One Four Five

it's times like these you need some -The Cat Empire

[shegotistical]

I just watched The Blob for the first time and not to spoil it but cold is the only way to stop it so they ship it to the arctic. And these old B movies get a lot of flack for not actually being scary but the last line of the film was that the blob can’t be killed but at least it’s stopped “so long as the arctic stays frozen” and lemme tell you that is THE most terrifying line a viewer in 2018 could hear.

[geardrops]

anyway i have a pitch for The Blob 2

[pointless-letters]

One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.

[pointless-letters]

As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.

[babyoaf]

i was looking up a mitski song and came across this GEM of an article

[catchymemes]

“My mom has 5 sets of china (don’t ask) and put them in her pool prior to being evacuated from fires in northern California. The dishware survived!”

[ap-kinda-lit]

Mom priorities

[hyratel]

@biomechanicalfishhorror @ocoree @gallusrostromegalus

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. To quote an old engineering proverb: “If it looks stupid, but it works, it’s not stupid.”

2. I love that the two lawn chairs are in there too.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Ooo ahh hot hot

[ballisticgeltorsosyou]

finally an actual fucking shower thought

[zackisontumblr]

having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house

[tomberi-no]

[pastelmoth-deactivated20120712]

“Please do not enter the garden area.”

[cutekittensarefun]

Professor jiggly is loose

[babyanimalgifs]

Here they come

[luxjii]

get you a boy who can do both

[luxjii]

[ripe]

[ottermatopoeia]

castin spells

[atlas-prime]

Tai chi

[highlandvalley]

[kingthekj]

Great way to start a friendship

[kingcaroline]

Trio

[hyperionangel]

if i got to ask a genie for a wish i wouldn’t just ask for money i would specifically ask for all of jeff bezos’ money and then use all his money to do all the things people keep saying jeff bezos could do with his money

[hyperionangel]

pros of this plan:

the genie won’t be conjuring up large sums of money for me, thus inflating the economy by flooding it and lowering the value of the dollar

i could make it part of the deal that the money is transferred to me legally, so it doesn’t just look like i suspiciously came into a lot of money

i looked up the amount it’s $135 billion like yeah that would look suspicious if i just took that money from jeff bezos

contrary to popular opinion i would leave jeff bezos with enough money to support himself and his family, perhaps even thrive, such as $100 000 a year. that way capitalists won’t make him into a martyr and he has nothing to complain about

i distribute a lot of the wealth instinctively to charities that make a difference globally, because Fuck national borders

i leave $100 tips at every restaurant i go to

i will not spend the money on ridiculous things like extra houses or yachts or sports cars because i am a reasonable human being who understands that literally none of that matters

i’ll use my second genie wish to make sure amazon hires a new ceo that is charitable and generous and also believes in human rights

and then i’ll use my third wish to free the genie. i’ve seen aladdin duh

cons of this plan:

i do not know any genies

[h0odrich]

what drugs have you done

nice try mom

[jame7t]

“cats can’t do any tricks” well wrong.

cats can:

sniff

fall off things

Lick plastic (BAD trick)

[un-petit-papillon]

• 10ft vertical leap

[lynati]

* Find your bladder with all four feet at once

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and loudly complained “why can’t I treat everyone the same?” “I don’t want to be a Sie!” “but being friendly is respectful!” “wouldn’t using ‘du’ just show I like them?” until one guy conceded “I suppose maybe I’d use Sie with someone like the prime minister, if he weren’t such a cunt” and my teacher ended up with her head in her hands saying “you are all banned from using du until I can trust you”

[deflare]

God help Japanese teachers in Australia.

[languageoclock]

if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is

[yesterdaysprint]

Daily News, New York, May 9, 1929