val

even when the stars vanish

[yooils]

#NAGI: it's not fun unless i win..

VAL! 6teen . nagi's n1 fan . rin itoshi enemies2lovers era !

carrd (info + dni/byf!) – m.list.

recent works . everything i know about love

popular works . ruin my plans

tags! #log– works | full-length fics . #log– drabbles | mid-length/brainrot . #log–idle | random things . #log–asks | asks from my inbox .

all works belong to @/yooils . header –> toilet bounded hanako-kun.

[yooils]

the warmth of love. sae itoshi x reader. fluff. (my comeback era!?)

"i have no idea why your apartment always runs so cold, sae."

he scoffs at your words, raising an eyebrow at the way you're quivering so much. it's almost as if you haven't been anywhere cold before. how cute–

he shakes the rest of his thoughts away, banishing them from every nook and cranny of his mind. he doesn't like the way you make him feel. he's riding high on the wave of you, he thinks, because now he can't even do anything properly without you occupying his mind like a parasite.

(hypothetically, though. you would be the only parasite he would let consume his soul inside out, metaphorically and emotionally.)

sae frowns. "it's really not that bad. you're exagerrating so much, y'know. what is this, an elaborate ploy for me to give you my hoodie, or something?"

(he would've done it in a heartbeat if you asked. both of you knew it–) somehow, you still muster enough decency to roll your eyes and treat his words as a joke.

"actually, i wanted you to turn up the thermostat. but i highly doubt you'll be able to survive the heat, mr lukewarm."

his only response was to place his ice-cold fingers around your neck, making you squirm from the massive gap between his hands and your natural body temperature. he supposes you are a lot warmer than he is– emotionally and biologically.

he raises an eyebrow at your overly-dramatic reaction of thrashing around, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. "say that again, i dare you."

"okay, mr lukewarm."

sae hates that nickname– yet somehow, everything coming from you seems a lot better. softer, as if thawing his cold heart.

he makes a show of walking over to the thermostat of his home. your protests (pleas, really–) appear to fall upon deaf ears.

neither of you comment on the way he wordlessly sticks closer to you on the couch, nor the way your body stops shivering.

[yooils]

val, val! hi, i missed you <33

hii noo!! i really haven't been online for so long.. with end of term exams and stuff and travelling, but hopefully i'll be more active soon <33 i missed you too! (i definitely have to read your recent works for free therapy as well heuheu)

[yooils]

california and me by laufey but with my fav fav nagi seishiro where you're his home. and everything he could wish for. but instead he leaves you for football (and reo???) and you know you can't win against something he truly has passion towards– which was never you– and he loses the only place where he's ever belonged for a life he could truly enjoy.

[yooils]

☆彡– m.list

–hearts indicate author’s favourites!

multiple!

everything i know about love (ft. the sae brothers seperately). ANGST (bittersweet)

nagi seishiro

christmas eve ♡︎ . it’s cute how seishiro tries to escape your silent wrath by using affection to his advantage. FLUFF.

rin itoshi

04:17 . contrary to popular belief, rin gets on exceptionally well with animals. FLUFF.

sae itoshi

1. ruin my plans . really, he should have known better than to let someone in so easily– now you've ruined his plans and stained your muddy footprints all over his heart. BITTERSWEET FLUFF.

2. break my heart again! . sae itoshi is a cruel being / the closest he will offer to love is heartbreak. ANGST.

the warmth of love . sae's apartment runs naturally cold.

kurona ranze

02:57 . kurona never calls you by your name. FLUFF.

isagi yoichi

lightweight. in the midst of a drunken daze, isagi says things that weren’t meant to be said. FLUFF, CRACK.

[yooils]

everything i know about love. itoshi brothers (seperately!) x reader. bittersweet. fluff & angst. unrequited love.

☆彡– but really, how can he mourn for something he’s never had ?/ or, reasons why they’ll never love.

a/n: i’m so sorry for the way i delayed all my writings!! the rin thing took so long.

