I'm over 25. Engaged. Ellie Williams. Gamer. Lesbian. I love God.
No use of AI at all in any of my writings. I literally day dream about these little stories that I make up in my head. I also have an English Literature degree which means I have a deep appreciation for the human imagination when it comes to writing. I am NOT the best writer, but nonetheless I do write and you should too.
I see conversations about Ellie's character and whether she's some hardcore killer, pot head, serious, super pervy, and/or space nerd, loser, artsy fartsy, etc... I think the point is that her character has depth and she is able to be all the above! The game does a great job making Ellie a character that feels human. I mean when she's in Jackson and in a safe environment she's able to delve more into her interests such as art, gaming, playing guitar, and collecting comics. She even has time to entertain relationships (friendships, love interests (Cat), crushes (Dina)). The duality of her character stems from the trauma of witnessing Joel's death, SA (part1), and survivor's guilt, and later PTSD. Leaving the safety of Jackson exposes this more and more as she switches to her survival instincts and we get that darker aspects of her character.
The pivotal scene for Ellie where she is struggles the most with this duality is when she tortures Nora for answers. Also looking at Ellie at the end of the game returning to the farm house, she tries to return to that safe place and she feels softer and remorseful from the consequences of being pulled into seeking revenge.
She is a nerd, she can be soft, and with the reality of the world she lives in, she is also a selfish, obsessed, willing to be cruel. She is a survivor.
Thank you for staying for my TED Talk. Also I feel like I can write ESSAYS on this woman.
𝓹𝓸𝓿: you gave that astrophysics student a chance...
a/n : ☆ so I have been seeing those 'pov: you gave that IT student a chance’ and I was just inspired !! anyway, hope y'all liked it ! xx
p.s got the idea for the nsfw headcanons in church. also pls tell me you guys got the Collide reference 😭 i miss Collide sm :c.
c: astrophstudent!ellie x literaturestudent!reader , headcanons , short n' sweet (is 2,5k short??) , fluff , sfw & nsfw under the cut ;). mdni !!
astrophstudent!ellie whose brilliant idea of a hangout when you first met her is to conduct a sky survey on the rooftop of the physics department at 9pm in the evening. It was a last minute idea, she had homework and she wanted to impress you. In the end, you didn't find any new stars, but she made you giggle anyway.
astrophstudent!ellie who was astonished when you showed her around your room, finding nothing but books and books.
“Woah, you sure this is your room and not a library?”
You giggled, “Yes, I'm sure.”
astrophstudent!ellie who has more space paraphernalia than clothes. Her outfits mostly consist of hoodies or shirts—preferably a graphic tee—her pair of battered converse and her favorite ankle pants. The outfit is always put together with her messy half up and tangled earphones she never bothered to untangle.
astrophstudent!ellie who is persistent, she always manages to find you during vacant time. It wasn't hard to find you, most of the time she just really bumps into you whenever she's at the campus library.
Your noise cancelling earphones does its job great, but it's the pat on your shoulders that makes you look up from the book you were reading.
“Hey,” Ellie greets, an earphone on her ear, and two cups of coffee in her hand.
“Hey,” you smiled at her. “This is the third time you bumped into me this week.”
Ellie scratches the nape of her neck, “Yeah, coincidentally.”
You roll your eyes gently, “Please, Ellie.” you pulled out a chair next to you”Take a seat.”
She sits and gives you the other cup of coffee, “Here.” You examined the cup, “What's this?”
“It's coffee.”
“I know what it is,” you say, opening the cup and sniffing the liquid. “I'm just wondering why it is my favourite flavor.”
Ellie feigned surprise. “Huh, really?” she's trying really hard to hide her smirk, eventually she fails.
“Really.”
She shrugs, “Well then uh-, where's my thank you?”
You squinted at her, before saying thank you, fluttering your lashes at her. Watching her face blush is the most adorable thing you've seen
astrophstudent!ellie who's the smartest person you know and is also a stoner. You were shocked when you saw her with a joint at a random frat’s party. She hands it to you as she says,
“Astrophysics is not just space and stuff you know, there's always hard stuff, with stress.”
You just accepted it, taking a drag before saying,
“I don't care, I'm stressed too, and that's just with words, stories and stuff.”
“Hm, yeah,” she nods in agreement “how'd you get into literature?” she asks.
“I'm not good at math.” you reply.
“Oh.”
astrophstudent!ellie who asks for your help for writing her papers.
You two are sitting in a cold, quiet library. Your eyebrows are knitted together whilst skimming on Ellie's paper assignment, “Here,” you say, pointing at a word on the thin paper, “replace ‘big’ with another word.”
“Why? The number is big.” she counters.
“I know, but you’ve used the word for like 5 times already.”
“Fine. Got any big words for me?” she asks, clicking her pen standing by
“Yes, actually. Seeing that number, you could use the word Brobdingnagian-”
Ellie frowns visibly, “What? is Brobding- whatever the hell is that, even a word?”
“Yes, but I was just kidding. Just put down ‘enormous’.”
astrophstudent!ellie who randomly shows up in your dorm one random week with the most random lark.
There was a rap on your door one afternoon, you were done with your classes for the day and you were hoping for a quick nap when the sound came.
Right in the hallway of Wisteria Halls stood Ellie, with a backpack and a tote bag on her shoulders with a telescope lens peeking out.
“Hey, Ellie.” you greeted “what are you doing here?”
“Hi.” she breathes out “Sorry for showing up unannounced.” she pants, holding the frame of your door for balance, “I need you to do me a favour.”
You eyed her up and down, “Are you okay? Do you wanna come in-?” you stuttered “No- sorry, please come in.”
You let her get settled on the bed as you bring her a bottle of water, waiting for her to calm down and hopefully say the favor that made her run from the physics building to your residence.
“California?!” you said in a high tone you didn’t intended, Ellie practically flinched when she heard the name come out of your mouth. “I’m sorry. California?” you repeated.
Ellie crushed the bottle in her hand as she groaned, “I know, I’m sorry. I wouldn't even come to you if it wasn’t really this important. But it is- and I don’t have a car, I don’t know how to-” she rambled.
You sat down with her to calm her, “Hey, it’s” you tightly shut your eyes “fine. I- I’ll drive you.” you say as you get up, putting on your shoes and grabbing your coat.
Ellie looks up at you, “Really?’
“Yes.” you say, too quickly. “Ugh- we’re not even dating yet and you’ve somehow managed to drag me with you on an impromptu roadtrip.”
Ellie’s ear perked up on the word ‘dated’. She gets up from your bed, throws the bottle on the trash cans and leaned into the wall next to the mirror, where you hurriedly fixed your makeup. She laughs as she smirks lightly “So, I have a chance?”
You just rolled your eyes in response. “Come on,” you tossed your keys at her, “You're driving.”
astrophstudent!ellie who eventually caved in and asked you on a proper date. She appeared beside you on a bench in campus one day, a cup of your favourite coffee in her hand with the word ‘truce?’ spelled out. You took it with a smile, frowning at the word “Truce? We are not even fighting?”
“Yeah, but I sensed you were pretty upset about the other day. Y’know the whole driving me to California thing.”
“Oh.” you say “I’m not upset about that. Pissed off maybe because you bombed my planned nap.”
Ellie sighs “Yeah, well, sorry.” she apologizes, only looking and fidgeting with the cup on her palm.
You sipped on your coffee, and nearly choked when she finally asked, “Would you like to go out with me?”
You stopped, wiping your mouth with the sleeves of your shirt, smiling “What?”
Ellie turns to you as she asks one more time “Would you like to go out with me? I promise, this time no more sky surveys or helping me write my paper, and most importantly, no more spontaneous road trips to California.” she breathes out, like she’s been holding her breath for a long time, itching to ask that question to you.
You inched closer to her, taking the cup with her hand and putting it close to your lips, you could smell her espresso through the hole, “Yeah. I think I would like that.”
Finally, she lets out a sigh of relief, “Oh, okay, uhm. Thanks.”
“Aaand,” you added, “I think I would actually prefer sky surveys over coffee dates.”
astrophstudent!ellie who forgot to tell you something…like her last name.
It was one of those weeks where you're both busy, and don't have enough time for romantic dinners. So you both proposed a rather vague routine, and that is to have those “romantic dinners” in your respective dorms. You had the first dinner in your dorm, where you watched a movie on a random VHS tape you found in your garage and it was honestly hilarious. So now it was Ellie's turn to host.
You've actually never been to the Ride Hall, or where her room is located. On the way there, she tells you the time when she practically begged the coordinators to put her in this hall, she explains that Sally Ride was her favourite astronaut—or in her words Sally fuckin' Ride.
So you were surprised and was astonished when you saw it for the first time.
Ellie opens the door, “Welcome to my humble abode. Make yourself comfortable.”
“Woah.” is the only word that comes out of your mouth. Her room is not that messy, but it does have an intellectual nature to it. As there are telescope lenses, and telescopes on her window. Various astrophysics books, a laptop and her computer.
You scowled, “You have a balcony? Dude, what.” you say as you step outside, taking in the fresh night breeze.
“Yeah, this course has its perks.” She smirks “Huh, it's a very clear night tonight.” she mumbled.
“What's that?” you asked, turning while you asked as you didn't hear her sentence clearly. You find her perched on a stool, looking over her telescope. You stared at her, she looked hot, the way her fingers turn on the, and how she maneuvers the telescope to find a better angle.
“You’re staring.” She murmurs, her eyes never leaving the eyepiece.
“What? No I am not.” you say, feeling the warmth on your cheeks as the blood rushed.
“C’mere, take a look at this.” she responds, ushering you to be on the same height as her, you slid next to her as she made space for you to look inside the telescope, and what you saw was something spectacular. Inside, the moon looks brighter and clearer than it was in the sky, you could see all the craters, the moon's own imperfections, and the stars, twinkling, surrounding the moon.
“Holy fuck, that was so amazing.” you say as you pull back. Ellie chuckles, “Yeah, well, that's my reason.”
You smiled at her gently, that kind of smile that makes you slump next to her, staring at the sky.
An epiphany filled your mind.
“These telescopes are sick.” you announced, patting it.
“Yeah they are,” Ellie gets up, handing her hand out for you to use as a leverage to stand up, “Sickly expensive, too.”
You take her hand as you stand, “I bet. Are you like- secretly rich?”
A beat passed, “No.” Ellie answers as she hurriedly goes inside.
You went after her, scoffing and smirking as you walked, “Oh my god, Ellie. Are you like a what- a daughter of a-” you searched for words to put, the posters in her wall hinted the answer, “A frontman of a rock band? Any dude who's into rock?”
“Ugh, I don't want to do this right now.” she groans.
“Yeah, well I want to, I don't wanna suddenly see myself in a paparazzi shot.”
Ellie laughs, “There's no paparazzi. Alright, fine.” she says, sounding defeated. “My Dad is probably famous at some point, but he didn't pay-”
You gasped, “Who? Wait, is it-”
“Joel Miller.” She finishes your sentence, muttering the word as if it's prohibited.
“No! Okay, oh my god. Joel the Legend Miller?”
“That's actually the first time I've heard someone say that other than himself.”
You are in utter shock and disbelief, saying and screaming the word ‘what’ after every fact Ellie tells you.
In the end, when you've finally calmed down, Ellie sat opposite to you. Looking concerned as if you just ran over something.
“Are you okay now?” Ellie asks.
“I am dating a nepo baby.”
“What?”
“I can't believe you” you gestured at her “are a nepo fricking baby and you don't even look like it! You are such a nerd.”
“I thought you loved me being a nerd!” she exclaims.
“I do baby,” you say “I love you being a cool rock nerd.” you didn't even realize the significance of the word you just let go of, it was the first time you said it.
Ellie's face turned into a familiar shade of red, pink plush filled her cheeks, “You- love me?”
It was then in that moment you realized that yes, you did indeed love her. “Yes, Els. I do, I love you.”
you inched closer to her, holding her face into your hands, you traced the scattered freckles on her cheeks with your thumb, you admired the moss green of your eyes, and you could write a thousand prose about how beautiful it is.
“I love you when you bring me coffee during the afternoons, how you let me rest on your shoulders when I get tired.” you tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear, “I love you because you have the patience to listen to my rants, to all of my pieces for an assignment, and how you try so hard to hide the fact that you know it's about you, because your ears always get pink.” you touched her ear gently, “I love you when you tell me facts about space that I don't even know, I love you because you are passionate in your work, and because you wanted to learn a lot more about the universe that created us.”
Ellie's eyes visibly welled up, “Fuck, babe. I love you too.” she says, her lips surging to meet you in the middle. Her soft cupid bow crashing into your full ones, she likes to describe your kisses as a supernova.
You chuckled into the kiss, “You're a sap.”
“I'm a sap. I'm a sap for you.”
nsfw ahead !!
astrophstudent!ellie who fucks you how you wanted her to be. Her fingers are right where you want it to be, on that sweet spot that makes you spill her name out of your mouth, her tongue practically making out with your pussy.
astrophstudent!ellie who admitted that she was a virgin when you both had sex for the first time.
You're flabbergasted of course, the girl made you come twice, and you just learned that it was the first time she did that? Unbelievable. Unbelievably good.
When you asked her where she learned to do that, her answer was short. She just read about it.
astrophstudent!ellie who loses all cognitive functioning for five minutes straight when you first took your shirt off. She was a sucker for boobs, and likes to take her time with them, pinching and licking your nipples. Gives you goosebumps every time.
astrophstudent!ellie who literally perished when you offered to scissor for the first time. You were bored and wanted to fuck her this time.
The soft, dominant girl is long gone when her soaking pussy finally comes into contact with yours. She's panting and gasping after you've finished.
After she caught her breath, all she said was “I wanna do it again.”
astrophstudent!ellie who finally fucked you with her strap on spring break at her house. Where, she quotes, is soundproof and you can scream however loud you like.
You met her parents the next day deliciously sore.
When the break was over, she took the strap with her, unbeknownst to you. You then proceeded to have the best spring break ever.
astrophstudent!ellie who's the queen of aftercare, she doesn't leave you soaking wet and she cleans every drop of your release. She then plops beside you to tell you how great you took her and how amazing you are. She orders take out and makes sure that you are fully hydrated.
In the end, after you're full and satiated, she asks,
☁︎ modern!ellie x sex-hotline-operator!reader, very small mention of dealer!ellie
☁︎ summary: where ellie dials the wrong number and meets you instead.
☁︎ warnings: contains smut! 18+ only. top/dom!ellie, bottom/sub!reader, mentions spitplay/breathplay/overstimulation, mentions sexual interactions with men, dirty talking, guided masturbation (r!recieving), use of fem nicknames (babygirl, sweet girl, pretty girl, pup, puppy) let me know if i missed anything else pls.
☁︎ a/n: i feel like this kinda sucked bc towards the end i kinda rushed it, but i couldn't shake this idea n knew i had to write it. hope u like it bbs<3 also thank u to my bestie @elskittie for helping me figure some things out w this fic
☁︎ word count: 4,463
☁︎ 1-800-GIRLS part 2
phone call style story — reader is in italics, ellie is in bold.
monday, 12:45am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)
thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you, hot stuff?
uhh.. i just wanted to order a pepperoni pizza..
oh yeah? you want something hot and ready? i have something hot and ready for you.
ummm..
you hear some shuffling in the background, "jess! i think you gave me the wrong number!" the person comes back on the line again.
this isn't papa tony's cheesy pizza place?
....do you want me to roleplay as papa tony's cheesy pizza place?
woah woah woah! roleplay?? who the fuck am i on the phone with?
this is sugar from 1-800-GIRLS.....a sex hotline...for you know? phone sex.
PHONE SEX?? you hear the girl's voice yell in the background, "jesse! you ass! you gave me the number to a phone sex hotline!"
"does she sound hot?"
"well yeah, but—"
hey, you do know it's $1 a minute right? you've been on the line for almost 5 minutes, babe.
HUHH?? hell no..ok thanks sugar bear, or whatever. bye!
the line clicks off, and you shrug. sitting back in your bed to continue watching your favorite netflix show. you feel your work phone vibrate again, the name flashing 'bobby', a regular who frequents the hotline.
sighing and picking up your phone and holding it to your ear, you take a bite from your sandwich as you answer your 15th call this evening, "thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you, big boy?"
tuesday, 2:12am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)
thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you tonight, cutie?
hey....sugar.. i just- er- wanted to apologize for yesterday. my buddy got your number confused with a pizza place we really wanted to try. didn't mean to sound rude last night.
it's no issue, babe. don't sweat about it.
.......
