Yessa

"Welcome to my thoughts!"

[yesyesyessa1]

Her Odd Sentiments

"Sabihin mo, gaano kaligtas' yang pagbabanda mo kung palagi kang ginagabi?" a well-built in his late adulthood guy interrupted the damsel in front of him from expounding her stance.

The damsel froze from his relentless towering inquiries.

“Kakayanin mo ba kung may mangyaring masama sayo?” he said, followed by an abrupt cough. “Puro lalaki ‘yang mga kasama mo. Paano kung may gawin ‘yan sayo?” 

The young lady knew she couldn't be caught in the heat of this argument, so before she could hear another ball of sounds from his throat, she answered.

"P-pero kilala nyo naman sila—Di na sila bago," she frantically stuttered in fright of his narrowing look.

As soon as she took a breath to spit out all the words in her mind, the old man did it first. He kept explaining and throwing questions at her as if it is impossible for her to break in. He didn't forget to include all the bad words smashing all of her—her truest friends, her dreams & passion, and her loyal compliance to him.

On all accounts, from the looks of the damsel who just broke down, she could still fight. She may seem fragile, but her mind is not. His savagery knew no bounds, and there she knew she had to end it once and for all. The more she thought about it, the fiercer her rage grew. 

 "Yes, you're right. But, I want to make the hard choice. It is unfamiliar, followed by uncertainties, and going to be unpredictable. My chances will be unknown, and that's what will make it uncomfortable because things aren't always pretty or pleasant. With that, yes, everything you said was right, but then, in essence, and in life, those just feel right— it just feels right to secure a future. However, once future shouldn't be like that. The best way to predict a future is to create it. It will be greatly driven with support and trust amidst the fear not from the known but from the unknown. Challenges will be there along the way, and all we have to do is to face it.. together," her mouth refused to translate these thoughts reeling in her mind.

“Kaya nga tiwala at suporta, ‘Pa, diba?” she exclaimed.

The maiden lost it now.

“Sumasagot ka pa? Bastos ka!”

Right through her eyes, the heaviness of what just transpired can say it all. Stopping herself from crying is equally difficult as leaving the world wrapped with nightmares in turmoil. Being lost in her futile attempt to explain, she felt the helplessness. But then she stood on her ground, pulled herself together, blinked to adjust her eyesight blurred by the overflowing waters in her eyes, and uttered,

“Mas lalo lang akong ginaganahan kakahindi ninyo.”

And she began to embody what a true artist is-- disturbing the comfortable.

[yesyesyessa1]

DAGAT

Naranasan mo na bang sumisid sa dagat?  Kung hindi, mag- isip kang muli. Pagkat ako, kahit hindi marunong sumisid, Hindi alam kung saan sisisid,  Natuto akong lumangoy nang matangay ako sa agos ng kanyang mga tingin. Anurin ng kanyang mga ngiti at Talamsikan ng mga hawak niyang may init Tamang tama sa nanlalamig kong bisig.  Alam kong may kalaliman Hindi maabot ng aking mga paa Pero sa pagsara ng mga talukap, Nawala ang aking takot-- Nawala ang kaba. Pinigilan ko ang paghinga maabot lang ang kaibuturan-- makilala ka At nagpalunod sa mapanghalinang mga salita Kasabay ng pagkumpas ng hangin, Hinihila ako saan mo man tunguhin.  Masaya magpadala sa daloy ng tubig Pero kailangang umahon at ito'y lisanin. Sa pag- ahon, minuto pa lang ang lumipas, Hinahanap- hanap na ng sarili ang tubig na minsang nagbaling ng kaniyang oras. Kaya, salamat sa lalim ng 'yong dagat Natutuhan kong umahon sa pagkahumaling. Hindi nagsisisi. Sana'y maulit muli.

[yesyesyessa1]

NO THING’S NOTHING

“Stand up,” my Creative Writing professor in my 12th grade, commanded me to do as he settled in a chair across the class’s table and so I stiffly did.

“Introduce yourself,” he added.