SAE ITOSHI can’t love. (at least, that’s what everyone believes, and what he tells himself.)

he doesn’t love. he criticises, observes, scorns it, but he doesn’t know how to love.

maybe that ability was lost a long time ago– along with his naive passion. maybe it was never there to begin with– a fitting explanation, it seems, for a heartless being like him.

sae itoshi doesn’t love. sae itoshi doesn’t allow himself to indulge in such luxuries. (after all, isn’t football supposed to be his only passion?)

but when he meets you, he feels like his world’s been thrown into turmoil.

you’re leagues above him, he thinks.

you’re more than he deserves; more than what he’s signed up for when he chose his future at the age of 13. there was no love included in the contract. there was only a sponsored one-way trip to spain.

(if anything, he could probably learn to love you.)

you’re kind. you’re so pretty to him that his heart aches when you smile at him. your accidental caresses to his skin makes it feel like it’s burning incessantly, permanently scarring where you touched him. your jokes are so bad sometimes a smile creeps out from his stoic face– but vanishes before you can point it out.

he likes you, but he’ll never love you.

not in this life.

(“you’ve probably noticed, but i do like you as more than a friend, sae.”

sae’s breath hitches. he wants, so desperately, to say yes.

he doesn’t.

your understanding smile lingers with him for days.)

it's no surprise when you start to draw away from him, really. but why does his heart ache when he thinks about a world of soccer– without you?

sae itoshi doesn't love, but now he'll be forever haunted by the whispers of what could have been.

RIN ITOSHI has a warped perception of love.

(after all, he's been hurt before. he knows of the horrors that the ephemeral feeling of love comes with. he knows how this story will end. but while sae itoshi cannot love, rin doesn't need it. he's given up on it, really; the very fabric of love having fallen into his category of 'lukewarm' even when he was a teenager who didn't know better.)

yet through the number of lenses you've seen him through over the years, you wonder if he truly is incapable of loving.

the flame in your heart grows bigger, despite the torrents of mental warnings in your head.

exhibit 1.

for someone who exhibits such emotionless behaviour, he really likes stupid dating sims. and he denies it vehemently, when asked.

“it’s not a matter of the romance. it’s so stupid that it takes my mind off things.” rin deadpans, raising an eyebrow at your sudden question.

exhibit 2.

cutely enough, he has an emo, teenager romance playlist.

(when you point it out, he disagrees that it’s angsty. "it's just for homework. i work better with songs i don't care about as white noise."

–the blatant lie that slips out of his mouth makes you question the very foundation your long standing friendship with rin. was he really that intent on lying about something so amusing?)

exhibit 3.

you've been rin's self proclaimed best friend for as long as you can remember. maybe preschool, or even before.

you know how hard it was for him to keep up with his prodigy brother. you know the lengths he's gone through to earn rank #1 on japan's top 300 footballers. you know rin itoshi, the boy behind the stoic and calculated facade. the boy who says he doesn’t cry, but sometimes finds himself tearing up over sentimental pet movies.

(it’s better this way, you know. it’s better to conceal the fact that you’ve been totally in love with him for almost a decade, from you were both angsty pre-teenagers in middle school until now, in your early twenties, when he’s becoming a rapidly-growing football celebrity and you’re still right where he left you, five years ago.)

there’s no happy ending to this story. there was never meant to be one.

exhibit 4. (the disaster)

it was a mistake.

okay, maybe it was less of a mistake, and more of an impulse decision, considering how little he regretted it the morning after.

he should regret it, shouldn’t he? it’s normal to not regret sleeping with the only person he trusts with his life, right? even if his feelings towards you were only platonic..?

he’s been enchanted by the illusions of love underneath the sheets. now he doesn’t know what to do– when he’s so wrapped up in thoughts of you, you, only you.

does he want to like you? no, heavens, no.

(does he like you, realistically, in an ideal world? yes. so much– maybe he would even sacrifice his career for you in another life.)

love is a curse. love ends everything. love is what fuels his hatred.

does he love you?

even if he does, it’ll be astronomically less than how much you love him, wouldn’t it? does it matter? when he’ll never be enough– when you deserve more?

his rejection– blunt, cold, hits you like a truck.

of course it does.

summary

a part of you will always like rin, you think.

rin is childish– rin, at his twenties– still doesn’t know the true extent of how much you actually like him. you don’t think you’ll ever tell him, either.

maybe you should move on.

how can you, when you’ve been in love with the same person for a decade–? how can you, when he was- is everything to you?

(how could he move on as well– when he’s completely ruined the only person who ever liked him genuinely– without any sort of obligation to do so? how could he, when he was the only one who could be blamed?)

maybe, in ten years, he’ll regret it.