.......
soooo.... is that the only reason why you called?
ellie didn't want to admit that she was attracted to 'sugar's' voice and that she'd been thinking about it all day during class. but also, ellie was high as a fucking kite, which gave her the courage to even dial the number again anyways.
i— uh— well— how does this whole thing work?
what thing? the hotline?
yeah..
well, you call me, we have phone sex or talk or whatever, and then you hang up. again, it's a dollar a minute.
okay, okay, i get it. so we can just talk? about anything?
yeah, if you want to.
sick.
ellie takes another drag from her joint, before speaking again.
so, do you like doing this? being an operator or whatever?
you let out a laugh, which ellie caught.
specify what you mean by 'like'?
i mean— this is your job. do you enjoy doing it?
ehh...i guess.
c'mon. you can be honest with me.
well, being a sex hotline operator has it's downsides. obviously helping old men jack off gets a little weird sometimes — they have some unusual fetishes.
oh yeah? what's been the weirdest one so far?
uhhh..i have this one regular who has me pretend i'm a ghost. apparently, having sex with ghosts is a real turn on for him.
what the fuck. seriously?
mhm, it's true.
shit, dude....i don't think i could ever do what you do. i dunno how you can do it.
well when you have college tuition and rent to worry about, the downsides don't seem all that bad.
holy shit, you're in college? how old are you anyways?
19.
that's crazy. we're around the same age. i figured you were a bit older.
how 'bout you? how old are you?
21.
not bad not bad. you're way different from the clients i usually get.
yeah? how?
considering my usual clients are 40 to 60 year old men who are married with kids and have secret fetishes, i'd say you're out of my ballpark.
ellie laughs.
how do you know i'm not secretly an old, 57 year old man who's married to my wife janet with three kids? and i have a balloon fetish?
you let out a giggle, adjusting your sleep shorts as you lay back down on your bed, completely invested in your conversation with this girl.
well, how can i appease your balloon fantasies?
i'm just fuckin' with ya. definitely not a man and i have the more normal kinks and fetishes.
is that so? what are the 'normal' kinks and fetishes?
uhhhh....well i'm into bondage, i love tying girls up..i dunno, just seeing them open and vulnerable does something to me. i'm into breathplay, spitplay, overstimulation, and i'm definitely a dominant so—
all you could do was gape as the girl went on her tangent, listing off every kink she could think of. you gulped, suddenly getting a bit nervous from this topic of conversation. you were experienced in the field of phone sex, but actual sex was a totally different world you had no practice in.
so, how 'bout you sugar?
...uhhh....i'm a virgin actually.
the other girl went silent on the other side of the line.
what? but you work as a sex hotline operator.
oh yeah- but— hold on, i'm getting another call. i'll speak to you some other time.
you hung up and threw your work phone across your bed, laying your head down on your pillows. talking to men was so much easier for you, so why do you get all caught up when you talk to a girl?
it was nearly 3:30am, so you decided to turn in and call it a night, mentally preparing yourself for a busy day tomorrow.
wednesday, 11:45am
sitting next to professor adams, patiently waiting for the students to turn in their quizzes, you try to focus on the text of your 'philosophy 101' book.
you were grateful that professor adams gave you the opportunity to be his teacher's assistant for a little bit of extra cash, and you weren't complaining either. the tasks he gave you were easy for a mere $16 an hour. still, it wasn't enough to support all of your bills, so you couldn't drop the hotline gig.
"and time! everyone hand your quizzes in to my TA, regardless if you finished or not," professor announced. all the students shuffled towards the front, handing you their quizzes as you neatly put them in a small pile.
"ah shit— let me put the date on that," a girl, with a very familiar voice spoke. looking up, you're greeted with the most attractive girl you've seen in your life. she had brunette hair and green eyes, with a small scar on her right brow. was this..? no, it couldn't be. that would be insane.
handing you the paper, her hand brushes against yours. you look down at her quiz, seeing in messy, scribbled black ink the name ellie williams.
slinging her backpack on one arm, she heads out the door, "jesse! wait up for me!"
leaving you in a daze, you were completely speechless by the idea that one of your new, favorite clients from your nighttime job is actually a student at your university.
saturday, 1:45am → 1:14:34 ongoing call with 401-890-6798 (cranston, RI)
thanks, sugar. will be calling you again at the same time next week.
no problem, sir. goodnight. dream of me.
sure will, babygirl.
the line clicks as the older man hangs up, and you shudder a bit, feeling uncomfortable after having to roleplay as a ghost, again.
sighing heavily, you place your work phone on your desk and pick up your real phone, opening instagram and scrolling on your feed as you mindlessly snack on some gummy bears.
you double tap to like some of your friends pictures, wishing you were out at a party, drinking some lukewarm beer and dancing with your girls to the latest tiktok hits.
but instead you were cooped up in your apartment, dirty talking old men through their fantasies and bearing witness to their guttural groans and masturbation. it was a shame that friday and saturday nights were your busiest evenings.
taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you ponder for a moment, your finger hovering over the instagram search bar.
fuck it, you thought, typing 'ellie williams' and hitting search.
the username @_elliewilliams pops up, and bingo. it was the same girl from professor adams class.
luckily her profile was public, so you take your time carefully combing through her instagram account, mindful not to accidentally like her posts or anything.
ellie's feed consisted of smoking weed, eating out, and hanging with her friends, jesse and dina. there were only two selfies she had posted — one of her and an older gentleman and one mirror picture of her in a grey hoodie and a light brown canvas jacket that made her look so good.
the ringing from your work phone caught you off guard, causing you to jump in your chair and exit out of the instagram app. you take a look at the number, and speak of the devil, it was ellie herself. she was the only jackson number that ever contacted you.
saturday, 2:10am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)
thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, sugar speaking. what can i do for you, handsome?
hey, sugar. just wanted to apologize for how our last conversation went. i probably pushed a boundary or something— i'm not sure if you're supposed to talk about personal things with customers— so, i'm sorry.
you let out a soft laugh.
why is it when you call me, you're always apologizing?
'cause i'm a fuck up, that's why.
nooo, that's not true. besides, don't worry about it. your question just caught me off guard, you know? never had clients ask things about me before i guess.
ahh, gotcha. so...were you busy before i called?
you shake your head, even though she was on the phone and couldn't see you.
uh, not really. my line doesn't usually get busy until...12 midnight ish.. it slows down by like 2 am though. how about you? what are you up to this friday night?
i just got back home from a party. business was slow and it was getting boring, so i dipped.
business? what business?
ah— well—
ellie silently cursed to herself, not wanting to scare you away with her current occupation.
if i tell you what i do, promise you won't get freaked out or anything?
you're talking to a phone sex hotline operator. don't worry.
you can hear her laugh from the other end.
well, fuck it, cat's out of the bag. i deal weed on campus and shit.
ahhh. i like that. is that how you can afford the minutes you spend calling me?
yup. i can stay on the phone for hours if we wanted.
maybe you'll be my only customer.
i wouldn't complain.
speaking of customers, do you want me to save your number under a specific name or nickname or anything? since i'm assuming you're gonna be a regular?
trying to confirm if it was indeed ellie you were speaking with, you sat on the edge of your chair, anxiety building in your belly.
what nicknames do your clients usually pick?
uhhh. master, sir, king, mister, alpha— umm and daddy.
something stirred inside ellie hearing that last nickname roll off your tongue.
you could just put me down as ellie.
got it.
what do i call you? do i just keep calling you sugar?
well, you're a customer. you can call me anything you like, but, for formalities and privacy, i can only tell you my hotline nickname — sugar.
okay, okay, that makes sense. you're not really allowed to have any personal or close relationships with clients, huh?
no, not really. mostly for safety purposes.
ellie was a little disappointed to know that she wouldn't be able to get to know the girl she was talking to beyond calling on the phone. she already felt herself getting attached. your voice was alluring and enticing, and she couldn't help but want to hear it more, and possibly put a name and face to who it belonged to.
but, i could bend the rules a little if i really wanted to.
yeah? let's see about that.
saturday, 4:45 am → 2:43:03 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)
oh my god! did you and your ex get caught??
you were enamored with ellie. the way she could keep a conversation going and the stories she told — you didn't wanna hang up.
no, no, no, luckily we hid behind a dumpsters before the cops could catch us. it's hilarious thinking about it now, but we were dumbass 18-year-olds back then.
you both were in fits of laughter, your belly aching and tears watering in the corners of your eye.
as you calmed down, you couldn't stop your mouth from asking a question that's been racking on your mind.
so, how long were you and your ex together?
uhhhh, about 2 years.
ohhh okay........are you seeing anyone right now?
ellie lets out a laugh, and you can hear her smile, even through the phone.
why? who's asking?
well, i was just— uhh—
i'm just fuckin' with you. nah, i'm not seein' anyone right now. single af.
okay, okay. good to know.
how 'bout you?
nope. i'm single too.
seriously?? how?
i dunno. just never found the right person i guess. also, working for this hotline has made me lose hope for relationships in general, some of these dudes call me and say all this stuff — while having a whole wife and family at home.
i think you're looking in the wrong place then. try talking to people at school or going out to parties—
can't. if i'm not doing homework or studying, i'm working and doing this. i gotta make a living somehow.
ellie couldn't help but feel bad, knowing if she could, she'd support you full time and take that weight off your shoulders.
hmm, maybe you'll meet someone who could support you and take care of your bills and stuff.
oh? where would i find that? sounds too good to be true.
maybe they're closer to you than you think.
your breath hitched in your throat, unsure of what to say next.
i— uh— i have to go. it's 5am.
oh— uh— yeah. of course. goodnight, sugar.
goodnight, ellie.
sunday, 11:37pm → incoming call from ellie (jackson, WY)
hey.
hey. where's your usual greeting?
you're not a usual customer, so i think we're past that now, ellie.
ellie's heart thumped in her chest hearing you say her name.
good. anyways, what are you up to tonight?
just studying for a quiz tomorrow morning. how about you?
smoking, just finished some homework.
what class was it for?
uhhh, just this calculus class.
you clamped your mouth shut, suppressing a gasp. it was for professor adams class.
....uhhh, i could never get calculus. it's so hard.
yeah? maybe one night i can tutor you.
i'd be a terrible student.
i think you'd be the perfect student. i can teach you, i got you.
you couldn't help but think there was another meaning behind her words, but you didn't want to jump to any conclusions. it would be embarrassing if you got her message all wrong.
what's your quiz on anyways?
energy transfer between cells, it's for biology.
i know a thing or two about that. here— why don't we do this, just explain to me what you know and we'll go from there.
okay, i can do that.
you and ellie spent the next two and a half hours talking about cell function and energy transfer and everything else in between, with her correcting you and adding in important things you missed.
alright, sugar, i think you're ready for this quiz tomorrow.
you think so?
i know so. you're such a smart girl.
there she goes again, praising you.
uh, th-thanks.
don't worry, okay? i know you'll do great.
a smile curls on your lips, flustered from all her support.
you should get some sleep, so you can be focused and ready for tomorrow.
you can hear his belt buckle clanging, and the soft buzz of a zipper.
what's wrong with 'ya tonight, sugar? you're bein' a real buzzkill, 'ya know that? fuckin' turnin' me off and makin' me soft.
i-i'm sorry, mister j. please, jus—
yea, yea, save it. we'll jus' try 'gain tomorrow.
the line clicks on the other end. tossing your work phone on your desk, you fall back on your bed and stuff your face in your pillow. weeping into the plush material, you let yourself fall apart and break down.
but your sobbing session is cut short as you can hear the familiar ring of your work phone.
wiping your tears, you walk over to your desk and answer.
monday, 5:45pm → 00:32 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)
thanks for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's suga-
woah, woah, woah are you crying?
e-ellie?
yeah, baby, it's me. sounds like you're crying. what's going on? talk to me.
today was just a really, really bad day and then i opened my hotline a little early and one of my first clients just lashed out on me because i wasn't responding the way he wanted me to and—
you sniffle.
— and i'm just really stressed out by everything going on in my life right now.
i'm sorry. i wish there was something i could do— someway i could comfort you or take the weight off.
i-it's fine, ellie. talking to you is making it a little better.
ellie was silent for a moment, thinking carefully and planning her next moves accordingly.
do you trust me?
....y-yea, of c-course. why?
i'm gonna help you ease the tension. okay?
okay.
first of all, where are you?
i-in my room, sitting at my desk.
okay. go lay down on your bed.
with your phone pressed to your ear, you pick up your legs and stride over to your bed, laying down on the fluffy, material of your blanket.
okay, i'm on my bed.
good. what are you wearing?
foreseeing the direction this phone call was heading in, apprehension builds in your stomach.
ellie, you really don't have to-
hey, i want to help you. if that's okay with you. if not, we could talk about something instead.
biting your lip, you fold.
i-i'm okay with it, but i-i've never— played with myself with a customer before. i don't really do anything with myself even when i'm not working anyways.
that's okay. don't think of me as a customer, think of me as a...teacher. i got you, remember?
okay.
good girl. now, what are you wearing?
uh.. a tank top and shorts.
cute. take them off.
gulping, you follow her orders, shimmying out of your top and shorts.
done?
mhm.
good. so obedient.
i want you to rub your boobs for me. rub your nipples, pull on them, just feel the skin under your hand for me, baby.
rubbing the soft skin along your breast, and tugging on your hardened nipples, you bite your lip, savoring the way your body feels under your touch.
how does it feel?
feels good.
bet it does.
ellie couldn't stop her mind from imagining you, on your bed, perfectly naked. and how she'd give everything up, just to sneak a peek.
now, i want you to just rub your hands against the sensitive parts of your body. be slow and gentle, we're not rushing anything.
as your hands drift from your neck, down to the hills of your breasts, and to the edge of your panties, ellie speaks through the line again.
doesn't it feel nice, baby?
mhm.
wish i could be there, to watch you, touching your pussy.
you instinctively clamp your thighs, feeling heat rush to your core.
alright, take your panties off. slowly.
you slowly peel the piece of material off, looking at the small, wet spot that formulated on your underwear.
okay, they're off.
such a good girl, following my every command.
you gulp, her nickname for you sending shivers up your spine.
slowly feel the skin on your legs. stroke your inner thighs, tease yourself a little.
hanging off on her every word, you let out a shaky breath, the heat in your cunt growing only bigger and bigger.
god, i wish i can be there to see this right now. bet you look so good, thighs spread apart, pussy all wet— all because of me.
i- i'm aching. i need more, ellie.
i know, baby, i know. i wish i can help you more. if it were up to me, i'd have you bent over your desk, taking you from the back. fuck.
your mind drifts to that image, of her fucking you, taking you as hers. a stream of your slick begins to leak out from your pussy. god, you wanted her so bad.
slide a finger between your pussy, baby. let me hear how wet you are.
spreading your thighs apart, the tip of your fingers slips in between the folds of your pussy lips, the slick sound of your wetness echoing throughout the room. loud enough for ellie to hear.
fuuuuuck.
i-
you tried to speak, but it comes out sounding like a pathetic whimper. ellie's brain was going insane, she couldn't believe where she had you, writhing from her mere words.
go ahead, pretty girl. rub slow circles on your clit.
the pads of your pointer and middle finger gently rub steady, figure 8's against your hardened nub. closing your eyes, you imagined ellie, and how it was her hand instead of yours. the thought had you panting, faint breaths releasing from your parted lips.
your pussy sounds so wet, holy shit. you sound so fucking good for me. so fucking perfect.
as your fingers continue massaging on your sopping, wet clit, a pool of wetness gathers right below your ass.
how does it feel, baby?
f-feels amazing, ellie.
you let out a low whimper.
i wish you were here.
me too, pup. me too.
you can hear her heavy breaths from the other end of the phone.
i wish i could be there, kissing your neck. trailing my lips down to suck on your nipples. fuuck, wanna taste every inch of your skin. i wanna feel your pussy tighten around my fingers.
you let out another pitiful moan, only to hear ellie curse under her breath again.
rub your pussy faster for me, angel. imagine it's me, pumping my fingers in and out. would daddy's pretty girl like that?
you couldn't respond. all you could let out was these weak whines, yearning for ellie and her touch. you added a third finger, building onto the pressure and picking up the speed.
your moans sound so pretty. wonder how'd they sound when you're taking my strap. gonna have you cry out my name, yeah? isn't that right?
mhm, yes, daddy.
good. that's what daddy likes to hear, such a polite girl.
with your eyes rolling back, you could feel your orgasm building.
i-i'm gonna— ellie, i—
you gonna cum for me, puppy? huh? c'mon, rub faster, baby. i know you have a little bit more left in you.
your fingers speed up, the sound of your wetness gushing out reverberated in ellie's ear.
oh my god, daddy can i? please? can i—
arching your back, you knew you were close. the feeling was getting to be too much and you were about to fall over the edge.
look at my baby, so respectful and asking permission. come on, pretty puppy. cum for daddy. let daddy hear how good she made you feel.
that was it. letting out a penetrating moan, you rode your orgasm out and finished all over your fingers, making a mess. you were heaving, chest rapidly rising and falling.
god, i made a mess.
oh, yeah? do one more thing for me. suck your fingers clean. puppies clean up their messes.
monday, 8:57pm → 3:01:32 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)
after your little self-care session with ellie, she took it upon herself to get your mind off of today's events, filling your conversation with stories and interesting topics.
oh, forgot to ask, what'd you end up getting on that biology quiz?
ughhh, i got a 65 out of 100. one of the reasons why i was so upset today.
seriously? how?
i don't know! i asked professor gonzalez and she told me that i was focusing on the wrong thi-
wait, did you just say professor gonzalez? holy shit, you're taking biology 201 with professor g? do you fucking go to school at university of wyoming? in jackson?
oh shit, you didn't mean for that to slip out.
i— uh— i have to go—
wait! sugar! please. hear me out.
you stay silent, waiting for what she had to say.
if we really do go to the same campus, please, let's meet up. i really want to see you.
