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@yaotomesoba
“Who’s there?” (via)
So a lot of people think cut/fresh flowers are really expensive or decadent, and that it’s not worth buying them when they’re at a reduced price because they’ll die within about a day and it’s still Too Expensive and like I just. I need to let you know that it isn’t true and unless it’s a super special occasion and you’re going to an actual florist for an actual special bouquet you don’t have to, nay shouldn’t, pay full price for flowers ever. I mean I can only really speak for the UK where you can get flowers in the grocery store which is naturally cheaper than a florist, and also where I always get mine, but the techniques apply to “anywhere one can obtain a bunch of flowers” If you take care of your cut flowers - which don’t worry isn’t hard - the slightly sad looking slightly wilty half price ones will STILL last you two weeks. Observe:
Everything in that vase except the dark red flowers and the ivory roses was purchased, half wilted, in the reduced bucket an ENTIRE WEEK ago. The dark reds and ivories? TWO WEEKS (I don’t normally premade bouquets because they end up in the reduced less often and even when they do they’re still more expensive than getting a few bunches of different types of flowers) TWO. WEEKS. From a wilted half price “we are become death” state. Here’s what it looked like a whole entire week ago when I put the new flowers in:
(the big yellow bastard in the bottom left is also from the previous week) I mean they’ve still “hardly wilted” now and if I was so inclined I could leave it another couple of days, but this is normally the point at which I remove them and put new flowers in the gaps. Also, cut off the heads and keep them for a bath. You’ll feel So Fucking Fancy and it cost you nothing. So how do you revive sad looking cut flowers, cheat the system, and have a permanent display of vibrant colourful BUT ULTIMATELY CHEAP AS SHIT flowers in your home? 1. Remove the leaves. You can remove all of them if you like but the most important thing is removing leaves along the length of the stem which will be in water. If leaves are submerged they will begin to rot and just kill everything. You can keep the ones that poke out above the vase for bulk and Oooh Pretty Green if you want, or not. 2. Trim the stems with SHARP and CLEAN (preferably steralised by dunking in some boiling water) scissors or a SHARP and CLEAN knife. Do so at an angle. Chances are you need to shorten the stems so they fit in your vase properly anyway, but doing this allows for better uptake of water and nutrients. 3. Use a CLEAN container. If there’s a bit of grossness hanging around from previous flowers, scrub that shit out. 4. Give them cool water. I live in an area with very soft water so I don’t have to do anything, but if you don’t then either filtering it or letting it stand for a few hours first will help. 5. Use flower feed! Most bunches, at least over here, come with a wee sachet of flower food. If you DON’T get a sachet of feed you can MAKE YOUR OWN. It’s super easy. You need 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, 1 tablespoon of regular white sugar and half a teaspoon of bleach (yes really) per 1 litre (quart) of water. You won’t need a whole litre, obviously, but you can keep it in the cupboard in a bottle or just scale down the recipe. Put a teaspoon (or two if you have a big pitcher style vase) in your water. Different flower types optimally need different levels of sugar and you can totally look up what that ratio is if you only have one kind (like all roses or something) but 1 tablespoon: 1 litre works well enough. Now that your flowers are back to life, you can keep them looking good for a decent long while 1. Remove dead/wilted heads either as and when you see them or just like once a week (I’m lazy, I just do it once a week) 2. Remove any leaves that are going the same way 3. Once a week, change out the water. Fish out any plant material that may have fallen in, rinse the container, put in new water and feed. 4. When you’re doing the water change, give the stems another small trim. Only 1cm (half an inch) or so, unless the bottom of the stem is going pale and a bit limp looking, in which case lop off as much of that part as you can whilst still being able to fit them in the vase properly. If they end up noticably shorter than the others, just keep those ones to the outside of the arrangement OR put them in the middle and use the other flowers to keep them propped up within the water so they appear the same height. 5. Replace removed dead flowers with ones from your next cut-price bunch. That way you’re a) keeping a perpetual but ever-changing bouquet and b) need to buy less flowers at once than just waiting for everything to die off and replacing the whole thing. Cut flowers make me happy. I’m sure having a nice beautiful bunch of colourful flowers in your room makes you happy too, and you absolutely don’t need to spend a fortune to make that happen.
