a heart's a heavy burden

[wxlfbxte]

welcome to my blog

i am a csa/abuse survivor breaking ties with my abusers and healing from my trauma one step at a time

i have c-ptsd and being treated for such and am on medication for depression/bipolar/adhd

i'll be posting mainly mental health reminders, some vents (tagged), and more

im 26, lgbtq, neurodivergent, and mixed race

i use they/them

DNI: minors, proshippers, trolls

[flowrrs4u]

I am good. I am loved.

[wxlfbxte]

5/15/26

the world is cruel and leaves me feeling bad about myself and my existence and even my race

why am i an abomination and a burden for existing within a space i am forced into

why is this still an issue

why is being white and asian an issue? i am fully aware of the white privileges i have, and even when asian employees at restaurants give me more and are more friendly to me for being asian, but i am asian too.

i grew up in a white state, in a white town, with so much racism and hate

my own mother whitewashed me until i could do my own paperwork and mark the correct races

and all bc of jealousy? what jealousy? jealous of me being hated on, fetishized? ostracized? for being exotic??

and now the internet has gone through the cycles, claiming it for the sake of inclusivity to the point of horseshoeing and now wasians are an abomination and disgusting because at the end of the day, they are still white and thats what matters

it hurts so much

when will i belong

[wxlfbxte]

i want romance and to feel loved. i want to be won over. i want i want i want

[corrodedparadox]

Get well soon!

[corrodedparadox]

What you’re made for

[wxlfbxte]

4/13/26

i feel used and disgusting

i feel like a burden, that my needs are too much

i only exist to please others and never myself

i long to be yearned for, to be fought for, to be adored by you - but i feel used and so sad

i feel like im 12 waking up to evil using me

i feel like im helpless

i feel like i cant exist for myself

i feel like im drowning in my own sorrow and woe

[ferncloud]

im here for you

[wxlfbxte]

i wish i had my mom

[titsay]

[cottaegecore]

[wxlfbxte]

less serious but a lot of emotions rn as i wanna make a boundary w my mom to divorce my stepdad and then i want to talk to my siblings about it all and then ny favorite artist is touring and oh so much rn so much

[wxlfbxte]

update: got tickets to djo, talked to my siblings (brother vaguely knows, other sib is like on board but also thinks mom might already be considering it), and i havent talked to mom yet but its ok we'll get there

[wxlfbxte]

less serious but a lot of emotions rn as i wanna make a boundary w my mom to divorce my stepdad and then i want to talk to my siblings about it all and then ny favorite artist is touring and oh so much rn so much

[softbroken]

I DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM

[fangthroat]

target

[onecells]

[traumatizeddfox]