MY NEW WORKOUT CLOTHES

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WHEN I SEE A CAR WITH THOSE STICK FIGURE FAMILY PICTURES ON IT

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WHEN I CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY