ugh @xnly-see-yxu - Tumblr Blog

enough about golden retriever boyfriends, where are my chihuahua boys at

In their golden retriever boyfriends' purses

*puts a sweater and a silly little bow tie on you, and puts you in my purse* everyone gather around and look at my adorable chihuahua boyfriend!

#lmao #textpost

bgm05

wow players having to stand in lines for a quest because a relevant npc can only talk to one player at a time. is the funniest image on the planet

bgm05

i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.

thediscossessed

Literally this

derinthescarletpescatarian

My favourite is the guy saying, “This is like being at the dmv”

#lmao #textpost

ask-crammaster-ham

here’s the closeted furries “hey man… can u bum me a cig” and “the one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anyways”

if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo

ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE he’s trans in this au (;

ft John:

heritageposts

date of origin: 12th of september, 2017.

joeyclaire

happy birthday thomas jefferson miku binder

tenporcupines

A little “where are they now” for OP btw

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

bumblebeebats

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

Birds of Prey (2020)

muffintoppingprettyhard

Fuck this bitch. She’s just mad more people wanna fuck Pennywise than her.

I mean, look at him.

sonicrainbooms

what the genuine fuck are you talking about

#lmao #textpost #people can be so weird with harley im gonna start gatekeeping fr

Do you like poems?

yes! my favorites are The Tiger and the unnamed werewolf fridge poem

re-peysi

for context these are the poems

bunjywunjy

also I almost forgot but the r/ambien Gives Us The Sleep post takes a completely serious third place in my favorite poems list:

bunjywunjy

and COMING IN HOT at NUMBER FOUR on my list, it's Fragment 147! an accidental poem created when the original parchment containing a text by Sappho was used to stop a wine jug more than 2,000 years ago- eventually the wine dissolved most of the parchment, leaving just a few words and BOY do they prove that the Universe has a sense of irony.

bunjywunjy

coming back to this post again with the most recent poem to explode my entire torso like an overfilled balloon and jam everything back in slightly sideways, it's Mercy by actual published poet Rudy Fransisco!

#textpost

mrspider-deactivated20221213

Ever since that Steven universe smut blog turned out to be a republican senator I knew I’d never leave this hell site. You just don’t get drama like that anywhere else

im sorry What

mrspider-deactivated20221213

the way they just dropped this bomb and did not follow up. king

#LMFAOOO #texpost

spoil-mynight-deactivated201909

Favorite high school memory?

Leaving

#lmao #textpost

cowboy

is it me or does minimum wage bussy hit different? the stress of having student loans makes them so tight. i'm bored of my whole foods, globe trotting boyfriend. all that easy living has him way too relaxed if you know what i mean? i'll drive an hour just to see the bossy starbucks barista power bottom so i can hit it in his honda civic. they're the best mistresses, simple creatures. they're happy with just going to chili's and coldstone too. unlike my current LeLabo scented bottom with his stress-free, lasered bootyhole asking me to take him to michelin star restaurants so i can MAYBE get romantic, vanilla butt sex and then gets mad at me for getting the squirties on our egyptian cotton Frette sheets man who cares? i'm just trying to fuhq

I wasn't kidding when I said the full ask would instakill you

#texpost #lmao #jesus christ