[archxangels]

vintage stamps

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."

[caden]

When u hear your friend john talking shit about someone but you’re in church so you tell him to tone it down:

[caden]

[ri5k]

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

[king-monky]

thanks keyboard, when I accidentally typed hest instead of best I totally wanted the hest (norwegian word for horse) emoji

[lilium-orientalis-deactivated20]

It can happen to the

of us

[bells-lettres]

local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele 🤣🤣

Translation by me. :))

[elodieunderglass]

“Even a slightly increased possibility of summoning rain is still an ability to summon rain” is such a good point

[wizardarchetypes]

the juvenile barred owl that lives right outside my window flew down onto the ground while i was putting out hay for the horses!! i think she misjudged her landing and ended up closer to me than she meant to, she was like only a metre away.

i froze bc i didn't want to startle her to fly into the neighbor's electric fence or anything and then her parent decided to just feed her right there!!!! swooped down and gave her a little dead rodent right there in front of me!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Here’s the thing. Refusing to accept a compliment can be mildly insulting to the person you’re refusing the compliment from.

It’s like you don’t believe them or don’t respect their opinion basically.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I know, I also have self esteem so low that accepting a compliment feels physically painful but basically calling the person who’s complimenting you a liar doesn’t help anybody including yourself.

[wizardarchetypes]

idk who needs to hear this but if youre riding a bike in the summer sun with a skirt on no underwear, be sure your to tuck your skirt under your butt THOROUGHLY before you get on lest you make direct & scalding pussy contact with the hot bike seat. just a random psa based on nothing…. be safe xoxo

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[ecosmowarrior]

still so funny to me that gross has another meaning besides icky and is used seriously all the time. your gross annual income. your disgusting nasty amount of money you earn the whole year. pathetic

[dwinkus]

peasant visionary: & then it stood before me, a towering wheel of flame that beheld me with 10,000 shimmering eyes!

me: idk man it still sounds like an ocular migraine

peasant visionary: #MyGrain

[polishkurapika]

[beemovieerotica]

[tainbocuailnge]

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

[tainbocuailnge]

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

[roscolux]

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

[magnetictapedatastorage]

a lot of women think they’re crazy but really they just forgot the word for anger

[southernsolarpunk-deactivated20]

Original

[chicorystreetcoffee]