⚡ S H O C K J O C K ⚡

[tinarannosaurus]

request (x)

[xlivewire-blog1]

@ofspeedforce B)))))))

[recklessdevotion]

Heavy breathing bc I thought MY laptop bit the dust… Thanks to my babe Marcel, I think it’s an easy fix, just gotta get to the store. Anyways… I’m mobile until that gets sorted. Yippie. B(

[xlivewire-blog1]

me: im gonna have a blog that doesn’t have matt bomer’s face all over it

mash: makes a lantern blog with matt’s face

me: -FOLLOWS ALL THE USUAL MATT BLOGS AND QUEUES A MILLION PICS OFMATT AND INVITES HAL THE PIECE OF TRASH TO SLEEP IN HER BED AND OFFERS TO FEED HIM-

me: .............................. me:........................................................... me: i have a problem and his name is matt bomer

@hxghball B((((((

[xlivewire-blog1]

@ollie-the-playboy

[text] You have a lot of amazing factors…

[ text; Ollie ] Oooh... nice... do go on, kind sir [ text; Ollie ] It’s not every day Mr. Amazing himself tosses out compliments like that ;)

[crayonboxhearts]

‘I Know’

[moonchild30]

I’m having an incredible time on this show. What I love about this show is that it is a heightened reality. So, it’s a challenge as an actor to bring those heightened circumstances, but also to find the truth in the material and make it relatable to anyone. But I’m having a blast.

[xlivewire-blog1]

[text]: You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

[ text; Pasha ] okay but…. Did you try that burrito???? He was TOTALLY an angel..it was the best burrito EVER

[xlivewire-blog1]

[text]:I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.

[ text; Queenie ] onion rings are literally the best. Thanks now I want some. You should totally bring me some :D

[ollie-the-playboy-deactivated20]

[text] Well what do I get in response?

[xlivewire-blog1]

[ text; Ollie ] onion rings obviously :P

[ text; Ollie ] and of course my stellar company :) :) :)

[ofspeedforce]

[ text; flashy ]: A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.

[ text ]: well, that’s your problem[ text ]: unless those mistakes involved me[ text ]: which i’m not sure of [ text ]: i don’t remember half of what had happened[ text ]: and to be fair that shouldn’t be possible[ text ]: did you give me something????

[xlivewire-blog1]

[ text; Flashy ] if by drug you mean did I alcohol you, then yes. I provided alcohol. [ text; Flashy ] You drank it willingly. A LOT. though... You shouldn't have gotten drunk hmmm...IDK maybe someone drugged us

[xlivewire-blog1]

[text]: Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.

[ text; GLOWSTICK ] I mean……. U know I still have them all on MY phone, right? B) 

[xlivewire-blog1]

[text]:I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.

[ text; Queenie ] onion rings are literally the best. Thanks now I want some. You should totally bring me some :D

[xlivewire-blog1]

Texts from Last Night inspired text starters [nsfw and sfw]

[text]: I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

[text]: I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

[text]: We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out

[text]: I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.

[text]: two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

[text]: I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass

[text]: Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.

[text]: According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

[text]: You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

[text]: I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.

[text]: What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"

[text]: Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.

[text]: YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.

[text]: Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.

[text]: I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.

[text]: I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...

[text]: You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it

[text]: I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool

[text]: I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.

[text]: Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.

[text]: A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.

[text]: OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE

[text]: Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.

[text]: Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him

[text]: I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.

[text]: I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"

[text]: Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.

[text]: I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.

[text]: Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.

[text]: I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.

[text]: When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.

[text]: Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.

[text]: i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?

[text]: That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.

[text]: I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock

[text]: I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night

[text]: Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car

[text]: I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress

[text]: Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?

[text]: Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.

[text]: I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there

[text]: She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?

[text]: We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.

[text]: So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together

[text]: That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.

[text]: I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that

[text]: Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant

[text]: Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night

[text]: I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.

[text]: Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.

[text]: I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.

[text]: How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..

[text]: Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you

[text]: I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family

[text]: You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

[emma-overland]

Reblog if I can throw a random RP starter sentence at you.

[hxghball-blog]

ok but is this not hal tho

[archivistsrock]

White Collar | Neal Caffrey’s blue eyes

[ofspeedforce]

baRRY U FLOOR ME

it happened onCE okay

oNCE 

[dcmarvelstuff]