young, broke and fabulous

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[youngbrokefab]

Hey, I'm young, broke and fabulous but you can call me Ana • 19yo . AUDHD •

I blab, read and mediocrely write sometimes. You can find my recommendations under the tag #fic recs in my profile and #5 star reads on my most recommended works.

My inbox is OPEN for requests/small talks and thoughts

A better navigation post coming soon

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[brasilify]

3 Books to Understand US Imperialism in Latin America

3 livros para entender o imperialismo estadunidense na América Latina

• Las venas abiertas de América Latina by Eduardo Galeano (Uruguay)

A visceral account of how Latin America has been historically exploited first by European colonial powers, later by US imperialism. Galeano argues that the region’s poverty is not the result of internal failure, but the direct consequence of centuries of extraction, economic dependency, and political violence.

• Fórmula para o caos: A derrubada de Salvador Allende by Luiz Alberto Moniz Bandeira (Brasil)

A meticulous investigation into how the United States worked to sabotage, destabilize, and ultimately overthrow the democratically elected government of Salvador Allende in Chile. Drawing on documents and strategic analysis, the book exposes the coup as part of a broader imperial project rather than an isolated event.

• Washington Bullets: A History of the CIA, Coups, and Assassinations by Vijay Prashad (India)

A global overview of CIA interventions throughout the twentieth century, connecting coups, political assassinations, and covert wars across multiple continents. Prashad reveals a clear pattern: whenever a country attempts to step outside Washington’s orbit, imperial “bullets” literal or symbolic soon follow.

[brasilify]

1970 World Cup, Mexico City, Azteca Stadium

[beasbrain]

I Told You Things

description: following the demobat attack, eddie's in a coma three hours away fighting for his life. while the rest of the party tries their best to move forward, you find yourself stuck somewhere between hope and grief, balancing your own heartbreak while trying to keep dustin from completely falling apart.

pairing: eddie x you (fem!reader)

tags: post season 4, coma au, reader insert, eddie's gf! reader, hurt/comfort, heavy angst, emotional hurt/comfort, protective reader, season 5 vibe dustin, make sure you have tissues on standby, season 5 vibe steve, everyone in this group needs therapy, dustin smokes a cigarette and immediately regrets it, steve getting clocked, probably one of the most dramatic, emotions-focused fic i have ever written tbh

TW: grief themes, emotion heavy

WC: 6.1k

A/N: so i saw a tiktok edit to 'I Told You Things' by Gracie Abrams that immediately gave me inspo to write this fic. it's very reader and oc heavy, but i promise it's worth it. (definitely tear-jerking fs) reblogs are always appreciated friends <33

I didn’t run away this time…right? 

“Hey…” Nancy’s voice shifts you back into the present. She’s standing at the foot of your bed, soda bottle in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other. You lift your jaw just enough to acknowledge her presence, eyes quickly scanning the scene.

“Your mom said you hadn’t been out much, so I wanted to bring your favorite. Chicken sandwich, extra pickles, no tomato, right? And a Coke, of course.”

You turn your head away, nodding once. “Yeah, that’s great. Thanks, Nance.”

She half-smiles, placing the contents onto your crowded nightstand and slowly approaching you, kneeling on the floor. “We all miss you, y’know? I know school starting tomorrow may be hard, but I think you should try to go.” 

She means well; you can tell that much. Nancy would never try to make you do something out of her own selfish desires. And, to a point, she is right. You have a couple more months of school left; then you never have to step foot in Hawkins High ever again. 

If only it were that simple, though.

Because now, not only do you have to attend school with the same assholes who make your life a living hell, you now have to do it alone. Sure, you have the party, but it’s not the same. 

Nobody's going to walk down the hallways holding your hand, obnoxiously loud and completely unashamed of it. Nobody's going to lean against your locker and make stupid comments just to get a smile out of you. Nobody's going to slip notes into your textbooks or steal fries off your lunch tray while insisting he was "saving you from yourself."

Nobody's going to be there. 

The realization still hits you at random. Like a punch. Like a car crash. Like waking up every morning and having to remember all over again.

Nancy watches your face carefully; she's always been good at reading people.

"You don't have to stay all day," she says softly. "Just... maybe try first period. See how it feels."

You let out a dry laugh. "See how it feels?"

Nancy's shoulders sink slightly. "I didn't mean—"

"I know what you meant." Your eyes stay fixed on the wall. "It's just funny."

The word funny comes out sounding anything but. "You know what's gonna happen tomorrow?"

Nancy doesn't answer.

"People are gonna stare."

Your throat tightens.

"They're gonna whisper."

You look down at your hands.

"And they're gonna talk about him."

The room falls silent, because you both know exactly who him is. Not Eddie the person. Not Eddie who spent three hours teaching Dustin how to play guitar. Not Eddie who drove halfway across Indiana because you casually mentioned wanting to see a meteor shower.

No.

They're going to talk about Eddie Munson. The freak. The murderer. The devil worshipper. The missing suspect. The monster. The version of him Hawkins created because the truth was too complicated.

Nancy looks away first. You hate that; you hate when people do that. When they can't even argue because they know you're right.

"He isn't dead." The words leave your mouth before you can stop them.

Nancy freezes. Because nobody talks about it, not really. The Party knows. Steve knows. Robin knows. Nancy knows. Your parents know because they had to. And that's it.

The secret sits between all of you like a loaded gun. Two states away. In a hospital room. Machines breathing and blinking and keeping time. Eddie Munson: twenty feet from life, twenty feet from death. And nobody knows which direction he's moving.

"He isn't dead," you repeat quietly.

Nancy's eyes soften. "I know."

"No, you don't." The words come out sharper than intended. You immediately see the hurt flash across her face.

But you're too tired to apologize. Too angry. Too exhausted. Too everything.

"Everyone keeps acting like he's gone."

"Nobody thinks that."

"You do."

Nancy shakes her head. "I don't."

"You do." Your voice cracks. The first crack all day, the first sign that maybe the anger isn't holding as well as you thought. "Because every time someone talks about him, they use the past tense."

Nancy goes silent. 

"'He was funny.'" Your eyes burn.

"'He was brave.'" Your fingers curl into the blanket.

"'He loved you.'" A laugh escapes you. "Like he's already dead."

You stare at the ceiling while Nancy stares at the floor. And neither of you says anything for a long moment.

Finally, she speaks first, "Have you talked to Dustin?"

You immediately scoff. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't want to talk."

Nancy gives you a look. "Dustin always wants to talk."

You shake your head. "Not anymore."

And that's the worst part, because Dustin Henderson used to talk constantly. Now every conversation feels like pulling teeth.

Every answer is one word. Every smile is fake. Every joke sounds rehearsed. The kid who used to light up every room he walked into now looks permanently pissed off at the world. You understand why, you really do. Because every morning you wake up angry too.

Angry at Vecna. Angry at Hawkins. Angry at the government. Angry at every stupid machine keeping Eddie alive while refusing to wake him up.

Some days you're even angry at him. For being brave. For being stupid. For staying behind. For making the choice he made. But it wouldn’t be Eddie without some stupid decisions, right? 

A month into the school year, you'd developed a routine. Not because things had gotten easier, just because people could get used to almost anything, even misery.

You woke up. You got dressed. You ignored your reflection. You went to school. You came home. You stared at the ceiling until sleep finally dragged you under, then you did it all again.

The hallways of Hawkins High felt different now. People had moved on from the "earthquake", from the deaths. From the nightmares...at least on the surface.

But grief had settled into the cracks of everything. You saw it every time you looked at Dustin. At first, everyone had hovered around him. Mike. Lucas. Will. His mom. You.

The entire Party treating him like he might shatter if somebody breathed too hard. The problem was that Dustin Henderson hated being treated like glass. So eventually everyone stopped, everyone except you.

