SWORDS & SWEETNESS

THE INCREDIBLE NIGHTCRAWLER - WRITTEN BY SAMSA

[wunderzirkus]

DOSSIER // KURT WAGNER aka NIGHTCRAWLER

!!! THIS FILE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION !!!

HELLO friends, foes, and fiends of all kinds;

my name is SAMSA and I am happy to meet you! Please excuse the dust as I set things up here!

I am 21+ and so is Kurt. Any and all nsfw content/general triggers will be tagged to the best of my abilities but things may slip through now and then.

I am happy to write with canon, original, and crossover characters of all kinds, but you may have to explain a few things in regards to understanding the source material for some crossovers.

Please be patient with me. I work full time and my health is not the best, so there may be times where I am not online or can only focus on a few things at a time.

Kurt is more of a blend of comic/cartoon sources rather than any one distinct portrayal. I am happy to play with whatever particular 'verse you favor, though, so just let me know. :>

If I'm not here you can find me over on @sparkmender (Rung from the Transformers fandom).

[punkerduckiememes]

[weepingwidar]

RF. Alvarez (American, 1988) - The Color of a Cigarette (2023)

[tom-spanks]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[scumfuckus]

[yiffpunk]

[heatseekingbehavior]

[nonbinarybeartrade]

[falconfate]

Yeah, I’d have killed a man for this bedroom as a kid

[uninventedtypeof-autism-creature]

i still would tbh

[wunderzirkus]

"I do think better upside-down, thank you."

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

Gonna perform a miracle of cissubstantiation and turn bread into bread

Drink of this wine, for it is wine

[tam--lin]

[glyndwr]

@apocrypals

[wunderzirkus]

Sweet stuff?

That’s. New. And peculiar. And very nearly the last thing he expected Sabertooth to call him.

He’s not sure how to feel about it.

[wunderzirkus]

Yellow eyes peek around the doorframe, then disappear again.

[wunderzirkus]

Outcast/Runaway Sentence Starters

"Maybe we’ll just, I don’t know, run away? Live in the woods? On the moon?"

Rogue to Kurt [hope it's chill I sent this]

"On the moon, schatzi?"

Kurt laughs softly as he cards a gloved hand through Rogue's curls, letting his sister sprawl over his lap as is her right; Kurt's always physically affectionate, but rarely do they both get a moment of overlapping downtime to just hang out and 'shoot the shit', as it has been put.

"As much fun as running away sounds, I think the moon might be a little out of easy reach. Things like, ah, oxygen, you know... Water, food... And you would miss poor Remy too much."

[wunderzirkus]

“I woke up this morning and chose empathy. It seems the rest of the world has chosen violence, though.”

[teethshank]

The mother bamf carries his bamflings around on his back to keep them safe

[wunderzirkus]

Breakfast can be turkey cold-cuts and off-brand tortilla chips. If you think about it.

[horrificmemes]

Outcast/Runaway Sentence Starters

Suggested by lxnked-memorxes, who wanted some outcast vampire prompts (the idea has been made slightly vaguer than the original so that others can use it too).

“Have you told anyone? About what/who you are?

“If they find out, we’re both dead.”  

“Maybe we’ll just, I don’t know, run away? Live in the woods? On the moon?”

“Shh! Hide! Someone’s coming.”

“I never thought I’d meet someone else just like me.”

“The down side is, now we’ve got to take care of each other, not just worry about ourselves.”

“I can’t protect you! I can’t even protect myself!”

“You know, if we’re seen together, we’re both going to get killed.”

“I’m not sure what I prefer: being killed or being thrown out into the wilderness.”

“If we found a way to escape, would you consider it?”

“Just act normal. Don’t do anything suspicious, and they’ll never know.”

“I’ve been hiding who I am for a long time. Trust me, you get used to it.”

“Do you know what they would do to me if they knew I was talking to you?”

“You can stay one night. But that’s it. In the morning, you better be gone.”

“You’re one of them. Aren’t you?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you’re here. But you can’t make a scene.”

“How do you do it? How do you blend in to everyone around you?”

“I already know what you are. Now get the hell out of here before I call for them to take you away.”

“Please, trust me, I’m not like they say I am!”

“They’re looking for you.”

“They’re looking for people like you.”

“You can’t let them find me. You know what they do to people like me!”

“We can’t hide forever, you know.”

“Why are we being punished? Just for being born?”

“I don’t think we’re the problem. I think the problem is they don’t understand.”

“I can prove to you that the rumors are all lies, just give me a chance.”

“We’re not as horrible as they say we are.”

“I saw what they did to someone just like me, and I’ll be damned if it’s going to happen to me too.”

“I don’t care who or what you are, I still care.”

[byjove]

nothing is funnier than Catholics getting mad at Anglican priests for having sex lives

[thelouisfanclub]

Who’s mad about it 😂 Most Anglican-Catholic discourse I ever see is just like

[byjove]

go into the comment section of any Anglican priest’s social media post and you will see the Catholics care a great deal more than you would think

[byjove]

priest kink. next question

[mctreeleth]

Good call, focusing your efforts on the priests you CAN fuck.

