Thank you for exactly the same.

❝I had a friend once. We ran together, when I was little. And I thought we were the same. But when we grew up, we weren’t. Now, she’s trying to tear the world apart and I can’t run fast enough to hold it together. The difference… is this. Pain is a gift. Without the capacity for pain we can’t feel the hurt we inflict.❞ { indie rp account for the 12th Doctor. oc and crossover friendly. check out about! }

[movedto-trainedfighter-blog]

SEND ME MESSAGES AS MY MUSES DISAPPOINTED PARENTS.

[x12th]

//like this for a starter? :)

[fxcedtheraven-deactivated201604]

@x12th

(✭)  “When I said, show me something cool, I meant somethin’ awesome, not to be taken to Russia durin’ winter.” 

[x12th]

"D’you mind not blamin’ me for everything? You come up with somehing cool for a change, you’ll find out how difficult it is.”

“Besides, you have no idea what’s out there! Could be anythin’, including something ‘awesome‘. Don’t judge a book by its cover, Clara, nobody likes that.”

[x12th]

☚

Your muse grabs my muse and pulls them close! Send ☚ for my muses reaction!

“What did I do this time, Clara? I didn’t say anything!”

[x12th]

"Is there a problem?"

@hot-space-lady

“He’s a bit...”

“...mediocre.”

[x12th]

“Don’t touch him!”

Send “Don’t touch her/him” to see my muse’s reaction to your muse defending them against a physical threat @earthsdefense

Ooh, he hadn’t been expecting that. No matter how mouthy the man had gotten with him, no matter the gun that he had pulled out. The Doctor was definitely surprised. --..Had Rose always been like this?

“...”

“Y’didn’t have to punch him.”

[memesforu-blog]

Send “Don’t touch her/him” to see my muse’s reaction to your muse defending them against a physical threat

[x12th]

The Doctor dropped his hand and got comfortable on the chair, looking away from her a little. “Make sure you drop that note off first.” He glanced to her. “And I will find someone. I might change it up a bit this time, go for an alien. Or someone who isn’t from the UK in the 21st Century. Ohh, that reminds me, did you ever meet Jack? Captain Jack Harkness. The name sound familiar to you at all?”

[everybodyelsedying]

“Yes, we’ve met. We get drinks every few decades,” Ashildr smirked. “He tends to have a lot of questions about you. Perhaps you should stop by. Give him a little hope. He and I are different. He’s not gifted with the ability to forget. He’s lost some people that he feels very acutely. He has rather a lot more drama than I’m that keen to be involved in and I have tried rather hard to keep my name out of the history books. That includes Torchwood’s files.” 

[x12th]

“Yeah- I’ve been meaning to visit. Always one adventure away from doing so.” Not an excuse. He knew that. But for some reason, he felt certain that he didn’t want him and Clara to meet. Probably because of how flirty Jack was. Maybe he would’ve gotten jealous. He didn’t know. But he did know that he would try and visit. He owed Jack that much.

[x12th]

He held the journal out to her. “Keep it for another century or so. Give it back to me when I get another companion, somewhere in the middle of our time together. This- this journal, it’s probably going to be a good read. I want to make sure I appreciate it.” In other words: too soon. He felt it while he was writing that note. He needed a little more time to get over her, to allow his subconscious, to get over her. Memories or not, he knew how important she was to him. 

[everybodyelsedying]

She took the journal, “She’d be proud of that, Doctor,” Ashildr offered thinking it was probably the wisest choice he could have made. She tucked the journal away as well. “The one benefit of all of this is that I now have a TARDIS. I could take this to that you right now. Much better than the slow way around.” She paused. “You should find a companion. You know it’s far better for you than the alternative.”

[x12th]

The Doctor dropped his hand and got comfortable on the chair, looking away from her a little. “Make sure you drop that note off first.” He glanced to her. “And I will find someone. I might change it up a bit this time, go for an alien. Or someone who isn’t from the UK in the 21st Century. Ohh, that reminds me, did you ever meet Jack? Captain Jack Harkness. The name sound familiar to you at all?”

[x12th]

With a hesitation, he placed the journal on his lap and pulled out a small notepad. Flicking it open, he wrote:

‘I once told my granddaughter to carry on. To go forward in all of her beliefs and prove to me that I wasn’t mistaken in mine. I intend to do that for you, Clara. I am proud of you, so very proud. And I thank you. You helped me become who I am today. You saved me. You gave me hope.