.....why?
i just— i love talking to you. spending hours with you on the phone is what i look forward to when i get home. besides, i really want to take you out, on a date.
you bit your lip, unsure of what to say.
listen, if you want to see me too, meet me at the library in building B, by the comic book section. okay? tomorrow at 1pm.
....
i really hope you come.
the line clicks off, and you spend the rest of the night restless, tossing and turning, debating whether or not to see her tomorrow.
tuesday, 2:50pm
ellie eagerly checked her phone again, bouncing her knee in distress. her mind was running rampant — fuck, she's not gonna come. maybe jesse was right. maybe i was wasting my time.
looking up for the 80th time, she scans the comic book section, seeing no one else but some dude with his face buried in a wonder woman comic.
as ellie gets up from her chair, she turns her head, and she freezes.
there you were, looking like an angel who entered from the garden of eden. ellie's heart sped up, seeing her girl standing before her. you were everything she could've imagined and better.
walking slowly towards the brunette, you brush a piece of hair from your face, and smile meekly.
"hi ellie, it's me."
pls let me know how this fic was, i tried out a new writing style & read pt 2 here <3
bestie ellie x reader high truth or dare ?! maybe it leads to some smut and some revealed feelings ? i love ur work🤍
──── # 3.4k ୨ৎ truth or dare ♡ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 best friend! els x best friend! reader, lowkey loser-ish ellie, confident! reader, contains mentions of weed & alcohol, smut, heated making out, pantie sniffing, best friends to lovers au, face riding, etc.
rolling a joint between your fingers, ellie quickly licked the wrapper of her own and curled the weed into a blunt that satisfied her. “now that is how you roll a bud,” she said rather pridefully, a smirk growing on her lips. leaning back against the sofa, her arm wrapped around your shoulders as she quickly tugged you into her side like normal. “not whatever weird shit you were buying.”
“alright,” you rolled your eyes softly before lifting your bud to her’s. “you made your point, dork. you’re an expert at joint rolling.”
ellie chuckled, her free hand coming to light up the bud in-between her lips. “glad you agree, sweetheart,” she muttered around the joint. lolling her head to the side, the tip of the bud met yours in order to light it. sighing, you inhaled the smoke and let it sit in your lungs to create that sweet buzz you had been craving all day.
“i’m the best in the area.”
“that’s debatable.”
“is it, princess?”
smirking, you turned to look at her; leaning into her side, you rested your head on her shoulder. “mhm,” you hummed. “i bet i could roll a lot better than you.” your best friend chuckled, her chest rumbling beneath your ear. your cheeks tinted from both the smog of weed and the abrupt flush that crawled up your neck. you loved when she got all cuddly and coddled you.
“you’re cute.”
the two of you spent the next ten to twenty minutes smoking your joints as you giggled at the dumb puns ellie attempted to make while half high. she had a much higher tolerance than you did—half a blunt was enough to knock you out, and it took her maybe one and a half in order to feel tipsy.
she loved it though. the dynamic between you two made it easier for her to tease you whenever you curled up into her side and begged for her attention. she’d never deny you of it, of course. ellie yearned for it anyways.
scratching your head, she watched from her green hues as you lended back against the sofa and propped your feet up against her lap. “m’ bored, els.” you slurred, dumping off the ash from your blunt into the ash tray. “can we play a game?”
“a game?” she questioned, tilting her head. “what kinda game, princess?” her hand came to rest against your thigh, squeezing the flesh beneath your jeans softly.
you thought for a moment. “truth or dare? and if you refuse to answer or do the dare.. you have to take a shot.” stumbling to your feet, you grabbed the spare bottle of tequila you always hid in your apartment.
ellie chuckled, watching the way you danced hazily back into her arms. perched on her lap, she inhaled shortly, acutely aware of the lack of space between you two. yeah, she enjoyed it, but it also made those weird feelings bubble up inside of her chest all over again.
“a shot, huh?”
you nodded, popping open the top and taking a swig. “whew,” you scrunched your nose, “it’s still strong.” ellie rolled her eyes and took the bottle from your hands, setting it beside her on the sofa.
“alright, babe, let’s not get drunk before the game even starts. you’re already high off your ass as it is.” she said, looking up at your face. setting her joint in the ashtray to dangle forgotten, her hands came to rest on your hips. “who goes first?”
pursing your lips, you tilted your head and thought—or whatever you could even manage as a thought—“me? i’ll ask you!” you giggled, wrapping your arms around her neck and leaning towards her. ellie inhaled sharply, nodding her head as she attempted to contain the small squeal of happiness she felt.
“truth or dare.”
“hm,” ellie murmured, “truth.”
you smirked, “who’s the last person you slept with?”
the question made her pause. in all honesty, she didn’t even know. she hadn’t slept with anyone in a while—not since she had begun to feel this tingly sensation every time your hand brushed against hers. she knew that it meant something, and whatever it was, it was too important to lose because if a one night stand. her eyes found yours again. she smiled softly.
“mm.. i’m not sure.” she answered truthfully to which you huffed out an annoyed groan. ellie’s eyes widened. “you’re such a lair!” you replied, pouting your lip.
your best-friend stared at you, “a liar?”
“yeah! you’re always sleeping around.” you said matter of fact as you grabbed the liquor bottle. “drink.”
her eyes fell from your face to the bottle, “nu-uh,” she clicked her tongue and grabbed the bottle back. “cause’ i’m not lying. my turn, anyway. truth or dare, princess?” you pouted again, but ultimately gave in to her persuasion.
she always had that affect on you.
“dare.” you said confidently.
ellie’s thumbs rubbed against your hips as she lolled her head to the side. “dare, yeah? and you’ll really do it?” she smirked, “you’ll have to drink if you don’t.” she reminded you.
“i know!”
“okay, if you insist.”
she thought for a moment before an idea popped into her head. it wasn’t too absurd. after all, the two of you had done it as a joke once or twice, but right now, it was anything but a joke. her tongue dipped out to swipe against her bottom lip, “kiss me.”
“kiss you?” you repeated her words, glancing at her lips. soft, plump, and gently pink. for a moment, the haze in your head had passed and you were aware of both the weight and heat of the moment. yes, you two had kissed before.
though, the way she was looking at you right now, seemed anything but friendly. you gulped, nodding your head. if you didn’t kiss her—not that you didn’t want to—you’d have to drink. your arms wrapped around her neck tightly as you leaned forward.
chest to chest now.
ellie’s eyes widened. you were actually going to do it?
“close your eyes, els.”
she obliged right away. her green eyes fluttered shut and she waited like a loser for your lips to brush against her’s. when they did, god, it was intoxicating. she had been starved of this feeling for too long. for you two hadn’t kissed in ages, and now, she was getting to experience it from a whole new perspective.
ellie immediately grasped your hips harder as she curled you towards her. nudging your head to a better angle, she deepened the kiss by ten fold. her tongue prodded against the slit between your lips; asking if she could proceed further than just a simple peck. this caught you off guard, but it wasn’t not pleasant. in fact, it was more than so.
a sigh escaped her when you parted for her. her tongue immediately began to roam around your mouth, pushing and pressing against your own tongue. she was fighting you for dominance, which you quickly let her take. you were never the dominant type—or at least, not with something so new as this.
your fingers curled into her short strands of hair, tugging softly. ellie groaned, bucking up her hips slightly to create that sweet friction she craved. when she realized what she did, she pulled away, cheeks flushed and lips kiss swollen. her eyes were hazy from both weed and the fact that she hadn’t even realized how quickly she was moving from just a simple kiss.
“fuck,” she mumbled beneath her breath, watching the way you stared at her face. your eyes roamed over her features, and she could help but wonder what was going through that pretty head of yours. “that was—“
you breathed out slowly, “really fucking good.”
“i know i’m— wait, what?”
she was preparing to admit that she had taken it too far and was going to play it off as not getting any game lately, but when she heard you say it was good—her entire demeanor changed. “good? you’re saying that kiss was good?”
“was it not for you?”
ellie’s hands tightened on your hips, “fuck yeah, it was good. i-i mean—fuck, i just..” your best friend stammered, unable to contain the feelings that was bubbling up onto the surface.
“are you.. nervous?” you questioned, raising a brow as you watched her flush profusely beneath your eyes.
she tried to play it off, “what—? pfft, no? me? nervous? never.” all you could do was stare at her as she avoided eye contact and kept looking away with her green hues darting every which way around the room. you chuckled, her fingers tapping nervously on your hips.
“your turn.” you said finally, easing her back into your gaze.
ellie nodded, swallowing thickly as she thought about the question. “truth or dare?” she whispered, voice trembling and heart hammering in her chest. your answer was quick; like you were waiting for her.
“truth.”
“are you.. into anyone right now?”
pursing your lips, you couldn’t help but notice the way she glanced down at the way you were seated in her lap when she asked that question. had she been thinking about that this entire time?
you shook your head, fingers curling into the bottom strands of her hair, “not.. really, but i do have a crush.” you admitted. now, this?
this caught ellie’s attention. she was quick to look back up at you, eyes wide and pupils blown like she didn’t hear you correctly the first time. she stammered, “what—? i mean, who? ya’ know, cause you usually tell me stuff like that.” she tried to play it off nonchalantly.
she was failing miserably.
you could read her too well. she knew that, and you were using it to your advantage.
“someone you know very well.” you smirked.
ellie paused. fuck, why did you have to look so cute like that? were you trying to kill her? “someone i know? don’t tell me you have a crush on one of our friends—“
“you.”
you cut her off abruptly to finish her sentence. you were tired of waiting and avoiding the obvious tension between the two of you. it was maddening to know that you could take this further if you both just owned up to the lingering feelings beneath the surface.
ellie’s jaw slackened and her mouth parted, eyes fixing on yours intensely. “don’t fuck with me.” she stated.
“you said truth or dare, i would have drank if i didn’t want to tell you the truth—“
that was all she fucking needed.
in swift movements, she had you hoisted in her arms. she had always been strong—you had spent a lot of your time watching her work out in the gym when you were bored and had nothing better to do. you even often found yourself admiring the toned definition of her biceps and back.
ellie was fucking hot, to say the least. now, you were in her arms with your thighs wrapped our her waist. she was quick to carry you to the bed, placing you gently on the mattress like you were the most delicate the thing in the entire world; as if you were more precious than her savage starlight comic book collection.
because well, you knew hardly anything compared to that. but you? fuck, to ellie, you were so much more than any possession. you were everything she wanted in a girl, and yet she had always been too scared to mess up your friendship in order to admit her underlying feelings.
but to hell with that. she would squander it as much as she wanted now, because she knew you felt the same way. you had her wrapped around your pinky so tightly, and she would gladly be tugged absolutely anywhere you had in mind.
needless to say, ellie was very needy when it comes to you. she was so used to being dominate 24/7—a butch lesbian that beats up guys for hitting on women who don’t want it, but right now, she was simply putty in your pretty little palms.
she was quick to burry her face between your legs, inhaling the fabric of your jeans. “fuck,” she muttered, fingers hooking into the loops and quickly tugging the material down your thighs. you let her, of course; lifting your hips and helping her guide it off of your body.
leaving you in a top and underwear, ellie took a long look at the body beneath her—the girl whom had her awestruck for far too long. she smirked to herself, growing hungrier by the minute. though, the more she constricted herself to strictly looking, the more the heat built up inside of her lower belly.
which was good, because that feeling was intoxicating.
“you don’t know how many times i’ve imagined this.”
“have you?”
“so much, princess.”
she come down between your thighs again, freckled nose brushing against the seam of your cotton underwear. you arch at the touch, eyes closing as she inhales your scent. her lips curl in a small growl, simply sniffing you as if she was a predator and you were her prey. which, you were—under her like a bunny caught in a trap.
she enjoyed it, clearly. “smell so good,” ellie murmured, nose sliding against the slit of your folds above the cotton. “bet you taste good, too.”
“i do.” you confirmed with a breathless nod.
she chuckles darkly, helping you out of your underwear. she holds them in her hands, glancing around at the soft cotton before bringing it to her nose again. she inhales the scent once more. “think m’ gunna keep these to reminisce.”
“ellie—“
another chuckle and she’s back between your thighs. she slaps the skin on the side and motions for you to rest your ankles against her shoulders. “come here,” she instructed, feeling the way you buck against the cold air. her cheeks warm, “greedy girl.”
“tease me more.” you begged, hands resting in her soft strands of hair. “love when you make me whine for it.”
you were confident with your words. not a blubbering mess, but sure about what you were asking for. it turns her on even more and there she was, being tugged by your pinky to do what you asked.
even if she tried being the dominant one, you were making her weaker by the moment. “yes ma’am,” she replied, dipping down to admire the wetness of your cunt. “you wanna be played with, yeah?
you nod desperately.
“fuck me, jesus.” she sighed, simply wanting to dive in and never come up for air. “gunna ransack this pussy.”
when her tongue finally meets your slit, you jolt from the pleasure. “oh!” you cried out, back arching. “shit, oh fuck—“ a ramble of curses leave your lips when she begins to lap at you softly.
she moves slowly and doesn’t take it too fast. in fact, she takes her time to taste you before she ever makes her way to your clit. you were the most sensitive there, and the way it twitched against the air only solidified that to her. the notion of that small bundle of nerves being your undoing was enough to make ellie squirm to hold herself back.
“mm,” her mouth moved with ease, tongue brushing against your entrance before swirling back up. “definitely taste like heaven.” her voice is muffled as she spoke.
you were soaked, and you knew once she got her fingers in you, you’d be dribbling all over them. your walls clenched around nothing when she reached your clit, tongue pulling circles before prodding at the sweet bundle of nerves. you whined, tugging her hair. “els.. mm—“
“yeah, let me hear you.”
“ellie, fuck, please. just use me, i wanna be used by you.”
the red head sighed a deep breath against your cunt before bringing her free hand up to massage your entrance. she prodded gently at the hole, feeling the slickness of your heat desperately try to envelope her fully; as if you were pulling her in. “shit.”
“you sound heavenly.” she complimented; to which you smirked to yourself and bucked your hips up towards her mouth. as if she was simply just a machine to be used for your pleasure.
even if that was the case, she didn’t mind.
her tongue lapped at you again, sucking on your clit before diving two fingers inside. teasing you further, she fucked you with two fingers gingerly and slowly. she just simply wanted to feel the way your hole stretched out to greet her. dear god, it was too good. going fast would ruin all the pleasure she felt from this.
“so fucking wet.” she coaxed, spreading you open even more as she added a third finger. you adjusted to her quickly, taking her in as if it was the easiest thing in the entire world. and ellie? she was absolutely smitten with the way you took it.
if only she had her strap. she would fuck you so hard with that silicon cock that you’d be screaming for her to slow down—or maybe speed up. who knows, you may like it when she’s pounding into you from behind.
your eyes rolled back, “fuck, your fingers feel so good, baby.” you whimpered, fucking onto her hand like you were in heat.
“jesus..”
you were taking control and absolutely lulling her into your sweet solace. glancing up from between your thighs, she took a good long look at your face and the way your expression twisted with every move. she was satisfied with the way you looked, and simply wanted to destroy you even more. continuing her ministrations with her fingers, she moved up to hover above your face.
her eyes glanced around your face before she took your lips with her’s and kissed your hard. her tongue slipped between your soft lips and prodded at your own with a groan. ellie’s hips bucked on their own as if seeking the sweet release she was giving to you and you alone.
she wanted it for herself, but just the mere sight and hearing you whine was enough to get her off.
she didn’t need to touch herself to cum. not with you. just touching your pussy and fucking you good would be enough to make her finish.
pulling back from your mouth, the only thing that connected you two was the pump or her three fingers and a string of saliva. your eyes were hazy and fogged over from the intenseness of her movements as she sped up. “like that?” she whispered.
you nodded quickly.
“you’re so good at this.” you praised her, and nearly broke the resistance she was holding back. ellie groaned, desperately wanting to keep her composure but at this very moment, she really didn’t want to.
quickly pulling her fingers out, she grabbed you by the hips. sitting you up, she quickly laid down against the mattress and licked her bottom lip, “sit on my face.” she instructed through a huff of air.
your lips turned upward in a smirk, heart beating rapidly. your pussy ached to feel the way she could fuck you with her tongue and not to mention completely suffocating her with your cunt.
“your face? like a chair?”
“don’t make me ask twice, princess.”
“you’d never have to, baby.”
without much thought, you crawled up to her face and lined your pussy up with her mouth. taking a seat on her face as if she was a chair, you began to grind against her tongue that splayed out to catch your clit.
and damn didn’t feel so fucking good.
you arched your back, bringing your arms up to rest behind your head as you moved. “oh shit, i’m gunna cum on your tongue just like this.” you whimpered, picking up your speed.
ellie’s hands held onto your hips to keep you steady, and you could feel the pulse of her hips as she desperately ground up into the air.
it wasn’t long until both of you were coming—ellie in her boxers and you on her tongue. you groaned softly, falling back between her legs as she sat up for air. your essence dripped down her chin, and you couldn’t help but admire the way she looked with flushed cheeks and hazy eyes. you smirked.
