The Wytrykus Archives

[wytrykusarchives]

The Milt Kahl Head Swaggle (Source: Cartoon Brew)

[wytrykusarchives]

This post is my online legacy. Pretty sure more people have read, liked and reblogged it than anything original I’ve ever made.

[wytrykusarchives]

Okay, Disney. Here’s my pitch: The Muppet Star Wars Trilogy. Remake the original three movies — Episodes IV - VI — and only those three, replacing all actors with Muppets except for the following.

Darth Vader: The main bad guy of any Muppet movie is always a human actor, so we shall keep this tradition. But the man in the suit must absolutely, unequivocally be Hayden Christensen. This is not up for debate. He’s earned it. Use that James Earl Jones AI for the voice if you want. (The Emperor should, of course, be portrayed by Pepe the King Prawn.)

Jabba the Hut: I think the absolutely funniest thing Disney could do in a Muppet Star Wars remake is get a big fat Irish guy to play Jabba the Hut. In fact, let’s keep it in the Star Wars family. Jabba should be played by Brendan Gleeson.

Yoda: He’s already kind of a Muppet, so we could keep him. But I think it would be much funnier if Yoda was played by a live action Frank Oz. Just regular human Frank Oz using his normal speaking voice, but still talking all backwards.

Muppet Cast Luke Skywalker: Piggy is obviously going to be Leia so Kermit should not be Luke. Luke should be played by Walter from the 2011 movie.

Princess Leia: Miss Piggy. Duh. Weren’t you just listening?

Han Solo: This is where we will cast Kermit.

Chewbacca: Fozzie Bear.

C-3PO & R2-D2: Bunsen & Beaker.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Pops.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Sam the Eagle.

General Dodonna: Rowlf the Dog. We will also use him for General Rieekan in TESB and General Madine in ROTJ.

Wedge Antilles: Scooter

Figrin D’Ann and The Modal Nodes: Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. They will also play the Max Rebo Band in ROTJ.

Uncle Owen & Aunt Beru: Wayne & Wanda.

Stormtroopers: Penguins.

Lando Calrissian: Gonzo the Great. It means we have to wait a movie to get him, but the casting is too perfect.

Lobot and Cloud City security: Camilla and chickens.

Boba Fett: Lew Zealand.

Emperor Palpatine: Pepe the King Prawn, as mentioned.

Rancor: Sweetums.

Salacious Crumb: Rizzo the Rat.

Gammorean Guards: Link Hogthrob, Julius Strangepork, other pigs.

Mon Mothma: Annie Sue.

Admiral Ackbar: Swedish Chef.

Ewoks: Let’s just make them look like the actual Ewoks but Muppets instead of little people in suits.

Make it happen, Disney!

[heckyeahponyscans]

The fact that “dolls having a tea party” has stuck around in the public consciousness is fascinating to me.

Like, back in the Old Days that would be a way that women would actually socialize.  So if a girl had a doll tea party, she was imitating her mom / other contemporary women.

But these days contemporary women don’t have tea parties. So now, the idea of “dolls having a tea party” is an echo of an extinct behavior, only repeated and referenced because it used to be so prevalent.

So a Barbie in a big hat themed for a tea party is a bit like if they made Transformers that turned into stagecoaches and horse-drawn buggies.

[mysticsybil]

Like I wouldn’t buy the fuck out of stagecoach transformers

[kradeiz]

Prime and Prejudice

[wytrykusarchives]

It’s honestly criminal that there aren’t already Old West and/or Steampunk Transformers toys. They did a comic book about it once.

[kermitmentpod]

FLEECED: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY (2025)

Directed by Rian Johnson

[sirfrogsworth]

The circle is complete.

[megamindsupremacy]

Actually my favorite part of Glass Onion was that random fucking dude on the island. What the fuck was he doing there. I thought Darryl (Derrick? David? ??) was like foreshadowing for something or he’d be the twist killer but NOPE he literally was just chillin. Some random lady breaks into his room COOL this detective guy wants to smoke with him SURE the GODDAMN HOUSE EXPLODES? Yeah why not he wasn’t using it that much anyways. Randomass guy you are my hero

[ghoulpepperv]

He was there because he going through some things.

[wytrykusarchives]

The boring reason is because Rian Johnson includes the actor in everything. He was also Trooper Wagner in Knives Out.

[frankdelflno]

Surnames are just as important as given names. So, I compiled a list of the websites I use to find my surnames.

English Surnames

Dutch Surnames

Spanish Surnames

Scottish Surnames

German Surnames

Italian Surnames

Irish Surnames

French Surnames

Scandinavian Surnames

Welsh Surnames

Jewish Surnames

Surnames By Ethnicity

Most Common Surnames in the USA

Most Common Surnames in Great Britan

Most Common Surnames in Asia

[bee-earthly]

[old-manrupee]

For whoever needs these.

[dragons-arrow]

I NEED THE ITALIAN LAST NAMES SO BAD

[ebvoice-deactivated20150727]

We are like fireworks…: Surnames Master Post.

[chronophobica]

Chinese surnames

Indian surnames

Indonesian surnames

Pakistani surnames

Bengali surnames

Japanese surnames

Filipino surnames

Korean surnames

Syrian surnames

Mongolian naming and clan names

Thai surnames

Asia is not a single country.

