yanong makata

titser na manunulat

[yanongmakata]

Your Smile

I’ve always loved your smile. Those little braced teeth peeking through your well-sculptured lips. Your smile that seemed to keep my darkness at bay. That upside down rainbow that always calmed my jittery heart and made it somersault inside my chest all at the same time.

I still love your smile. Even though it’s meant for someone else now. I still love you. Even though you’re meant for someone else.

[yanongmakata]

I Miss You

I miss you. I miss the you that sat right next to me while sipping her milk, talking to me while I’m waiting for my coffee to get a little cold. You would have leaned your head on my shoulder by now, hugged my left arm, and told me whatever was on your mind.

We still are sitting here. You sipping your milk, and me waiting for my coffee to get a little cold. You’re the one that got cold though. Now, you’re just sitting across me, drinking milk, looking at your phone, animatedly chatting with someone you like. And it hurts like hell to look at you smiling because of someone else’s jokes, or stories, or pick-up lines, or whatever is it you two are talking about.

[yanongmakata]

What Does Love Look Like?

When I was a kid, I always wondered what Love looked like. I asked my brother, "What does Love look like?" And, like a typical hormone-enraged Teenager, he answered, "Love looks like the cover page of dad's magazines hidden under the bed." Apparently, Love has a long hair, bouncy boobs, flat tummy, and long skinny legs. I didn't believe him, because I was supposed to be a girl. So I asked our nanny, "What does Love look like?" She was watching a telenovela when she answered, "Love has tantalizing eyes, a chiselled jaw, and six-pack abs... Oh, those abs!" I didn't believe her either. So, for a long time, through grade school and high school, I looked for what Love really looked like. I didn't find him or her. I didn't even know if I was looking for a him or a her.

Then, college came. My world stopped. I know it's a cliche. But it did. She IS Love! She had drooping sad beautiful eyes, voluptuous red lips, and a magnetic personality. I loved this Love for quite a long time. My world revolved around this Love. My world IS Love. But shit happened and so we parted ways. Then I realized she wasn't really Love. She was the IDEAL love.

What I didn't know, until recently, is that Love wears braces because her teeth are so small and are far apart. She has big round eyes, bushy eyebrows, a not-so-large-nose, and voluptuous lips. My god, those lips! Love gets angry when you tickle her. She cries when you wake her up. Love likes going to beaches. She’s absolutely addicted to thrift stores. She loves spicy food. Love's touches make my heart somersault inside my chest. Love's hugs calm my anxiety-induced palpitations. Her voice soothes the loud negative voices inside my head. Heck! Her presence calms the nervous wreck that I am! I didn't know Love was her. I didn't even know Love would fall in love with someone else no matter how hard I tried.

But, maybe Love was here all along. Maybe Love was the small girl asking her brother and nanny what Love looked like. Maybe she was the person who fell head over heels in love with the perfect college girl. Maybe she was the anxious person who thought she needed someone else to calm herself. Maybe Love wore glasses most of time. Maybe Love was a writer writing letters, poems, and stories for everyone but herself.  Maybe I was Love all along. Maybe I have to learn how to love myself first to become Love. Maybe I have to accept that I am Love too to be loved by Love back.

[yanongmakata]

Flash Fiction 1

I remember Honey whose name seemed so sweet on my tongue. Kids followed her whenever she walks past--chanting her name. Loud chants coming from innocent lips that picked one or two stories from their whispering mothers. "Honey! Honey!" Women whisper with each other whenever she's around. Hushed sounds from lips that are so used to telling stories about neighbors. Men licking their lips as they watch Honey walk past them. Letting libido dictate their hungry predatorial eyes follow their prey. One of them can't contain his lust, he whistles as Honey walked past. And they all laugh---the children, the women, the men.

[yanongmakata]

Invisible Man 1

I'm sitting on the floor, leaning sideways to her bed. I'm trying my best not to gaze at her. She's lying on her bed, watching Youtube videos, and occasionally talking to me. She doesn't notice how I seem to have trouble breathing because she's near. I've loved her for a while. (She knows. She friend-zoned me though.) The video suddenly stopped and I catch her smiling at her phone. Oh, yeah. It's that time of day again, when she chats with the guy she has a 'something' with.

[yanongmakata]

Thoughts

I'm currently binge-watching Lucifer and I realized something. When someone you think would understand, because they told you they would, you show them who you truly are. You don't just tell them who you are, you show them. However, when you do, they shy away.

I recently showed someone my 'true nature'. As in everything---flaws and all. Now, I think, I'm losing her. I understand her though. Knowing because you were told and knowing because you saw and experienced are two very different things.

Point is that I'm not THE devil, but I might as well be. Because if I wasn't, why the hell would people want to get away from me.

#JustFinishedSeason3

[yanongmakata]

#poetsofig #poetsofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BxZcjRqDqim/?igshid=m4ngremv4g0g

[yanongmakata]

[yanongmakata]

#poetsofig #poetsofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BxTzszdjnSd/?igshid=1mhcpv86zomby

[yanongmakata]

I'll do my best to be the best version of myself in this life. So I would get rewarded in the next life. I would get rewarded of having you stay with me until my last breath.

[yanongmakata]

[paperdollwrites]

[yanongmakata]

Wow. 😲👏

[yanongmakata]

Kuwento sa likod ng Masarap Mag-Isa:

Naisulat ko 'to nung panahon na na-realize kong mas mabigat mag-isa, mas mahirap, mas nakakapagod... pero mas magaan, in a way, kasi wala akong naiistorbo na tao. Walang nadadamay sa pagharap sa mga halimaw na nakatira sa utak at puso ko.

[yanongmakata]

Masarap Mag-Isa

Masarap palang mag-isa Yung tipong iniwan ka na nila Yung nagsawa na sila sa kakaintindi sayo Kaya unti-unti na silang nagsisibigayan Nang kung anu-anong rason para lisanin ka

Masarap palang mag-isa Tahimik ang mundo Ang tangi mong kasama ay sina Lungkot, pighati, at takot Magaan ang katawang nakahandusay lang sa kuwarto

Masarap palang mag-isa Di ka masasaktan pag nakita mong Walang pakialam sa mga pinagsasabi mo Ang taong kailangan mong makinig sayo Ang siyang tanging pinagkakatiwalaan mo

Masarap palang mag-isa Tanging ingay na naririnig mo Ay ang pakikipagtalastasan Nang iba't ibang personang Nakakulong sa isip mo

Masarap palang mag-isa Yung wala kang nadadamay sa Bigat na nadarama mo Na para bagang sayo nakasalalay Ang pagpapanatiling nakakulong sa mga personang nasa isip mo

Masarap palang mag-isa Walang mapapagod sa kakaintindi sayo Walang magsasawang samahan ka Sa tuwing karamay ang kailangan mo Walang mababaliw dahil sayo

Mag-isa ka Lasapin mo Tiisin mo Tanggapin mo Di ka karapatdapat Sa pag-intindi na kailangan mo

[yanongmakata]

English naman. Para maiba. 😁

[yanongmakata]

[yanongmakata]

Hugot makata!