This is Illyria, lady

Teacher who accidentally never quit being a secretly nerdy teenager

[becausedragonage]

I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town

yes I am the horrible creeping bag of sound that is the most worst to you! I will use my beak to mischief you and I will press B. I wobble my snake-front-body and I waggle my bag-back-body and they meet in the middle to plan a bad idea to upset you. I flap back and forth my business rear for balancing and I snapple-pap my feet all up and down the town for terrible reasons, and you don’t like it. I am the goose and you are the miserable boy with no honk. I invented my body and it was the best idea.

This is the most brilliant fanfic I have read this year, and I am not exaggerating in the least. 

[kyraneko]

I am awestruck and in love with the descriptions.

Horrible bag of sound.

I hold up all of my wings and I make more layers of me.

I snapple-pap my feet all up and down the town for terrible reasons

You are all the way stood up, all the way confused, all the way overalls and no ideas.

I make a fight between yourself and your memory.

I have all I need in my wicked goose-body, and also I have your radio.

My body is the softest triangle with a hose attached.

Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it.

It’s like BirbRightsActivist and Ceiling Cat and an obscure Song Dynasty poet all got together, indulged in some recreational substances, and decided to write a song but halfway through decided to become God instead.

[dnd-apothecary]

I literally cried from laughing reading this

[spazzbot]

This is perfect and true

[jackscarab]

This is the best fanfiction of the decade.

[chandri]

I have read this at least ten times now and it is genius every time. I really want a t-shirt of angry goose with wings and honk deployed with “I honk directly at God” above it in bold font.

[villainous-queer-deactivated202]

I swear to god I am doing this as a monologue someday. I just read it aloud and it was THE BEST.

[marzipanandminutiae]

other things I love:

- the title is a reference to an obscure horror movie called I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives In The House

- Daniel Lavery also wrote the famed Women Rejecting Marriage Proposals In Western Art History series, and I knew this had to be his work from the first quotes I read

[naamahdarling]

I really want to post an audio recording of this because it is SO GOOD read aloud. The ENERGY.

[ryan-sometimes]

COVID is slowly becoming a “third world” disease. While first world countries are hoarding vaccines, having doses for populations many times their size, third world countries can’t get any because pharma companies want to sell to the first world countries first. Even then, first world countries will receive them first. While rich countries recover from COVID, they will forget about the pandemic while many other countries live the absolute worst moment of the pandemic without being able to vaccinate their population.

[ryan-sometimes]

Watch also when some first world countries finish vaccinating their populations, they will turn to third world countries and “donate” or sell surplus vaccines. People in these countries will go “Oh how sweet! The government is donating vaccines to the poorer countries <3” when it was their hoarding that led to many, many third world citizens dying before they could even get vaccinated in the first place.

[comradesaucegay]

african and latin american countries are also pushed by pfizer to give up sovereign assets as part of their vaccine agreement

[nanalineni]

Yo europeans, sign the fucking petition, get the european commission to lift the patents

No Profit on Pandemic! Sign now!

Everyone deserves protection from COVID-19.

[nanalineni]

This is not a bullshit useless change dot org petition by the way this is an actual thing with legal consequences. If this petition gets to a million signatures, the european commission HAS to examine it.

[queerqueerspawn]

They need not only a million signatures but to pass thresholds in at least seven member states - which only Belgium has done so so far. Especially if you have Italian, Irish, or Cypriot citizenship, please sign. Sign it in general, but try to circulate if you can to anyone with those nationalities specifically.

[leosuncancervenus]

231,195 / 1,000,000 signatures as of 10/28/21

[hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon]

237,730  /  1,000,000  signatures as of 11/28/21 and the Signatory Deadline(it has to be signed by this date) is January 8th, 2022.

PLEASE sign, especially if you’re from one of the countries that has not reached it’s threshold. (France, Sweden, Greece, Germany, The Netherlands, Austria…basically every country except Italy and Belgium)

Minimum thresholds must be met in at least five more countries in addition to the 1,000,000 signatures requirement.

The countries closest to reaching their minimum threshold are Ireland(89% of required signatures), France(75%), The Netherlands (75%), Spain (69%), and Cyprus (46%). If you or anyone you know have citizenship in these countries, please sign it, encourage them to sign it, and pass it forward.

If the requirements are met, the European Commission will be forced to examine this and take legal action. Real change is a possibility if enough signatures are collected.

Spread this.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Remember this viral post? Wanda and Jamal and her husband Lonnie are the most wholesome people, this story brought tears to my eyes originally and I am crying once more learning from Jamal's social media that Lonnie has sadly passed away.

Rest in Peace, Lonnie :(

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[cuntess-carmilla]

Every time I think of "disability culture is interdependence" I want to cry like that's so beautiful. We're so beatiful.

[cuntess-carmilla]

No one is independent, your dependency on others is just normalized and obscured by capitalism.