“was that good?”
your best friend’s eyes came to rest on your figure, tits still hidden beneath the fabric of your top and bra. her stomach churned, “was it good? shit, i’m gunna fuck you every day like that.” she said, coming to grab you by the waist and pull you into her.
finding a comfortable position on your bed, she smiled warmly into your neck.
“no need to go find someone else now,” she whispered against your ear. “your crush’ likes you back.
𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: You catfish Ellie and invite her to a party to see her misery firsthand.
𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 6.0k
𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙨: bully x victim, loser Ellie, bully reader, toxic yuri, top Ellie, bottom reader, high school au, catfishing, hate sex, rough sex, dacryphilia, strap-on sex, fingering, face slapping, slapping in general, degradation, dirty talk, edging, brief cunnilingus, hints of pervert Ellie
𝙖/𝙣: Reader is insanely insufferable but trust it's so that it'll be worth it.
Also posted on ao3! click here
You've tormented Ellie ever since you met her in freshman year. It started off with making her feel stupid for trying to talk to you when she sat next to you in math class, and then turning around a few days later and acting overly friendly when you needed answers. Ellie wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what you were doing, so she made a face and simply rejected you.
People never denied you what you wanted, so you vowed to make the girl's life a living hell. The next time you saw her in an elective class, you pushed her comic book off her desk, uttering a dramatized "oops!" She gasped and yelled, "what the fuck, dude?!" in response. You sarcastically apologized to her, rolling your eyes the moment the words left your mouth.
When she still sat besides you the next day, you insinuated that she had a crush on you, that she liked girls who were mean to her. She fought back and all you could do was smile condescendingly.
You continued to bully her. You'd never do anything too obvious like slipping mean notes into her locker, but you got off just fine being patronizing. You figured out her interests by the stickers she placed on her laptop, and of course, the comic you spilled onto the floor earlier. You'd say things like, "you still like dinosaurs? Are you five?" "Oh, you like space? Grow up, it's not that cool." It would get under her skin, but as the years went on she stopped being so susceptible to your antics. The best reactions you could get out of her now were mere eye rolls or frowns.
She started to get in your head your junior year. To your delight, she didn't have you blocked on social media. So, you began to stalk her page and analyze every single selfie she'd ever posted and saved to her highlights. You'd bring her up with your friends and stalk her with them too, just to have a cheap laugh at her nerdy interests.
Time and time again, you found your thumb typing in her name just to see her pictures. Now that you looked closely at her, she was remarkably pretty. Her viridescent eyes were stunning and her freckles perfectly complimented her face. The scar on her eyebrow brought a roughness to her otherwise soft face. It made you wonder what it'd be like to run your fingers over those features.
Senior year, you told your gorgeous online friend about Ellie. You didn't tell her about how you try to make her life worse everyday, but you did tell her that Ellie was your ex-girlfriend that cheated on you multiple times. That she was manipulative and evil. That you wanted to lead her on to let her know what it's like to have your emotions played with.
She agreed to help you catfish Ellie by letting you use her pictures. You created the account, lied about being from the closest school over, and followed people from that school and yours. You followed Ellie when you gained enough followers, and luckily enough, she followed back quickly. Perfect.
You didn't want to come off too strong yet, so you eased your way into Ellie's life by liking every story she posted. You doubted she cared enough to check likes on her stories, but who cares? On the off chance she does, she'll be sure to notice you.
A week after the creation of your account, you gathered the courage to reply to one of her stories. It was a languid 20 second video of her playing guitar. One of her strangely attractive hands held down the strings on one side of the instrument while the other plucked and strummed. You could hear her softly humming over the music.
This was the perfect time to finally make a move on her. You thought for a moment before swiping up and typing,
—"You have a beautiful voice"
She took a few hours to reply, and when she did, you were disappointed. All she did was say "thank you" and react to your message with the default red heart. Seriously? Why wasn't she already head over heels in love with you? What loser wasn't immediately interested in some random girl flirting with them?
Looks like you overestimated how desperate Ellie would be. She largely kept to herself and her small friend group—of course she wasn't going to start asking for nudes right off the bat. You sighed and racked your brains for what to say next. If you stopped now, the next time you reply to a story she might have the audacity to merely heart it and move on. She replied dryly, but that didn't mean she wasn't interested. Your flirtation could've easily gotten lost through transcription.
You picked your phone back up and typed out, "you're very beautiful btw," before deleting it. She might be enough of a loser to get scared off by a girl flirting with her so directly.
You stared at the screen blankly before typing,
—"How long have you been playing guitar?"
She replied a few minutes later. All she said was,
—"i started playing a few years ago. my dad taught me"
You felt thoroughly relived at her reply. You half-expected her to leave you on delivered or respond dryly once again, but she actually gave you something to work with this time. You fought back the urge to ask, "you have a dad?" and instead replied,
—"Maybe you could try teaching me too"
You sent the message with a cheeky kiss-y face attached at the end. Your flirting had to be fool-proof now. She replied,
—"i barely know you"
Her attitude wouldn't deter you.
—"You could get to know me"
You found yourself giggling into your palm the moment you sent that text and halted it a second after realizing. You've never reacted like that with anyone else, not even during the brief period of time you dated Abby Anderson.
You flung your phone onto the foot of your bed. There was no way you were going to let someone like Ellie Williams have this much of an impact on you.
You laid on your bed and stared at the ceiling fan's blades as you thought about what you were doing. You were trying to lead on Ellie for what exactly? You knew the answer; you wanted to use her misery for your entertainment, but did you have any ulterior motives etched deep inside your brain? You slowly reached back for your phone. Ellie responded a few minutes ago, but you dismissed the notification and turned your phone face-down on your nightstand.
You'll keep her waiting. Maybe if she's desperate enough for a girl to kiss she'll still reply.
When you passed by her in school the next day, you ignored the way her body tensed when she caught sight of you coming in her direction. Normally, it'd make you smile to know you have that effect on her, but today you kept your chin high and kept walking without a bump into her shoulder. As you walked away, you could feel the way her gaze lingered on the back of your head.
You eventually opened her message in a class you didn't share with her. She asked a simple question last night,
—"what are your hobbies?"
The message stumped you. Should you lie to her and invest yourself in acting the role of being Ellie's perfect match? Or should you make it more realistic and reveal some truths about yourself?
You supposed you could let her see some of your nerdier hobbies. You've never done anything so horrid like watching anime or any type of cartoon after reaching ten, but you do like reading. Maybe she'll be impressed that you enjoy reading classics.
—"I like reading classics sometimes
Prefer reading gothic novels"
She replied a few hours later, sometime after school. You almost grinned when you saw the notification.
—"i know about it
it's the one with the lesbian vampire right"
—"Omg yes
Funny how people remember it that way when it was written to warn girls about being gay"
—"if i lived back then i think it would've encouraged me instead"
You had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from laughing at her response. She actually wasn't bad to talk to. Her texts inexplicably carried some sort of attractive aura within them. It's a wonder she's never had a girlfriend before. At that thought, you slapped both your cheeks and reminded yourself how much of a loser Ellie is.
—"You're funny"
—"i get that a lot"
You two had conversations like this for weeks. You sacrificed hours of sleep for the ability to text Ellie late into the night, even if you had school early in the morning. At one point, she called and you had to fight to keep your voice a lower pitch than usual. Fortunately, it was late and you were falling asleep, so your voice naturally deepened in your groggy state.
She started asking to meet up, claiming it was ridiculous that you've been talking for almost a month without meeting each other in person yet. You knew she wanted something easygoing and personal like a date, but you panicked when she brought up the topic. You knew it was a matter of time before she started to get desperate to see you.
It'd be suspicious if you said no, so you checked your calendar and noticed you had one of Owen's house parties coming up the next week. You sighed and thanked the heavens above for such convenient timing for a party. It'd be discrete enough for you to stay hidden while watching Ellie's anguish at being stood up.
The day of the party, you showed up 30 minutes late. Ellie had already notified you of her arrival, all that was left was to look for her and observe her waiting for a person who will never come. You didn't want Ellie to invade your mind the whole time, so you sought out your friends. They saw you approaching them and waved.
Abby was the first to offer you a shot of tequila. You eagerly agreed and tilted your head to let her spill the glass' contents into your mouth. Nora, Mel, and Manny cheered for the moment, yet they were almost drowned out by the bass reverberating along the walls. You wanted to stay with them, but you wanted to see Ellie more. You excused yourself to the bathroom to start your pursuit of Ellie Williams.
You walked in the direction of the bathroom to avoid any suspicions, but you deviated from the path to find Ellie. Your eyes surveyed the crowds in each room, but you couldn't find her between all the bodies.
You thought about Ellie and all her mannerisms you've picked up over the years. She'd be among the stragglers standing in corners or in the hallways.
A sudden force nearly crashed into your body. Funnily enough, it was just the person you wanted to see. The alcohol contained in the thin plastic red cup she held almost splashed onto your low-cut camisole.
"So sorry," her eyes flickered up to you and immediately widened when she realized who she bumped into. The muscles in your face almost twitched upwards at how easy she made it to make fun of her.
"Watch where you're going, loser. Why are you even here?" You could barely contain the smugness in your voice.
Her expression returned to its neutrality. "I was invited. Why else would I come here?"
You bit your tongue as you struggled to hold back the laughter threatening to overcome you any second now. You released it and smiled condescendingly. "Who invited you? They should know you probably wish you were at home reading manga or something."
Ellie swallowed back all the insults she wanted to hurl at you. "Daniela invited me."
The skin on your forehead wrinkled in feigned confusion. "Who the fuck is Daniela?"
"This girl from the next school over," Ellie mumbled.
You pointed to your ear. "Huh? The music's loud, I can't hear you!" You heard her perfectly.
Ellie raised her voice and repeated herself.
You couldn't contain yourself this time and burst out laughing at her exclamation. "Right! If you wanted to crash you could've just said so."
She took a step back from you, looking straight down. "Whatever."
"So…" You smiled at her. "Is she your girlfriend or something?"
She perked up at the question. "Not really."
Poor Ellie made it too easy to tease her. The way she blushed when you asked that question said everything. She'd fallen right into your trap.
"Not really? So that means you've been flirting with each other. What kind of girl would be into you?" you taunted. "She must be just as much of a loser."
"Can you shut up for once in your life?" She took a sip of the alcohol withheld in her shiny plastic cup.
You looked around meaninglessly, as if to check if you heard that right with a group of friends. Ellie's attitude from your first years of high school was finally coming back. You missed it.
You attempted to diffuse your embarrassment by snickering. "No, I can't, Ellie. I like talking to you."
"Well, I wish you didn't."
"Aw, Ellie… Don't be that way." You dragged out your words. "I just like teasing you. It's all in good fun."
Ellie rolled her eyes all the way to the back of her head and pulled her phone out of her pocket to begin typing with her right hand.
You clicked your tongue at her departed attention before wrapping your fingers around the phone and looking at the bright screen. She reached for you, but you avoided all her attempts at getting it back.
"This is her?" You held up a projection of the fake profile you created. You had to applaud yourself—it really did look like a real account. "I've never seen her before. She's really pretty, though. It's surprising she decided to go for you. You'll probably end up scaring her away anyway."
"Give that back!" Ellie reached for your arm. You rapidly held the phone away from her reach and started to run down the hallway with it. Ellie chased after you, cursing under her breath.
"Gonna lock myself in the bathroom and break up with her!" You looked back at her, an abhorrent grin plastered on your face.
"Stop!" she yelled.
You two surfed through waves of people on the way of the bathroom. Nora saw you smirking as you excused yourself through the crowd, pointing you out to the rest of your group.
You dashed into the empty bathroom, nearly crashing into the glass panes shielding the shower. The smell of lemon scented air freshener engulfed your nostrils as you breathed in deeply, leaning on and holding onto the marble counter behind you. You nudged the door closed with your foot, ensuring to leave it slightly ajar.
Ellie slammed into the wooden door shortly after. You held the phone out towards her, and she rapidly seized it from you. Though you could still feel the bass vibrating through the walls, the small space surrounding yourselves quieted the music so much that she could hear you say, "chill."
"Well, that was fun," you breathed out.
She glared at you and caught her breath.
She resumed typing in and sending her previous sentence. The moment she clicked send, your phone vibrated in your back pocket.
You instinctively reached for your device, and to your annoyance, Ellie snatched it out of your hand the minute it saw the light. You groaned before reaching for it, but she held it out of your reach, above her head.
All the built up smiles gained from bullying Ellie faded. You despised it when people took your stuff.
"Give it back, Ellie, I'm serious." Your voice lost its high-pitched mocking tone and returned to its natural state.
"I was serious too." Ellie slightly smirked.
"Well, sorry, I guess. Just give it back."
Ellie fully smiled for the first time this evening. It was a sight for sore eyes. "I don't think I will."
As she held your phone above her head, she angled it so that she could take a nice, long look at the screen. Just as quickly as that beautiful smile came, it dropped.
Her voice lowered. "What the fuck is this?"
"What? Ellie, just give me the phone back."
"No."
Your eye twitched and you exasperatedly exhaled, "why not?"
Suddenly, your eyes were blinded by the sight of your screen an inch away from your face. You closed your eyes, inching your head back from it. When you opened them, a notification from Ellie stared back at you. It came from your fake profile.
You'd be lying if you said your heart didn't drop.
All you could do now was play dumb. "What?" You seized the opportunity to snatch your phone back from her hands.
"Stop playing dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"I don't." Your eyes reached hers. Though you've made eye contact with her several times before, this is the first time you've seen such a fire blazing in hers.
Ellie's frustration with you began to lace her once soothing voice. "What is wrong with you? What the fuck did I ever do to you?" Her eyebrows kneaded her face.
You decided that continuing to be oblivious would be boring. Ellie was already giving you an amazing show, and you wanted to give her more to work with.
"Honestly, I don't remember." Confidence returned to your demeanor.
"Are you serious?"
Your head bowed in artificial solemn. Ellie leaned against the wall in disbelief while you looked at your phone to check for any notifications from your friends. They must be wondering where you are.
"Put that shit down, I'm talking to you." Ellie's stern command cut through your nonchalance. At your refusal, she slapped your phone out of your hands and onto the tiled floor.
"Hey!" You dropped down on your knees to pick up your phone and searched for any cracks.
"Shut up. Why'd you do it?"
You leaned back against the sink, looking away from her as if to think about a response before shrugging. "I don't know. I was bored in my room one day."
Ellie tightly knit her eyes closed and exhaled. "I hate you so fucking much."
"I'd be really disappointed if you didn't."
Her fingers reached towards the doorknob and turned the lock until it gently clicked. At the realization of being trapped alone with her in a small room, your heartbeat sped up in your chest. If the music were a decibel quieter, you don't doubt she'd be able to hear its thumps.
"Finally had enough, Ellie?"
She slowly stepped towards you, trapping you between the cold sink and her warm body. Her silence sent chills traveling from your spinal cord to each of your nerve endings. She looked into your eyes, her gaze filled to the brim with hatred and jagged attraction, and leaned in.
At first, her lips gently pressed against yours, unsure of themselves, but her sweetness vanished the moment you began to kiss her back. She shoved your body further backwards with hers as she roughly kissed you. Her right thigh unconsciously slotted itself between your legs, so you couldn't escape her. Not that you wanted to, anyway.
She couldn't keep her hands to herself as she pulled away to look at your swollen lips. Her rough hand caressed your cheek and her thumb grazed your lower lip. Her other hand hesitantly lowered itself and found its home on your waist.
"What?" You paused her shameless admiration. "Are you getting shy on me now?"
Ellie shut you back up. She confidently licked your bottom lip, pushing her tongue into your waiting mouth when you allowed her to. Your tongues moved in sync with each other—you couldn't help but forget to breathe. Even then, you refused to pull away from the intense kiss until she did. You panted out and found solace in holding her shoulders. She held your waist tightly, acting as a lifeline in your dizziness.
Your mind searched for any meaningless insults to hurl at Ellie, but it came empty. To your dismay, Ellie was an amazing kisser. There was nothing to say about her performance save for the heat that made you want to clamp your thighs around her.
Ellie's low voice cut off your thoughts. "You're such a whore that you'd make out with someone you bullied for years."
You scoffed, subtly licking your lips. "You're one to talk. I knew you were into girls that are mean to you."
She almost smirked and leaned back into you, though this time, she aimed for your smooth neck adorned with a necklace Abby had given you years earlier. Ellie pushed it aside, hiding the pendant behind your hair. Her hand snaked though your locks as she pressed her first kiss beneath your carotid artery. You leaned your head back further to give her more canvas space for her lips.
Her pecks gradually turned into small sucks on your sensitive skin. Normally, you'd never let anyone mark your skin, but Ellie's harsh lips felt too soothing to pass up. Covering them up with makeup was hardly a price to pay for the sweet sensation she gave you.