[analog-machine]

AND THEY’RE NOT FROM fantasynamegenerators.com SO THAT MEANS IT’LL BE EASIER TO PICK POTENTIALLY

[ravenadottir]

yesssss! for someone who overthinks names and surnames this is such a cool list!

[parkerflix]

please i need this for fics and ocs HDHSHSB

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[bogleech]

This is a lupin III episode whose English dub title was “but your brother was such a nice guy”

[unclerippuascension]

let’s go back to the vampire twin sister of jesus christ for a second i havent fully processed that part yet

[wytrykusarchives]

And here I thought “Dracula is actually Judas Iscariot” from Dracula 2000 was the most insane biblical vampire backstory.

[homunculus-argument]

One thing I’ve learned about writing is ”give everything a face”. It’s no good to write passively that the nobility fled the city or that the toxic marshes were poisoning the animals beyond any ability to function. Make a protagonist see how a desperate woman in torn silks climbs onto a carriage and speeds off, or a two-headed deer wanders right into the camp and into the fire. Don’t just have an ambiguous flock of all-controlling oligarchy, name one or two representatives of it, and illustrate just how vile and greedy they are as people.

it’s bad to have characters who serve no purpose in the story, but giving something a face is a perfectly valid purpose.

[tlbodine]

This is the real heart of “show don’t tell”

[tellmewhereithertz]

[itswalky]

Always reblog on Christmas

[wytrykusarchives]

Haven’t seen this one in a while so bringing it back.

[fade-steppin]

digging in my trash

[ldioticisland-deactivated202401]

hey. personality quiz right here right now. What did you do at recess. :)

[wytrykusarchives]

Mostly playing as Universal Monsters, Star Wars or Star Trek. Or playing with Transformer toys. In the winter, we’d be on the ice planet Hoth or playing Oregon Trail on the snow mounds that surrounded the playground. Definitely no sports.

[wytrykusarchives]

How is it no one ever tried to make a high school reunion movie starring all the actors from John Hughes’s ‘80s teen movies? They wouldn’t necessarily be playing the same characters. Just cast all the actors from The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller as people going to their 25th reunion, maybe with similar personality traits as their original characters. I feel like someone should’ve made that movie like 10-15 years ago.

[wytrykusarchives]

Anyone else getting tired of playing whack-a-mole with the bot accounts on here?

[gffa]

Every time I think about, “Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend.” I start laughing because IT HAPPENED LIKE TWELVE YEARS AGO and THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE WERE SIDIOUS AND PLAGUEIS like there’s no way for the Jedi to even know this story existed, it’s not a millennia old tale, it was INCREDIBLY RECENT and they were Sith Lords IN HIDING, yet Palpatine just says that entire story with his whole chest like Anakin’s never going to go go the Jedi and say, “Hey, what’s up with never telling me about that Sith Legend Darth Plagueis?” so the Jedi can go “who the fuck is Darth Plagueis????” and Palpatine is RIGHT, Anakin’s brain is just like a hamster on a squeaky wheel, “oh okay I don’t know enough to tell if that’s true or not but I’m just gonna believe it”.  ABOUT A STORY THAT HAPPENED A DECADE AGO, NOT SOME ANCIENT HISTORY.  The absolute gall of Sheev Palpatine, there will never be another villain like him, he’s the bestworst.

[gffa]

#the funniest part about it for me is that it’s probably not even that uncommon of a story with the Sith#say Anakin did go demand the Jedi tell him about this#they’d tell him they’ve never heard of a Plagueis but sure lots of Sith were convinced they’d found the secrets of immortality#never worked out for them#and getting murdered in their sleep by their apprentice? a dime a dozen with the Sith#“the chancellor is probably just conflating various stories about historical Sith…wait why was he talking about Sith legends anyway?” (via @jedi-order-apologist) I am crying at the idea that Jocasta Nu, after being asked by a manic Anakin Skywalker about the Darth Plagueis legend, says she doesn’t know anything about that name, but she does have a dozen other stories about various elements that sound halfway familiar, so perhaps this is an amalgamation of various other stories, and she dumps like TWENTY VOLUMES of encyclopedias about the Sith in Anakin’s lap and says, okay, everything you need to know is in these books.  And Anakin is saved from diving face first into the dark side through the power of him falling asleep in the third volume in the middle of the Jedi Archives because a) he hasn’t slept in a week and b) they’re not nearly as exciting as he thought they’d be.  Jocasta just drapes a cloak over his shoulders and leaves him be with a soft pat to his back, he looks like he needed the rest.

[gffa]

#the idea of jocasta being like ‘hmm yes im afraid the chancellor only has a layman’s understanding of sith legends’ is soooo funny (via @gil-estel) Jocasta’s reaction to hearing about Sheev’s story being, “Those citations sound like complete shit.” is absolutely sending me.  If you can’t properly cite your sources, Jocasta Nu isn’t buying your bullshit, Sidious.

[gffa]

#peer reviewed ✌️ #(unlike palpatine) (via @gil-estel) Jocasta submitting Palpatine’s “story” for peer review, which leads to the uncovering that he’s the Sith Lord because they have to look into his sources, is THE funniest way for the Jedi to find out about him being Darth Sidious.

[wytrykusarchives]

Every year that passes without Disney producing a Muppets adaptation of a literary classic is a year wasted.

[paramores]