11.22.2023

[yooils]

I LOVE YOUR TBHK THEME ITS SAUR CUTE

thank you!!! tbhk was an impulse concept but i'm glad it still turned out ok teehee ^^

[yooils]

only one bed troupe with sae itoshi except he kicks in his sleep. like, full on shoves you with his foot until you’re dangling off the very edge of the mattress and very much awake. he hogs the blanket too; ensuring you never get as much as you need– and when you reach your breaking point and try to wake him up, he then fully shoves you off the bed.

(who made one bed troupes romantic again? because the only romantic thing about sharing a bed with itoshi sae is that he wears hello kitty matching pyjamas if he trusts you enough.)

and when you land with a ‘thump’ on the wooden floor at 3 am in the morning, he finally wakes up and realises what he’s done to his first and only bedmate since he was 6 years old.

sae, in the dead of the night, is unexpectedly sweet when he’s awake, you think. because the whispered apologies that never leave of his mouth finally slip out, and he’s applying a small bandage to your wounded knee with a tenderness you’ve never seen in him before.

because if it meant to be coddled by sae, you’d gladly volunteer to fall off your bed a million times.

[yooils]

lightweight . drunk!isagi x reader. fluff. accidental proposal. short blurb + extremely forced plot.

— ISAGI YOICHI is a lightweight.

it’s a truth acknowledged by everyone close with him, really, with the way he begins his flowery proses after a drink or two– followed by a gradual descent to an emotional wreck; usually accompanied with an abundance of impulsive decisions and a self depreciating monologue of his life.

but in spite of that, he knows how to handle himself 90% of the time. (the remaining 10% is left unmentioned by all, regardless of the copious amounts of black-mail material some of his teammates possess.)

so naturally, the first time you see yoichi have an emotional breakdown in public is during a team get-together! he’s half on his knees with an abnormally flushed complexion; his eyes are starting to water from the reverie he’s found himself in, and his throat is constricted with hiccups. you've been so-called paged by his colleagues– only to find that the emergency they had mentioned afore to be your drunk boyfriend.

“i just want you to know that i love you.” is the first thing that comes out of isagi's mouth when he catches sight of you entering the bar his team had booked for the night.

the collective wolf whistles from his teammates would have portrayed the unfolding scene to be akin to an extremely romantic (read: corny) scene of a movie, if it wasn't for the uncharacteristically delirious look in your boyfriend’s eyes.

“my affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this. i just want you to know that i’m pregnant, and you’re the baby. will you marry me?”

(a few feet away, rin spits out his drink, outraged at the sheer blasphemy of one of his favourite books and movies. nagi's recording next to him, half-asleep yet still giggling at his friend's drunken antics.)

you love yoichi too, you really do– but you have to run through the list of things you love about him just to keep yourself from strangling him to the brink of unconsciousness so he stops talking.

– he's cute. he's only a little bit annoying sometimes. he does the laundry properly. he just confessed that he loved you amidst his drunken stupor even though you've never said it to each other directly before in person– and then proposed to you. and he's hot.

finally forfeiting to his boyish, drunken charms (and having had enough public humiliation for today), you find yourself and your extremely drunk boyfriend in the middle of the parking lot; with you holding him by his coat so he doesn’t escape, and him squirming around with airy sounds of discomfort which you had opted to ignore.

isagi’s leaning in close, breath reeking of alcohol and hands fumbling with his seatbelt clumsily.

“psst.. don’t tell anyone, but i’m gonna marry you one day.”

the pause in the car is deafening.

you furrow your eyebrows. he obliviously leans his cheek against the car window, unbothered by the sheer weight that his words had carried.

“wait, you don’t want other people to find out that you’re going to propose to me, so you tell the person you’re actually proposing to?”

his drunk gasp speaks volumes to you. “oh no, did i say that out loud? am i being kidnapped? where am i? is the world finally ending? but i still haven’t told (name) that i loved them…”

(okay, maybe he’s a little more stupid when he’s drunk, but you’ve grown to become a believer in the concept that drunken words are sober thoughts in the last hour. you hope.)

isagi’s eyes melt into something akin pools of sapphire stones under the lamppost-lit light. it’s been your favourite colour from the moment you met him.