Can’t believe this has over 1000 notes anyway here’s my current “dying” flowers
From a sometimes flower-farmer who harvests and arranges bouquets for the farmer’s market, a couple more tips, especially if you pick your own flowers–
FRIDGE. “Conditioned” flowers sold at the farmer’s market? They last longer because they’ve been held overnight in a fridge. That’s it. We have a big walk-in cooler we put our harvests into, and once we’ve arranged the bouquets, they go in there. For a while we were doing all our harvests on Friday morning, arranging Friday afternoon, refrigerating the finished bouquets, and selling them Saturday, but the leftover flowers we were bringing straight into the house without refrigeration. The bouquets we sold at market lasted a week easily, but the ones we brought inside were dead by Thursday. Why? Fridge. They’d never been conditioned. So now we know– condition even the bouquets that don’t make the cut and stay home!
So if you have a nice fridge that’s not crammed full and has some air circulation in it and doesn’t get too cold? Consider popping them in there overnight just to perk them up. (Also, do your harvesting in the morning, if possible, for your own bouquets.)
Display them on a surface away from direct sunlight. Don’t let them get too hot.
And consider drying flowers! Look it up or just experiment, some dry beautifully, and then you can have some out-of-season color without needing to rely on flown-in blooms.
being a brown girl and growing up w white friends was so painful, when i have a daughter im going to do everything i can to make sure she grows up with other brown girls
there’s so much shame and humiliation in being a brown teenager surrounded by white girls. when i went through puberty it wasnt same as my friends
like they just…..grew, they got breasts and hips and kept it moving. i got facial hair before any of the boys we knew. my body hair was (and is still) dark, thick, prominent and all over.
my closest friend saw my pubic hair in the girls changing room and told the entire school about it. someone asked me if i was secretly a man. i went home that day, my 12th birthday, and held back tears as my family cut my cake. i leaned too far over my work in art class causing my shirt to hitch up and my back to be exposed, i didn’t notice until the laughter of the group of boys behind me was loud enough.
there’s so much shame in being brown and having body hair. there’s so much self-hatred towards the natural state of our bodies. so when i see white women (whose bodies mine has always been dichotomised against) partaking in body hair activism that doesn’t acknowledge this, when i see those tiny tufts of wispy thin blonde armpit hair dyed bright pastel colours, i feel no empowerment and no liberation - just the pain i’ve always felt within my own natural body.
i screenshotted this cos the actual comment they made is like 800+ words but imagine seeing a post by a brown girl for other girls of colour who struggle w body hair and thinking ah yes this is the perfect place for me to interject my congealed mayonnaise opinion that op is totally wrong about her own lived experience
i’m not black. not every black girl has “dark” skin. people with deeper skintones - black or not - have darker hair to match you racist dumb ass. be QUIET for two seconds. white people are banned from doing anything but reblog or like this post from this moment on, commenting rights have been revoked and you have not-your-everday-geek to blame
Literally almost every comment is white people going “yeah I’m blonde buuuuuut…” or “I’m white and I blah blah blah “ like damn nobody cares wtf y’all look like, for once stop talking over WOC!!! Not every narrative is yours to interject// claim!!!
I wanna hug every brown girls growing up insecure and feel unlovable for our natural bodies. You’re beautiful and even if you don’t consider yourself one at least know that you’re enough. No one should be shamed for being yourself.
please welcome: Brood X!
bonus
I was sad until I opened the Sims and made a dog called Chocolate Milk and I think you should look at him
i was sad until i opened tumblr and saw a dog called Chocolate Milk and i think you should look at him
Floating houses and random thoughts #pascalcampion
Have you heard the good word about the Pembrokeshire walrus yet?
This walrus is fucken lost.