Not because you thought he was fragile, but because you knew exactly how much energy it took to pretend you weren't. You saw it in the way he walked through the halls now: head down, shoulders tense, jaw constantly clenched.

The bright-eyed kid who used to wave his arms around while talking now kept his hands shoved into his pockets. The kid who used to laugh loud enough to get yelled at by teachers now barely spoke in class. And whenever somebody mentioned Eddie, you saw it.

The split-second flinch to the immediate anger. The way he looked like he wanted to swing at somebody. So you stayed close.

Not hovering, just nearby, close enough to step in when necessary. Which, unfortunately, was becoming a full-time job.

"Dude, seriously, stop." You grabbed the back of Dustin's jacket as he attempted to launch himself across the cafeteria.

"LET GO OF ME."

"No."

"He's literally asking for it."

Across the room, Jason Carver's former teammates sat laughing at a table. One of them made a dramatic devil-horn gesture when he noticed Dustin looking. The others laughed. Dustin immediately tried to commit murder, again.

You hauled him backward. "Dustin."

"He called Eddie a freak."

"He always calls Eddie a freak."

"Exactly."

"Dustin."

"Let me hit him."

"No."

"One punch."

"No."

"Half a punch."

You sighed. "No such thing."

He groaned loudly as you dragged him toward the exit doors. "You're worse than Steve."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"It is today."

The second the cafeteria doors shut behind you, Dustin yanked his arm free. "Why do you keep stopping me?"

You stared at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." His face was red, eyes bright with anger. "Nobody does anything."

"Dustin—"

"They say whatever they want." His voice cracked. "They get to talk about him like he's some psychopath and everybody just lets them."

The fight immediately left your body, because there it was: the real reason. Not anger, pain.

You leaned back against the wall. "He thinks he knows who Eddie was. But we know the real him, and that's what matters"

Dustin looked away. "It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"No." His laugh sounded bitter. "It really doesn't."

The hallway fell quiet. Students passed by, lockers slammed, a teacher yelled somewhere in the distance. But neither of you moved.

Finally, Dustin muttered, "I should've been quicker."

Your heart dropped. "Dustin."

"I should've."

"You know that's not true."

"How?" His voice rose immediately. "How do you know?"

You pushed away from the wall. "Because if you had gone back, you'd be dead too."

"Maybe."

"No."

"DON'T."

Several students turned to look. Dustin lowered his voice immediately, but somehow it sounded even worse. "Don't tell me what would've happened."

You swallowed. Because this conversation? Is one that kept coming back, the one neither of you ever won.

"He was alone."

"Dustin."

"He was alone, and I was too injured to get there quicker."

Your throat tightened, because you'd thought the same thing. A thousand times. Ten thousand. Every night. Every morning. Every second in between. But you couldn't let him live there, not forever.

"You know what would've happened if you went back? If you tried to step in?"

Dustin crossed his arms. "What?"

"Eddie would've thrown you through a wall and made you leave."

His mouth twitched, just barely. The smallest crack in the anger.

"He would've. You know he would've"

Dustin rolled his eyes. "Probably."

"Definitely."

"He would've called me a little shit."

"Absolutely."

The corner of his mouth lifted, then immediately fell again. But it was something. You'd learned to count those moments.

The knock came a little after nine. You almost didn't hear it.

The cigarette balanced lazily between your fingers as you sat on the front porch steps, wrapped in one of Eddie’s old hoodies despite the lingering warmth of September. The neighborhood was quiet. Crickets sang somewhere in the distance, and a dog barked a few houses over.

For the first time all day, your head had finally gone quiet. Then came the knock. Not on the front door, but on the porch railing. You turned your head and immediately sat up.

"Dustin?"

His left eye was swelling. There was blood on his lip. More smeared across the collar of his shirt. One knuckle looked completely split open.

"Dustin, what the hell happened?"

He shrugged the world's most Dustin Henderson shrug. "Got into a fight."

You stared. "A fight."

"Yeah."

"Dustin."

"What?"

"Dustin."

His eyes rolled. "Oh my God, please stop saying my name like that."

You stood up. "What happened?"

"Some guy."

"What guy?"

"Some asshole."

"What asshole?"

"The usual kind."

You sighed. Of course. Of course it was that. You already knew before he even said it. The bruises. The expression. The way he was trying way too hard to act normal. Somebody had said something about Eddie. Again.

You moved aside and jerked your head toward the porch steps. "Sit."

"I'm fine."

"Dustin."

"Okay, Jesus."

He sat. You disappeared inside long enough to grab a first aid kit from the bathroom before returning. The second you sat down beside him, he groaned.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"You aren't my mom."

"Thank God for that."

He snorted.

You grabbed his chin before he could protest and turned his face toward the porch light. The split lip looked nasty. Nothing broken, probably. Hopefully.

"You should see the other guy."

"Did you win?"

A small grin appeared. "Barely."

"Proud of you."

"Thank you."

"You shouldn't have done it."

"I know."

You dabbed antiseptic against his lip, and he hissed. "Ow."

"Good."

"You're mean."

"So I've been told."

The conversation faded after that. You finished patching up his knuckles while he stared out into the darkness beyond your yard.

Eventually he spoke.

"I miss him." The words came so quietly you almost missed them.

"I know."

Dustin swallowed; you could see the tension building in his jaw. The way he was trying to keep himself together. The way he'd been trying for months.

"He would've loved this."

You glanced over. "What?"

"The fight." A watery laugh escaped him. "He would've thought it was hilarious."

You smiled despite yourself. "He would've bought you ice cream afterward."

"Exactly."

"And told everyone you won way harder than you actually did."

Dustin nodded. "Exactly."

"I hope he wakes up," he whispers.

You looked down at the bandage wrapped around his hand. "So do I."

"No." His voice cracked. "I really hope he wakes up."

And there it was, the thing neither of you ever said out loud. Because hoping meant acknowledging the possibility that he might not.

The possibility sat in the corner of every room. Every conversation. Every hospital update. Every phone call. Nobody wanted to look at it, but it was always there.

Dustin wiped aggressively at his eyes, angry at the tears before they even fell.

"I just..." His shoulders shook. "I just need him to wake up."

Your chest tightened. "Dustin."

"He deserves to." The tears came anyway.

"I know."

"He deserves to see Wayne again."

"I know."

"He deserves to play another show."

"I know."

"He deserves—" His voice broke completely; the rest of the sentence never came out.

You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer immediately. No hesitation, no questions. Because some hurts couldn't be fixed, only carried. And for a few minutes, Dustin cried.

Hard enough to let some of it out, enough to breathe again. Eventually he leaned back, red-eyed and embarrassed. You pretended not to notice, a kindness the both of you appreciated. Then his gaze landed on the cigarette still burning between your fingers.

"Oh."

"No."

"What?"

"No."

His eyes narrowed. "You know what I'm gonna ask."

"Absolutely not."

"Come on."

"No."

"One hit."

"Dustin."

"One."

"No."

"I'm basically an adult."

"You are fifteen."

"Close enough."

You laughed. "Not even remotely."

He groaned dramatically. "Please."

You stared at him, then at the bruises, then at the exhausted expression. Then back at him.

"This is a horrible idea."

"Probably."

"A terrible one."

"Definitely."

"You better not tell anybody."

His face lit up as you handed it over, immediately regretting every life decision that had led you here. Dustin took the cigarette, trying very hard to look cool. Trying even harder to look experienced. Then he inhaled.

A second later, he nearly died. The coughing started instantly, while you doubled over laughing.

"Oh, my God."

"SHUT UP."

He coughed harder. "THAT'S DISGUSTING."

"You're such an idiot."

"Why do people do that voluntarily?"

"Excellent question."

Dustin handed the cigarette back as if it had personally betrayed him. You were still laughing when the phone rang, freezing you both. You exchanged a look, then stood.

"Probably my mom."

"Probably."