“yoichi, why are you sniffing me?”

you amusedly ask, finding minor entertainment in his actions.

he’s half slumped on you by the time you stop the car by his apartment– and you realise that there’s no way of getting out of your vehicle without damaging 1.) your spine 2.) your arms and 3.) his dignity. (which really is already ruined, objectively, from the amount of second-hand embarrassment you’ve faced tonight.

“don’t wanna leave you.. smells like home..” he almost-incoherently mumbles, and you impulsively have half a mind to keep him forever-intoxicated because of how cute, despite tedious he’s become.

as a relatively simple man, isagi has always been subjected to a desire for more; especially when it came to football.

(but you, he thinks, will always be more than enough for him. and he hopes he’s enough for you too, even in his drunken haze, because he doesn’t want to let you out of his grasps for even a second).

the way you stroke his hair has his mind collapsing into a puddle of melted goo even in the air-conditioned car. you’ve rewritten his brain chemistry to make yourself the only pearl in his universe composed of mostly football, and in every life, he would let you break his heart over and over again.

once you realise that he's stopped his drunken ramblings and fumbling, the panic finally kicks in.

"yoichi, are you sleeping? we're still in the car park! i can't get out with you laid on me!"

(the next morning, he apologises after a much needed hangover pill and a reminder of what happened last night, sent to him in the form of a video by nagi.

you don't tell him that you've already seen the ring in his sock drawer.)

8.12.23

[yooils]

i can’t wait to see your future works, val! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა as for me, the fandoms i’ve been invested in really are just the three fandoms i write for: jujutsu kaisen, haikyuu, and blue lock! though i’m thinking of branching out to other fandoms, i told myself that i should finish everything in my agenda first before committing to another fandom ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

i’m so sorry for the late reply, noo!! i was attempting to catch up on my drafts :( but i get what you mean!! i always have this overwhelming urge to write for diff fandoms but i can’t even manage completing all my bllk works because the plots are so random sometimes. i’ve been considering jjk or even genshin though, because the characters there have so much potential to write to!

[yooils]

write it, please. the angst, i’ll be sure to be thankful through and through if you were to bless us with a part three of “ruin my plans”. i love angst, ‘ts my favorite. not too far from your sae work, i remember it was the first blue lock work i ever saw here! ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა

and i remember checking your blog and i was in awe, “the theme? the color palette? it’s so cool, waah! and the writing, too!” this was noo’s genuine reaction (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

now, i’m here, rambling with you! <3

jdjdh thats so sweet!! i’m glad i got to know u after becoming mutuals <33 AND i’m in the process of drafting 4 it!! i’m thinking either a short work of sae emo monologues or a second chance @ love troupe (which would be really cute especially if he has this epiphany that he really can’t function w/out reader) but it’ll have to wait after i finish my drunk isagi (procrastinating…) and this long yukimiya fic i’ve been planning ^^

how about you?? what fandoms have you been invested in lately?

[yooils]

stop, you're so sweet huhu (⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝) us, just in awe of each other's writing <33 and i certainly wouldn't mind having you drop by in my ask box in the future! 'm looking forward to many brainrot and rambles that we'll be sharing, val! ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)

ofc!!! looking forward to it too <33 (on that note, i kinda want to write a prt 3 to my sae fic where it’s just him being sad and miserable???

[noomon]

ding!

. . . itoshi rin. like father, like daughter.

“why is she doing that?”

rin’s eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, his lips somewhat pouting as he doesn’t understand why his daughter, who was nine months old, is acting in such a way. he’s trying to rationalize it in his head; he possibly couldn’t have taught her to do such a gesture, and you surely wouldn’t have either, right? was he that terrible of a parent to have his little sunshine do that to him?

“hm? doing what, rinrin?”

“she’s sticking her tongue out at me,” he says, and he feels a bit dejected at the thought of his daughter resenting him. he looks at her, then back at you, “did you teach her that?” rin asks quietly as he gently rocked her back and forth in his arms. “because i didn’t.”

“oh.”

“oh?”

“rin,” you chuckle, clearly amused. this made your husband even more confused.

what was so funny?

as cute as your daughter is, he still minded the way she always stuck out her tongue at him. and rin, knowing himself, would’ve let it slide the first few times, often entertaining her by mirroring the expression, but she only ever seemed to do it to him and no one else. the baby, the angel that she is, never did that to you, to his family, or even to his older brother.

he was sure that sae taught her that, and the mere thought of it being true slightly annoyed rin.

