the thing is that sometimes it really does feel like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull. it does feel like that you know. no other way to describe that feeling i think
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@yhiaban
the thing is that sometimes it really does feel like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull. it does feel like that you know. no other way to describe that feeling i think
happy pride month dykes i love you dykes
I saw a lesbian ballet for the first time yesterday and I can't believe I have to see straight ballet for the rest of them ???
hey does anyone have that poem. about the author seeing two boys cuddling on a hotel lobby couch, where he refers to it as something like an island of safe anonymity or smth. its been 5000 years my college boyfriend had it written out and pinned to his wall
THANK YOU @witchoflight it is indeed "on traveling together" by Kayleb Rae Candrilli
This is more inspirational than I think it was originally intended to be
im not really worried about aging because im only going to become hotter and more insane the older i get
get in babe we're 30 year old women we're having formative experiences that our teenage years denied us
Your Gervais & Acaster deep dives were SO fun. "Their first job is to make us comfortable" absolutely has its teeth in me (I've been thinking about the ways Greg Davies does this as a show host). I don't suppose you've got more thoughts or examples about making people comfortable in this context?
Oh, wow, yes! I spend SO MUCH TIME obsessing about this.
So, Gervais and Acaster aren't actually the best examples of the need for a comedian to make the audience feel comfortable. They're both famous enough that most of their audience will already know and trust them, and their shows will happen in really good comedy spaces - theatres, arenas.
But new comedians REALLY need to learn about this.
Question: what is laughter? Answer: laughter is the sound we make when we feel SAFE, to let others know that we are SAFE.
Rats laugh! When do they laugh? They laugh when they feel safe AND when other rats are around.
This is why you might not laugh out loud when you watch sitcoms alone. It's much easier to laugh in company, because laughter is a social sound.
When I step on stage at a comedy night, I'm asking myself - what are the obstacles to the audience's feeling of safety? I will try and address these things to help them feel safer.
For instance, maybe the lighting is strange. Maybe there's a weird noise coming from outside. Maybe the seating arrangement is unusual. I would mention these things, make a lil joke about them, to break the tension.
Once I've addressed the vibe, if I'm the first act they've seen, I'll let the audience know what's going to happen. "We have one act in the first section, two in the middle section, and then we'll have your headliner." This helps the crowd manage their expectations.
(This is why we enjoy the progress bar at the bottom of a YouTube video - we know exactly where we are in the video, which helps us feel comfortable.)
When I do jokes that introduce tension, I'll have strategies to avoid discomfort. When I mention my bisexuality, I'll keep my tone bright and friendly, and I'll also make it clear that my jokes aren't ONLY for queer people. I ask who's straight in the audience, make a joke, so we all feel like we're having a good time together.
If I talk to the audience, I'll ask people to put their hands up. "Put your hands up if you love your job" - and only talk to those who've raised their hands. If someone seems anxious, I'll move on quickly. Sometimes I pick a safe word that audience members can say to end an interaction.
One of my favourite gigs is London's Quantum Leopard. The promoter thinks a LOT about the audience's safety. It's an explicitly progressive, left-wing gig - so comedians are banned from doing bigoted jokes.
When the audience comes in, they're asked if they consent to crowd work. If so, they get to wear a green sticker. Comedians are only allowed to talk to people with a green sticker. So everyone else knows they'll be left alone, and relax - which means they all feel comfy, and laugh louder than any other audience in the country.
There's one anxiety I've not mentioned - "what if this act is terrible?" So most comedians will try and get to a punchline as quickly as possible at the beginning. The joke needs to be a crowd-pleaser - it needs to work for everyone, no matter their sense of humour. It also helps if the joke demonstrates that you're a nice person.
This is why a lot of comedians open with a self-deprecating joke. If you show an audience you can make fun of yourself, they relax.
If you're an aspiring comedian, a good exercise is to watch a gig from the back of the room, and ask yourself if anything feels awkward. That way, you can try to counteract the problem when you're on stage. "It feels weird that the comedian sometimes steps out of the light, and I can't see their face" - okay, so when you perform, make sure you stay in the light.
Thanks so much for your question! I absolutely love being asked about standup. My inbox is open!
excellent ted talk abt this!
Study of a snowy landscape at dusk.
Being a lesbian will make u feel like the entire world is experiencing mass psychosis
Paul Evans (British, b. 1954, Sussex, England, based Lavenham, Suffolk, England) - Winter Colours near Goudhurst, 2025, Paintings: Ink, Acrylic
Eleonora Abbagnato, Former Étoile at the Paris Opera Ballet, retired in 2021.
Being born a lesbian was actually one of the best things to ever happen to me
Four of Swords. Art by Jesse Lonergan, from The Unveiled Tarot.
what if orpheus was butch and she unclipped her carabiner and held it out behind her and then eurydice clipped it onto her belt loop and then orpheus didnt have to look back because she could hear eurydice jingle jangling behind her. follow me for more dyke solutions to famous tragic literature