The phone continued ringing. You stepped inside, crossed the living room, and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

Static. Then, "Get to the Wheelers."

You blinked. "Steve?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Mandatory meeting."

"What happened?"

"Can't say."

"Steve."

"Can't say."

"Steve."

"Nope."

"What kind of mandatory meeting?"

Steve sighed. "The kind where everyone needs to be here."

“Fine.”

The second you walked into the Wheeler basement, you knew something was wrong. Not apocalypse wrong, not Upside Down wrong, just...wrong.

Everyone was there. Mike sat on the couch, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Will was beside him, staring holes into the carpet. Lucas and Max occupied the recliner, knees bouncing anxiously. Robin was pacing. Nancy stood with her arms folded. And Steve—

Steve looked like he was about to deliver the world's worst speech. The second Dustin entered behind you, the room went quiet. A sinking feeling settled into your stomach.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

Nobody answered, which was answer enough. Dustin immediately turned around. "Nope."

"Dustin—"

"Nope."

"Dude, just sit down."

"Nope."

Steve stepped forward. "Dustin."

"What?"

"Sit."

Dustin looked at the room, then at you, then back at the room. His face twisted immediately. "Oh, my God."

"Dustin—"

"You guys are serious?"

You rubbed a hand down your face. "Steve."

"We just want to talk."

The words sounded rehearsed, which meant they probably were.

Dustin barked out a laugh. "Oh, this is an intervention."

Robin immediately pointed at him. "Okay, don't call it that."

"It literally is."

"It isn't."

"It literally is."

"It isn't."

"It definitely is."

"Can everybody just sit down?" Nancy asked.

Against every instinct in his body, Dustin finally dropped onto the couch, and you sat beside him. Steve cleared his throat, then immediately looked uncomfortable.

"We're worried about you."

Dustin stared, blank-faced and silent as Steve continued. "You've been getting into fights."

No response.

"You're getting detention almost every week."

Nothing.

"You skipped three classes last Thursday."

Dustin finally spoke. "Four."

Steve blinked. "What?"

"It was four."

"Dustin."

"I'm just correcting you."

You could practically feel Mike's patience evaporating. "Dude, that's not the point."

Dustin turned toward him. "Then what's the point?"

Mike opened his mouth, hesitated, then realized the only way out was through. "The point is you're acting like an asshole."

The room immediately went still. You closed your eyes, because there it was, the exact wrong thing to say.

"Damn it, Mike."

"What?" Mike asked.

"Dude."

"What?"

Dustin laughed. "Oh, I'm acting like an asshole."

Mike groaned. "That's not what I meant."

"No, it is."

"Dustin."

"No, go ahead." He leaned back, crossing his arms. "Tell me how much I suck."

Nobody spoke, and the tension thickened. Lucas finally leaned forward. "Dustin, nobody thinks you suck."

"Then why am I here?"

"Because we're worried."

"About what?"

Lucas hesitated, and that hesitation said everything. Because nobody wanted to say it.

Nobody wanted to admit it. Nobody wanted to be the first person to acknowledge what everyone already knew.

You watched Dustin realize it in real time. Watched the anger drain away, and saw something else take its place. Something worse.

"You think I'm becoming him."

The room froze, and Mike immediately shook his head.

"No,” but it sounded weak.

"You think I'm becoming Eddie."

"Dustin—"

"No."

His voice rose. "You think I'm becoming some angry screw-up who gets into fights and skips class and ends up dead."

The word dead hit the room like a gunshot. Robin looked away. Nancy swallowed. Will stared at the floor. And Steve looked heartbroken. "Dustin."

But Dustin was already standing. "You know what's funny?"

Nobody answered.

"You all get to be worried." His voice shook. "You all get to sit here and talk about grief and healing and moving forward." The room fell silent. "But nobody asks me."

"I'm done."

"Dustin."

"No."

"Dustin."

"No."

And then he was gone, storming up the basement stairs. The door slammed hard enough to shake the room. You stood fast enough that your chair nearly tipped over.

"Seriously?"

Steve blinked. "What?"

"What?" The word came out sharp, months of anger suddenly finding somewhere to go. "What the hell was that?"

Steve's face immediately hardened. "We were trying to help."

"No."

You shook your head. "You were trying to fix him. And nice going, by the way. Real efficient work." 

By the time you got upstairs and outside, Dustin was long gone. You knew exactly where he’d be hiding, but you knew better than to provoke him when he was feeling this way. So, you leaned against the Wheelers’ house and sparked another cigarette.

You remembered how Eddie would always read you like a book; the mere sight of you with a cigarette tucked behind your lips always earned a “What’s stressing you out, sweetheart?” The thought of him tucking your hair behind your ear while he asked caused a teary-eyed laugh to escape you. 

“You okay?” Steve asked, popping around the side of the house. 

You laughed, pulling another long drag before answering, “Peachy.”

Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and leaned against the siding a few feet away. The cigarette glowed softly between your fingers. The sounds of the Wheeler basement drifted faintly through the house. You already knew everybody inside was talking about Dustin.

Trying to figure out what went wrong. Trying to figure out how to fix him, like he was a broken appliance.

"You know," Steve finally said, "the intervention wasn't just for him."

You looked over. "What?"

His jaw tightened. "It was for you too."

Immediately, your expression darkened. "Excuse me?"

Steve sighed. "I knew you'd react like that."

"No, seriously." You pointed at yourself with the cigarette. "Explain."

"You've been letting him get away with everything."

You actually laughed; a short, humorless sound. "Oh, we're doing this?"

"Yeah." Steve straightened. "We are."

You stared at him, waiting.

"He's getting into fights every week."

"He misses Eddie."

"Everybody misses Eddie."

"Right, because you and him were so close."

Steve stared you down for a second, then continued.

"And every time he gets himself into trouble, you're right there covering for him."

You scoffed. "Because somebody has to."

"No." Steve shook his head. "Somebody has to be the adult."

You looked away, taking another drag, trying very hard not to lose your temper; it wasn't working.

Steve continued anyway. "He smells like cigarettes now."

Your eyes narrowed. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Steve."

"He smells like cigarettes."

Your stomach dropped, because of course he'd noticed. Everyone probably had. Dustin had only taken a couple of drags that night, but still. You knew where this was heading.

"You think I encouraged him to smoke?"

Steve gave you a look, a look that answered the question all by itself. 

You barked out a laugh. "Oh, my God."

"I'm serious."

"You think I'm corrupting Dustin?"

"I think you're both spiraling."

The cigarette trembled slightly between your fingers. You hated that he wasn't entirely wrong, and you hated it even more because he was saying it.

"That's rich."

Steve's eyebrows furrowed. "What does that mean?"

You looked at him. And suddenly all the anger you'd been carrying around for months rose to the surface; raw and ugly. 

"You wanna know what's rich?" Your voice dropped, dangerously calm.

"Maybe if you weren't trying so hard to play hero for Nancy..."

Steve immediately froze.

"...Eddie would've never had to."

The silence that followed felt radioactive. Steve's face went blank, then hardened fast.

"Don't."

"Oh, don't?" You laughed. "No, let's."

"Don't do that."

"Let's." You took another long drag, tilting your head back to exhale.

"I think the real reason why you're so pissed that Dustin is acting this way is that he's pushing you away. Which is funny, isn't it?"

You laughed, shaking your head. "While you were busy chasing tail and pushing him away, he found someone who actually cared about him and his interests. Kinda selfish to ask him to just fall back into your arms now, isn't it?"

His jaw clenched. "Eddie didn't have to play hero either."

The words hit you like a slap, causing your eyes to widen. "What?"

"He didn't."

Steve stepped closer. "He made a choice."

"He saved your life."

"He made a choice."

"He saved everyone's life."

"He made a stupid choice. And for what? The towns still fucked."

Something inside you snapped. The cigarette hit the grass; you flicked it away so hard it disappeared into the darkness.