“rin,” you start, “she got that from you, y’know?”

your husband is brought back to reality as he processes your words.

from him?

“from me?” he asks, glancing at his daughter, who giggled at him, leaning her chubby cheek on his chest. rin swore his heart melted on the spot, and that all problems had been cleared, though not quite . . .

“yes, you. we were looking at your baby album earlier, and most of your pictures were pictures of you sticking your tongue out at the camera, so i guess she’s mirroring you,” you told him, holding it together to not burst out laughing at his dumbfounded expression. “plus, she watched a highlight of your career video online. most of the clips were when you’re so engrossed in the match that you stick out your tongue, love.”

you shrug your shoulders, happily smiling toward your little girl. “it seems that someone’s copying her daddy, huh?”

“oh.”

a faint blush blooms on rin’s face, and he tries to hide it by turning away from you, though you’re just as quick to persuade him to face you once more. “you’re copying me, hm?” he says to her. “that’s cute.”

in turn, the little sunshine giggles, sticking out her tongue at him, her eyes squeezed shut as she places her small hands on either side of rin’s cheek.

“bleh!” she cheers.

rin sighs, a small smile appearing on his lips. “bleh,” he mirrors her.

of course, you managed to snap a photo of the undeniably cute scene. you smiled triumphantly at yourself as you took a good look at the two in your phone’s gallery. this would be a great addition to her baby album, you think, plus it’s so adorable to see her pick up one of rin’s mannerisms that he carried with him until adulthood.

it certainly was like father, like daughter.

noomon © 2023. do not copy, modify, or translate my work.

[yooils]

OH MY GDODHSHF THIS IS SO CUTE 😭😭😭

[yooils]

hello, hello! i just wanted to drop by and say that your works are so amazing and never fails to brighten my day. thank you for sharing them with us! also, your blog theme is so cool! ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

hello!!! thank you for the compliment hssjsjsn but really, your works are also really really good and so !!??!! most of the time they've really got me wanting to kick my feet out into the air and giggle like a little kid because they make me so warm and fuzzy inside <3 it's so nice to have a moot drop by too; if you don't mind, i'll most likely be visiting your ask box more in the future just to interact and brainrot with you ^^ thanku for writing to me! <33

[spiriteddreams]

Evermore

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader Warnings: angst, fluff, happy ending(? yea i'm pretty sure it is) Word Count: ~2.3k A/N: my flex is that i heard rwylm live so i won at life :D

seventeen — champagne problems Gojo Satoru slips through your fingers before you even register it happens. One moment you are dancing in the rain, Infinity not yet perfected as the cold seeps through your clothes. At seventeen you are both young and free, blissfully unaware of the consequences of your own actions as you fall in love. You may have fallen first, stumbling over the uneven cobblestone that protruded from the ground of Jujutsu High, but Gojo Satoru fell harder. Head over heels and far too arrogant for his own good, the holder of Limitless and the Six Eyes sweeps you off your feet and swears to offer you the world. He’s the strongest, and with his best friend at his side, there is really nothing that can stop the two of you. He spouts cheesy poetry with roses behind his back, looking away when you poke fun at the red that rises on his cheeks. You think you could bask in this moment forever, caught up in the adolescent innocence that was running from Principal Yaga during school hours and baking with Shoko in the middle of the night.

“This dorm is a madhouse,” you laugh, hand in his as you stumble to his room after narrowly avoiding being caught. 

Gojo grins back at you, “Well, it’s made for me!” A smile stretches across his face as he tugs you through the hallways. You ignore the way your friends watch with knowing looks, purposefully turning away to give the two of you space. When Gojo Satoru was seventeen, he didn’t quite grasp Infinity just yet, so the idea of space between the two of you, was impossible.

It is shattered in an instant and Gojo’s eyes become clouded with the weight of the reality of the jujutsu world. He drops your hand in the midst of dancing, leaving you standing in the rain, nothing to block out or distract you from the biting cold that stings against your skin. The death of Amanai Riko shakes Gojo to his core; both him and Geto, and he slips far beyond your reach. He’s there but he isn’t, and when you try to reach out to him, you feel as if he’s raised Infinity against you too.

