The Master and Margarita

18+ NSFW Please be of legal age if you are here. You can call me Woland. I'm a 40-something cis-gendered male dominant (preferred pronouns: he/him/his), in a long-distance hypnokinky D/s relationship with my Margarita.

[uneclipsing]

look at Diane Morgan as a knight right now. Look

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[pankendev]

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

[landsccape]

[klappersacks]

(via File Photo)

[mudwerks]

WTF are those obelisks on the right?…

[pricklylegs-deactivated20250727]

Tasty obelisk fries..

[memewhore]

“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.

[gingerhaze]

“It’s digestible”

[rhea314]

“It’s digestible” is pertinent!! Okay, for those of you who haven’t researched Crisco for writing fic about gay sex in the mid-late 60s:

The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.”  Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index.  Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5]  In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s.  Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco.  Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.

from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html

The more you know! :D

[nianeyna]

I have learned a new thing today.

[soupwife]

Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated

[nianeyna]

I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.

[dancinbutterfly]

but @rhea314 you didnt include a picture of the crisco disco! AND MY GOD THE DJ BOOTH WAS A GIANT CRISCO CAN!

Go dance and get fisted. Fucking iconic.

[mr-elementle]

Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food

[papapastoral]

And in case you were still wondering, @mudwerks.. Tuna Croquettes

[elf7knight]

This post is the opposite of net zero information. Not only did I learn several new facts about gay history but also we rounded our way back to the original question of the tag line and the mini obelisks.

It’s a net profit of information. 12/10 post

[nedlittle]

1920s guy driving a model t with a "i bought this before ford went crazy" bumper sticker

[into-wonderland-caroline]

[xxmasterandmargaritaxx]

“I am a library of all the things I’ve ever loved”

[phantastische-illustrationen]

Artwork for 'The Shockwave Rider' by John Brunner, 1989 (Barclay Shaw)

[hypnosenace]

[xxmasterandmargaritaxx]

🌀

[linagaen]

“Some say they get lost in books, but I find myself, again and again, in the pages of a good book. Humanly speaking, there is no greater teacher, no greater therapist, no greater healer of the soul, than a well-stocked library.”

— L.R. Knost (via windblownpages)

[departmentq]

This is the world capitalists want to return to.

Instagram

[lostxanadu]

there's been this romanticization of radicalization on the left for at least the past 5 years but probably closer to 10 that i think started with people being like "okay, if you think UBI is radical leftism, then sure, i'm a radical" but over the years has slid into just unironically embracing political extremism and violence

[ziskeyt]

seeing people say "what radicalized you?" become this seeming call of righteousness has been so strange. "human empathy radicalized me" i've seen a number of times, and i'm gonna be honest if you are radicalized i'm not sure that's because of empathy. to be radicalized is to become more extreme in your beliefs. hope may be a radical act in times where it can feel like we are on a path that leads to despair, but to hope for better, to believe we can do better and continue the work to make the future better for those who come after us is not extremism. as the world bends more toward conservatism i am not more extreme in my hope, i hold onto hope with the stubbornness of one who will not be moved from my position: the future is always coming, and we have it within us to make it better than our today through kindness, understanding, and refusing the siren's call of the tool that is dehumanization.

extremism leads to violence, and as we see over and over, violence only leads to more violence. to be radicalized is not a badge of honour.

[abogwitchnamedsage]

I don't know who might need to hear this, but I wanted to share something beautiful I had the opportunity to witness.

In the chaos and uncertainty around us, there is still so much love and hope.

A few weeks ago, a local international student nervously approached me and asked if I could photograph his wedding reception. We barely know each other — so much so that the only real thing he knew about me was that a) I was a graphic designer and b) he had seen me hold a camera. And the only thing I knew about him was that he came from overseas to study engineering in the U.S.

He explained that his friend (and expected photographer) couldn't make the trip. I sympathized and told him I had a similar situation with my wedding, but then he said something that made my stomach churn.

Almost all his family and friends overseas can't make it. So can't the bride's, as she's studying abroad as well. With the warmest smile, he says while he wishes his family could be there to celebrate, he's so lucky to have great friends who are helping them put on a small reception.

I told him I had it covered and I wouldn't accept payment. Photos like this will be invaluable over time, and I wanted to pay it forward as the volunteer photographer at my own wedding did.

The wedding was this weekend. I cried during it.

His fellow engineering students became wedding planners. A church opened its doors free of charge. Families of local students caught wind of the event and handled the food, learning cultural dishes from the bride and groom's home countries. A mom group banded together to make table centerpieces. A recently married couple donated their leftover decorations. There were almost one hundred guests. Most of us didn't know each other.

It was the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen. Not just because the bride and groom were so deeply in love with one another, but because strangers saw an opportunity to be kind. In a community where hate of anything 'foreign' seems to fester, a bunch of people saw two lovebirds separated from their families, stepped in, and said, "how can we celebrate love today?"

All I saw was love. Maybe we're not as doomed as we think we are.

[theresattrpgforthat]

I thought this video was just going to be about video games. I was pleasently surprised when C. Thi Ngyuen started talking about Apocalypse world about 13 minutes in.

He also says some beautiful things about how that which is often labelled "low art" is art that democratizes the process, and encourages participation in the medium.

[xxmasterandmargaritaxx]

Haven’t watched this yet but C. Thi Nguyen is really smart. Games: Agency as Art, his earlier book, makes the argument that games are art forms where the medium is agency, which sounds in line with this video.

[injuries-in-dust]

[modern-politics111]

[disregardandfelicity]

sounds very similar to a radio story i heard in 2014 ago about credit card debt. the debt got sold to a collection company and a couple received a court summons. they knew they had taken on debt, but they were confused about who this new company was and where specifically the number they were supposed to owe came from.

they show up in court and just ask the lawyer for the collection company: can you prove where this number comes from? Do you have a contract showing that you purchased our debt? probably luckily for them, a reporter researching a book on the topic showed up and asked the same questions.

10 minutes later they get in front of the judge and the collection company drops the whole case and theyre free to go. story is below, it has a transcript in the link too

Prologue - This American Life

Ira talks to reporter Jake Halpern about a scene he saw take place in a Georgia courtroom where a couple uttered some magic words that seeme

[evolutionsbedingt]

https://twitter.com/BrianManookian/status/1674963884703088642

Link to the twitter thread for accessibility!

[victusinveritas]

Behold! A $100,000-dollar American missile, launched by a $20 million plane that flies at a cost of $6,000 dollars/hour to kill people who live on less than $3 a day in Iran.

Meanwhile in America, Republican lawmakers believe that a $6.20 daily SNAP benefit providing food to a needy person is wasteful spending, so A BIG BEAUTIFUL ACT of legislation was passed to remedy that in order to bolster the economy of the greatest nation in the world. —Jacob Lassiter

[xxmasterandmargaritaxx]