Some of the Akatsuki members in canon were always a bit underdeveloped, if you ask me. What do you think were each of their motivations to join Akatsuki? We have some explanation for Itachi and Obito, we can guess for others, like Kakuzu (money), but I'm drawing a blank with some... What about Hidan? Sasori? Deidara? Maybe I'm just blanking out on the episodes where it was explained ^^'
This was actually in a movie. I think like The Making of the Akatsuki or something I really don’t remember.
Kakuzu, Sasori and Kisame were three of the firsts to be brought in. I’m about to tell you exactly word for word everything that happened in these scenes, don’t fact check me, just trust me.
Kakuzu was hunting bounty and was like “wow you actually suck and I hate you” and Pein showed up like “hey, wassup. I got this cool organization. you wanna join? It’ll be lit.” Kakuzu was like “nah b. I’m gucci.” they fought, Kakuzu got his ass kicked and Pein was like “you sure, buddy? I mean you can do your bounty thing on the side” and Kakuzu was like “iight, bet fam.” and then joined the Akatsuki.
Sasori was just wondering through the dessert being a fuckin creep like normal and Konan was like “yo boi, wass good?” and Sasori was like “where tf did you even come from” and she was like “nah, don’t even worry about it. listen, uh, I got this cool organization, want in?” and sasori is like “gurl I kill people and use their decrepit bodies for a living?? so nah?? Imma do that” and she was like “ok but what if we fight” and Sasori is like “bitchhh. ok. Imma kick ur ass” and Konan was like “bitch, try me” so they fought, Konan won. Sasori was like “omg???? this never happened to me ever before I’m shook???” and Konan was like “yeah son, fuck with me boi. Now join the fuckin Akatsuki” and sasori was like “omg I will not only join but name my first born child after it” and shes like “but ur a puppet you don’t have a dick” and he’s like “wow I feel so called out.” then ranted about art for 6 hours and shes like “ok whatever gets you to join my bombass club” so now they have Sasori.
HIDAN was a fuckin nut job like always.Ok so Pein was like “listen, theres another immortal jackass. he’s not very important but he’s immortal so snatch that ass up.” and Kakuzu was like “dibs” and Oro was like “preach” so they left to get Hidan’s crazy ass. When they found Hidan he’s doing his normal crazy shit and everyone is like “omg why are you like this” and Hidan was like “I’m just super gay for Jashin. bless” and Kakuzu was like “you about to be super gay for me” and Hidan was like “what?” and Kakuzu was like “what?” and Oro was like “I don’t get paid enough for this BS.” Then Kakuzu was like “omg I could be literally doing anything else rn but here I am tryna get some.” and Oro is like “pls stop” Then Kakuzu insulted Jashin and we all know Hidan has a hard on for his religion so he’s like “thats a sin. I’mma kill you dead” then Hidan was like “eat a dick” and started swinging his scythe like a mad man.so then Kakuzu and Oro attack together and Hidan stares into this giant flame wall like :D because… he’s Hidan and he’s fuckin nuts. So anyway, Hidan gets his ass handed to him and he’s chillen on the ground and hes like “iight. well I’m gonna go.” and Oro was like “you need to join us.” and Hidan was like “fuck outta here with ur creepy face” and Oro was like “Wow rude” and then explained to Hidan “you can do your creepy religion thing and we can protect you. just join the Akatsuki.” and Hidan was like “ughhhhhhhhhhhhh ok.” so then they had Hidan.
Finally we got Deidara. Homeboy was doin him, chillen and doing his thing in a tower thing just playing with clay. Then Kisame and Itachi and Sasori show up from literally nowhere and Deidara was like “uh where did you come from?” and Sasori was like “when a mommy and a daddy lust each other very much-” and Kisame was like “omg hes like 6 years old stop this.” so Deidara was like “fuck you and your organization” and Itachi was all “we didn’t even talk about the Akatsuki yet” and Deidara was like “fuck you especially.” and Itachi was like “Wow. rude.” Deidara was like “If I beat you then you’ll leave me alone.” “Yes but if I win then you gotta join this lit squad.” and deidara was like “HAAAA, yeah right like I’ll lose.” Well, Deidara lost. And then swore a vendetta against Itachi and his special eyes™ and they forced him to join and yeah.
And that’s 100% word for word how the Akatsuki came together. Thanks for tuning in.