Hard knocks sounded at the door, but both of you ignored the turbulence. You gripped her shoulders tightly as small gasps slipped through your lips.
After one last lick, she pulled away to look up at you. "You wanna come back to my place? My dad's out of town."
You nodded eagerly. "Can you drive?"
"I only drank a sip."
That was good enough for you. As you left the bathroom hand in hand with Ellie, the person waiting to enter sighed out of relief, but his face fell into confusion as he saw who you walked out with.
Ellie dragged you through the crowds dancing all around the house. Your friends spotted you leaving and waved their goodbyes, although they were perplexed to see you being led by a tatted arm.
She didn't bother to open the car door for you, but what could you expect? "I was expecting your car to smell like weed." She turned and gave you a dirty look, to which you shrugged. "Your eyes are red half the time in class."
On the drive to her house, Ellie held your thigh firmly, as if to remind you of what she planned to do to you when you arrived at your destination. You reciprocated her affection and placed your hand over hers.
She slowly pushed in her bedroom door and you gasped. Movie posters lined the walls—most of them pertaining to space, dinosaurs, and zombies—and a small collection of figures decorated her manga-filled bookshelf. She wasn't too hopeless though; she had a few great novels sprinkled in.
Her guitar case sat in the corner of her room where several vinyls loomed over, and next to it, was a tall collection of CDs neatly organized into a shelf.
In the corner opposite to her guitar was her desk with its grand PC that she claimed to have built herself. She rambled on and on about the process of building it in voice messages about a week ago. You didn't understand much of what she was saying, but her comforting voice nearly lulled you to sleep. Later that night, you replayed those voice messages over and over again.
Next to that desk was an easel displaying an unfinished painting and a stack of sketchbooks.
You twirled around her room to take all your surroundings in, and then turned to her to say, "Of course your room looks like this."
The Ellie you'd grown used to returned to you momentarily. She merely demanded, "Shut up and get on the bed."
Ellie's bed creaked when you laid backwards. Her messy sheets smelled exactly like her natural musk. You grabbed a fistful of them and closed your eyes, reveling in the scent consuming you. She slowly climbed over your body, taking in the sight of you beneath her before harshly resuming the make out session you'd paused in the bathroom. Her knee reached towards your center, bumping into it.
You bucked your hips along her thigh, enjoying the friction offered by the coarse denim. Your reverie was cut short immediately as her hand pinned down the side of your hip.
"Stay still," she commanded.
You didn't hesitate to disobey her. Who was she to order you around in the bedroom? So, she leaned back, withdrew her thigh, and pinned your hips down with a bruising force.
"What did I just fucking tell you?" she asked, her tone stern.
You leered at her. "You think I'll listen to you?"
"If you want me to fuck you, you will. If not, I'll just leave right now."
"This is your house."
"I'll stay at Riley's."
Her low voice sent dampness straight to your core. "Fine. I'll listen for now." You stilled your hips.
Ellie licked her lips, eying you as if you were a piece of meat under her, and began to kiss down the slope of your chest. Her warm hands slid under the camisole you wore, brushing against your waist before one hand reached under your back to undo the clasp of your bra. She tugged its straps down your arms, pulling the bra under your shirt when they were no longer attached to you. Ellie's eyes caught onto the way the form-fitting shirt perfectly outlined your breasts, and the way the thin fabric showed off your hardened nipples. She cupped them in her hands, rubbing her thumbs sensually over your nipples. You unconsciously pushed your chest further into her hands, which she reacted to by pinching the aching buds. You cried out at the mix of pleasure and pain coursing through you.
She seemed to grow tired of only playing with your breasts through clothing, so she pulled the stretchy cloth to rest under the fold connecting the fatty tissue with your abdomen. Her hands quickly enveloped the vulnerable flesh, kneading its softness reverently. She closed in on one of your breasts, wrapping her soft lips around the nipple and sucking while she pinched the other. You whimpered at the pain, your back pushing your chest into her mouth. With the hand she used to pinch you, she slapped your breast and made you flinch.
After completely taking off your top, Ellie leaned back up to quickly undo the buttons of her flannel. She discarded it on the floor and removed her undershirt and sports bra next. Her toned body was littered with freckles. Her small breasts glittered with them. Entranced, you reached up towards them, but she grabbed your wrists and kept them pinned down.
"You don't get to touch me yet." Ellie's voice almost sent you straight into an orgasm.
You paused before nodding, holding steady eye-contact with her.
She gave your breasts one last kiss before removing your shirt entirely and unbuckling the stylish belt that held your pants secure on your hips. She took her time dragging them down your legs to slowly reveal your cotton panties trimmed with lace at the edges. She snorted.
"I knew you'd wear some shit like this."
You smirked. "You've spent time thinking about what kind of panties I wear?"
Ellie's entire face flushed.
Her fingers lingered over your underwear with a feather light touch. It drove you to near insanity and elicited a strong warmth from your core. Surely Ellie could feel its burning radiation.
Her middle and ring fingers glazed over the damp spot building up in your panties. Her eyes looked at you with a hunger you had never seen before. She picked up the elastic band on the top edge of your garment and let it snap against your skin before pulling it away to uncover your dripping pussy.
Ellie was mesmerized. "Wow."
"Wow?" you bit your lip. "You know what to do with all that?"
She didn't answer, but she sent her gaze burning through you. Her hands spread open your legs, admiring how your folds bloomed like a flower. She reached for your aching clit, briefly circling the bud. She laid on her stomach, wrapping her arms snugly around your legs and kissing along the insides of your thighs. She kissed right outside your folds, but she never dared to reach it.
When she eventually did, she refused to pay any mind to your engorged clit. Instead, she covered her index finger in your wetness and plunged in.
The sensation was pleasant, but it was no where near enough. You urged her to slip in another finger or use her warm tongue on your begging clit, but Ellie remained concentrated on playing with your pussy. Occasionally, she'd look up from her reverie to revel in your discomfort and smirk.
She snuck a second finger inside you shortly, slowly picking up the pace of her wrists until you could barely see its movements. You moaned out, the sounds clashing with the bed's constant creaking. At the sight of your pleasure, Ellie slowed down. Before you could whine and tell her to keep going, she curled her fingers inside you to reach for that sweet spot deep inside you. She reached it quickly, proven by your cries, and continuously abused it.
She attentively watched your every reaction to her movements. Satisfied, she leaned in to lick a stripe against your clit. Her tongue blissfully savored you; she was completely entranced by you.
As your orgasm inched closer, Ellie sucked your clit before gently kissing it and disengaging completely. She sneered when she saw your desperate expression and squeezed your waist in mock comfort. You sat up, watching as she got off the bed and walked towards the side of the bed to pull out a cardboard box.
"What are you doing?" you asked. You folded your legs, resting your heels near your ass.
Ellie didn't bother to look at you. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
You watched as she opened the box and reached for a pitch black strap-on. You instantly covered your mouth and burst into weak, out of breath laughter.
"You have a strap?" you jeered. "Have you ever even had someone to use it on?!"
"Shut up."
As quickly as Ellie uttered those words, your face was forced to the side. The sting came right after. You gasped and held onto the warm skin, but the pain did nothing but turn you on further. You moved your hand back to cover the grin slowly creeping onto your face. Your eyes still held Ellie within that earlier jeer, but you tried to hide it from her. She still glared at you.
She then tore off the skinny jeans she wore, leaving herself in her black Calvin Klein boxers. She seemed to hesitate before stripping her last layer of protection off her body. Just as quickly as you caught a glimpse her completely nude body, she replaced her underwear with intricate straps.
Her hand lost itself back in the cardboard box until she reached for water-based lubrication. She dripped it onto her open palm and rubbed it along the silicone until it shined brightly. She did the same with your entrance.
Before you could flip over onto your hands and knees, Ellie stopped you with a hand on your hip.
"I wanna see your face while I fuck you."
You stopped, heat reaching the tips of your ears, and turned around to lay on your back with your head on one of Ellie's pillows. Your boobs laid enticingly for her, and she couldn't resist cupping a handful and squeezing.
Ellie lined her strap with your entrance and pressed in.
Your eyes closed in bliss as her strap filled you slowly and you gripped onto the sheets to cope with the pleasure taking over your senses. Your mouth opened as she began to stretch you out, a moan escaping your lips as she sheathed herself inside. Her green eyes fixated onto each of your expressions intently as she began to ram her hips into yours over and over again.
Your legs spread further, accompanied by a clenching hand on the back of your thigh. Ellie held a steady, forceful rhythm that made you lose control of your body.
You whimpered at her relentless pace, but you couldn't bring yourself to care about how pathetic it was. Tears formed at the corner of your eyes and streamed down the sides of your face. Ellie didn't bother wiping them away, but she was quick to notice, groaning, "you look way prettier when you cry."
You paid no mind to her remark, instead sighing at the rough pleasure and clutching onto the arm that held onto the top of your waist, beneath your breast. You felt her flexing bicep up and tightly held onto the hard muscle.
Your body felt as if it were about to burst. Ellie was too good at this, but there was no way she'd ever gotten laid before. You interrupted your constant moaning by mumbling, "fuck, Ellie! Did you practice on your pillows or something?"
"Shut the fuck up!" she yelled. "I fucking hate you, you stupid bitch. You've made my life miserable!"
The syllables in her last words punctuated her thrusts. Her body leaned into yours and warmed you thoroughly. With how much heat she gave you, it was like you two were having sex in a burning sauna. Sweat dripped down your skin and made your hair stick to it. Her warm mouth only furthered the sensation by dragging along the sides of your neck, leaving darkening marks along its wake.
Your arms reached over her neck and clawed along her shoulders. She grunted at the burns you gave her.
Tingles that mimicked the feeling of a numb limb spread throughout every square inch of your body. Your eyes shut tightly as you felt your impending release. Even Ellie faltered in her thrusts as she felt the pressure of you tightening around her. She applied more strength into her thrusts, relishing in the erotic noises produced by you and your cunt with each of her movements.
Every piece of stimulus reaching your brain combined and overwhelmed you. Your legs shook with the force of your pleasure. Every inch of your body tensed—your fingers dug red colored crescents into Ellie's skin and your legs clamped around her waist, but she wasn't deterred. She continued to slam back and forth into your body until your pleasure slowly subsided. She reluctantly slowed her hips, panting over you in unison with your breaths.
You calmed down with her in silence. She stood connected to you and her hands gentled their hold on you. She caressed your waist softly, they way she would've touched the fake girl you used to talk to her.
"So…" you started. "Will your dad be here in the morning?"
Ellie shook her head. Her soft auburn hair on the side of her face shook with her. "He shouldn't be."
You hummed and closed your eyes, exhausted by the night. Hers traced over your lashes and the shapes of your nose, brows, and lips.
"How much of that was real?" she whispered.
You opened your eyes and stared straight into hers. "Huh?"
"Like… when you texted me, how much of it did you mean?"
You contemplated your answer. Somehow, the intimacy of her strap-on still sitting deep inside you encouraged you to be honest with her. "I rarely lied."
Ellie seemed to accept that answer. "Do you wanna keep doing this, or..?"
You squeezed her arm. "I'd like that."
Ellie unsheathed herself from you and undid the straps holding the toy onto her hips. She dropped it into the cardboard box she set on the floor, and laid with you. You tentatively moved to lay closer to her, dropping your head on her chest. This closely, you could hear her rapid heartbeats as she wrapped an arm around you.
So I live in an apartment and currently have a lesbian neighbor that has always been hostile and abusive with her partners. She also didn’t like me when I didn’t say a word to her. When I finally did she threw sauce at my window. My landlord said don’t worry bec she is mentally not okay.
So I let it be and I’ve given other neighbors like brownies during the holidays and such and decide to invite my trans neighbor over for dinner as I thought we would get along. Turns out that while nice at first, he started getting comfortable yelling at my through the floor downstairs when I walked in my kitchen and said loudly to his friends I did it on purpose bec I was maybe stalking him?! I was friendly with this person for a few months and exchanged social media but after this happened and with more yelling harassment, I blocked them. They continued to yell at me when I was home insulting and I feel that it’s my fault. He is usually quiet but shows face whenever he has someone over.
I do have a hunch that after blocking my downstairs neighbor they went to my other neighbor that actually has anger issues and a partner that owns a gun saying shit about me.
Can anyone give me advice. I am a lesbian and I don’t go out of my way to harass or bully others. I’ve cried about this and avoided making noise at home. Every time I set a boundary and defend myself I feel it backfires..
content warnings: experienced!ellie x preachers daughter!reader, smut, innocent reader, religious guilt, closeted reader, mentions of god obviously, culty like church, sex in a church, scissoring, pussy eating, tit sucking, ellie talking you through it. lmk if i missed any! this is not proofread guys i wrote it at 1 am 🙏😔 men & mdni
wc: 1,383. mlist.
── ⋆⋅𖤓⋅⋆ ──
lately, sunday’s had been blurry. you could barley focus on your fathers words because you were to busy thinking about your neighbor, ellie. she lived in your neighborhood with her father joel. she was a stark contrast to everyone else around you. mindless christain’s who seemed to think anyone who was different than them was kissed by satan.
you’d been hanging around with ellie. learning more about her as the weeks passed. sometimes she’d sneak over to your yard and help you feel the horses you had in the barn behind your house. you knew about her. her sin. she was quite obvious about it too. she’d make out with women right on her front porch. the church people in your neighborhood always glared with judgement. shaking their heads in disbelief and horror.
when you first saw ellie kiss a girl you were immediately curious. like something had awaken inside of you. it felt like the feeling you lied about having when you told your father you were touched by god. whenever you would spend time with ellie, your father would lock you in the prayer shed just for batting your eyelashes at her. he’d sometimes leave you in there overnight. but your mind would never stray far from thinking about ellie.
🪽
it was another hot sunday. you were practically melting in the white cotton purity dress your father made you wear every sunday. he was preaching how the path to heaven was narrow. that there’s no room for sin. to always focus on the light. but your light wasn’t jesus. it wasn’t god or a husband and children. it was her. it was ellie. every time you thought about her you felt tremendous pain mixed with guilt. you wished that she was a man. so that maybe your father would approve. maybe then you two could be together in the open. if she’d even want you. you’d seen her with two different women just this week. your stomach hurt just thinking about it. you needed water.
quietly, you made your way out of worship hall and into the quiet hallways of the church. everyone was listening to your father preach. you found the water fountain and filled up a paper cup. your favorite place to sit out and escape from sermons was the church library. it was dark and quiet. no one ever came in there.
just as you were about to turn the knob of the library door you heard your name in a low raspy voice. you turned to see ellie walking towards you. wearing a flannel and jeans. her short hair in a half up half down. “what’re you doin’ here?” your voice came out sweet and confused. ellie never came to church.
“wanted to see you s’all.” she reached behind you and opened the church library door. coaxing you in with her. “you couldn’t’ve waited till after church?” you tried to hide the excitement you had that she was here.
“says the one sneakin’ out in the middle of her daddy’s preachin’.” a bashful smile creeped onto your face and you locked the library door behind you. making your way over to the table in the middle of the room. covered in a few different translations of bibles. you sat on the corner and ellie stood in front of you.
“you shouldn’t be here..daddy’ll lock me in that shed if he sees me with you.” ellie ran a finger up your arm. gently tracing the soft skin. “don’t care about that..”
“well i do. there’s not air conditionin’. it’s hot.” ellie just smiled pitifully at you. then she leaned in and trailed gentle kisses up your neck. moving your hair away so she had better access. you let out a surprised whimper. not expecting it. the most you and ellie had ever shared was a kiss. after that one kiss you locked yourself in that prayer shed. “this is wrong..” you whimpered out. you tried to focus on that light your father preached about. this was a distraction. from the devil. but god it felt so heavenly.
“it’s not wrong baby.” she whispered between little kisses. she was careful not to leave any marks. she knew what your father would do if he saw them. her hand slowly slid your dress up your thigh. revealing more soft skin for her to worship. “tell me you want me.” she kissed up your jaw line. then to your cheek bone and finally your forehead. waiting for that sweet voice to give her the consent.