But Wales has lost its collective shit about it. They're generally keeping its location secret to keep people away, but we get updates every day if it's still here, if it's happy, if it's healthy. We think it was in Ireland about two weeks ago, which is interesting, because it is not actually native to Ireland either. Why is it here? No one knows.
It seems to like Pembrokeshire beaches.
I regret to inform you all that the walrus is a delinquent.
In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.
It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.
Incredibly, this is not an April Fools
Today on English People RUIN Everything, a bunch of English tourists from Essex and Leeds broke covid-19 regulations and travelled to Tenby over Easter to try and see Wally (so named after Where's Wally) and crowded him with jet skis and surfboards and stuff, so he's not been seen since Monday. We don't know yet if he's moved to a secluded spot again, or left Wales entirely.
But, you know, I doubt we were going to have Wally for much longer anyway, since they need to head back home again at some point. Godspeed, Wally. May your fish be ever plentiful.
The English went back home and Wally came back to Tenby! We stan a true Welsh icon, folks.
Some facts about Wally:
She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot
She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village
She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her
She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!
The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet
She’s believed to be two years old
Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female
This story on Wales Online claims she’s believed to be male, but then uses female pronouns. It also features a video of some Welsh people chatting about Wally, including a child whose first language is very clearly Welsh and by the end of his part is struggling to think of things to say about the walrus in English.
WALLY UPDATE!!
The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?
He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)
His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck.
Has he learned from this?
FOLKS HE HAS NOT!
He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:
What an Icon.
The photographer of this picture, one Amy Compton who has been Wally’s official photographer since the start, has been making these delightful Wally masks (inset). They sell for £5, of which £1 goes to Welsh Marine Life Rescue. If you would like your own Wally mask, contact her here!
My mother came for a visit today and we checked and Tenby is an hour away from me, so we went for a Lovely Day Trip to Find a Walrus.
Friends, I took the shittest photo there has ever been of a Walrus. But I absolutely did get to see em.
A lifeboat wandered by to check em out at one point, and ey just... sank. Just dropped below the surface like Homer Simpson moving backwards into a hedge. After a while the boat left, and Wally surfaced again.
I can now confirm that ey really, really likes blowing water around like a whale, and also kept eyeing up that buoy next to em.
Also, I had entirely forgotten how comically beautiful Tenby is, but that's an aside
Time for a Wally Update!!!
It's only a little one, but apparently we're getting Serious about this walrus, lads - the police are now stepping in to say that anyone interfering with Wally (examples of this interference to date: throwing things at him, taking boats and paddle boards out to him, throwing fish overboard to tempt him closer, etc) is committing a criminal offence and we must send evidence of Assholes to them. So that's fun!
Meanwhile, the tense stand-off between the RNLI and Wally continues over Who Gets To Use The Lifeboat Slipway. Here is a picture of Wally in full delinquent mode.
What a public menace.
Time for the weekly Wally news!
Here is the problem with 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato using the slipway of a lifeboat station as a spa bed: sometimes, canoeists get in trouble near Stackpole and need rescuing and then some underwhelmed Welsh coast guard is going to have to try to chase said predatory sea potato off the slipway so they can launch the boat.
Here is the problem with that scenario: an underwhelmed Welsh coast guard basically views 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato as a sort of ornery gelatinous cow, and so will try to do this with, and I am not making this up, a broom. But a ton of overgrown seal has no fear of brooms, so the attempt is not entirely successful under time-sensitive conditions while canoeists are actively drowning 10 miles away.
Solution? An air horn.
Which did work long enough to get the boat out, and then Wally clambered back aboard barely minutes later and fell asleep again. So trick learned, I guess.
Anyway, since I've apparently become Tumblr's primary Wally journalist, I thought I'd go for a cheeky visit again today so I could report on their condition FIRST HAND (you're all welcome, I have incredible integrity). Today I tried using a binocular over my phone camera with was extremely stressful and moderately successful - and I have two pieces of NEWS.