"What did you just say?"

Steve immediately realized he'd gone too far. But it was already out there, already hanging between you. Already impossible to take back.

"He shouldn't have stayed."

Your chest tightened. 

"He shouldn't have been there."

"Steve."

"He shouldn't have gone back."

"Steve."

"He shouldn't have—"

"He did it because you couldn't!" The words exploded out of you. Steve physically recoiled. "He did it because somebody had to."

"That's bullshit."

"No." You stepped closer. "That's the truth."

His face darkened. "No."

"Eddie picked up the slack."

"Stop."

"Somebody had to save everyone."

"STOP."

The shout echoed through the quiet neighborhood, and you both froze, breathing hard. Months of grief. Months of guilt. Months of anger. All finally spilling out.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking absolutely exhausted.

"You wanna know what nobody says?"

Your stomach dropped because his tone had changed. This wasn't anger anymore; this was something worse, something bitter and ugly.

"Nobody says what happens if he wakes up."

You stared, not understanding. "What?"

Steve laughed, but there wasn't anything funny in it. "If he wakes up."

The words felt wrong, like hearing someone curse in church. If. If. You couldn't breathe. 

Steve looked away toward the road, toward the darkness, towards anywhere but you. "You think everything just goes back to normal?"

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. "Steve."

"No."

"Everybody keeps talking about him waking up like it's some miracle ending."

Your hands curled into fists. "Stop talking."

"But what then?"

"Steve."

"What then?"

His eyes found yours. "And before you say it, I know he's innocent." The words came fast now, years of frustration pouring out. "But Hawkins doesn't."

You shook your head. "Stop."

"Half the town thinks he murdered people."

"Steve."

"The cops still want him."

"Steve."

"And if he comes back—"

Your stomach twisted. "Shut up."

"—if he comes back—"

"Shut up."

"—he's still gonna be the freak."

The world narrowed. "Steve."

"He's still gonna be the murderer to them."

"Stop."

"And honestly?" The next words sealed his fate. "All it's gonna do is make everyone's lives harder."

You hit him, hard. The crack echoed across the Wheeler yard. Steve stumbled backward, completely shocked, one hand immediately flying to his jaw.

You'd never hit anybody before, not like that. Not with every ounce of anger in your body behind it. But this? This felt easy.

Steve stared at you, breathing hard, and you stared right back. Eyes burning, tears finally spilling over.

Months of grief. Months of fear. Months of watching the person you loved fight for his life hundreds of miles away. Months of pretending you were okay, gone.

"Fuck you, Steve." Your voice shook. "Fuck. You."

Steve didn't say anything. Maybe because he knew he'd crossed a line. Maybe because part of him agreed. Maybe because he saw the tears. You didn't care; you just turned and walked away.

And when Steve called your name, you didn't stop.

The ride to the hospital was a long, blurry mess. After Steve’s botched attempt at an intervention, you ran home and immediatley hopped in your car. The only person you wanted to see was five hours away, and nothing was stopping you from seeing him, even if that person couldn’t talk back. 

By the time you arrived, it was well after midnight. The familiar fluorescent lights of the hospital made your stomach twist the same way they always did. You knew the route by heart now. Past the front desk. Down the long hallway. Left at the nurses' station. Third door on the right.

You hated that you knew it by heart.

The room was dark except for the glow of the monitors. The steady beeping filled the silence as you stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind you. Eddie looked exactly the same as he had the last time you were here. Same pale skin. Same curls spread against the pillow. Same stillness that made your chest ache every single time you looked at him.

"Hey, handsome." Your voice sounded rough.

You dropped your bag onto the chair and moved toward him automatically, settling into your usual routine. The nurses knew you by now. They never stopped you when you came in. Half the time they left extra blankets in the room because they knew you'd end up staying all night.

You sat down beside him and reached for the brush on the nightstand. Carefully, gently, you began working through his curls.

"You're getting ridiculous, you know that?" you murmured. "I swear your hair is longer than mine now."

The corners of your mouth twitched. "You'd probably love that."

Once his curls were untangled, you reached for the small cassette player you'd practically worn out over the past few months. The tape clicked softly as it started playing. His mixtape, the one he'd made for you. The one you'd listened to so many times that every crackle and skip was memorized.

The music filled the room quietly. For a moment, you just listened. Then your eyes burned again. Because of course they did.

"You remember when you gave me this?" you asked softly. "You spent three days pretending it wasn't a gift because you were nervous."

A laugh escaped you. "You literally left it in my locker and acted shocked when I found it."

Your hand found his; cold and still.

"You were so bad at flirting." You stared down at your intertwined fingers.

"You know, I was thinking about that day at Lover's Lake. The one where you nearly tipped the boat because you were trying to impress me."

A small smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. "You swore you knew what you were doing."

You laughed through your nose. "You absolutely did not know what you were doing."

The memory lingered for a second before fading. And suddenly the smile disappeared, just like it always did. Because every good memory ended the same way now. With the realization that it was a memory. Not something you'd get to experience again. At least not yet.

Your throat tightened. "Dustin's having a rough time."

Your voice dropped. "He got into another fight."

You rubbed your thumb across the back of Eddie's hand. "I think he misses you more than he knows how to admit."

The tears came before you could stop them. "He acts tough about it. Tries to be angry instead of sad."

You swallowed. "Guess he learned that from us."

Your gaze dropped to the floor. The words started spilling out before you could stop them, like they always did when it was just the two of you, him awake or not. 

"Everybody's falling apart, Eds."

Your voice cracked.

"Mike and Lucas keep snapping at each other. Robin's pretending she's okay. Nancy barely sleeps. Wayne calls every week asking if there's any change and I never know what to tell him."

Your shoulders slumped. "And Dustin..." You shook your head. "Dustin's breaking my heart."

The room remained silent, only the music answered. Only the machines. Only the steady reminder that he was still here. Still breathing. Still fighting.

You wiped angrily at your eyes. "I'm trying."

Another tear slipped down your cheek. "I'm really trying."

"I keep telling myself if I can just hold everybody together a little longer, you'll wake up, and everything will be okay."

You laughed. The sound was pathetic. "I know that's stupid."

Your eyes closed. "Some days I don't even feel like me anymore."

The tears came harder now. Months of grief finally finding somewhere to go.

"I punched Steve." A watery laugh escaped you. "There. Thought you'd appreciate that."

You sniffled. "He said some really awful stuff."

Your voice trembled. "So I punched him."

Another laugh, another sob. "Honestly, you'd probably be proud."

You covered your face. The ugly crying started then, the kind nobody ever talks about. The kind that leaves your chest aching, your nose running, and your entire body shaking. You stared down at the floor. At your shoes. At anything except him. Because looking at him hurt too much.

"I miss you." The words came out broken. "I miss you so much."

You squeezed your eyes shut. The tears wouldn't stop. "I need you."

Your shoulders shook. "Please wake up."

Nothing. Just silence. Just the tape playing softly. Just another night. Just another conversation that would never be answered. You dropped your head, staring at the floor. Crying too hard to even wipe your face anymore.

Then, a rasp. Tiny, barely audible. Your brow furrowed, and you froze. The room suddenly felt too quiet. Another sound, a rough inhale.

And then, "Hey..."

Your head snapped upward and every muscle in your body locked. For one horrible second, you thought you imagined it. Thought exhaustion had finally gotten to you. But then you saw it. His eyes. Open. Heavy. Groggy. Confused. But open.

Your breath caught violently in your throat. Neither of you moved. Neither of you breathed. Eddie blinked slowly. His gaze wandered around the room before finally settling on you. Even exhausted. Even weak. Even after everything, he recognized you immediately.

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Hey, pretty girl."

A sob escaped you; fresh tears immediately spilled down your face.

Eddie frowned weakly, or at least attempted to. His voice came out rough and scratchy from disuse.