The weight of the world seems to crash upon his shoulders as the applauses that he once reveled in became a dull roar in the back of his mind. Blurred faces haunt his memories and when you try to ask, Gojo shakes his head, mumbling that he doesn’t want to talk about what happened.

You don’t break up, but sometimes, you think that maybe, it would have been easier if things had ended then.

twenty — tolerate it Your heart drops when you hear that Geto has now been labeled as a curse user and is to be executed on sight. You refuse to believe that this boy that you’ve spent the last few years with in high school had suddenly turned his back to you, to Shoko, to Gojo. Gojo. 

“Satoru?” your voice is quiet but it cuts through the silence of his dorm room. You poke your head into the dark room, barely making out his figure leaning against his desk, head in hands and hair falling over his face. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence and when you step into his room, you feel as if you’ve fallen into a trap. The tension is thick and choking and you hold your breath as you approach him. His eyes are closed and you watch the steady rise and fall of his chest. The soft huffs of breath are the only sound that accompanies you in this silence.

“Satoru?” your call of his name for the second time makes his head raise, just barely tilting to acknowledge your presence. At twenty, you are caught between a teenager and an adult and amidst your own struggles, you realize that you don’t quite know what to do anymore. It shouldn’t have taken you this long to try to talk to him, because now that the distance has begun to stretch thin, you find that you are running out of things to say. How does one comfort a loved one who has lost another when, to him, you would never understand what it feels like to grapple with this turmoil. His words, not yours, remind yourself, mind flashing back to the last argument you had, one that ended with heaving chests and two stubborn teenagers. Only this time, you had Shoko to turn to, and Gojo had no one else. 

“Please, stop trying,” his voice is raspy but it hurts to hear. You realize that he’s far gone from your reach and this distance that you had once thought might be good for both you and him has instead come back around to tear you apart. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” The cycle repeats and he shuts you out once more despite each tallied attempt.

You say “I love you” to a seemingly empty room, the words clinging to nothing but the dust and shadows that you feel like you’ve been talking to this whole time. 

twenty-one — happiness Gojo Satoru never flinches. He takes the punches without batting an eye and strikes back even harder, knowing exactly where it hurts. He knows which cuts will bleed the most until you are left with nothing but pride to grapple with. 

You break up with him when you are both twenty-one. Four years together is shattered in an instant. Your voice doesn’t waver, doesn’t break, and neither do you. But he just stands there, eyes covered by sunglasses and takes it. It’s not messy, there are no raised voices, just the weight of exhaustion of two lovers who have pulled a string taut. Loving turns to waiting for the other to take the scissors and cut the string, but both are too stubborn to make the first move. And when given the opportunity, when he slips you the scissors behind your back you make the final decision. Emotions feel like a whirlwind in the moment as you grapple with knowing that you are the one to end four years of happiness. 

“I’m moving to Kyoto, I want a new start and Utahime is looking for a new roommate,” you say when the worst of it has passed. A few months down the line and you find that staying in Tokyo is only doing more harm. You become caught between growing tensions and your own internal conflict. So when Shoko offhandedly mentions moving somewhere new, but still with hesitance in her tone, and Utahime reaching out with regards to her new apartment, you jump at the new opportunity. For some reason, Gojo is the first person you decide to tell. He glances at you with a smile, teeth peeking out between his lips. You freeze at the sight, horrified at the cruel realization that you can’t quite tell if Gojo is truly happy for you to be starting anew, or if this winning smile of his was already starting to turn into a smirk.

“Don’t miss me too much!” ever the tease, Gojo tilts his head down so he can make eye contact, as if giving you one last look at those beautiful eyes of his before he hides them away. You’ll miss those eyes of his, you think; those ever knowing eyes that seem to see through you and break past every wall that you’ve built.

He does see through it all, so in tune with your emotions and every little twitch of your eyes and lips. Gojo is well aware of his own faults in this fall, but stubborn as he is, and selfish in his want to keep things civil, he doesn’t say anything else. His heart drops at the news of your departure. He can keep himself emotionally distant but physically? Perhaps this time you’re the one slipping beyond his reaches.

twenty-eight — long story short Utahime tells you that Gojo has taken in a new kid. You choke on your tea at the words until she clarifies that he’s simply taken in a boy to Jujutsu Tech (not custody over another kid, you hope that poor Megumi is doing well dealing with this man-child). At twenty-eight you know you’ve moved fast past your teenage romance that was Gojo Satoru. Now, you laugh at the memories, looking back on faded photos and scrawled love letters that once swept you off your feet.

