Fate's Complaining Corner

She/her/dragon.You can call me Mack! Icon credit to @moonknights

[neopetdestroyer]

[inkloom]

Peer reviewed tags from Misterghostfrog

[probuccalfat]

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

[probuccalfat]

personal agenda. Personal.

[argentcochon]

[probuccalfat]

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

[starcut-sand]

the thing about Tangled is that this is a story geared towards little girls (even if it's "fun for the whole family," it's a disney princess movie, it's geared towards little girls), and it says, "here is a girl who is naive and doesn't know anything about the 'Real World' or how to navigate it safely and correctly. now pay close attention: the good guys are the ones who help her grow and explore new things while still respecting her own perspective and feelings, not making her feel stupid. the bad guys are the ones who tell her that she is too weak/immature/naive to do the things she wants to do, because she is fragile and needs protecting." and I watched this when I was nine years old and it resonated deep in a part of me that I couldn't articulate with words yet.

[classicalcanvas]

Spring (1896) by Alphonse Mucha

[what-even-is-thiss]

Witch: Ah, so you've come to me.

Maiden: Yes. I need your help.

Witch: Unwanted baby?

Maiden: No?

Witch: Want someone dead?

Maiden: What? Of course not.

Witch: That's all I know how to do. What do you need?

Maiden: I'm starting to see why you were shunned from the village.

Witch: Yes, I've killed a lot of people. What do you need?

Maiden: There's a pox in the village.

Witch: It wasn't me this time.

Maiden: I know. Can you fix it or not?

Witch: No. I'm not licensed for that.

Maiden: What do you mean you're not licensed for that?

Witch: I got kicked out of the herbalist's coven.

Maiden: For killing people?

Witch: For killing people.

Maiden: Great, now what do I do? There isn't another witch for at least three towns over.

Witch: And he's an enchanter blacksmith type. Makes protective amulets and beefs up swords. Makes really good horseshoes. Can't fix poxes. Makes a mean rabbit stew though. And...

Maiden: And is very good at sex and hard to kill, yes everyone knows that. You tell us repeatedly. Even though we kicked you out.

Witch: It's important. How are you not dead yet, by the way? You're an adult and you haven't bought anything yet so you should be dead by now.

Maiden: I'm not into people that way. Your weird sex based spells don't work on me. That's why I'm the one that came.

Witch: I would branch out but I'm barred from taking more classes at the guild. Because of the murder.

Maiden: Right, well I'm gonna go before you poison me.

Witch: What about the pox?

Maiden: I do have a mild form of it so you've been exposed too. Someone of your age is much more likely to die from it.

Witch: What?

Maiden: I'd suggest you find an accredited friend that hasn't been convicted of unnecessary murder.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Maiden: I have come a long way to find you.

Enchanter: One second. (throws a sword over his shoulder where it crashes into several metal tools and starts glowing)

Enchanter: Okay, what do you need?

Maiden: There's a pox in my town.

Enchanter: (pulls an amulet out of his pocket and holds it over her head)

Enchanter: You don't seem to have it, but it's touched you.

Maiden: I got better. Can you help?

Enchanter: I enchant swords. Why are you visiting me?

Maiden: Because the only witch in our town is...

Enchanter: Wait, don't tell me. Are you from Ravenfalls?

Maiden: Yeah.

Enchanter: Tabatha. Of course. That quack.

Maiden: She only kills people and does abortions.

Enchanter: Oh no she doesn't do abortions. She just drowns babies. I don't even think she knows what a fetus is.

Maiden: Oh.

Enchanter: Yeah. Terrible cook too. Normally herbalists are pretty good at cooking but she's just...

Maiden: The worst. I know. Do you at least know who can help? All of our elders and babies are dropping off like flies. People are strapping chickens to their arms. It's a mess.

Enchanter: (clicks tongue a few times) The nearest guy that specializes in pox is in the mountains. Not the coast range but the big angry looking pointy ones to the east. What were those called again?

Maiden: The Death Mountains?

Enchanter: Yeah, those. Unfortunate name, really. They're almost tolerable in the spring and summer. Don't know why they live there though.

Maiden: Can you teleport me there?

Enchanter: Why do people always ask that? Look I don't know what you've been hearing from Tabatha or traveling merchants but that's not safe for living creatures.

Maiden: Then what do I do? By the time I get back half the population will either be dead or still have birds strapped to their arms.

Enchanter: I hate to suggest this but you could like... with a shapeshifting dragon? And then ask for a wish?

Maiden: I'm not into people or dragons that way.

Enchanter: Then I guess I'll see if I can do something for your horse's shoes but that won't be nearly as fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Maiden: I have...

Herbalist: Come a very long way to see me. I know.