"No crying."

You laughed and cried at the same time, completely unable to stop either. His eyes fluttered slightly, still fighting to stay open.

But the smile remained. "No crying, sweetheart."

The next hour felt less like reality, and more like some strange dream you were terrified of waking up from. You cried, a lot. Eddie was awake for maybe thirty seconds before you burst into tears all over again, which earned you a weak, sleepy laugh and a very groggy, "Jesus Christ, sweetheart."

Then you cried harder. Then a nurse came running in because your hysterical sobbing had apparently convinced half the floor that somebody was dying. Then doctors appeared. Then more nurses. Then you got shoved into the hallway while they checked everything.

And the entire time, Eddie never took his eyes off you, like he was afraid if he blinked you'd disappear. The second a doctor finally confirmed that yes, Eddie was awake, yes, he was responding appropriately, and yes, this wasn't some bizarre fluke, your hands immediately found the nearest phone.

The first call was Wayne. You barely got through the words. "He's awake."

The line went silent, then you heard Wayne start crying.

The second call was Dustin. You didn't even bother with hello. "Get in the car."

"What?"

"Get in the car."

"Why?"

"Dustin."

A pause. Then, "...why are you crying?"

You laughed, the first genuine laugh you'd had in months. "Just get in the damn car."

Twenty minutes later, every person you knew seemed to be squeezing into a hospital room designed for about three people.

Robin was crying. Nancy was crying. Wayne was definitely crying. Lucas looked like he was trying not to cry. Mike had completely given up trying not to cry. Will was standing quietly in the corner looking like he might pass out from relief.

And Dustin? Dustin hadn't left Eddie's side once. Not for a second. Not even when nurses politely suggested giving the patient some room, especially not then. You stood near the back of the room watching as Dustin practically sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"You're an asshole."

Eddie blinked slowly. "What?"

"You're an asshole."

A weak smile pulled at Eddie's lips. "Good morning to you too."

Dustin's face immediately crumpled. "You suck."

"Dustin—"

"You suck."

Eddie's expression softened immediately, months of missed conversations suddenly sitting between them. "I know."

Dustin looked away. His eyes were already watering again. "You weren't supposed to do that."

The room went silent. Nobody interrupted, and nobody moved. Because this wasn't for them; it never was.

Eddie swallowed. "You okay, Henderson?"

Dustin laughed, A broken sound. "No."

Eddie nodded slowly. "Yeah."

Then Dustin did something that would've mortified him under normal circumstances. He hugged him, immediately and without warning. Without caring who saw, practically throwing himself against Eddie's side. You quietly slipped from the room before anyone noticed. Or at least before anyone besides Steve noticed.

The hospital coffee tasted exactly how hospital coffee always tasted. Like disappointment. You stood beside the vending machine, staring out the window while the paper cup warmed your hands.

The sunrise was beginning to creep over the horizon. Everything felt strange. Good, but strange. You still hadn't quite convinced yourself this was real. Footsteps approached; you didn't need to look up to know whose they belonged to. 

"Hey, Harrington."

"Hey." Steve stopped beside you. "You hit really hard."

You barked out a laugh, and Steve rubbed his jaw dramatically. "I'm serious."

"Oh my God."

"I think you rearranged my face."

"I barely hit you."

Steve stared. "Nancy literally begged to take me to the hospital. Or the dentist."

You snorted into your coffee. "That's embarrassing."

"It is."

A small smile appeared on his face, the first you'd seen in a while. Then it disappeared.

"Hey."

You looked over; Steve shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry. For what I said."

The exhaustion in his voice sounded genuine. "I shouldn't have said it."

You stared down into your coffee.

"No." You swallowed. "You shouldn't have."

Steve nodded. "For the record."

You glanced over as Steve pointed toward the room. "If Munson finds out you broke my face, I'm telling him it was self-defense."

You laughed despite yourself. "You literally outweigh me by fifty pounds."

"And?"

"I'll hit you again."

“I’m sure you would.

Eventually the two of you made your way back down the hallway. The closer you got to the room, the louder the voices became. Robin. Dustin. Wayne. Mike. Everybody talking over each other, just like old times.

The second you stepped inside, Eddie's attention immediately snapped toward the door. Still pale. Still exhausted. Still looking like he'd been through hell. But awake.

A smile tugged at his lips when he saw you, then his eyes drifted toward Steve. His brow furrowed immediately. "Whoa."

The room quieted, and Steve froze. Eddie squinted, looking genuinely concerned. "Harrington."

Steve sighed. "No."

"What happened to your face?"

Steve pointed directly at you. "Ask your girlfriend."

A couple of weeks passed.

Not enough time to undo everything that had happened. Not enough time to heal months of fear and grief and nightmares that still woke everyone up in the middle of the night.

But enough for things to start feeling... possible again.

The doctors were cautiously optimistic. Eddie was still weaker than he'd ever admit out loud, still attending physical therapy, still complaining every single time someone reminded him to take it easy, but he was alive. Awake. Walking. Talking. Smiling.

Complaining. Which, according to Wayne, was the best sign of recovery they could've asked for.

The situation with Hawkins, however, was a little more complicated.

You'd gone straight to Hopper. He hadn't even let you finish your sentence before pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering, "Kid, I'm already working on it."

The whole story had been laid out in front of him. Owens had done what he could behind the scenes, Hopper had done the rest, and somewhere between paperwork, witness statements that would never see the light of day, and a whole lot of pulling strings that probably weren't entirely legal, the investigation into Eddie Munson quietly lost steam.

No dramatic public apology, no newspaper retracting everything they'd said, no magical moment where Hawkins suddenly realized they'd been wrong.

Just the charges disappearing. The warrants disappearing. His name disappearing from conversations. It wasn't justice, but it was enough.

Enough that Eddie could come home. Enough that he could enroll again. Enough that, after everything, he was finally going to graduate.

The morning he walked through the front doors of Hawkins High, the entire Party had insisted on escorting him in like he was some kind of celebrity. Dustin practically refused to leave Eddie's side for the entire day.

Eddie looked around the hallway with that same crooked grin you'd fallen in love with and whispered, "I still hate this place."

You laughed so hard you had to grab onto his arm. Months ago, you'd convinced yourself you'd never hear his voice again. Now he was complaining about school. Life was weird, wonderfully weird.

By the end of October, he'd started driving again. By November, he'd started playing guitar again.

The first time he picked it up, he'd only made it through half a song before quietly setting it back down, frustrated with how stiff his fingers felt.

You hadn't said a word. You'd just sat beside him, rested your head on his shoulder, taken his hand.

He looked at you for a long time before muttering, "You'll tell me if I suck now, right?"

You smiled. "I always did."

He rolled his eyes. "Brutal."

"You love me."

"I do." Then, after a dramatic pause, "But you're brutal."

Eventually the leaves started changing. The air turned cold enough that Eddie started stealing your jackets instead of the other way around.

One afternoon the two of you drove with no destination in mind until you ended up parked beside an open field just outside town. The grass had gone golden, the sky stretching endlessly overhead.

No monsters. No sirens. No hospitals. No machines. Just silence.

You spread out an old blanket and laid down first, staring up at the clouds. A second later, Eddie flopped down beside you with an exaggerated groan before immediately rolling over and pulling you against him.

You pressed your face against his chest, just because you could. His fingers absentmindedly combed through your hair.

Neither of you spoke for a while; you didn't have to. Eventually, he broke the silence, because of course he would.

"You know..."

"Hm?"

"I don't remember everything."

You tilted your head just enough to look at him. "What do you remember?"

He thought about it. "Bits."

"The bats."

You nodded.

"Wayne."

Another nod.

"I remember you crying."

You laughed quietly. "That doesn't narrow it down much."

"It really doesn't."

He smiled, then his expression softened. "I remember hearing your voice."

Your chest tightened. "When?"