You're not out there hunting then coooking your food, healing your own wounds or illnesses, building your own house with your bare hands with no help using raw materials you picked up yourself from the earth and weaving your own clothes? Congrats, you're not independent!

[cuntess-carmilla]

Now let's talk about why abled dependence is seen as a "duh" fact of life and as morally neutral (even when it's not!!!) but disabled dependence is seen as pathetic, a burden, something to overcome, or something that makes you an incomplete human being. >:3c

[welcometothewarren]

if anyone needs me i'll be frothing at the mouth thinking about the origin of language and interspecies communication. happy wednesday.

[welcometothewarren]

how did we learn this? who taught us this? is it coincidental? is it observational? is it that something in the source of these sixteen languages stems from the same animal instinct that causes each of these species to call out to their own kind? I Am Going To Lose It.

[gettingintoknives]

Patricia McConnell talks about her research into this in her book “The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs” which also addresses a ton of other interspecies communication things and not just about dogs! Highly recommend reading it

[paperstorm]

Pride history posts on here seem almost exclusively to revolve around Stonewall which can leave the impression that America is the only place where anything important ever happened and obviously is not true so I have compiled a few links where you can learn about LGBTQ history in other countries! Feel free to add

The Brunswick Four and the Toronto raids in Canada 🇨🇦

Queer icons like Virginia Wolf, Oscar Wilde, and Freddie Mercury in Britain 🇬🇧

Cultural revolution in Weimar Germany 🇩🇪

The drag scene in Nigeria 🇳🇬

Gay and lesbian Mardi Gras in Australia 🇦🇺

Frida Kahlo and Mexicos fraught history 🇲🇽

Gay samurai in Japan 🇯🇵

Queer narratives erased by colonialism in Pakistan 🇵🇰

The modern world’s first legal same-sex marriages in the Netherlands 🇳🇱

The honoured Mahu (transgender individuals) in traditional Hawaiian culture 🌺

Hidden queer communities in communist Poland 🇵🇱

Husbands in ancient Egypt 🇪🇬

The Athens pride festival in Greece 🇬🇷

The Homosexual Movement of Liberation in Chile 🇨🇱

Gay rights protests in India 🇮🇳

[autisticjoy]

i’m just gonna leave a whole bunch of links to different stuff to do with swedish queer history and figures

the history of rfsl, the biggest organization for lgbtq+ rights in sweden (you can switch to english on the page)

protesting homosexuality’s classification as an illness by calling in gay to work + occupying socialstyrelsen (national board of health and safety)

the first ever openly lesbian bishop in the world

karin boye, lesbian author and poet

selma lagerlöf, one of the most well known swedish authors ever

and my personal historical bae: king christina (+ a second source in swedish) (i don’t even mind the catholicism i just think she’s neat)

[positivelyadhd]

you’re allowed to be upset and hurt and angry. you’re allowed to know you deserved better. you’re allowed to mourn what you could have had. part of healing is allowing yourself to feel those “negative” emotions and accepting them.

[bleekay]

its so shiddy when u have to convince yourself to do your hobbies. like, its fun, you like it, why cant you just do it. do it. do it. but what if…. mindless media consumption instead….

[bleekay]

im so sorry to the seven thousand of you so far who relate

[dungeonqueering]

So I reopened my dating apps because my tarot deck said to

And then I matched this guy

So I was like "Ok I GOTTA message him"

THE RING WRAITH SAID TRANS RIGHTS

I think I'm in love.

I'll try to keep you updated, but if I stop posting I've run off to Mordor.

[dungeonqueering]

Small update:

He replies pretty slowly, but that's OK, I think I've got him.

[dungeonqueering]

I don't think he knows what to make of me

[villainous-queer-deactivated202]

I’m so invested in this romcom OP plEASE keep us posted.

[dungeonqueering]

It's been really slow

[dungeonqueering]

GUYS IM SWOONING

[dungeonqueering]

[carolxdanvers]

How the fuck do you have this much chemistry with a nazgul

[dungeonqueering]

I'm a BARD

[dungeonqueering]

[uberguber89]

"Because my tarot deck said you" do you think they were just like, "you gotta see this out, it's hilarious"?

[dungeonqueering]

To it's credit, I've also met a guy I really like. That just isn't funny.

[dungeonqueering]

GUYS

I THINK WE'RE GONNA DO THIS THING

Also I told him about you. Also I have cut out some parts of the Convo, but all the fun parts are here.

[dungeonqueering]

GUYS THIS IS HAPPENING

What do I WEAR?!

[dungeonqueering]

I could cry.

I have to announce a tragedy.

Naz Gûl was kicked from Tinder before I got his number. I'm heartbroken. :(

[dungeonqueering]

HE FOUND ME!!!!!!!

[succubusboyfriend]

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

[succubusboyfriend]

ranibow sprimkle……..

[cr0wswithknives]

kepchup.