“I am Jessa Mae Abug. You can..” he interrupted.

“Introduce yourself—your name,” he promptly responded.

“Uhm... I, I am Jessa. Jessa as in.. hmm...,” I stuttered in fright of giving him no answers. I tried to formulate interesting concepts in my mind but as my eyes met his laser-like eyes whom who cannot wait to absorb what are in my mind through my eyes, I apologized in front of the class because I really don’t have any idea behind of what my name does means.

Obviously, after class I asked about my mom about the origin of my name so I can make up with that “Introduce yourself”. As I gave her the question, she told me to ask answers to my aunt so, I went to her and ask about how she came up with this name- Jessa Mae.

Twenty years ago, my mother got pregnant. At those times, my father was not around because of his hectic schedule as a soldier. He was a very busy man so her sibling, which is my aunt, was the one there for her. When she knew that my mom was actually giving birth to a girl, she thought of names, which has the same first letters of my parent’s names. My father is Jaime Abug and my mother is Maridel Abug. From those letters “J” and “M”, according to my aunt, “Jessa” and “Mae” denotes the first letters of my dad and mom’s names.

To make the long story short, my name means nothing. Perhaps the name Jessa means “God Beholds” which is an American word and “Mae”, a French word, denotes the month of May, which is totally different to the month of my birth, August, based on my research. It is just that they wanted to achieve the fact that their names are somehow related to mine.

Usually, we felt upset upon searching something, we surmised valuable but turned out means nothing in which we lack to give what the people ask us to offer them. Nevertheless, at that moment, I realized that there is no such thing that is meant for nothing. Every single thing is made for a purpose and that is our task and a challenge to surmount. Thus, I am Jessa Mae Abug changes that “nothing” to “something”!

[yesyesyessa1]

UNSPOKEN SENTIMENT

I speak but didn't express. I expressed not literally but figuratively. Figuratively was not effective. Effective is the most significant. I missed what's significant.

[yesyesyessa1]

MERELY PHRASES

“What is your first impression about me and how did it change as days whizzed by?” the instructor asked amid his discussion.

“Sir, for me, you have given us the demeanor of a strict and an unapproachable one. I knew it at the moment you entered the room in our first day but suddenly changed when you cracked a joke,” a gangly girl wearing a resplendent get-up stood up and answered.

“So what can you infer or what have you learned from that?”

The maiden recoiled and a pool of other hands rose.

“Do not judge!” a fellow girl yelped from her chair.

“Yes, correct!”

“We are nobody to judge others unless we know their story well,”

another damsel zealously responded.

“Right!”

“We do not have the right to throw such negative thoughts towards a person. We firstly need to understand the person. We have to extend our minds in doing so. Instead of saying false words or statements towards a person, get to know the person and try to put the self in his/her situation to know why does he/she wear like that? Why act like that? Why talk like that? And not like this or like that which is fitted on the tradition or culture we were born into. Thus, before we judge, try to weigh the words first or even taste it before spitting them out.”

All those left a mark in my head. While forming this visible words on a blank sheet of paper those words began to reel on my mind. Today, the room is filled with separated groups. The cacophonous laughs and conversations reverberated at the four corners. Until all of a sudden, I saw a girl with a horrible tailed hair, pale face and wearing old-fashioned clothes clumsily rocketed through the door all the way to her sit and I overheard.

The girl across me positioned her mouth right beside the ear of her seatmate, “Oh! Here comes the cry baby,” she said, flashing a sly grin afterward.

“No girl! The grade conscious one rather,” then the message was slowly passed to the others and started to look straight to each other’s eyes. Without uttering such new words, all together they breathe out- gave loud laughs.

And then again, all the words came to my mind but now they are turning into question marks.

[yesyesyessa1]

A GENUINE REVERIE

Holidays are on! I guarantee that this must be an awaited season, which everybody has been longing for. I bet for spending or reuniting with their loved ones specifically, relatives. Well, that was the first thing that popped up to my mind but if I were to answer that for the second time, my response would be different.

So, here is my story:

Sparks. Flashbacks flicker through my memory.