"I don't know." His thumb brushed gently across your cheek. "It felt like every day."

You swallowed hard. "I talked a lot."

"I know."

"I told you everything."

"I know."

"I talked about Dustin."

"I know."

"I complained about Steve."

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I definitely know."

Your eyes stung. "I played your mixtape until I think I almost broke it."

His smile only grew. "I know that too."

You stared at him, confused.

"I heard you."

The world seemed to stop. "What?"

His voice was barely above a whisper. "I couldn't move."

"I couldn't answer." His own eyes had started to water now. "But I heard you."

A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it.

"I heard every story."

Another.

"I heard you tell me about Dustin getting into fights."

Another.

"I heard you complain about hospital coffee."

You laughed through your tears, he reached up and brushed them away with his thumb.

"And..." His own voice cracked. "I heard you tell me you weren't giving up on me."

You couldn't speak; your throat had closed completely. So you just nodded a tiny, shaky nod.

Eddie smiled, small and tender. "You didn't."

"No."

"You could've."

"I wasn't going to."

"You should've."

"I wasn't going to."

Silence settled between you again. Then you leaned forward until your forehead rested against his.

"I would've sat in that hospital room for another ten years if I had to."

He shut his eyes, and a tear escaped anyway. "I know."

"I would've waited twenty."

"I know."

"I would've waited my whole life."

His breathing hitched.

You smiled through your own tears. "There wasn't really another option."

He looked at you for a long moment before leaning in and kissing you. Slowly, with no urgency and no desperation. Just gentle, soft enough that it felt more like a promise than a kiss.

When he pulled away, his forehead stayed against yours. "I love you."

You smiled. "I know."

He immediately frowned. "That's it?"

You laughed. "I love you too."

"Better."

Another kiss. Then another. One pressed against your forehead. Another against your temple. One against the tip of your nose just because he knew it made you laugh.

The sun continued sinking lower across the field.

Wrapped up in his arms, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, you realized this was something that would've seemed impossible a few months ago.

Who cutting onions!?!?!?!

I'm sorry, I had to write this, though. I had that fight scene with Steve in my brain for a while.

hope you all enjoyed :')

taglist:

@lnnn1n @youngbrokefab @ludachrissy @sisteramycatherine @izzycstairs @britttzy267 @eddiemunsonsimpp @powerpuffedbjtch @sariahs-stuff @cciessuzi @lilyquinnmunson @julxsxx @kozume-ko @obsessed-eddie @doomdabss @leelei1980 @hexqueensupreme @ches-86 @plaidamoosette @bobiverses @meadows-of-asphodel @whitakerstorm @brrrainst3w @serendipdipity01 @hypersexytoptobottom @m-art000 @walleloveseve @camsmunson101 @flavorfullsteve @peachpuffs25 @micheledawn1975 @whitakerstorm @cciessuzi @blackqueenie-18 @ggdawgg @velvetdimond @enne02  @ludachrissy @izzycstairs

@abbysleftbicepp @britttzy267 @ssculker @eddiemunsonsimpp @powerpuffedbjtch

@lilyquinnmunson @this-issam @acrloved @foxygrll (im sorry grll)

[youngbrokefab]

[pearlescentswirls]

These photos single handedly changed the trajectory of my life when I was 15😩

[youngbrokefab]

trump vai toma no cu

[lengthofropes]

ST5.04 Steve Harrington

[indecisivemuch]

fun fact

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: You came in to work every day with a fun fact, determined to catch the BAU's genius with one that he wouldn't know (friends to lovers, co-workers to lovers, mutual feelings, fluff, confession)

Note: my spencer reid debut fic <3 sorry if there are any inaccuracy, just started rewatching after 3 years

Word count: 10.9k (sorry) 

“Small facts lead to great knowing” - Patrick Rothfuss (2011)

“I can’t believe anybody would do something like this,” you commented whilst looking down at the two documents in your hands—your thoroughly highlighted case dossier and your finished report. Every new case always exhibits unimaginable horror and unfortunately, there will always be something worse than your current worst. 

You turned to Spencer whilst perched cross-legged on the edge of his table.

The corner of the genius’s mouth curled at your words. They were the very same ones that sprouted daily despite the nature of your job. But to Spencer, there was a strange comfort in such small repetitive murmurs of disbelief.

“I gotta agree with Rossi. This job really includes some of the worst lunatics out there.” You sighed before straightening up at a sudden thought. “Actually, fun fact…” You noticed the way your words peeled Spencer’s attention from his report. He finally glanced up, eager for the second half of that sentence. 

“The word lunatic was invented based on the belief that mental illnesses were affected by moon phases.” You beamed at the idea of potentially providing your genius friend with new knowledge. 

“Yeah, and it actually originated from the Latin word ‘lunaticus,’ which means moonstruck or influenced by the moon. The word was first used for conditions like epilepsy or overall just madness,” Spencer replied, perking up at the thought of a potential conversation about this.

The excited smile on your face instantly faltered and you groaned in feigned annoyance. Perhaps you should have known better than to think you could out-fact Spencer and say something he had not already known.

“Is there anything you don’t know, Spence?” you glowered jokingly.

“Well, it’s hard when you’re a child prodigy and genius.” You let out a scoff-like laugh at Spencer’s cocky admission, but you knew he was joking. Despite his IQ of 187, Spencer rarely ever announced himself a genius. It was a title dubbed by those around him. You knew if you had Spencer’s brain, though, you would hardly ever stay as humble as him.

“I’ll get you someday.”

Your declaration drew a snort from another work desk and you twisted around to face the source of such a faithless sound.

“You don’t believe in me, Derek?” You arched a brow, your competitiveness rising to the surface.

“Sweet girl, I believe in you for many things, but this is just not one of them.”

“But surely there is one single fact out there that Spencer doesn’t know about.” Penelope piped up from next to Derek, defending you.

“We’re talking about the same Spencer, right? Spencer Reid? Three PhDs and an IQ of Einstein?” JJ spoke as she made her way down the bullpen.

“Actually, there is no way of measuring Einstein’s IQ as he never took the test, so to say that—” Derek quickly interrupted Spencer.

“Come on, pretty boy. She’s backing you up.”

“Sounds like grounds to start a betting pool going,” Rossi spoke up as he approached the whole group, briefcase in one hand, car keys in the other. “$20 says she’ll do it within four months.”

“I think she can do it within three months.” Emily chimed up from her desk.

“I’m placing my bet on eight months,” Penelope added confidently.

“Alright, and if she can’t do it within one year, JJ and I will split the win,” Derek announced before directing his next words to you, “Stakes are on, sweetheart.” He winked.

“Yeah, yeah. I got it.” You rolled your eyes before turning towards Spencer, declaring to him with exaggerated cockiness, “I’m gonna get you real soon, just wait.”

“You’re welcome to try.” The challenging glint in Spencer’s eyes met your own. Again, you knew better than to think that you would know something Spencer did not already know. He was practically the master of facts. But, unfortunately, you were incredibly bad at quitting.

So, let the challenge begin.

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Did you know that Australia is wider than the moon?” you questioned the second you saw Spencer enter the office the next morning. “Fun fact.”

“Yes, diameter-wise. Australia is almost 4,000 kilometres wide, while the moon’s diameter is nearly 3,500 kilometres. However, in terms of their masses, the moon is still larger.” You sighed dramatically at Spencer’s reply before spinning your chair towards your computer, turning the device on.

“And day one status: unsuccessful,” you grunted to yourself, catching Spencer’s grin from your peripheral vision.

“Oh? It’s gonna be daily?”

“You bet your ass it’s gonna be. There’s a betting pool and I’m unfortunately too competitive for my own good.” You caught the amusement dancing in Spencer’s gaze. 

“Well then, good luck.”

“Won’t need it.”

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Did you know a cloud can weigh like a million pounds?” You crossed your arms while peering at the cotton candy-like objects floating amidst the bright blue summer sky. “Fun fact.”