[cosmicyeehaw]

SPINCH

[oli-nerd]

B A N C H

[scoobertdoobertlove]

chichen nuggest

[yondus-wife]

b R o G L e

[borzboy]

strawbebbies..

[sprayed-cheese]

this post almost moved me to tears

[were-owl-deactivated20241025]

Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle

[justnick612-deactivated20210723]

I’m kepchup lmao

[fysticalmorest]

Brogle and rainbow sprimkle

[atlinmerrick]

This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.

[kristiemewisstan]

some additions from my own collection

[weepingwillo-deactivated2022071]

[dreamilypurpleoutcast]

[believingintheotherkate]

The kids are alright

[lesbianbending-moved]

seeing all the 14-17 y/o queer kids who don’t know what v for vendetta is…. u mean the blockbuster film written by two trans women about a masked vigilante who decides to singlehandedly take down a fascist alternate version of england set in the distant year of 2020… and his driving force was getting justice for a lesbian who he never met but whose diary he found, who was separated from her wife before being killed by said fascist gov…. and it stars natalie portman…. okay

[mckitterick]

the movie is great, with amazing acting:

and the original graphic novel is phenomenal:

I highly recommend them both

and they’ve never been more relevant

[digitaldiscipline]

“People shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

[lectorel]

There’s strong subtext that V is a trans man and A)the lesbian from the diary or B)her wife.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

frankly I prefer the movie over the comic, for three reasons:

1) lewis prothero as a rush limbaugh/glenn beck/bill o’reilly type is both more applicable and way funnier than a 1940s radio propagandist 

2) it has stephen fry as gordon detriech, and makes him explicitly gay and pretending to be attracted to evey as part of being closeted than actually attracted to evey and having sex with her while she hides in his home.

3) the movie came out in 2005; that is, only four years after 9/11, while the Iraq war was still in full swing, and while xenophobia and Islamophobia were not just acceptable, but tacitly encouraged by the administration at the time. which makes the following exchange even more poignant and sweet:

Evey: [seeing a book in a glass display case] What is that? Gordon: It’s a copy of the Qur’an, 14th century. Evey: [shocked] Are you a Muslim? Gordon: No, I’m in television. Evey: But why would you keep it? Gordon: I don’t have to be a Muslim to find the images beautiful or its poetry moving.

just… the easy acceptance of it. the idea that a religion that he doesn’t believe in and that has been explicitly outlawed in-universe is a source of beauty. I’m not Muslim, either, but that particular moment really stuck with me emotionally.

[quasi-normalcy]

Also, the movie at least heavily implies that V is trans, or at least gender dysphoric

[snackwizard]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[wildlyannoyingdoofus]

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

[snackwizard]

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

[808lien]

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

[maramahan]

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

[jkl-fff]

[scottjate]

This is so important

[teachmoments]

Teachers are sponges this year.

[believingintheotherkate]

oh dear god where's the lie

[recapitulation]

an inexhaustive list of specific moments in pieces of classical music that make my soul leave my body

tchaikovsky piano concerto no.1 mvmt III, the build from 4:21 to the climax at 5:06— my favorite out of all of these

scheherazade mvmt III, when the timpani comes in at 8:02, although at 7:24 the chills start and they really don't stop

mahler symphony 2 mvmt I, the section from 15:38-15:55 where it feels like you're literally descending into hell

sibelius violin concerto mvmt I, the super impressive trill that leads into the sweep-you-off-your-feet part at 5:39

borodin sympony 2 mvmt III, the sustained note at 5:25 in the horns

brahms violin concerto mvmt I, 2:56 when the solo violin finally makes its entrance (although the whole build to the entrance is infinitely more satisfying if you listen from the beginning)

the very beginning of bruckner symphony 4 mvmt I is so chilling

dvorak cello concerto mvmt I, the lyrical horn solo at 2:10

the very beginning of saint-saens cello concerto no.1 mvmt 1 where the solo cello just comes BARRELING in

gliere horn concerto mvmt II, 4:13 when the horn finally gets to play the lyrical part that the strings had earlier in the mvmt

tchaikovsky violin concerto mvmt I, 8:03 when the melody from earlier gets embellished to hell and back

liszt mazeppa, the 3:41 pizzicato sounds cool as fuck

mendelssohn violin concerto mvmt II, 3:51 makes my heart fucking stop

strauss death and transfiguration, 13:55 literally always gives me chills

shostakovich cello concerto mvmt II, 9:35 when the solo horn chimes in

the very beginning of stravinsky firebird finale feels like you're entering the faerie realm or some shit

tchaikovsky symphony 5 mvmt II, the building of soft strings into the solo horn entrance at 0:48

dvorak new world symphony mvmt IV, 0:15 when the horns and trombones come in and you want to like. charge into battle

holst jupiter, 2:55 when the strings come in and it's the most angelic thing you've ever heard in your life

[teechcartoon]

[teechcartoon]