I am standing at the middle of the scene, marveled by where am I now. I took a gaze onto the scenery, turning my head to the left. It is vague. And so, my eyes squint and gradually, it is now making sense to me. My eyes got wide open—everything is now clear.

Above the wobbly table’s table cloth, there are several of delicious foodstuffs laid out; A machine flashing a series of motion pictures transmitting sounds with rhythm, melody and harmony underneath the lights of various colors; Right beside it, there are two men having a tight grip with their microphones, singing at the top of their lungs; While the others, as of the two men’s ages, are careful on guarding their foot’s steps but it seems so natural seeing them groove with the music happily.

Then, suddenly, something has caught my attention. My eyes followed a throng of children, with their clothes’ stained and soaked with their sweats, breaking into sprint. They made my head turn around seeing how mirthful they are with each other’s presence.

“What a scene full of happiness?!” I mutter, letting waters run down my cheeks.

It did not last—it vanishes. A dark and quiet night replaced it and I saw a child slouched on the chair, sleeping with blindfold alone. Her face is pale. She must be exhausted and naiveté marks all over her face. I examined her in that chair. Her hands were frozen, even her body is not moving. Her lips quivers and her head skids as if she is looking blindly onto nowhere.

She is scared. There must be something bothering her.

Until, she held her chin up and let out waters run behind her blindfold through her burning cheeks.

Help her! She needs your help! I yelped to the same faces I saw at the happy thought yet, it seems that none of them could hear me but me.

Now, I was about to scream after I realized that at her left’s, I saw an arm stretched from her back, tucking a hand to her sleeve until, it maneuvered to the girl’s chest—it stirs her out. I do not know how long she has been there. Looking at her from the corner, I broke into sprint. When I darted into the girl’s place, I tapped her shoulders and squeeze them.

“Hey! Speak out! Help yourself!’’ I kneeled at her. Unfortunately, it seems that I am invisible. She does not hear me. Her fear eats her whole system while the tall, dark-haired man with a familiar face continues upon taking advantages—harassing her.

More minutes dragged by. I burst into tears as I saw the girl no longer in blindfold stood up. She turned her head back toward that man who quickly returned his arms to his. I saw sullenness turn to exasperation as she clutches firmly her fists and began averring such cursing words. She must be driven by her emotions, I said to myself, dreading watching her making her stance for herself. She explained herself and asked for their help but their ears were not listening. Instead, she received doubts upon her statements and criticisms about it. This was the notable one: “Palibhasa maldita,” their response upon hearing that the girl has a plan handing the case to the authority.

My vision blurs again; I exasperatedly wipe the fresh tears away. This must be a nightmare. Gloomy scenes went on revisiting, dancing under my eyelids. Finally, the scenes that were showing up ceased. It ended at the girl seeking help from her relatives who got nothing but disdain, considering their brother’s act and left her out alone, crying into the pitch-black.

Nobody listened. None of them gave a help. No one supported her.

I open my mouth to react but no words came out—stupefied by who the girl was. I do not know what to say. All I can do is to see. And now it is all making sense to me— that holiday I will never forget.

And that girl was me—the 17-year old me.

[yesyesyessa1]

SHORTCUT

I was running late that Thursday morning amid a throng bustling in the downtown. Like how the busy city was structured, my knackered head went to an active state when I got to know that the day left me with no choice and so I hurried and came along with the mob. Standing still in the pavement, my tired eyes peeked the setting. Everybody were taking a look on the ticks of the clock’s hand at their wrists ignoring the water brought by the sullen clouds drenching their clothes and shoes; A pool of hands partly raised onto the vehicles that pass by and; the sodden shoes spurting forth the stream at the sidewalk following the vehicles that have slowed down.

Looking through those, a moment of silence transpired in my head. “You have to go with the other way!” my mind spoke and bethought.

It was my first time to go onto that path—A faster way to home.