Both of you had your bulletproof vests on, leaning against a car while waiting for JJ to finish speaking to the press before driving back to the precinct. Another case wrapped. Another unsub locked up.

Under the nice weather, you had your cap and Spencer’s sunglasses on, having forgotten yours. He had heavily insisted so, even after you had declined a handful of times.

You turned and looked at Spencer briefly. Though, for a split second, your body stilled as the sun played in his favor, casting nice highlights to his woodsy colored locks. The light crinkle of his nose and his squinting eyes made your lips curl, cause once again, it showcased just how self-sacrificing Spencer can be when it came to the people close to him.

“Yeah, because they contain different states of matter like trillions of condensed water droplets and ice crystals. Its weight is equivalent to the world’s largest aircraft working at full capacity. Though despite its heaviness, clouds have lower density in comparison to the dry air around them, enabling them to float in the same way as oil floats on water.” Spencer tried to maintain eye contact with you despite the blaring sun shining into his eyes.

“Hmm…” you pursed your lips before removing your navy blue cap and placing it on your friend’s head. This cast a shadow over his eyes, blocking the harsh sun from blinding his vision. “Beautiful weather to fail at winning this fun fact thing again.”

Spencer didn’t reject the clothing item.

Some time in the history of human beings, the act of sporting others’ clothing items—especially of the opposite gender—had been made to seem important. Spencer has never understood the significance in such a small exchange. But as your hat landed on his head, Spencer felt an added weight that was beyond the small clothing item. 

Neither did he have it in him to adjust how you had left the cap on him, even if it didn’t sit on his head perfectly.

“I still have time to get you,” you continued after a moment of silence.

“359 days left.”

“More than enough.”

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

The clock was close to hitting 11pm. The whole team was taking a short break for a fresh perspective. Most were on their phones or taking a quick nap, but Spencer and you were playing a round of cards.

“Did you know ketchup used to be medicine? Fun fact.”

Both Emily’s and Derek’s watchful gaze panned from you to Spencer, anticipating his reaction to your daily shot at winning the bet.

“Around the 1830s, yeah. They marketed it as a cure for various ailments such as indigestion and diarrhea.” 

Emily instantly groaned at Spencer’s reply while Derek snickered. Once again, Spencer already knew the information you provided, just like the 13 previous times.

“See? Not a single thing he doesn’t know,” Derek chirped up, earning him a glare from the co-worker beside him.

You finally placed your next card down, instantly eying Spencer, wanting a read of his reaction to your play. There was a distant look in his eyes, a clear indication that he was taking this game just as seriously as you were.

Your eyes swept over the rest of your opponent. The un-neat edges in his usually tidy work attire and the way his hair stuck in different directions had your lips curling. They were details that only unveil during late work hours after a long day. But strangely enough, there was something endearing about the slight tiredness in his eyes and the way his cardigan hung disheveledly on him. 

“I won.”

Your eyes snapped to the pile of cards on the table at Spencer’s declaration.

“What?! No way. You must have cheated.”

“Now, now, don’t be a sore loser just because pretty boy over here won,” Derek teased you, despite also highly suspecting that Reid had cheated.

“Are we talking about the same pretty boy who is banned from many Vegas casinos because of his expert skill in counting cards?” JJ countered, placing her phone down. 

Your co-workers’ discourse began fading out of your focus as Spencer took out a ticket from his bag and handed it to you with a cheeky grin. With hesitation, you took the paper begrudgingly. You knew you had to hold your end of the deal. You had lost, after all.

You glanced back at the winner of the card game, catching his toothy grin at your sulking manners. Against all maturity, you poked your tongue out in petulance, but such childish action had Spencer laughing quietly in his spot, eyes gleaming with fondness.

“Sore loser.”

“Cheater.”

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

Hotch halted in his tracks upon spotting you and Reid in the break room.

Both of your heads were side by side, just a hair short from touching, fighting to have adequate sight of the newspaper that the two of you were sharing. Each of you also sported a pen in hand, scribbling hastily onto the delicate paper with vigorous competitiveness.

The unit chief entered to refill his coffee, though his eyes continued investigating you two. In the narrow gap between your heads, Hotch caught sight of Spencer rapidly filling out a crossword puzzle. Meanwhile, just as fast, you were solving a Sudoku piece that resided on the same page.

“Did you know, like fingerprints, people also have unique tongue prints?” you murmured, eyes still glued onto the puzzle in front of you. “Fun fact.”

“Yeah, humans have unique color, tongue shape, and textural features, therefore making it a great form of identification. However, we currently do not have the suitable technology to capture intricate surface details of tongue prints. Also, switching costs are high partially because the idea of having to stick one's tongue out in public for authentication can be seen as rather awkward, unhygienic, and undignifying.”

You pursed your lips at another unsuccessful day. But such expression vanished when you dropped your pen on the table and declared with unadulterated joy:

“Done!”

Your victory drew a defeated noise from Spencer.

“Imagine though, having to stick your tongue out at airport immigration and place it onto a public scanner or something like that.” You cackled at Spencer's grimace and the way his body slightly shivered from such a mental image. Eventually though, your laugh reduced to a teasing smile.

Spencer’s gaze lowered to the little crinkle that appeared around your eyes as you smiled, before holding eye contact with you. Spencer knew there was no such thing as “eyes twinkling,” but you had him doubting that scientifically established truth for a second. It was lighting and he knew that, but he had to admit that he could finally somewhat understand why poets and writers were so obsessed with dedicating lines towards such a tiny detail. 

Because even though there was no reason for him to, his own lips began to curl, mirroring the smile on your face.

From behind you both, Aaron Hotchner took a sip of his coffee before departing the room. Though on his way out, his eyes glinted a knowing look, while his lips lifted just the slightest bit before schooling back to a neutral expression again. 

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Did you know that back then, when raising a toast, people would literally drop a piece of toast into their wine?” you blurted out the second you slid yourself into the empty seat opposite Spencer at his breakfast table. Never have you ever skipped free hotel breakfast and today was no exception.

“Well, hello to you too.” Spencer grinned at your straight-to-business behavior. 

He carefully placed the coffee he made for you into your hand—a casual daily routine. You took a good whiff of the comforting aroma before humming at the first taste. It was exactly how you liked it: a dash of milk along with two and a quarter teaspoon of sugar.

To date, Spencer has never asked how you liked your coffee. 

He simply has always gotten it right.

It was not hard to guess that he had learnt your preferences from watching you make your coffee in the past. But you could not help but wonder if he took mental notes on others the same way he did with you. However, like every other time, you dismissed it as an occupational habit. Every member has been trained to be observant and notice little details. Spencer probably knew everybody’s coffee preferences.

“It actually originated from Ancient Rome, and back then, toast was an act to honor the gods and people would pour wine onto the floor. However, the custom evolved in many ways over time, depending on geographic regions. Around the 1600s, it became a common custom in England and this is where people would put a piece of spiced toast into their wine. They did it to improve the flavor of their beverage and also to “toast” to good health.”

Spencer caught your hum of satisfaction at the coffee and instantly felt pleased.

Science has long documented humans as naturally validation-seeking creatures. Your existence often humbled him from thinking he was not a recurring participant in that particular human instinct.

His eyes fell from you to your coffee—a particular mix that has ingrained itself into his memory since your first meeting. Funny that some time since then, he could no longer look at the beverage without ever thinking of you.

Neither could Spencer for the life of him recite the coffee order of anybody else at the BAU.

“36 days down…” you murmured, already picturing yourself rummaging the internet for more fun facts tonight.

“Maybe tomorrow.” The words came out softly, almost encouragingly. You hummed before matching his tone.

“Maybe.”

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Flies rub their hands as a sanitizing act, rather clean for an insect commonly associated with dirty places, no?” you murmured before peering up from your book whilst curled up in your seat on the BAU’s jet.