“want you..” you couldn’t help but give in. everything in your mind was screaming at you to push ellie off and run to that altar. but you couldn’t. you wouldn’t. as soon as those words left your mouth, ellie pushed you back onto the table. she propped your legs up on the polished wood and slid your panties off. immediately dropping to her knees in front of you. your sweet scent filling her nostrils. she wasted no time diving in and lapping at your pussy.
a strangled moan escaped your lips. your eyes widening and staring up at the dark ceiling. the only light was a table lamp that casted a glow over the both of you. you’ve never felt anything like this before. your hips bucked into her mouth. that tongue was fucking magical. you clamped a hand over your mouth to keep anymore moans from spilling out. her hand found your free one. intertwining your fingers. soft whimpers and the noises of ellie eating you out filled the small library.
you were gasping and whining under your hand. as ellie’s tongue lapped slowly at your pussy her finger came up and rubbed tight little circles on your clit. trying to relieve that ache she knew you felt. she grunted softly against your pussy. your taste drove her crazy. she felt your pussy tighten and a little buck of your hips. then she pulled away suddenly.
you whined at the loss of contact. no longer trying to contain your noises. you looked up at her as you watched her start unbuttoning her jeans. sliding them down along with her boxers. she got onto the table with you and helped you out of your dress. that pretty bra that matched your panties too.
she pulled you onto her lap. your legs tangling so you were in a scissoring position then gently started helping you grind your pussy against her own. watching as your face contorted into one of surprise and pleasure. your hands gripping the the fabric of her shirt that was still on. soft moans slipping past your lips. “there you go baby..just like that.”
her voice was so damn hot. and those words too. you started getting the hang of grinding your hips just like how ellie guided. your pussies aligning perfectly. she let out a moan of her own. the sound making you even wetter. she leaned down and captured one of your nipples. her tongue running over the peak as your grinding got more needy.
her hand slid down to your ass to grip harshly. her eyes never leaving your face as she altered between your breasts. her other hand was behind her propping herself up. her bicep flexing which made you moan. you felt heat pulling in your tummy.
your hips moved with more fervor. moaning with each breath. ellie pulled off of your breast and leaned her forehead against yours. “so close aren’t you? come sweetheart..” with a few more thrusts of your hips you finally came. all the guilt and worry releasing with it.
a sob of pleasure escaped you. completely collapsing against ellie. she hadn’t come yet but she didn’t care. as soon as you were taken care of. both of your soft pants was the only sound in the library. her hand coming up to gently pet your hair. followed by a soft kiss to your head.
“might have to start coming to church more often.”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
an: this was an anon requests i hope u like it! i’m also going to try to write for all of your requests bare with me. ily angels.
Warnings: cheating/infidelity (on a man yay!!), pregnant!reader, body worship, oral (r!receiving), light spanking, munch Ellie + aftercare.
The past seven months had been hard, especially with your belly swelling more and more each day which did not pair well with the southern heat. You felt huge and sweaty and gross almost always, your back was constantly aching, ankles easily swelling up if you did too much... it was taxing, punishing on your body as you pushed yourself through it one day at a time.
With a husband who was always too busy working to be home to help you out...
A few days ago, your lovely neighbour Ellie from across the way had brought you a tub of fresh strawberries, homegrown on her farm, as fresh as they could get. And you were craving them like nothing else mattered. The cravings you had during your first trimester couldn't compare to this, they weren't even close.
You needed those fucking strawberries. And Ellie? Just so happened to have an abundance of them, just for you.
She had expected to see you wander onto her farm, though she hadn't expected you to look so attractive in that pretty sundress, stretched tight over your bump, breasts swelling beneath the fabric like it was nobody's business. "Well hi there sweet'eart." She drawled, southern accent this as she dusted off her hands, standing from where she was fixing the fence to get a better look at you.
When it came to you, she couldn't look away even though she knew you belonged to somebody else she'd be dammed if she let you get away without her at least trying. It was hard to miss the underlying, flirtatious tone in her voice. You shouldn't react, you should tell her- or remind her that you're married. She knows, she speaks to your husband enough. Though she makes you feel... wanted, pretty even if you feel gross Ellie's tone and eyes alone leave no doubt she thinks you're a catch. "Hi Ellie, I wanted to ask if you were growing anymore strawberries? Baby is craving them and so am I... I can pay you if you want I don't want to be a bother-"
Ellie's low, amused chuckle cut off your nervous rambling as she stepped closer, her calloused hand coming to rest on your bump like it was the most natural thing in the world... like it was hers. Baby responded with an enthusiastic kick... weird. She doesn't even do that for your husband. "Ain't no bother, sweetheart. You come over and pick out as many straberries as you can carry, anytime you want. God knows I can't eat them all."
That's a lie, she usually makes jams or pies with them but she needed an excuse to see you more, and this was the perfect excuse. Was it selfish? A little. Did Ellie care? Not one bit. There wasn't an ounce of shame in her heart. "Really? Oh Ellie thank you so much! Saving my life, truly." You give her a smile, a genuine one. One that reaches your eyes, not the type of smile you're always plastering on around that husband of yours when he's here.
She'd steal you, save you. She had to.
⊹˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹
A few days later, the familiar craving stirred up again so you headed across the way to Ellie's farm. Ellie was already out there, the sun beating down as she moved hay bales from her truck to the barn. "Afternoon Ellie!" You call out as to not startle her when she turned back around... little did you know she'd spotted you thr minute you stepped foot onto her land.
Acting pleasantly surprised, she turns to face you. "Back for more, sweet'eart?" The term of endearment had heat spreading over your skin that had nothing to do with the sun.
Sheepishly you smile, dress swaying around your ankles as you get closer. "Guilty as charged." To your surprise, Ellie presents you with a small wicker basket, with a pretty bow tied on the handle.
"Half expected you to come back for more, figured a pretty thing like you deserves a pretty basket." She hands it over, the rough, calloused fingers brushing over your briefly, now whether it was your hormones, lack of attention down there from your husband or simply the fact that Ellie was easily the most attractive person you ever laid your eyes on... heat spread through your tummy, pussy fluttering at the simple touch.
"This is perfect... thank you." Ellie never missed anything, not the flush of red on your cheeks that wasn't from the sun, not the way your voice dropped quieter, more shy whenever she so much as complimented you. "Take as many as you need, darlin. Fill your boots."
With a smile you take your new basket over to the few strawberry bushes and bend over to inspect the ripe, juciy goodness hanging off the plants, your shyness quickly dissolving into a hunger- not just for Ellie but for the red pieces of heaven in front of you.
Ellie lent against the bed of her truck, one foot crossed over the other, arms folded with her nails digging into her skin as she took you in- enjoying the view you were so freely giving her. Bent over, bump swollen and growing larger by the day, breasts swaying in a way that revealed you had no bra on- possibly from them being so sore this far into the pregnancy. Skin and hair glowing in the sun... there were no words to describe you.
"Got some freshly made iced tea inside, sweetheart. Come in for a glass?" After picking the tastiest looking strawberries you nod, carrying your basket with you as you follow Ellie inside.
Her plan was working...
⊹˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹
Over a glass of the best tasting iced tea you'd ever tasted, natrually you speak to Ellie like it's second nature, confinding in the kind farmer about how little your husband is around to help out, even now when your pregnant. How you've been feeling lonely for a while and this is only making it worse. And especially how little intimacy you've been getting since becoming pregnant, feeling like he finds you less attractive like this.
"Now you listen to me sweetheart, and listen well. There ain't a damn thing wrong with ya, nothing at all. That man is a fool to not see what beauty he has right in his hands and I'll be damn proud to help show you, married to that sack of shit or not."
Ellie's words struck something deep inside you, awakening a burning heat that had been dormant for far too long. The wetness seeping into your panties was everything to do with Ellie, and you'd be foolish to turn her offer down, even if it was morally wrong. "I really shouldn't..." the words weren't believable to your own ears, let alone Ellie's.
"Stop thinkin' about what you should and shouldn't do and start thinkin' about what you want. What you need." She backs you up against the counter, strong, rough hands holding onto your hips like an anchor.
"Bet if I check your panties I'll find out exactly what you need, sweetheart. Should I check? Or are you gonna be a good girl for me and use your words?" When you hesitate, even slightly she takes your hand in hers, taking you upstairs to her room. As she kicks the door shut behind her and toes her boots off she gestures to the bed.
"Hands and knees, sweetheart. Let me take care of ya the way that husband of yours can't." She doesn't say won't because she knows even if the guy tried, his skills couldn't compare to hers, and you were about to enter a whole new universe of pleasure.
"Ellie this feels... wrong." But your body was moving onto the bed, betraying the lies your mouth were spewing. You knew you should feel bad, you shouldn't want it. Though that was the problem... you did want it.
"You ain't gonna enjoy this if you keep worryin', he won't find out if you don't tell him." Your cheeks burn as Ellie flies your dress up over your hips, revealing your simple, comfy white cotton panties with a very clear wet patch in the center. Lace and anything sexy went out the window the moment your bump arrived. "I should've worn something nicer I'm sorry..."
You can't see Ellie's face, but you hear the chuckle she lets out as her knees hit the floor behind you. "The chocolate is still just as sweet inside the wrapper darlin." She doesn't bother to hide her groan off appreciation as she peels your panties away from your soaked pussy lips, licking her own lips as she salivates. When you place a delicious meal in front of her she's going to drool.
Her hands move up your thighs, leaving your panties around your knees as she spreads you open, reveling in the little, embarrassed sound you make as she opens you up to her gaze. "I'm sorryi didn't shave either I... I didn't know and I can't reach and-" your feeble apologies are cut off as Ellie's hand comes down on your ass, not hard, just enough to cut off your unneeded apologies.
"Nonsense. Look at you darlin, pussy is dripping for me, it's all for me ain't it doll?" And with that, Ellie stops holding herself back as she drags her tongue over your slit, gathering the wetness onto her tongue and swallowing it down greedily- this was for her as much as it was for you.
Her fingers dig into your meaty, fleshy thighs as her tongue dips in and out of your clenching entrance over and over, earning her the sweetest moans she'd ever heard. Music to her ears- literally. "Ahhh- Ellie oh m-my god..." your hips naturally push back, seeking more of the intense pleasure you've been missing for months... maybe your whole life.
"That's it sweet thing, give it all to me sweet'eart." The vibration on your clit from her mumbled words send shockwaves of pleasure through you, your hole desperately clenching around her protruding tongue. Ellie lapped and sucked up all of the sweet, heavenly juice that was leaking from your needy cunt, greedily swallowing it down with moans of her own. Whether it was pregnancy, hormones or lack of intimacy you were leaking like a fountain, christmas came early.
"Nghhh E-Ellieeee right there... oh fuuuck..." you couldn't help the pathetic, needy whine that left your lips as Ellie's thumb brushed over your clit, circling it in time with her thrusting, warm tongue. Her free hand had moved to your front, sweetly rubbing your bump as she ate you out like a starved woman from behind. "Language, sweetheart, baby can hear you now."
She knew. Either Ellie was a genius or she had researched pregnancy- either way her teasing concern was hot and sent you spiralling towards release. "Mmph 'ts toooo good 'm sorryyy..." your hips were moving on their own accord now, grinding your cunt back onto her tongue and thumb. Ellie never slowed or faltered, keeping her pace just right to let you take what you so desperately craved. She'd let you use her anytime you needed- despite her confidence she was a little pathetic like that. You had her in your hands and you didn't even realise it. "Ohhh Ellie I'm... I'm g-gonna..."
Your hips roll and push back, further burying Ellie's face into your glistening pussy, your pubic hairs tickling her cheeks as you suffocated her. Throughout it all she never stopped, never complained, never faltered as you rode out your orgasm, soaking her tongue and lips with your sweet nectar. Ellie being Ellie greedily guzzled the sweet treat down, not wasting a drop as she dragged her tongue through your folds and over your clit to clean you up. She pressed soft, wet kisses down your thighs, all the way to your knees before pulling your panties back up.
"Lay down, sweet thing.. there you go." She helped you move from your hands and knees to you back, taking a seat beside you as she rubbed your bump as if it were her own...
"Ellie?" She looked down at your flushed face and messy hair, proud that it was her that made you look so blissed out. This was what you needed, what you deserved. "Yeah darlin?" In your haste you hadn't even realised Ellie brought the basket of strawberries up with her until she was holding one to your lips. Letting her feed you you moan again, the sweetness filling your mouth and making baby kick happily. "I want to leave my husband."
Ellie chokes on her own spit, surprised, shocked and happy you just said that. She'd have you in a heartbeat, take the baby in as her own. Hell she was possessive and protective enough over you, what's one more? "You know I'll help ya, you deserve to loved, sweetheart. I can't promise I'll be perfect, I'm messy and stubborn as horse shit but I'll be here. I'll always be around."
Her word soothed your soul in a way you never knew existed. It felt right, she felt right like coming home after a long day. Warm, safe, loved. You know what they say... if a man can't get the job done ask a woman.
That night you lay awake staring at the faint rectangle of streetlight bleeding through the blinds. The ceiling fan clicked once every rotation. Pipes knocked somewhere in the walls. A car passed outside, tires hissing over damp pavement. Each small sound landed sharp in your ears, too loud in the quiet.
Ellie’s breathing in the living room had taken a long time to slow. Even after it did, you stayed still, replaying the way her hands had tightened, the sudden force in her grip, the flash of anger — or fear — that had crossed her face when you were intimate. The memory made your stomach tighten.
Why had she gotten so violent?
You shifted on the mattress and the sheets whispered against your legs. Peter’s collar tag gave a tiny metallic chime when he repositioned at the foot of the bed. You closed your eyes, opened them again, watched the thin stripe of light crawl along the wall.
Sleep finally dragged you under sometime before dawn.
You woke with a slow stretch, joints stiff, the taste of sleep dry in your mouth. Pale morning light filled the apartment, soft and colorless. For a moment you lay still and listened.
Nothing. No footsteps. No cupboard doors. No running water. Still asleep? You pushed yourself up and walked into the living room.
Empty.
The couch cushions were undisturbed. The air held the faint smell of yesterday’s coffee and laundry detergent. A small square of paper rested on the coffee table.
You picked it up.
Be back, getting apology breakfast. – El
A scoff slipped out of you as you set it back down. Your eyes caught on her jacket draped over the chair by the door. She must’ve thought it was warm out.
You moved into the kitchen and poured kibble into Peter’s bowl. The metal clinked against the tile and he darted forward immediately, tail twitching, releasing a gravelly, satisfied meow as he buried his face in the food.
The door lock clicked.
You turned.
Ellie stood frozen in the doorway, eyes wide, balancing a cardboard drink carrier in one hand and a crumpled brown paper bag in the other.
“Shit!” she blurted. “Oh man — sorry.”
Her brow pinched tight. She nudged the door closed with her heel like she wasn’t sure whether to come in.
You leaned against the counter, arms crossing over your chest, studying her.
She wore the same jeans from last night, creased and dusty at the knees, and a white tank top stretched across her shoulders. Her hair stuck up in uneven pieces like she’d run her hands through it repeatedly.
You stood barefoot in an oversized T-shirt and a g-string, hair flattened on one side from sleep.
You nodded toward the drinks.
“Apology breakfast?” you asked, a smirk tugging at your mouth as you turned and walked into the living room, motioning for her to follow.
You heard her swallow before her footsteps trailed behind you.
“Yeah,” she said, clearing her throat. “I acted way out of line.”
She rubbed the back of her neck and looked toward the floor.
You dropped onto the couch, took one iced coffee from the carrier, and punched the straw through the plastic lid. Ice knocked against the sides.
“You did,” you said, taking a sip.
Cold sweetness hit your tongue. You nodded. “This is good.” You glanced at the other drink sweating in its cup and lifted a brow. “Not a coffee type?”
She shook her head. “No.”
She opened the bag carefully and pulled out two wrapped bagels — identical: bacon, egg, and cheese.
You took one, unwrapped it, and sat back. You patted the cushion beside you. “I’ll forget you acted that way.”
She looked at you immediately, something cautious and hopeful in her eyes.
You chuckled.
“If…” you lifted your brows. “If you change my brakes for free.”
It was a long shot. You needed them done. You’d dealt with worse customers. Maybe jealousy wasn’t the worst thing.
She nodded once. “Deal.”
Relief loosened her shoulders.
You ate in quiet, the TV filling the room with low background noise when you switched it on. The morning news anchor’s voice shifted abruptly in tone.
A red banner crawled across the bottom of the screen.
You frowned.
“Only old people watch the news,” Ellie said quickly.
You rolled your eyes. “I like to know what’s happening. Plus—”
You leaned forward slightly. “Hey… that’s my ex’s apartment complex.”
Ellie went still. “Yeah?”
You nodded as the broadcast continued.
“A man found dead, stabbed thirty-seven times in his home. Police currently have no leads,” the anchor said.
Then the photo appeared on screen. Your ex. Your body locked. “Holy shit.”
Ellie kept chewing.
You turned toward her. “That’s my fucking ex!”
You set the bagel down, fingers numb, chest tightening as if someone had punched straight through it.
Ellie furrowed her brow. “Shouldn’t you be happy? He seemed awful. I mean… the way he cornered you in the lot?”
You swallowed hard. “I mean… he was gang affiliated. I knew it would happen eventually.” You took a slow breath, reached for the remote, and changed the channel. “I can’t look at that anymore.”
She nodded slowly, as if confirming something to herself, then reached over and rested her hand against the small of your back. Her palm was warm through the thin cotton of your shirt, steady, grounding. Her thumb brushed once, absentmindedly, just above your hip.
“I don’t like seeing you upset,” she said quietly. She gave a small nod, eyes dropping briefly before lifting back to you. “I like when my girl is happy.”
You stopped chewing.
The bagel hovered halfway to your mouth. Your eyes shifted to her face, searching.
“What did you call me?”
Ellie’s ears flushed first, then her cheeks, color spreading across her freckled skin. She swallowed, throat moving visibly.
“Oh.” Her voice flattened, like she’d stepped somewhere she wasn’t sure she was allowed to stand. “I thought we… since last night. And the club. And your work.”
Her fingers flexed once against your back before she withdrew her hand.