[wunderzirkus]

Name: Der Nachtkriecher/The Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner (occasionally Kurt Xavier or Kurt Szardos, depending)

Nickname(s): Elf, Fuzzy, Kurtie, Crawler, Nightie, Cap'n, Blueberry, Baby Blue, Schatzi, etc etc etc etc. If you call him anything in a sweet tone of voice, or even if you sound mildly annoyed, it will join the roster. Elf is probably the most common.

Relationship Status: Open to the possibility.

Gender: Cis??? Male. Kurt presents as masculine, though whether or not he's actually cisgender or just close enough to it that he passes, who knows. Kurt doesn't and also probably doesn't care, either.

Romantic Orientation: Enthusiastically, bombastically bisexual with a slight preference for blondes of any gender.

Preferred Pet Names: Yes. (Really he'll use German and English endearments interchangeably, with Sinti Romani pet names reserved for his very close family and friends.)

Opinion on True Love: By God, what an adventure that would be! Kurt longs for such a thing in his own life, but has had to grapple with his appearance and responsibilities to the X-Men/Excalibur/etc. and has been gradually coming to terms with being alright if it doesn't happen. Besides, all the best relationships take work, right?

Opinion on Love at First Sight: Primarily the realm of stories and films, but he'd be lying if he wasn't moved by the idea. Has a sneaking suspicion that this is how things started between Scott and Jean.

How ‘Romantic’ Are They?: Imagine Gomez hitting on Morticia. Now make him blue and give him a pirate hat. Kurt is a diehard romantic who will do everything in his power to spoil his beloved rotten. He'll tumble over himself to open a door for you. He'll fight someone in the Walmart parking lot. Whatever.

Ideal Physical Traits: Please be able to bend him in half blonde?? Someone who runs warm and is at least mildly athletic.

Ideal Personality Traits: Protective, patient, and maybe a little bit possessive. He rarely feels like he fits in anywhere outside of the X-Mansion and even within it, sometimes, so it is reassuring to know just how wanted he is. Kurt would also appreciate someone who likes to have some fun and can be just as dramatic as he is-- be committed to the bit first and each other second!

Unattractive Physical Traits: Not a huge fan of lots of tattoos and piercings, which is kind of funny considering he is Completely Blue. It's the Catholic upbringing.

Unattractive Personality Traits: Callousness, unresponsiveness, and ice-cold cruelty. Also not a huge fan of someone overly pushy or commanding.

Ideal Date: Picnic on the top deck of a schooner, lit by candlelight as you share a bottle of wine and soft conversation. Or maybe a stay at home movie night and lots of popcorn?

Do They Have a Type?: Kind of a redundant question!

Average Relationship Length: He'd need to actually have a relationship, first... (we do not take his relationship with Jimaine/Amanda to be romantic here, thank you)

Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: Please please please please please please please--

Commitment Level: 100000% this man will die for you if you so much as smile at him. If Kurt gets involved with you, he stays involved with you, even if the relationship falls through; he'll always be there if you need him.

Opinion of Public Affection: You can quite literally just grab him and hold him. Knead him like play-doh. Hold hands. Expect his tail to be curled around whatever he can reach of you, his head on your shoulder, his hands stuffed in your pockets, etc etc. Kurt loves any and all affection.

Past Relationships?: None, really. He's been too insecure for anything to really take root.

tagged by: the darling @acta-x-non-x-verba !

tagging: Feel free to fill it out too if you want to :>

[wunderzirkus]

IT'S NOT A DATE

[wunderzirkus]

{ @griffesxetxcigares }

"You think this is a bad idea," Kurt comments, gleeful despite Logan's dour outlook. "You think I am making a mistake."

Admittedly, it is a little nerve-wracking, setting all this up and putting his own neck on the line, but-- if it helps. If it helps, then it is worth it. No one should be left out in the cold.

He leans in to nuzzle along Wolverine's hairline, nosing at his temple. "You're sweet to worry about me."

[griffesxetxcigares]

" I do. Cause I know what he's capable of." He grumble rumbles. The nuzzling DOES help though. The grumpy old man sighing heavily as he digs for a cigar. Chewing on it without lighting it for now. Rasping around it as he squints, sniffing," He's a pain in the ass. He likes the taste of blood. He's a bigger mess n'me somedays and I'm the one with the memory issues." Turning to bunt his head to Kurt's very carefully. Thick head and all that rot.

[wunderzirkus]

When Logan turns into him and gives him a little thump, Kurt cups the side of his face and simply breathes, happy for the closeness.

...Oh, but, yes. Right. He digs in his pocket for the lighter he 'borrowed' from Warren's hoard of shiny trinkets and presses it into the shorter man's palm with a chuckle. "No one is a bigger pain in my ass than you. No one! Wear this badge with pride, Howlett: Eternal Ass-Pain. I'll even put a kiss on it, if you like."