So you stay strong for me, yeah? And I’ll stay strong for you.

- The Doctor‘

He ripped it out of his notebook and folded it, holding it over to Ashildr. “You can read it, but please make sure that she gets it.” He looked over towards her, before leaning back and picking up the journal. He looked it over, before hesitating. He closed his eyes, and lowered the book again. “Can you do me another favour, Ashildr?”

[everybodyelsedying]

“I won’t promise I’ll do anything you might ask, but I will do a favor for you within reason,” She offered leaving an out for herself should it be needed. She trusted the Doctor, but she knew that he couldn’t always see clearly. 

“She had a good life. Nearly a century since we saw you last,” Ashildr offered. “But a life within death can never be a full life. When I tell you that she’s ready, I’m being genuine.” 

She took the slip of paper from him and scanned it before nodding and putting it in her pocket.

[x12th]

He held the journal out to her. “Keep it for another century or so. Give it back to me when I get another companion, somewhere in the middle of our time together. This- this journal, it’s probably going to be a good read. I want to make sure I appreciate it.” In other words: too soon. He felt it while he was writing that note. He needed a little more time to get over her, to allow his subconscious, to get over her. Memories or not, he knew how important she was to him.

[x12th]

He couldn’t argue with that. Maybe she had a point. It was one thing, holding onto her memory and treasuring the time they spent together in a good light. It was another to be radically obsessed with ensuring that she stayed alive. He understood both sides of the coin, and in his mind… although he wanted to treasure her memory, he knew that he wouldn’t have gone through everything he did, for nothing.

And so he was left with her journal in his hand. He closed his eyes, before moving to take a seat beside Ashildr. “One question. Would you be able to send a message back to her before she gets to Gallifrey?” He looked towards her.

[everybodyelsedying]

“I could, yes,” Ashildr agreed and believed she could leave without doing so if the situation became too tenuous. She wasn’t convinced this man had lived long enough to change from the person he had been. “But I would encourage you to ask if it would bring her comfort in those moments or pain.” 

She sat back watching him and waiting to see what he made of the journal. She had spent a great couple of years wondering if this was a wise decision.

“You’ve been happy in this time you were separated. Don’t forget that part, Doctor.” 

[x12th]

With a hesitation, he placed the journal on his lap and pulled out a small notepad. Flicking it open, he wrote:

‘I once told my granddaughter to carry on. To go forward in all of her beliefs and prove to me that I wasn’t mistaken in mine. I intend to do that for you, Clara. I am proud of you, so very proud. And I thank you. You helped me become who I am today. You saved me. You gave me hope.

So you stay strong for me, yeah? And I’ll stay strong for you.

- The Doctor‘

He ripped it out of his notebook and folded it, holding it over to Ashildr. “You can read it, but please make sure that she gets it.” He looked over towards her, before leaning back and picking up the journal. He looked it over, before hesitating. He closed his eyes, and lowered the book again. “Can you do me another favour, Ashildr?”

[x12th]

“You don’t understand, I’ve moved on from her, I’ve…” He trailed off, his eyes falling on the journal. With a hesitation, he looked back up towards her.

“…She wrote this?” He questioned, his eyes drifting back to it. She wasn’t wrong. This… if true, was perhaps even better than a picture. The Doctor still ached to know what she looked like, but compared to her experiences? Her opinions, her adventures? He’d take them any day.

[everybodyelsedying]

“You’ve moved on from her because of the block, Doctor,” Ashildr reminded him. “The man you were when you tore heaven and hell apart for one human is still in there. And he is dangerous,” She sat down in a nearby chair. “So I’m going to stay here if you choose to read that and we’ll decide if we must use this again.” She felt confident they wouldn’t, but she had to be sure. “She was tired in the end. She was done. I need you to remember that.”

[x12th]

He couldn’t argue with that. Maybe she had a point. It was one thing, holding onto her memory and treasuring the time they spent together in a good light. It was another to be radically obsessed with ensuring that she stayed alive. He understood both sides of the coin, and in his mind... although he wanted to treasure her memory, he knew that he wouldn’t have gone through everything he did, for nothing.

And so he was left with her journal in his hand. He closed his eyes, before moving to take a seat beside Ashildr. “One question. Would you be able to send a message back to her before she gets to Gallifrey?” He looked towards her.