Story the First
Two dinghies with divers aboard suddenly turned up and sailed right up to them. There are Welsh Marine Life Rescue volunteers everywhere, and one woman immediately yelled "YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. MOVE AWAY."
Everyone on the cliff went silent. The boats went closer.
"YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW," yelled the beachmaster. "MOVE AWAY."
Tumblrs, they did not.
"CAN YOU HEAR ME?" she yelled. "MOVE AWAY."
At which point, the whole fucken cliff starts joining in, because Welsh people are Like That.
"Move away!"
"Leave 'im alone, mun!"
"Move away, butt, what you doing!"
"He's the size of an 'orse, bois, can't you see 'im from here?!"
"Bloody move you fucks, you'll scare 'im away again!"
(That last one was, I swear, an eighty year old woman.)
The boats, suddenly being yelled at by a whole cliff of Welsh people, sailed away. Later, we followed the beachmaster who was now on a mission, and found her with a couple of community police officers ripping the shit out of the divers. It was very satisfying.
Story the Second
I mentioned my binocular and phone trick. It came in handy. At first it gave me some very satisfying shots for a distance picture on a phone camera:
But, you know, whatever.
But THEN I got this picture:
which I got 0.256778 seconds before that majestic Arctic beast of purest beautiful nature untamed FELL OFF THE SIDE OF THE SLIPWAY LIKE A CAT THAT GOT TOO CLOSE TO A TABLE EDGE
Wally was fine, the seagull to the right was traumatised.
This is not an update as such but my friend Chris who I took with me to get the scoop on Wally on Sunday had a real camera with him, and he has produced a WAY better photo than I did, and I want you all to see Just How Louche a Walrus is capable of looking:
Handsome boi
hello this is delightful
FYI : this website definitely DOES NOT have a million free TEXTBOOKS and in general books for you all to download 😌
No reason to reblog this 👀
Love those ads for fake puzzle games where the puzzle is blatantly unsolvable
Like
nah i got this bruv
dont just bring up ancient memories like that with no hesitation
an evil guy killing people is problematic TO YOU. not to me though. it builds character
Liberal idpol is literally just pseudo progressive white supremacy
Radlibs convincing themselves that treating people of different ethnic, national or racial origin than yourself as unfathomable, completely alien Others is actually politically progressive and the correct way to “respect marginalized life experiences” or whatever… It feels like something that absolutely is going to have horrific results in the future if not stopped now, given that it’s explicitly a racialist epistemology and thus absolutely guaranteed to over time degenerate and provide ideological justification for racism.
can you type this in a way that is actually accessible to normal people thanks
Dictionary.com is the world’s leading online source for English definitions, pronunciations, word origins, idioms, Word of the Day, and more
this response fuckin sucks like yall know academic language is a barrier to most people and yall still choose to mock people for lord forbid not wanting to look up words they don’t know like????????????
Nah I think it’s a very appropriate response to a hostile nerd rudely demanding that a relatively simple post be rewritten “for normal people”. If you don’t want to look up words you’re unfamiliar with either ask a question like a normal person or stay out of the conversation. Random strangers online aren’t there to accommodate bad attitudes or to teach you how to interact normally with people. If you’re a dick for no reason you’ll be treated like one.
I do think it’s sorta ironic to be talking about identity politics and how its use makes solidarity between people difficult and then refuse to acknowledge the fact that intellectualism is a barrier for a lot of people to access the theory that’s literally about/aimed at them
Frolicking through dandelions (via)
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds.
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)
Yes this!
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.
@tamberland
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED
Cat likes potatoes. (via)
I’m reading this book and the main character was like describing her nemesis or whatever and she’s like “he’s a white cishet man” in his list of negative attributes and I understand it’s supposed to be a quippy lil thing and all but the irony is that the main character herself is white and cishet, as is her love interest. So what did we gain here? A few woke points? Like I don’t really understand it tbh woke white folk creating distance between them and other white folk simply doesn’t do it for me the irony is a bit strong