You leaned back slightly, studying her, a slow smirk forming. “Is that what you want?”
She nodded immediately — too fast to hide it — lips pressing together afterward like she’d revealed too much.
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “Okay. I can be your girl.”
The words caught slightly as they left you. You forced them through your teeth with a half-smile.
There was truth buried in there somewhere. You did think she was cute. There was something earnest about her that tugged at you in ways you didn’t want to examine too closely.
But you also needed your brakes fixed.
You had done far worse things for far less.
Ellie licked her lips, gaze flicking to the table, then back to you. “How much is the rent?”
You paused mid-bite. “…Why?”
She shrugged, like it was obvious. “You’re my girl. I gotta take care of you.”
Your brow furrowed immediately. “No, Ellie.”
Her expression shifted. The softness drained from her face, replaced by something firm and immovable. Her jaw tightened. “I don’t want you putting yourself on display anymore at that nasty club.”
The words landed hard between you.
You swallowed the bite of bagel in your mouth, throat tight. “I can’t ask you to do that. You don’t live here.”
She cut in before you could continue. “Then I live here now.”
The room went very still.
Peter’s collar tag jingled faintly as he hopped onto the windowsill. Outside, a car passed, bass thumping faintly through its speakers.
You stared at her.
She stared back, completely serious.
No hesitation. No smile.
Your stomach dropped.
You suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to stand up, walk to the balcony, and launch yourself over the railing just to escape the intensity of the moment.
She took the bagel gently from your hand, her fingers brushing yours for a moment before she shifted closer across the couch. The cushions dipped under her weight as she crawled toward you, slow and deliberate, like she already knew what she wanted. Her eyes were soft and focused entirely on you, that familiar heat sitting just behind them. She leaned forward, closing the small space between your bodies, her lips parting slightly as she tilted her head to kiss you.
But the moment her face came close, your chest tightened.
The image of your ex flashed through your mind again. The news story. It sat heavy in your stomach, twisting the warmth that had been there only minutes before into something uneasy and cold.
Your hand came up instinctively, pressing lightly against her chest before her lips could reach yours.
“Not right now.” Your voice came out softer than you expected, but firm.
She paused immediately. Her brows lifted slightly in surprise before she leaned back, giving you space without protest. She sat back on her heels on the couch cushion, the bagel still in her hand, her expression shifting into something calmer.
“Oh.”
The room fell quiet for a moment. You could hear the hum of the refrigerator from the kitchen and the faint sound of a car passing outside on the street. You dragged a hand down your face and took a slow breath, trying to steady the strange tension coiling in your chest.
You forced yourself to focus on something practical. Something normal.
“The rent is seventeen hundred,” you said, your voice more measured now. “My electric is about a hundred. Gas is like fifty. I don’t cook much.”
You kept your eyes on the floor while you spoke, like you were doing math in your head, like this was just a normal conversation between two people trying to figure out living arrangements.
She nodded slowly as you spoke, chewing a small bite of the bagel like she was considering every number you gave her. “I can have that by the first.”
You froze.
Your head turned toward her slowly. “You’re not paying all of it. What the fuck?”
She looked almost amused by your reaction. A small crooked smile spread across her lips and she leaned back into the couch cushion, one arm draped over the backrest like she owned the space already. The expression on her face had that same teasing confidence you had seen at work so many times.
A mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“If I pay it,” she said slowly, watching your face, “you’ll have more money to get your nails done. Do your hair. Be pretty for me.”
Her teeth caught her bottom lip for a second as she said it, the words coming out smooth and deliberate. “I’ve got cash.”
Your brow furrowed immediately.
Something about the way she said it made your stomach twist again. Not entirely bad. Not entirely good either.
“Then no more seeing me at work.” The words left your mouth before you could second guess them.
You pushed yourself up from the couch, grabbing the empty bag from the bagel and crumpling it in your hand as you stood. The small kitchen trash can sat near the counter and you walked toward it, trying to shake the strange tension running through your body.
As you passed her, she moved.
Her hand slid out casually and brushed across your hip.
It was a slow touch. Not accidental. Her fingers pressed lightly against your side before gliding over the curve of your waist. The contact was warm and deliberate, lingering just long enough to make your breath hitch.
“I can just see and touch you here,” she murmured.
Her voice was lower now, rough with that same quiet hunger you had felt when she leaned in to kiss you earlier.
Your stomach flipped.
You kept walking, forcing your legs to keep moving as you dropped the trash into the bin. The kitchen suddenly felt smaller than it had a few minutes ago. The air heavier.
Your heart hammered hard in your chest as you gripped the edge of the counter and stared down at the surface, trying to gather your thoughts.
What the fuck had you gotten yourself into.
But god, even if you kept this up for a couple months, you would be able to save enough to finally move cities like you had always talked about. The thought slipped into your mind quietly, almost like a whisper trying to justify everything. You had wanted out of this place for years. New streets. New bars. A different skyline that didn’t carry memories on every corner.
You preferred women anyway. That had never really been a question in your mind. Men had always felt like something you tolerated rather than wanted.
And it wasn’t like you hadn’t done worse to survive.
You swallowed slowly as the memory surfaced. One desperate night. One landlord who had leaned against the doorframe and made it very clear how late your rent was. You had let him push you onto the mattress and put it in your ass just so you wouldn’t get thrown out onto the street. You remembered how your tears soaked your pillow and all you could think about was the beach with your mother as a child. How you’d gone somewhere else to escape the pain in your body at the moment.
Compared to that, this felt different.
At least this time you liked the person touching you.
You took a slow breath and walked back into the living room.
“You’re sweet,” you murmured, trying to keep your voice steady. “I need to get ready for work.”
She scoffed immediately.
The sound was sharp as she pushed herself up from the couch, running a hand through her hair as she stood.
“Call off.”
There was something almost offended in her tone, like the idea of you leaving her apartment for something as ordinary as work was ridiculous.
She was clingy.
You turned around, shaking your head as you reached for your bag near the door.
“I can’t,” you said. “I never do that.”
You had always prided yourself on that. Showing up. Being reliable. It was the only thing that kept your life from completely unraveling some weeks.
She rolled her eyes dramatically.
“Just once?” she asked, her voice softening as she stepped closer. Her eyes lifted toward you with exaggerated puppy dog innocence.
You bit your lip, hesitating.
The temptation flickered through your mind for a second.
Then she reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out her wallet.
You watched as she opened it and slid several bills out between her fingers.
Five crisp hundred dollar bills.
Before you could react she tucked them right into the waistband of your pants, pushing the money against your stomach.
“Cmon,” she said softly, her voice suddenly gentle. “Go get your nails done. Relax.”
Your breath caught.
Five hundred dollars.
Your fingers trembled slightly as you pulled your phone out of your pocket. The screen lit up in your hand while you opened your messages to text your boss.
But something strange caught your eye.
Your notifications looked… wrong.
Your stomach tightened.
Your ex had called you yesterday at four in the morning.
Twenty times.
Before you could even scroll through the call log, Ellie leaned over and grabbed the phone right out of your hand.
“Weird he called you,” she said.
Her voice sounded different now. Tighter. Almost shaky.
She was already walking toward your kitchen while she stared down at the screen, scrolling through the calls quickly. Checking the timestamps. Checking if you had answered.
You stepped forward quickly and ripped the phone back out of her hands.
“You’re being weird,” you scoffed.
But your finger slipped against the screen.
The voicemail started playing.
His voice burst out of the speaker.
“Did you send someone after me?!”
His voice was shaking badly. You could hear the panic in it. The sound of heavy breathing between his words.
“You bitch I hear them outside. I know you fuckin did thi—”
The message cut off abruptly.
Silence filled the kitchen.
Your whole body started shaking.
Your lungs felt tight as your breathing sped up.
“Holy shit,” you muttered under your breath. “Ellie I need to show this to the police.”
She rolled her eyes immediately.
“He was a gang banger,” she said casually as she reached for your phone again. “Delete the fucking message.”
You shook your head quickly. “No. No that… I don’t…”
Your words tripped over each other.
Your thoughts were spinning too fast.
She grabbed your face suddenly.
Her hands were firm against your cheeks as she pulled you forward and kissed you.
Your words disappeared against her lips.
She spoke softly right against your mouth. “Delete the fucking message.” Her breath was warm. “Go relax. Get your nails done. Do your hair.”
Her voice lowered into a quiet murmur. “And buy some panties for me to fuck you in.”
Your mind felt foggy.
You nodded slowly.
She took the phone from your hand again and quickly deleted the voicemail before you could process what was happening.
Then her hands slid up your stomach and around your hips, pulling you closer against her body.
“I can’t wait to get a taste of you later,” she whispered as her lips brushed against your neck.
Your breath hitched sharply.
“Ellie,” you gasped as her hand moved to press over your pussy through your pants.
She chuckled quietly against your skin.
“Stop worrying about shit like that,” she murmured softly. “He was an asshole. He got what he deserved.”
You nodded faintly, still trying to catch your breath.
Then you turned and walked toward the bathroom to start getting ready for the day.
As you closed the bathroom door behind you, you heard Ellie settle back into the living room.
butch cowboy!ellie x farmer's daughter!reader - warnings: internalized homophobia, a little angsty/kinda sad, alcohol intake and drunk driving (don't drive drunk yall!) - minors dni - wc: 4.8k - note: each chapter is named after a country song so if anyone fw country music and wants me to make a playlist for this once I finish lmk!
A few months had passed since you last spoke to Ellie.
Half a week after the incident, Ellie found you sitting on the porch swing. You were taking a break from collecting eggs from the chickens (and a break from watching Ellie cleaning one of the horse's hooves). You weren't expecting her to acknowledge you, let alone try and talk to you.
“Hey,” she greeted, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Feelin’ alright? Heard you wasn't feelin' well the other day.”
You nodded. “Yeah, I'm much better. Thank you for askin’. You feelin’ alright?”
“Hm, ‘bout as good as I can I reckon.”
“Well, that’s good, I s’pose,” you looked up at Ellie, who was holding her hat against her chest. She had a look on her face like someone died and she was coming to give you the bad news. Or her condolences.
“I wanted to, um, I wanted to apologize fer what I said. About… y’know, the natural thing,” she mumbled, taking a seat next to you. “It ain't fair of me to make you feel some type of way all cause I feel some way ‘bout myself.”
“I forgive you, Ellie. Thank you. I know you didn't mean it like that. I know yer hurtin’ on the inside. I’m sorry I brought that hurt out.”
“Not yer fault,” Ellie sat back, sprawling her legs out and resting her arms on the back of the swing.
“It sorta is. I shouldn't have kissed you without askin’ first.”
“Darlin’, you know I wanted the same thing. I jus’ struggle. That's all.”
“I get it. I struggled a long time too. I jus’ hope you can get over yer struggles. No sense in hatin’ who you are.”
“I’ll never get over it,” Ellie spoke softly. “I think of myself as sick. I… I am sick.”
“Am I sick, Ellie?”
Ellie turned her head towards you, her green eyes staring deep into you. You wanted to look away, suddenly feeling small under her gaze. It was obvious she was genuinely pondering over it. Wasn't as easy as yes or no.
“There ain't nothin’ in ya that’s rotten,” she finally confessed, breaking eye contact to look at the trees swaying in the wind.
“I’d like to think you can look at yerself in the mirror and say the same thing ‘bout you,” you whispered.
“You got a lot of faith in me for someone who hasn't known me long at all.”
“Of course I do, Ellie. I have faith in everyone. Oftentimes in people who don't deserve it but I know you do. I can see you, Ellie. I understand.”
Ellie shook her head. “You can't.”
“But I can,” you repeated, emphasizing each word.
Ellie chuckled. “You’re sweet. Too sweet. No one is this nice.”
“Well I am.”
“I wish I could say that’s a good thing,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothin’. Don't think ‘bout it too hard,” Ellie stood up, placing her hat back on her head. She turned towards you, a sad smile on her face. “I oughta get back to work. I jus’ wanted you to know how sorry I am.”
She turned around and started heading down the stairs. She was walking slowly, kicking at the rocks beneath her feet. You wanted to catch up with her, offer a hug, ask to be friends, something, anything. But you sat still on your porch swing, watching Ellie until she was out of your line of vision.
You saw Ellie every day during the week and missed her when it was the weekend. Every now and then, the two of you would make eye contact and she'd tip her hat at you. You’d wave back with a sad smile. You had hoped that your crush on her would go away so that the constant ache in your chest would leave but it never did. Every night, you drifted off to sleep wondering how she was and you'd wake up hoping she fell asleep to the thought of you too.
Ellie did. You were the only thing she could think about. What you said about how you wished she could accept herself ran through her mind often. It was what got Ellie to start trying. She never thought she could, or that she would, but she was trying and having a hard time with it. Ellie wasn't the type to talk much about her feelings but this was one of the rare cases that she wished she had someone to talk to. The only person she could think of was you. She had spent days, weeks even, building up the courage to even say hi to you. Every time she told herself she’d do it, she’d chicken out.
One evening while Ellie was getting ready to head home, she heard a vehicle pull up and voices yelling out your name. She peeked over her truck to see you running through the yard. You hopped into the truck bed and the driver sped off. Ellie thought back to the note you gave her about finding you at Millers if you're not home. Ellie sighed and got in her truck. She hadn't been to Millers since Joel died. Although she planned on never going back, she found herself in the parking lot instead of at home with her dog.
Ellie sat there, frozen and staring at the blue neon sign. She drove past the bar all the time but hadn't been close to it in over a decade. She wasn't sure if she could go inside. She was wanting to, though, to the point her chest burned. Even if all she did was catch a glimpse of you then leave, it'd be enough. But what Ellie truly wanted was to talk to you. About what? Ellie wasn't sure. She’d find out once she was in your vicinity. She glanced over at the six pack sitting in the passenger seat that she bought on the way here. She was already four deep, working on the fifth and starting to feel way more than just a buzz. It had been awhile since Ellie last had a drink. She was a lightweight now. She realized the other two six packs she had in the cooler was too much.
Through her slightly blurry vision, amongst a few bodies piling out the bar, she noticed you walking out and heading towards some crates that were against the wall of the building. You sat down and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Ellie hesitated for a moment before stepping out of her truck. She stumbled slightly towards you, giving you a big smile once you looked up at her.
You were surprised. You didn't think Ellie would want to be near you, definitely not enough to seek you out. Being this close to her again made your chest hurt. You grinned back at her, pushing away the discomfort.
“Howdy,” Ellie greeted.
“Howdy, Ellie.”
“Mind if I bum a cigarette, darlin’?”
You shook your head no, reaching back into your jacket pocket and pulling out the Marlboro reds. “Here, wanna sit?” you offered, passing her the cigarette.
“Mhm, got a light?”
Ellie sat down next to you with the cigarette placed between her lips. You took your lighter out and opened the top with your thumb. You flicked the switch and held the flame up to the end of the stick. You looked into her eyes to catch her already staring deep into yours. Her lids were lowered, eyes glassy from the alcohol she had. Your breath hitched at the sight. Ellie leaned back against the wall, taking a drag and blowing the smoke out towards you.
“Don't need the lighter anymore, sweetheart,” she chuckled. You glanced down to see that you kept the lighter ignited. You quickly shut it and shoved it back in your pocket out of embarrassment.
“S-So, Ellie, what are you doin’ here? Didn't… expect to see you here.”
“I saw you leavin’ an’ I thought back to that letter you wrote me. Said I'd find you here.”
“Is there a reason you came, Ellie?”
“Hm, do I need a reason?”
You took a puff from your cigarette and shrugged. Ellie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. Her legs were spread wide. Her jeans kept barely brushing your bare thigh.
“I jus’ wanted to see you,” Ellie finally admitted quietly. “Is that alright?”
“Course it is, Ellie.”
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the only sound being the muffled music coming from inside the bar. You took one last drag from your cigarette and threw the filter out into the parking lot. You found yourself almost reaching in your pocket to grab another one. Being around Ellie made you nervous and when you were, you’d chain smoke.
“I don't want… I don't want you to take this the wrong way, Ellie, it’s jus’... I didn't think you'd wanna be around me. I’m happy you're here but why? Only to see me?”
“To see you an’ to hear your voice.”
“Ain't nothin’ special ‘bout my voice.”
“There’s somethin' very special about your voice. Especially when…” Ellie trailed off with a sigh.
“Especially when what?”
“When you say my name,” she whispered, silently praying you didn't hear her.
You glanced down at her hands to see her thumbs twiddling. You smiled. “You like hearin’ me say yer name?”
“Yeah,” she muttered. “I never liked my name til I heard it come out yer purty mouth.”
“Ellie,” you breathed. Ellie glanced over at you, taking a hit off her cigarette.
“Say it again.”
“Ellie.”
She turned her hand so that the cherry of the cigarette was facing her. She held it in front of your lips, her eyes never leaving yours as you sucked the smoke out of the filter.
“Can I take you somewhere?” inquired Ellie, taking the cigarette back and placing it between her lips. Ellie could feel your lipstick on the filter. She thought back to the kiss, feeling heat rise to her cheeks.