Maiden: How did you...

Herbalist: Everyone says that. Come sit. Do you like tea?

Maiden: I don't have time for tea. My village has a pox.

Herbalist: Which pox?

Maiden: It's mostly affecting older people and it's... purple.

Herbalist: Oh. What shade of purple?

Maiden: Very bright.

Herbalist: Oh, that's not a pox. That's a curse. Or a curse mixed with a usually just annoying pox. Someone in your area has probably pissed someone off.

Maiden: I'm from Ravenfalls.

Herbalist: In that case I think we can both guess who brought forth someone's ire. Who created it though, still remains a mystery. In any case, you can buy this bag of weeds and instruct people to boil them in small batches and inhale the steam. It won't cure anything, but it will most likely help people breathe better, which may help them survive long enough to fight it off.

Maiden: What do I do about Tabatha and the people strapping chickens to their arms?

Herbalist: My dear, some things can't be fixed completely. Plant this all over your town though and Tabatha will most likely avoid you. You can have these for free.

Maiden: I'm not going to bring some magic plant into town unless I know what it is.

Herbalist: Oh, it's not very magic. It's a cedar tree I've enchanted to grow very quickly. She's deathly allergic to cedar wood and pollen.

Maiden: Oh.

Herbalist: I really can't do anything for the chickens though. People will do strange things when they're desperate.

Maiden: Will I ever know who cursed us?

Herbalist: You may or may not. Wile you're here though, would you care to buy a love potion?

Maiden: I'm not into people that way.

Herbalist: You wouldn't fit in at the witches guild then. That's why most of us go in. It's a very good profession for swingers.

Maiden: That's why I went into city government. Well, thank you for all that.

Herbalist: And thank you for visiting. Tell the enchanter that I said hi and tell Tabatha to take a hike for me.

Maiden: I will. You have my word on that.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Enchanter: Hello.

Maiden: Enchanter? What are you doing here?

Enchanter: My name is John.

Maiden: It feels weird to call you that. You're the magic blacksmith I met on my quest.

Enchanter: I understand. So do you know who I'd talk to about renting a lot here?

Maiden: For what purpose? Oh, right. Me. Talk to me about it. I manage Lord Raven's lots and do logging and hunting permits and collect rent and whatnot

Enchanter: I want to set up my shop here. Business is better here for weapons and ever since she moved out, well...

Maiden: Was she after you?

Enchanter: She was under the impression that we were still married.

Maiden: Yes, she definitely was. Well, I think I can set you up. The village will benefit from having a reputable witch nearby. I'll get you in contact with a carpenter and scout out a spot for you.

Enchanter: Wait, I have something for you.

Maiden: An amulet?

Enchanter: For keeping away unwanted romantic advances.

Maiden: (covers her mouth and starts crying just a little bit)

Maiden: Sir, I can't...

Enchanter: You drove away a person that made my life a living hell for years. You saved your town. You drove out a murderer. You went into the Death Mountains in the middle of the winter. Take it.

Maiden: (takes it) John, did I ever tell you when we met that I desperately wanted to become friends with you?

Enchanter: No, but once I'm moved in I think we can give it a try.

Maiden: I'll get the paperwork and meet you at the tavern. Dinner's on me.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I'm so happy whenever people know exactly where I was going with something.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m a fiction writer and tumblr is where I put my ideas that are too stupid to try and publish or don’t give me enough inspiration to fully flesh out. I’m this weird all the time. This one just happened to get some attention.

[insaneandlovingit]

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

[problemnyatic]

desired you while the women flee

[j-walking]

Over-protective boyfriend

[cloudmancy]

dear august cloudmancy, do you have any horse drawing tips and if so, would you be so kind to share them with the class if you have the time?

I'm still in China, so stuck on mobile + without my drawing tablet, but I'll post my horse sketches and a modified version of my general animal drawing tips:

Horses, like any other animal, are 90% shapes. You want to get good at drawing these shapes. The most important place to start for a horse are at the SHOULDERS. You want to draw starting with the intention of the ENTIRE horse in mind. Don't do a bunch of disconnected hooves and legs and horse head shots until you're actually comfortable knowing what connects where. Doing a bunch of piecemeal 'studies' before you understand the whole animal's shape is a trap and a copout! You can see in my cleaned up horse lines that I always always draw out the shoulders, hips, and haunches.

Horses are hard for people to draw because their legs are weird. So this seems obvious to say, but get good at understanding their legs. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who go "horse bendy noodle legs hard" and leave it at that. It's best to look at a diagram of horse and human homologous limb structure, because then you can understand why they bend in the places they do. Like in math, actually understanding horse leg anatomy than simply memorizing what they look like at one angle is better, because then you can extrapolate what they look like from any angle using fundamental theorems.