But still, you find that it’s easy to fall into bad habits. And this one just so happens to be named Gojo Satoru. Ever cocky and teasing with his words and touches, you find yourself spending more time at Jujutsu Tech under the guise of working with Okkotsu Yuuta. Gojo finds his ways to slip back into your life, whether it's to bring you sweets he picked up as he was coming in late to work, or try to pester you about what it’s like to live with Utahime. There are no issues with humouring him, after all, you’ve had seven years of reflection. 

But seven years later you find yourself in his presence again and Gojo seems to be making every attempt to win you over again. He makes no attempt to hide what he’s trying to do, and you’re horrified to learn that Shoko knows all about it and she finds it rather amusing. 

At twenty-eight, both you and Gojo have had a myriad of experiences under your belt. Maturity comes with age, and while that may be said about the both of you (for the most part), you realize that Gojo still holds onto some of that childish innocence and energy that he did when he was younger. You see it in the way he raises Megumi who responds to his guardian’s attempts with eye rolls and glances over at you for help. You see it in the way he teaches his first years, poor Inumaki, Panda, Maki and Okkotsu staring blankly as their teacher brandishes extra sweet pastries as if it were some sort of reward. 

It is that energy that he brings back into your life that has you stumbling back, indulging in late night invitations to grab food and reminisce about your teenage days. Now, with the alarming lack of physical distance between the two of you, you would be lying if you said the thought never crossed your mind, that if you had stayed, what might have been. 

And one night, when you find yourself tangled up in his arms, you run, cursing his name through confusion and frustration. Seven years down the drain and you feel foolish.

When Gojo wakes to the distance reinstated, he wonders if you both will survive this when it all ends.

twenty-nine — right where you left me You return to Tokyo Jujutsu Tech under Gojo’s request. He texts you out of the blue with emoticons that contradict the severity of the situation at hand. You return with hesitance, walking through old hallways lined with dust and memories of teenagers that ran through with no care in the world. The trek back to your old classroom is one that brings back memories in waves and you can only wonder why Gojo has asked you to meet there. Your old classroom, the one that he now teaches in, with chairs that groan when you sit on them and desks that have markings from your teenage days looks nothing new, and yet it’s unfamiliar. 

Gojo sits with his feet propped up on the desk, chair tipping back precariously as he rocks back and forth, head turned towards the open window with blindfold over his eyes. He sits there, not yet acknowledging your presence, as if he’s been there for ages. The dust from the room seems to swirl around him, but never quite settling on his hair and skin because you know that he has Infinity raised. You wonder when the last time he let it down around you was. 

“What a sad sight,” you joke, “I never thought you would willingly sit in those seats again.” Gojo turns at the sound of your voice and a smile crosses over his lips. You know that he could have sensed you from a mile away, so you can only wonder why he decides to play stupid like this, minding his own business, seemingly caught up in his own thoughts. 

“Sometimes I like to indulge in old memories,” he doesn’t make any effort to move so you take the step forward, crossing through the doorway to enter this room of memories. You’re both older and wiser now and yet you seem to abandon it at the door. 

At twenty-nine you both know what’s coming next. The world has gone to shit and it’s impossible not to see the exhaustion that weighs down upon Gojo Satoru. Your feet move first, then your hands and your body as you embrace him tightly. For a moment you are thrown back in time, locked in the fantasy of seventeen with your arms wound tight around him. To stay here forever, like this, together, is all either of you dreamed of when you were young and stupid.

Fast forward to the present and you find yourself in this same old familiar position with years of history to separate the two of you. In the back of your mind you wonder if this is the right decision to make. You know that Gojo has been trying to return to your life, attempt after attempt chipping away at ivy covered walls as you take every chance to run. But as October peers around the corner, you let yourself fall back into his arms.

And when it’s time to go, when the world calls for the strongest, when it asks for Gojo Satoru to once again make another sacrifice, you hold his face close to yours and throw out all thoughts that this could end badly. 

“I’ll be here, right where you left me.”

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3 a/n: spirit appears, spirit writes, spirit disappears (hopefully not)

[yooils]

new fic coming out tmr <3

[yooils]

im back!!! 6 drafts left to go woohoo!!