As the tiring night has ended, still there was a remaining long way to go before I get to home. Fortunately, somebody came along with me and introduced his “shortcut”. I let him lead my way home and while passing through the fields, houses and establishments, I did not noticed that my tiring night gradually turns out into a blissful and unforgettable one.

We sat right next to each other’s, filled the empty mechanized  shabby equipment carrying us with laughter and conversations, counting off mean jokes from which I got lost, virile pinches near my elbow and my left cheek from behind, which threw away my fear of going home late at night and let me feel that I am no alone. Lastly, the indelible memory was his fixed eyeballs in a steady intent look onto my face that I often chose to evade who witness the traces of grin and presumably, the redness on both of my cheeks.

That night seemed like a spell of an enchanter happened. The faded sunlight that surrounded us did not meant the fading of heat within us— hues of red, orange, and pink were painted onto a black canvass and going through the faster way has promised the hours and minutes to pass by slowly, which tied a unique connection in us.

“Ano ba, sasakay ka ba?” a maiden at the windshield yelled.

“Ay! Opo.” I recoiled.

And I rode the vehicle heading the way of your shortcut you have left me.

“Till we meet again.”

[yesyesyessa1]

DESTINY IS A NOUN

It was around four in the afternoon where sullen clouds are up above and a cold breeze touches the bare skin- a perfect time to stay outside and enjoy the weather.

While enjoying the food served to me, I overheard a young adult’s couples or looking like couple, I guessed, right next to me. I think three rulers away.

“Hey,” the woman uttered before she take a sip of her drink.

“What?”

“You know that there’s no ‘You and me’, don’t you?” and she added, “We’re not like together- Just mates.

Then I examined his face and saw sulleness when he mumbled, “Yeah, of course.”

And his tone is getting vivid and followed it with “Just mates.. Mates are good.. As of now,” and that made me think that he feels the exact opposite.

A moment of silence.

After some minutes they have put on consuming their foods and drinks, kind of trying to make themselves busy, the lady just broke it up.

“Man, I don’t want to tie you to me when you go to states.”

“You don’t trust me?” the bloke retorted.

“Did I fail from those three years of proving to you that I am not like any of them, huh? We have been such a good friends- since childhood. What is the problem? Is there anyone?” he added and looked through her eyes, convincing her to thwart avoiding him.

She did not utter any single word but I guess the tears ran down on her cheeks are.

“I love you!” he said with conviction.

His voice grew louder, repeated those three words over and over again, and started to weep.

“If we are really meant to be, we will be- someday,” she faltered, “Destiny will do the thing.”

“I love you and letting you go.”

And the man got his arms round her, kind of wrapped her up from the side and squeezed. His woeful face pressed onto the woman’s neck but her arms are at still- she did not hold him back.

I sat still and made myself mind my business to avoid myself of catching a glance at how rueful the situation is for the two. While taking a mouthful, the word “Destiny” kept on reeling inside my head until I realized that there is nothing like destiny in real life -destiny is just a word. It is on people’s hands to make their destiny. All they need to do is to allow it. Allow it to happen, forget about the fear and put trust instead and perhaps little by little, good things will follow to come. Certainly, bad stuffs will too and I advice to make it just pass through the both of you. Destiny only suit in movies- you are the one making it.

And the lady left the bloke alone on their seat and run away.

[yesyesyessa1]

The World Within Me

Darkness dominated the sky. Murky enough to see the millions of scintillating stars they used to prod with their index’s at dusk. The sky got darker, as well as the breeze got colder until it gave its storm. Lightning crazy zigzags had shown and she was there. Alone, broken, lost and defeated standing still amid the pavement but still she waited. It began with minutes and hours then, days to weeks until months to years. Unfortunately, she often sees herself alone drenched by the rainstorm. She knew it. She utterly knew she will never spot the bright smile or even feel the warmth she used to radiate that paints a ray of sunshine all over her face. She knew she will never come again for her best friend’s dead and can’t bring her life back to the world again and so she laughed. Her laughs gradually grow reverberated through the corners of her world until it changed. She outcries. She cried so hard till her knees got increasingly weaker. She kneeled on the floor and screamed. She gave all her energy and squealed all the things her mind failed to decode and so her heart was filled with resentment. She got nothing but solely silence. She knew that the wind would just rehash its answer and so her head got dropped. Eyelids got heavy until her eyes sealed shut - she was utterly knackered.

