hi its jessie @yesitisijessie - Tumblr Blog

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so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

slowspinningredemption

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

acakewalkofcrocodiles

The Hat Man is our greatest export

vedurnan-archive

the-stew-goblin

I'm feeling like I wish I could give everyone in the world a bowl of hug stew right now.

I don't know if that means I'm feeling good and want to spread joy, or I'm feeling really sad and need hugs

hylianane

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

maseratus

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

mousidy

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

mousidy

woodsdyke

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

spaghettioverdose-deactivated20

It's really funny that redditors convinced themselves that the stupid Tiananmen Square copypasta is going to get chinese people forcefully disconnected from their internet service or something while the UK government will get your ass if you complete the sentence "Soldier F is ___" and has actively worked with google and with social media websites to censor posts or search results about Soldier F

spaghettioverdose-deactivated20

Like 90% of the shit people make up about China is actually true for the UK

crionic-dubs

A man charged with the murders of two men and five attempted murders on Bloody Sunday in 1973 will not stand trial. Who is 'Soldier F' and w

Deputy Peadar Tóibín, leader of Aontú, referred to Soldier F by his real name, David James Cleary, in Dáil Éireann, the Irish parliament, y

kropotkindersurprise

In case the links ever go down, Soldier F is David Cleary, a British paratrooper.

He murdered two Irish people in Derry, occupied Northern Ireland, who were demanding their civil rights on what was later called Bloody Sunday, January 30, 1972. He wounded four more. In total 13 irish demonstrators demanding equal rights were murdered by British paratroopers that day.

steveyockey

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

what-even-is-thiss

The reflecting pool in DC was just redone in “American flag blue” at the request of Mr. Drump and the sealant on the bottom is already peeling off and the pool is now full of algae and surprise surprise the guy that owns the company that got contracted to do it was a major donor to his campaign and appears to know him personally.

starrynet

that’s his little guy!!

littleguysdaily

I wish I had what they have...

what-even-is-thiss

What if guns shot carbonation insyead of bullets

So like what? A puff of co2?

truepolymorphed

Shoots you with my carbo-(i)nator, instantly carbonating all of your bood at once, causing a sudden but brief unimaginably strong sensation of suffocating from the dissolved carbonic acid before causing a simultaneous heart attack and stroke as bubbles form through your entire circulatory system in unison

what-even-is-thiss

What the fuck dude