[everybodyelsedying]

“To what end, Doctor? What will knowing do other than drive to distraction? She didn’t want you to mourn her. Not anymore,” Ashildr said firmly. “What you need to know is that she cared about you deeply enough to be forgotten,” She reached in the breast pocket of her jacket all the same. “And she had nearly a century of fun after that. I made up for what I did to her,” She held out a journal. “Hers. No pictures and no video, but words and stories, you always prized those higher didn’t you?”

[x12th]

“You don’t understand, I’ve moved on from her, I’ve...” He trailed off, his eyes falling on the journal. With a hesitation, he looked back up towards her.

“...She wrote this?” He questioned, his eyes drifting back to it. She wasn’t wrong. This... if true, was perhaps even better than a picture. The Doctor still ached to know what she looked like, but compared to her experiences? Her opinions, her adventures? He’d take them any day.

[x12th]

End her story…. He understood. He remembered, after all. Everything. But her. She was going back to Gallifrey to die. Which… was fine. It was on her terms. He still couldn’t help the feeling in his hearts, though. As if all hope had been stripped away from them. He couldn’t do anything about it, although… this time, it.. it seemed to be easier than the last time.

“Do you have a photo?”

“A video, anything? Anything at all?” Because if there was one last wish he held, it was to see what she looked like. How she smiled. How short she was, how she spoke, what she sounded like. Her eyes, her face, her hair. He just wanted one memory. Just one. One certain memory that he could hold close to him and know that that girl - meant so much to him. She deserved that. She didn’t deserve to be forgotten.

[everybodyelsedying]

“As much as you are intrigued by the mystery of her, you wouldn’t want to see her. It would only be harder. You know this was necessary,” Ashildr reminded him. “Seeing her might trigger things that could make life harder on all of us.”

But Ashildr wasn’t without her compassion even after all these years and centuries and more. “But there’s something I can leave you…Oswald. Her last name was Oswald,” With that he could at least find information on her. “I won’t hesitate to use this if I must,” She held up another neuroblock. She did come prepared. 

“Use the information wisely, Doctor.” 

[x12th]

Oswald. Clara Oswald. That seemed... fitting. His eyes moved to the neuroblock, and with a small hesitation, he looked back towards her. “I remember everything already. All that I did for her, what she meant to me. I just don’t remember her. You know Clara Oswald, you know what she’s like. How she speaks, how she smiles. That is all I want. She doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. I’m not planning to save her, I understand that she’s gone and I’m never going to overstep that line again. I just want to put a face to the name. Please, Ashildr.”

[x12th]

“A message?” Well, that automatically snapped back his attention. He moved forward, eyes on her, and only her.

“…I’m listening.”

[everybodyelsedying]

“She said thank you and goodbye,” Ashildr told him. “She decided it was time to…end her story.” They had traveled for a long time, but now Ashildr was alone again. “I know it won’t mean that much, but I felt obligated to see her wish through and seek you out.” 

[x12th]

End her story.... He understood. He remembered, after all. Everything. But her. She was going back to Gallifrey to die. Which... was fine. It was on her terms. He still couldn’t help the feeling in his hearts, though. As if all hope had been stripped away from them. He couldn’t do anything about it, although... this time, it.. it seemed to be easier than the last time.

“Do you have a photo?”

“A video, anything? Anything at all?” Because if there was one last wish he held, it was to see what she looked like. How she smiled. How short she was, how she spoke, what she sounded like. Her eyes, her face, her hair. He just wanted one memory. Just one. One certain memory that he could hold close to him and know that that girl - meant so much to him. She deserved that. She didn’t deserve to be forgotten.

[x12th]

Open (post-Hell Bent)

“Clara? Yes, yes! Of course I remember Clara! How could I forget her? She.. uh. She was very important to me.”

[everybodyelsedying]

“You care about all of them, Doctor. It’s alright. I know you can’t differentiate her anymore. I have a message, though. From Clara.” Ashildr offered.

[x12th]

“A message?” Well, that automatically snapped back his attention. He moved forward, eyes on her, and only her.

“...I’m listening.”

[x12th]

Open (post-Hell Bent)

"Clara? Yes, yes! Of course I remember Clara! How could I forget her? She.. uh. She was very important to me.”