All of a sudden, there was an inexplicable feeling she felt - the feeling she wont ever forget. Little by little, heat wrapped her cold palm and filled the gaps. It held her up and without showing any doubt, she felt warm arms round her and squeezed.

“Anak, mahal ka namin,” and I saw her smiled again as she saw the sunshine anew - through her parents’ eyes.

[yesyesyessa1]

UNSPOKEN WORDS

I was busy watching a documentary accessed by the internet using my phone. I placed my phone behind a screen that made the view larger, kept on a distance and speakers on.

“Siguro po masama talaga siya kaya siya tumatakas sa mga pulis,” a strange voice came in.

She looked so ordinary, standing there: a scrawny girl with a horrible brunette hair, wearing a crewneck sweater, very loose shorts and a pair of dirty slippers. I bet kind of 10 to 15 years of age. She was there, has been watching with me too.

“Yung nanay at tatay niya na ininterbyu, sinasabing mabait siya.. Inosente.. hindi talaga totoo,” she added.

“What do you think? It is all simple? Tell the truth and it will be alright? They see a black kid with some money- they see a dealer. There is a man, ambling on the road with his cigarette- they see a junkie. A young woman holding a banner while having a long trek with a throng- they see a rebel. They see a couple of teen blokes, naked from waist to up, just chilling- they see them as couple of muggers. They need to capture someone for a crime and they capture the usual suspects. It does not matter who it will be. Anyone who fits the picture, they could be. That is why most of the suspect would rather choose to run and hide as a fugitive than show himself or herself telling he or she is innocent if he or she will just end up moving in a stinking and overpopulated jail. The truth is bought and lies declared as the truth. Truth and lies? –these are all mixed up!” I reckoned.

And I leaned forward from sitting on the sofa and prodded the screen’s phone for a temporary stop. I faced her. I had nothing prepared. I cannot find the right words. I took a couple of deep breaths and one thing to tell her- a barefaced lie.

“Siguro nga,” I grinned.

“Naaaaak!” a long deep sound that grew louder and louder, “Halika na, aalis na tayo,” he bellowed at her to come with him.

“Sorry, iday ah!” apologized by the bloke at me uttered in Waray.

From the window, I looked back and stammered, “O-okay lang po ‘yun,”.

And the father and his daughter walked past our gate, seeing my papa waving a hand at them.

“Ingat!” papa said.

[yesyesyessa1]

Picking Mangoes

I was sitting on a bench across variety of trees with a cup of hot chocolate milk when I saw five men of different ages. I guess there were two kids, ages of 7 to 12; the other two were teens and the last one was new to adulthood. Walking and looking through the trees, with their empty buckets and long slender pieces of wood, they were getting nearer and nearer to a Mango tree. Comparing the Mango tree among the other trees, I can say that it was one of the tallest.

When they got there, one of them quickly picked up mangoes left to rot on the ground and started filling his bucket. The second one followed him and the remaining men were yelling toward each other. The two served as the climbers, clutching their sticks and the last one seems like coaching the two.

“You, idiots, I think you’ve got good mangoes,” the man on the ground yelled.

“But I think the few at the top will give us the best.” He added.

“Naah.. I’m tired especially my neck,” one of the climber retorted.

The other climber let his stick fall onto the ground. He hugged the trunk using his left and fully extended his right arm, forming an L-figure with his hand, seems like his measuring something.

“Risk assessment: A broken leg, twisted or sprained ankle, broken back, with the added chance of getting bruises, cuts, and grazes,” he said.

“The risk is too high! I cannot!” he shouted and just get back onto the ground.

I sat and quietly contemplated the scene when they began walking past the tree.