In general, tracing over photographs of real horses is VERY helpful. Try tracing over an image that's been lowered to 20-30% opacity, then get rid of the photograph and redo your lines until it looks 'right' to your eyes. Drawing any animal, including horses, competently isn't about ACCURATELY FOLLOWING every single curve and crevice, it's about getting the shapes right.

[wigglybunfish]

in which murderbot is a very normal terracotta soldier and ART the dragon spirit of a chinese junk who dwells in the ship's keel. they meet in the ming dynasty perhaps, when ppl are sailing places extra willy-nilly.

*Nüwa is the mother goddess in chinese mythology, known for creating humanity from yellow clay and repairing the sky.

thank you @mutualrapport for hosting the event! original prompt below.

[drawn for the prompt: an AU of ART and MB's first meeting and conversation - e.g. another look at their first meeting from a fantasy, historical, or (non-canon) sci-fi lens! Any perspective is fine. The only constraint is that it cannot be set in the canon universe. Any visibly non-canon AU- fantasy, human, historical, etc. - anything goes!]

[antiqueanimals]

Basil Nightingale (British, 1864-1940). A Chestnut Hunter in a Landscape, 1893. Oil on canvas.

MutualArt

[antiqueanimals]

Basil Nightingale (British, 1864-1940). A Bay Horse and Chestnut Horse with a Fox in the Mist, 1914. Oil on canvas.

MutualArt

[antiqueanimals]

Basil Nightingale (British, 1864-1940). A White Squall, 1917. Watercolor, gouache, and charcoal.

MutualArt

[uss-emberprise]

‘I shouldn’t have eaten that last pilot’ GUILLERMO 😭😭

[womblegrinch]

Sir Alfred James Munnings (1878-1959) - The grey mare

Oil on canvas. 25 x 30 inches, 63.5 x 76.2 cm.

Estimate: £100,000-150,000.

Sold Sotheby’s, London, 6 June 2007 for £204,000 incl B.P.

[danielkahndyke]

sorry it’s actually so fucking crazy thinking abt how certain places have banned burqinis like literally making a woman take her clothes off in public like that shit is so fascist

[rostekhorn]

I was thirteen when 9/11 brought all those culture war things into sharp focus, and it took me all of thirty seconds to realize the answer was "well, if a woman wants to wear that, she should, and if a woman doesn't want to wear that, she shouldn't, because the problem isn't the clothing it's the telling people what to do."

[crazy-pages]

Yeah!

"It's a problem when controlling sociocultural norms create rules (official and unofficial) governing how people dress, especially when those rules are used to enforce misogynist systems of control (even if some people would still choose to dress like that if given more choice)" is simply not an issue which can be resolved by implementing rules dictating the socioculturally normalized clothing women are allowed to wear!!! It's the kind of absurdity which can only be taken seriously by people who fully aren't thinking about it or are using it to justify bigotry

[rostekhorn]

It's the kind of absurdity which can only be taken seriously by people who fully aren't thinking about it or are using it to justify bigotry

There's always people who'll pop up to assure you that they're doing this thing in the name of secularism and rationality, that pushing back against Islamic social conservatism is just how we push back against religious fundamentalism in general, and that this has nothing to do with bigotry.

To which my reaction is always "Bill, look at the crowd behind you."

[tatooineknights]

someone: luke skywalker beat darth vader and ended the empire

everyone else in the galaxy:

everyone on tatooine:

[hyperewok1]

Imagine being the local jock from Toshe Station and turning on the news to learn that the guy you called “Wormie” in desert high school just killed the two most powerful people in the galaxy. 

[beatrice-otter]

Tags via jaquez45: #I think a lot about this #like the guy was a weird excitable nerd #but you had to tolerate him because #INEXPLICABLY #he was STUPID good as a pilot #like the t-16 orbital drop whomp rat champion since he was 13 #so you couldn’t just IGNORE him and his fucking nerdery #and his being super awkward CONSTANTLY #and one day his farm is burned and his family is dead #you assume he’s dead too and you feel kind of bad for mocking him now #but then #space radio is like LUKE SKYWALKER BLEW UP A SPACE STATION #LUKE SKYWALKER KILLED THE EMPEROR #and you just #kind hope he never decides to get revenge for the wormie thing

[whetstonefires]

oh also turns out he came back to town and killed the mob boss who controlled everything and then left again without buzzing any of his former acquaintance so probably you’re Beneath his Notice; mixed feelings about that

[depsidase]

[theaceofwords]

It's called the Global Justice Report, it is here. This is an actionable plan which can be sent to legislators and demanded of political parties. We could save the world within our lifetimes.

It has always been possible. It is still possible.