Tutant meenage neetle teetles.

This blog is just a mess of things I like, mostly humour.

[sandmandaddy69]

[firebirdeternal]

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

[telepathylove]

in the chillest possible way,

[sandmandaddy69]

[heedra]

if i couldn't have any of the obvious first choice superpowers i would want my power to be the power of i can go anywhere and its not a problem. the way this power would work is that as long as im peaceful and respectful i can go anywhere and nobody will see it as weird or see me as a target for hostility. i can walk into a cool house to politely peep the decor or walk into a tall office building to politely peep the decor or walk around a city at night alone to politely peep the decor or walk into a strange facility to politely peep the decor or walk onto a plane and ride the plane to its destination and then walk around there to politely peep the decor and its fine as long as im chill. no need to make me faster or anything i can just walk at a normal pace. its good for the soul.

[galaxywarp]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[drtanner]

Didn't like it

[spiritualistapologist]

[laguzmage]

[islamprotestan-blog]

only 5 seconds

[zanyflowerpizzatrash]

i wasn't ready for that..lol

[suffer-no-humiliation]

Immediately recognized that look

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[narcissene]

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

[cannibalcaprine]

i feel like we don't appreciate these days how much the twin towers sucked, like, design-wise

they were contemporarily hated for just being these giant grey monoliths

like there probably could've been an easier way to get rid of them, but they probably needed to go either way

[tgirl-subway-the-dark-ages]

crying at this. the curb is brutalist. the sidewalk is brutalist. house made of concrete bricks is brutalist. lmao??

[cue-jay]

[femsband-archive]

[evilnicegirl]

recently my plug has offered free weed for:

bunch of ice

mw2 double xp tokens

[evilnicegirl]

new fetch quest dropped

[evilnicegirl]

[loth-caatgirl]

[delinquentbookworm]

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

[00000066]

[mihai-florescu]

Languages tend to peak at their word for butterfly. Never seen 2 that are the same, either. Papillon. Mariposa. Borboleta. Fluture. Vlinder. Schmetterling. Pillangó. Babochka. Farfalla. Sommerfugl. Perhonen. Farasha. Titali. Chōchō. Nabi. Húdié. Buom buom. Great job guys, i really mean it.