“Women are like mangoes on that tree. Men prefer to get themselves ‘easy-to-get’ women than reaching the best ones due to risks. They would rather get the rotten mangoes on the ground or the mangoes hanging on the tree but easy than reckon of ways to make it on the top and get an amazing one.”

So the question here is, “Who will make a true mark of valor?”

Let us wait and see.

[yesyesyessa1]

Ayaw ko ng cliche!

Sawang sawa na 'ko.. Open minded naman ako pero sadyang nakabibingi na ang mga paulit ulit na litanyang naririnig ko. Yung iba galing sa mga 'di kilalang tao. Mayroon ring mga kakilala. Nakasama ko na sa mga nakaraang taon at yung palagi kong naririnig ay mula sa mga kasama kong tinatapos ang "10buwan" (syempre kami magkakasama e).

Ito ang ilan sa mga naririnig ko:

Una, kapag break time.. Hindi lang isa o dalawa o tatlo ang nasasagap ng radar ko. Mayroon sa gawing kanan, kaliwa, likod at harapan ko. Mayroon rin namang nasa bandang kaliwa sa likod, sa kanang harapan at sa kung saan mang direksyon mo maibigan (wala naman kasing pila).

"Ano ba 'to?! Usad-pagong!" pagalit na sabi.

*buntong hininga*

Pwede bang imbes na "usad-pagong" ang sabihin mo "usad-siste" nalang? Maaring sa Pilipinas o sa kung saang lugar mo man naisin pero ang tanong ko sayo, "lalayo ka pa ba, kapwa ko kamag-aral?"

Ikalawa, ganito ang eksena.

"Ano ba 'to! Naipasa ko na yung papel ko kahapon ah!" may angas nang igiit. "Ako din! Binaggit pa nga ang pangalan ko",dagdag ng isa. "We even had a talk,guys!" maarteng tugon pa ng katabi nila. "Ano 'to? Nawala nalang ng parang bula?"

*buntong hininga*

Narinig ko 'yan habang nilulunok ang nginuya kong kanin kasama na ang itlog na mula umaga pa nung niluto. Pabaon sakin ni mama.

Girls, h'wag ng "nawalang parang bula" bagkus datapwat subalit "Nawalang parang letter na pinadala n'yo sa admin!" Yung tipong ang ganda ganda pa ng usapan niyo nung araw na 'yun. Sumang-ayon. Nagkasundo. Nagbigay ng positibong payo at kung anu ano pang anek anek tapos ngayon, wala na. Ayun saktong-tumpak ganern pa sa sinapit ng pinasa n'yo kahapon!

Ay! Pero ewan ko lang ha.. lito parin ako. 'Di ako sigurado kung binalewala o naglaho.. ay! Basta wala! Tapos!

Ikatlo.. Ikatlooo.. *nag-isip*

Ay! Hahaha! Papasok pa pala ko sa lunes! Babye! See yah!

[yesyesyessa1]

Summer 2k18

 January, February, March, summer! –Everybody must love summer, especially students like me, but except me, I guess so. In my family’s tradition, summer means outing and outing means swimming, and I am a total non-swimmer!

Well, to share my experience, what I do when we are on an outing is spending the whole day at the cottage. There, I eat- Eat a lot. I also take some photos of the beautiful sceneries, theirs and so mine. Sometimes, I go near the shore. Either I take a walk or just sit on a rock with some music on and lastly, the one that I absolutely hate is I become everybody’s yaya so I usually sleep or pretend sleeping.

But this summer, instead of doing what I am supposed to do, I decided to do something different. I stepped out of the cottage and went to the water for about 4 feet, I think. From the best of my knowledge, I came up with my own steps. “Breathe in, hold and jump,” my mind kept on reminding me to float facing the sun. Doing the three steps, instead of seeing me to float, water just went through my nostrils and eventually, I sank. But that did not divert me from achieving my goal so, I continued. I repeated the steps all over again. Unfortunately, I only ended up sinking. There, I realized that there must be wrong inside me. I got tired.. I cried and gave up because I cannot figure it out so I just headed off to the cottage and forget about trying.