You blew the smoke you held in your lungs out, watching it drift towards Ellie. You nodded, standing up and straightening your skirt out. “I’m gonna tell my friends I’m headin’ out. Don't want them freakin’ out when they realize I'm gone. Meet you at yer truck?”
“Sounds good, sweetheart.”
Ellie walked back to her truck while you went back inside to say goodbye to your friends. Ellie went to the passenger’s side and opened the door, grabbing the beer that was left in the seat and putting it in the cup holder. Suddenly, she was grateful she had the extra six packs. She had a feeling the two of you would need them. Ellie waited for you patiently at the open door. After a few minutes, you were bouncing out of the building, your hair swaying gently behind you from the sudden harsh, hot wind.
“Is it gonna be cool where we’re goin’? I’m burnin’ up!” you exclaimed once you reached Ellie. You hopped inside her truck, letting Ellie shut the door behind you. She walked around the front and got into the driver’s side.
“Should be,” Ellie finally responded, turning the ignition to the truck. “Gotta drop by my place first. Grab a few things, feed Poncho.”
“Awe, could I come in and meet him? I love dogs.”
Ellie placed her hand on the back of your seat, smiling and nodding at you before looking behind her to make sure no one was coming. The sight of her looking so focused made your heart skip a beat. She was too pretty.
“I don't get company. Poncho is gonna be so excited when he sees you. He loves meetin’ people,” said Ellie as she sped out of the parking lot. “If you love dogs, why don't you got one?”
“Cause of Poppy. She ain't fond of dogs.”
“Normally I'd say ditch the cat an’ get a dog but… she ain't so bad.”
“Maybe one day, you’ll get a cat, Ellie.”
“Pft, fuck no,” she scoffed.
“Poppy wasn't enough to change yer mind on cats?”
Your eyes trailed down to the unopened beer in the cup holder. You reached down and grabbed it, cracking it open and taking a sip. You shivered at the horrendous taste but shook yourself out of it. You didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of Ellie. You placed the can between your thighs and held it there.
“Poppy’s an exception,” said Ellie. She glanced over at the beer can between your thighs and bit her lip. She averted her gaze back to the road, gripping the steering wheel. Don't be sick, she thought.
“I know you'll like cats one day. I'm sure I'll change yer mind.”
“Mm, don't know ‘bout that but I guess you could try.”
Ellie reached down and pressed play on her radio. The truck was filled with Townes Van Zandt’s voice. You rolled the window down a bit and leaned back in the seat, feeling the hot air fan your face.
-
It took ten minutes to reach Ellie’s house. Before you could hop out of the truck yourself, Ellie was already at the door and opening it for you. You jumped out, stumbling slightly and almost falling against Ellie. She grabbed your shoulders and balanced you with a laugh.
“You alright?” she asked.
“Yeah, jus’ a lil buzzed, I guess.”
“Guess you don't want to drink anymore tonight?”
You shrugged. “Might have another if you have one.”
“We’ll see,” she said, leading you to her door. “Don't want you gettin’ sick. You know yer limit?”
“Course I do!” you lied. You felt it might have been obvious with the way Ellie looked at you. She opened the door and rushed you in, muttering something about how she doesn't want Poncho to run out. On queue, Poncho came jogging over towards you. “Hi, Poncho!”
You got down on your knees, wrapping your arms around Poncho’s neck and placed a kiss on his head. “You sure are cute, mister.” You pulled away and caught a glimpse of a few grey hairs on his chin. “Aw, you’re an old man!” You scratched his ears and hugged him again.
“She’ll be fond of this one. I mean, look at his eyes! Ain't he sweet?”
Ellie could've stood there and watched you and Poncho all day. It made her heart warm up hearing you talk so sweetly to her dog. She shook herself out of her trance and headed off to her room to grab what she needed. Once Ellie had everything, she came out of her room and set it down on the couch. “Gonna feed Poncho real quick then we can head back out,” said Ellie.
“Alright, I’ll wait for you in the truck, then,” you stood up and gave Poncho one last head pat. “It was nice meetin’ you, Poncho. I hope I get to see you again!”
You walked outside, hopping back into Ellie’s truck. After a minute, she came out with a bunch of sheets. You turned around in your seat to watch her sprawling them out in the truck bed. What exactly did she have planned? Once Ellie was in the truck, you turned your body so your back was against the door.
“Where we headed?” you asked.
“Just over yonder,” responded Ellie, pointing across from you. “Got a lake right there.”
“Are we gonna swim?”
“Well, I didn't bring a change of clothes.”
Ellie started driving over towards the lake, cutting through the grass instead of pulling out of the driveway.
“It’ll be fine,” you said. “I love to swim. It’d probably help me sober up.”
“Well, guess we’re swimmin’, then.”
You felt so giddy. You hadn't had a chance to swim so far this summer. Usually you spend your summers mostly at the creek just a mile away from your house, wading through the water and admiring the nature around you. This year you've felt too busy. But you knew the real reason you hadn't gone down to the creek yet. It was too far from Ellie. And although up until this point it hurt you to see her, you still didn't want to be away from her. The more you thought about it, the more your chest ached. Was hanging out just a one time thing? You didn't want it to be. You were also worried that she wouldn't talk to you as much, like before. You've gotten a taste of something sweet and you wanted it to stay.
The lake came into view after what felt like forever but was only maybe a minute, if that. Ellie had backed her truck up so that the bed was facing the water. The two of you got out and met up by the bed.
“I was wantin’ to look at the moon and talk,” said Ellie, her hand motioning towards the sheets. “No funny business.”
“We can do that first before we swim, if you’d like.”
“Can't you talk an’ swim?”
“No,” you responded sarcastically. “I can only do one thing at a time.”
Ellie rolled her eyes, unbuttoning her shirt and letting it drop to the ground. You followed her actions, the both of you slowly undressing until all that was left was a bra and underwear. You quickly glanced down at Ellie’s sports bra and boy shorts. Ellie didn't notice since she herself was looking at your unlined bra and white cotton panties.
“Is that not uncomfortable?” questioned Ellie, her eyes flickering back up to your face.
“No, it’s very comfortable.”
“Can I be honest?”
“Always.”
“I kinda thought you wouldn't be wearin’ one,” Ellie started to walk towards the water, waiting for you to follow and to answer. You caught up with her and dipped your toe in to check the temperature. It was cool, thank God. You stepped into the water, taking breaks to get yourself adjusted before going deeper.
“Why would you think that?”
Ellie stopped briefly once the water reached her thighs. “You weren't wearin’ one when we…. y’know?”
“I was in the comfort of my own house,” you said, stopping once the water was at your shoulders. “Was it that obvious I wasn't wearin’ one?”
“You’re kiddin’, right?”
“No?”
“Yer top was see through.”
“What?” you shrieked.
“Don't tell me you didn't know.”
“I didn't know, Ellie! Why didn't you tell me?”
“Shit,” Ellie cussed, feeling embarrassed. “Hell, I thought you did it on purpose!”
“No!”
“I’m sorry, darlin’. I’ll be sure to tell you next time then.”
“It's okay, Ellie,” you said, placing your wet hand against your warm cheek. “I jus’ feel a little embarrassed now.”
“No need to feel embarrassed. It ain't somethin’ I haven't seen before.”
You sighed, leaning back to float on top of the water. Ellie’s eyes scanned over your body. Right away, she noticed your bra was see through. You leaned forward, placing your feet back down and brushed the water out of your hair.
“Is this… a bad time to, um… to tell you that yer bra is see through?”
“Oh God,” you groaned. Ellie started laughing, making you laugh along with her.
“Like I said, ain't somethin’ I haven't seen before.”
“Yer right, I don't know why I feel so shy about it.”
“No need to, you’re beautiful.”
You turned away from her in an attempt to avoid her gaze but she swam in front of you to catch it.
“Why are you hidin’ from me? You know you are,” Ellie complimented once again.
“This feels familiar,” you sighed.
Ellie didn't say anything else. The two of you floated around each other, staring up at the moon. You haven't felt this peaceful in a long time. You weren't sure if it was the scenery or if it was being near Ellie.
“Did you want to talk about anythin’ in particular?” you asked, breaking the silence.
“What do you mean?”
“You said you wanted to talk, did you have somethin' in mind?”
“I did.”
“Did or you do?”
“I do,” Ellie confirmed. “Jus’ hard for me to say it right now. Think I've sobered up too much.”
“Me too.”
“I got another six pack in the cooler, if you wanna work on it.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
-
Thirty minutes and two six packs later, you both were feeling good again. Ellie had her radio on and you both were naked, wrapped up in blankets while your undergarments and Ellie’s hung up on the side of the truck to dry. You were laughing at something Ellie said, leaning forward and nearly falling out of the truck bed.
“Woah,” Ellie drawled out, reaching out to push you back. “Maybe we should lay down.”
“Yeah, I'd like that,” you slurred, scooting back and laying down on the sheets. Ellie lied down next to you, turning her body so that she was facing you. You did the same, trying to ignore the spinning going on in your head.
“I wish the earth would slow down,” you muttered.
“Got the spins?”
“Yeah… but I mean somethin’ else.”
“Tell me,” Ellie urged, a soft smile playing on her face.
“I want the earth to slow down so that,” you paused briefly and took a deep breath in an attempt to get the spinning to stop, “so that this moment doesn't end.”
“I’d like that too, honey.”
“Drunk enough to tell me what's on yer mind now, Ellie?”
“I reckon,” Ellie looked up to the sky, the moon no longer in her line of vision. It hid behind the side of her truck. All that was left in the sky was the stars. “I jus’ wanted to tell you that I… I’m not better but I’m not so… harsh with myself. With everythin’. I think about… I think about you a lot. Think about what you said, ‘bout me lookin’ in the mirror and being able to say there ain't nothin' wrong with me. I ain't fully there but I don't feel as sick as before. Everyday is a step closer to acceptin’ myself. I only have you to thank.”
You let Ellie’s admission hang in the air for a moment, your drunk mind scattering to gather it all in your head. Once the pieces were put together, you grinned, reaching over to rest your hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “You don't know how happy that makes me, Ellie. I’m glad that what I said is helpin’ you but it ain't jus’ what I said that's doin’ it. You have yerself to thank, too. What else do you think is left to accept?”
“Sex,” said Ellie. “When I think about it, I stop myself. Tell myself to not be sick. Feelings, kissin’, thinkin’ about that don't make me sick no more. Jus’ sex.”
“You'll get there, it takes time. Don't push yerself too hard, okay?”
“I won't. Promise.”
You took another deep breath and glanced down at Ellie’s trembling hand. “Is it alright if I hold yer hand?”
Ellie nodded, letting you slip your fingers between hers. Ellie’s thumb brushed against your palm. It was smooth until her thumb glided over something welted. Ellie lifted your hand up, focusing her eyes to see the huge scar on your palm. “How’d that happen?”
Normally, you’d snatch your hand away. You didn't like thinking about how you got that scar on both hands and you hated when people noticed. But it didn't bother you that Ellie noticed. You didn't mind telling her the truth, either.
“Right before my mama died, she was… a wreck. She knew her time was comin’ and she was angry for a while. She was bedridden so daddy would have me bring all her meals to her. Brought her up some steak and was cuttin’ it up for her. She felt like she could do it herself and she… she yanked the knife from me. Tried grabbing it with both hands, not thinkin’ about the blade. Had to get stitches.”
“Fuck,” Ellie uttered. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. Wasn't on purpose. I was stupid and only twelve years old. I knew better but I wasn't thinkin’. Daddy was so mad at her but no one was angrier than mama. She didn't wanna see me for a bit.”
“She was angry at you?”
“At herself,” you corrected. “Seein’ me jus’ brought the pain back, I s’pose. I was mad at her over that for a bit. She stole time from us both over feelin’ sorry for herself. I was the stupid one. She died shortly after,” you rolled onto your back, glaring up at the sky. “Mama was independent. Always has been. She did everythin’ herself. She tended to her garden, tended to the animals, made dinner while daddy and I finished work for the day. Then she'd wake up early, make breakfast, start all over. She didn't like help. Only time she got it was when she was sick. She didn't like that, obviously. Took time away from us.”
“I lost my father figure to a wreck when I was nineteen,” Ellie confessed. “I met him when I ran away. I had nowhere else to go and he needed more hands on his ranch. He offered housin’ for any workers that needed it. He wouldn't let me work at first, considerin’ I was jus’ a kid but after some convincin’ he let me. We got close. He meant a lot to me. And I let a fight take time away from us.”
“I'm sorry for yer loss, Ellie,” her grip on your hand tightened. You squeezed it back in hopes it’d comfort her.
“His name was Joel. His brother, Tommy, is the one who owns Millers.”
“Oh my God, yeah, I know Tommy.”
“Yeah.”
Ellie raised up and looked down at you. She let go of your hand, motioning for you to follow her. She helped you out of the truck bed, holding the blanket around you up when you accidentally let go of it briefly. You pulled it back in place and thanked her silently. You could feel the earth below you spinning once again.
“It’s gettin’ late,” Ellie yawned.
“Y-Yeah, it is.”
“I… I think I'm too drunk to drive you home. You alright with spendin’ the night? I got some clothes you can wear.”
“That sounds good.”
“Yer dad won't wonder where you are?”
“I’m twenty four, Ellie. And he’s used to me stayin’ with friends often.”
“Makin’ sure,” said Ellie, leading you to the passenger’s seat.
Ellie got in after you, slowly driving the truck back to her house. Everything was starting to feel distant. You definitely had too much to drink and knew you'd probably regret it in the morning. You blinked and suddenly, you were in Ellie's room. “Oh,” you whispered.
“What? Want somethin' else to wear?” asked Ellie, holding up a camo shirt.
“N-No… I jus’ don't remember gettin’ in here. We were in the truck a few seconds ago.”
“Honey, that was ten minutes ago.”
“When did I put on underwear?”
“Okay, sit down, let me put this shirt on you,” Ellie demanded, concern evident on her face. She held onto your shoulders, helping you to sit down on the bed. You swayed slowly side to side.
“I don't remember feelin’ this drunk earlier.”
“Guess it caught up to ya,” said Ellie. She took the blanket from you, exposing your bare chest to the cool air. You hissed, wrapping your arms around yourself. “Sorry, you’ll be warm in a minute. Lift yer arms up for me.”
You raised up your arms, your teeth chattering from the cold. Ellie gently shoved your arms and head into the shirt and pulled it down.
“Better?”
“A b-bit,” you stammered, wrapping your arms around yourself again.
Ellie turned the light off. The only light left in the room was from the static of the tv. “You shouldn't leave yer tv on.”
“Oh, darlin’, you seriously are wasted,” Ellie helped you under the covers. She turned the tv off and crawled into the bed next to you.
“Wh-Why do you say that?”
“Yer the one who turned it on. Said you wanted to watch somethin’. I told you no and you started poutin’. You kept beggin’ for a solid three minutes.”
“Sorry,” you uttered.
“Don't be. The poutin’ was sorta cute.”
Ellie reached over and pulled you onto your side. You were now facing her in the dark. You tried to speak but whatever came out of your mouth was muddled. Your eyes were shutting by themselves despite trying to keep them wide open. The last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep was Ellie’s sweet voice telling you to have sweet dreams.
ellie who’s hopelessly in love with you and loves to write about you in her journal!!!
diary entry #2 : when you asked her to hangout
i think i’m going to combust. scratch that. i’m about to combust
she actually asked me to hang out after class today. like. just me. not a study session. not a group thing. JUST US. i swear my brain short circuited. i literally sat there pretending to causally say yes, like my fucking insides weren’t doing gymnastics. i didn’t even know that was possible. i probably looked like an idiot. ok. i definitely looked like an idiot. and honestly i don’t care
she smiled at me after i said yes. AND GET THIS. it wasn’t her normal smile. like the one she gives everyone. but a softer one. like she was actually happy i agreed. and wow. wow wow wow wow wow wow. my chest is still doing that weird flutter thing, like it’s trying to escape my ribcage. i keep thinking about that smile, over and over. and i can’t stop
fuck.
i spent the rest of the day walking around in a daze. every time my phone buzzed, my heart jumped. i kept hoping it was her texting me something about tomorrow. i keep rehearsing what i’ll say, what i’ll do, how i’ll act. like should i be cool? funny? casual??????? or like. be myself and hope that she likes me enough anyway. HELP
and then i remembered how close we sat in class today. how her shoulder brushed mine. how she laughed at my stupid joke, looking at me like maybe she was waiting for me to say something clever. and oh my god, i think i died right there at my desk
i seriously can’t believe this is happening. it feels like a dream, and i’m waiting for someone to pinch me. what if i say something stupid? what if i ruin it?? but then… what if this is the start of something? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. something more than just sitting next to her in class. more than passing notes and pretending i don’t notice the little things she does that makes my heart explode
i don’t even know what’s the plan for tomorrow. maybe ice cream maybe wander around and talk about nothing. maybe she’ll hold my hand and i’ll completely lose my mind. god, i hope she holds my hand
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
im supposed to sleep now, but my brain won’t stop going through the possibilities. i keep smiling like the dummy i am. she asked me to hang out. me. the world suddenly feels brighter. lighter. somehow perfect