It is like us facing our problems. We fix it alone; deal with it on our own maybe due to some reasons like proving something, showing a sign of independency or maturity- to name a few. Yes, these are not bad but you know, “Two is better than one”. Allow someone to help you, guide you, teach you.. You do not need to shoulder everything. Let someone to carry some things for you.

And somebody came who gave me a hand and that was the moment I did my very first “not so long” float under the blue and clear sky. I felt relief.

[yesyesyessa1]

The Last Hours to Remember

That was the "last hours" of the day. Everybody has their free will on doing such businesses: talking with their seatmates, putting makeup on their faces, sleeping on the floor and others were surfing and playing with their phones. After the two hours remaining in the time, we now have the right to leave the room. All of a sudden, a news came. The mere mention of her name made the unruly class get back to their seats until the doorknob rotated counterclockwise, a sign that a person is coming in – it made the whole class remain silent.

From that door, a highly authoritative figure comes in towering over me and to everyone else’s of course. Shocked at every march she made with her boots. It seems like our class will be handling by a terror and unapproachable person – my mind began on processing ways to survive this class. The moment she release questions, her voice boomed. It puts an enormous amount of nervousness and pressure inside the four corners of the room. I was ready to curl in a ball and just disappear by that time but the minute I did so, I felt a big and refreshing breath of oxygen flowing through my contracted lungs when she began cracking jokes with us. From that very moment, I realized that in the rest of the year, I would always be looking forward for that “last hours”.

Usually, if a person is asked to define a good teacher the answer would probably be someone who makes his/her students grow academically. I believe that it’s a good idea but a little off. Real teachers, for me, not only make you excel but make you want to study. They enlighten the minds and transform their students’ lives to betterment through education. In addition, they care about student’s insecurities and problems and the most vital is, they are there to support you. My teacher is absolutely like that. She changed the way I see the world. She is truly different to those typical teachers and honestly does not fit in that category.

“How I miss her...”

[yesyesyessa1]

"Its true meaning depends on the delivery of the message, remember that."

[yesyesyessa1]

"It hurts without moving, poison without touching,It bears the truth and lie- WORDS."

[yesyesyessa1]

My December 31st

My 2017 had been through a lot and even my 2016 too. It went my life goes up and down then, up and down and up and down.. –It made me crazy.

Despite hundreds of challenges that the world brought to my life, I’m proud to say that I’ve managed it all well but I just cannot forget that December 31st.

Here’s the story.

“What a very welcoming new year,huh?” I shrugged and coughed eating my ube roll cake while holding my phone for hours. “WHAT A NEW STORY TELLER?!”

Actually, I’m supposed to be wild. Just like the ecstatic people outside cherishing the night: Everybody has their own noisemaker- hitting the casserole, maximizing the radio’s volume, blowing the torotots and shouting while watching the beautiful firework displays at the sky yet, here I am sitting on my stiff chair and gulping air – It’s freaking me out.

Around 7 in the evening, I heard a new storyteller untold his story. His story began until it grows and soon, he confessed.

“May gusto ko sayo”

“Seryoso ako.”

But, it’s not strong enough to divert my attention. I got curious. Remembering the details of his short story, I get my phone, compose a message and send it to a friend.

“Men, ano ‘to? Totoo ba ‘to?” “Struggle nya yan.” “Ha?” “Nagsisinungaling rin siya sa akin and wala naman siyang nasabing pamanmanan ka sakin.”

It echoed through the walls of my ears. I closed my eyes. Started critical thinking, connecting ideas, getting the main idea, the supporting details until viola! “ Got the idea!” - I made my conclusion.

I went back to him. Showed the evidence and ask him.

“What an amazing new year! Really,world? You really find ways to disappoint me,huh?” my feet stamped in anger as I knew that the whole story he made is designed to deceive me – he lied.

Logically, we know this, we understand this and we accept that in our lives, the world really find its way to disappoint us through giving us challenges but I’d rather say “thank you” not to the person but because it happened and I knew that “If I am crazy, the world is crazier than me and more of it,” and that’s the reason why.