“Yes, it’s a self-grooming act. They do this primarily for two reasons. First and foremost, it’s because their legs are their flavour receptors, so they rub their front legs to ensure they can taste when eating. The other motivation is to remove dust and debris, therefore, ensuring survival.”

Your bottom lip jutted out slightly at another unsuccessful attempt.

“I’ll get you tomorrow…” you murmured with a teasing smile before re-immersing yourself in the fantasy world of your current novel.

Reading has become your escapism and method of self-grounding prior to any case. You tried to plunge into fictional worlds while flying to prepare yourself for the terrible realities that accompanied upcoming cases. Though at one point, Spencer started joining in. But instead of having his own book, he would lean over and scan your current page with unrealistic speed while you leisurely let each letter sink in. It became a routine that occupied your journey from Quantico, whereas on the way back, Spencer and you maintained your tradition of engaging in chess matches. 

Spencer spotted your finger flipping the page once more and his eyes instantly swept over the printed words hastily.

Twenty thousand words per minute. That was Spencer’s known reading speed, which meant in merely two seconds or three, he was already done with the two pages in front of you both. As always, you were still reading at your own pace, unhurried. He knew he could adopt a slower speed to enjoy your chosen fictional literature. But lately, he found himself in a hurry, rushing himself to finish pages in a way that made him think maybe he was now above his previously established reading speed. 

Why?

His gaze flicked over to you, mulling over the familiar details that made you, you. He studied the way your fingers trace the fore-edge of the book mindlessly, lingering on the way you tease your lips with your teeth as you registered the adventure that the story was taking you on. Spencer caught the slight shift in the space between your eyebrows and how they slightly twitch according to plot progression, displaying your commitment to your reading content.

Spencer would not classify himself as a people watcher, despite his necessary observant and analytical traits as a profiler. Yet, somehow, watching you had become one of his favorite quiet activities. In your little habits were his comfort. In moments when cases were overwhelming, his eyes have made a tendency to land on you. The spike in his heartbeat would normalize, whilst rapid thoughts would regulate. It was only in moments when Spencer would get caught by you that he would tear his gaze away sheepishly, before attempting to pretend that he was looking elsewhere instead.

The sound of paper rustling pulled Spencer out of his mind, and he instantly plunged himself into the same self-established cycle again.

And despite his fondness for literature, for once, it did not hold a candle in his eyes.

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Cows have best friends, how great is that?”

Spencer stopped eating his ice cream the second he spotted someone passing the two of you in a cow onesie, giving away why you decided on that particular fun fact. His eyes fell back on you, glimmering with amusement. 

“Yes, cows do have a ‘best friend’ who they tend to share spaces and rest side by side with. Research shows that when separated, these cows would show signs of stress and anxiety with higher heart rates.”

You hummed at that. By now, you were used to his immediate expansion on your facts, no longer surprised or disappointed every time he added onto your words. 

In fact, you fondly looked forward to hearing what he had to say about whatever fact you would sprout. There was a deep sense of appreciation that you have grown for this challenge. You felt like, intellectually, your general knowledge had expanded immensely, both from researching fun facts to tell Spencer and also from the informative responses that you would receive from him.

“You know, cows also can develop what some may refer to as ‘accents.’ Research observed variations in their moos based on different regions and herds.” Spencer leaned closer to you before adding cheekily, “Fun fact.”

“Nuh uh, don’t go stealing my line. You’re not allowed to put me out of business.”

This tore a laugh out of Spencer, and you immediately bit back a smile at such a sound. 

If humans have the ability to bottle noises for keepsake, you know now what sound you would try to capture.

Surprisingly, this was only the second time that Spencer and you had spent time together one-on-one out of work. 

With the working hours at the BAU that forced you and all your co-workers to be in close proximity for an extensive amount of time, you tend to allocate your scarce free time to those who were outside of your work circle. But something about spending time with Spencer today had struck you with an epiphany:

You really, really wanted to see Spencer outside of work more often.

Both your phones started ringing at the same time.

“Penelope, is everything okay?” you answered quietly.

“Emily?” Spencer whispered at the same time into his phone.

After a few seconds, you both ended your respective phone calls before slowly turning to face each other again. You scanned yours and Spencer’s outfit before sighing.

“There’s not enough time to go home and change.” The devastation in your voice was imminent.

“I know.”

A few minutes later, both of you entered the office, and almost instantly, the noise level declined significantly as the whole team paused their actions. You winced, knowing immediately that you two were about to be the butt of many incoming jokes.

“Whoa, what time period did you guys travel back from?” Emily teased.

“We were at a convention, okay?” You huffed, picking up your go-bag from under your desk for a change of clothes.

“And you two are dressed up as…?” Rossi crossed his arms, undoubtedly amused.

The team scanned over both of your outfits. Spencer was wearing a brown fedora hat, an oxblood colored corduroy jacket, and grey pants. Despite the only semi-chilly weather, he also sported a colorful striped knitted scarf around his neck. As for you, you were in an all pink attire, but what stood out was your long pink coat, high pink boots, and long white scarf.

“The fourth doctor and Romana II, from Doctor Who,” Spencer answered, grabbing his go bag.

Derek’s eyes comedically bulged out at that, and he immediately spun his chair towards you. “Blink twice if Reid is blackmailing you with something to make you go to this convention with him.” You laughed at his remark.

“Listen, remember the card game I lost two months ago? That’s why I had to go, but when I actually started the show, I really enjoyed it.” You raised your hands in surrender.

“Oh, we lost another one. She got Reid-ified,” Derek exclaimed dramatically before placing a hand on his chest in jest heartbreak, grinning at your eye roll.

By now, Spencer had returned to your side with his go-bag. Though just as you two turned around to head off and change, an abrupt flash halted you both in your steps. Blinking away the after-effect of the blinding light, you saw Penelope with her phone facing you two and a cheeky grin on her face.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Delete that,” you immediately instructed, hands on your hips while your brows furrowed in fussiness. You then sucked in a deep breath and used your hand to comb through your hair before a smile broke your feigned annoyed expression. “I was not ready.”

Then, with dramatic flair, you posed properly for the camera, grabbing Spencer’s scarf exaggeratedly with both hands while tugging him lightly. 

Spencer was unsure if his knees had buckled due to a slight loss of balance or from your proximity. He glanced at the camera, face slightly flushed, before witnessing another flash go off, evidencing his blush and putting it on record.

Your hands were gone from his scarf like a breeze. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go change now.” By the time Spencer registered your words, you were already gone. All that was left at the spot you previously occupied was his attention. Spencer's eyes eventually moved when he heard a quiet giggle from Penelope, who was indescribably entertained by the dazed look on his face.

The tech expert slowly angled her phone towards Spencer to show what she had captured, and she carefully observed Spencer’s contemplative gaze. His eyes landed on you first, and they softened at the sight of your beaming face. They then traced the slope of your smile and the crinkle of your eyes before reluctantly trailing down to your hands and the way they bossily clung onto his scarf. 

The sentiment of pictures has always been just a concept to Spencer Reid. He does understand the logic behind people’s attachment to colored captures of moments and why people have ‘important’ photos in their wallets or have framed physical copies. But personally, he rarely ever practiced it. Yet, in this precise moment, he suddenly wanted to begin.

Without even looking at himself in the photo, Spencer murmured to Penelope:

“Can you send that to me, please? Thank you.”

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Where is she?” Derek’s gaze darted up to his friend. One glance at Spencer and the man already knew who he was referring to.

“Garcia said she called in sick this morning. Why?”

“Nothing.”

Derek scanned over Spencer from head to toe properly this time. Realisation flashed through his eyes before the man smirked as he looked back down at his work. 

Ah, the perks of being a profiler.

“Sure, pretty boy.”

“What was that loo—” 

The sound of Spencer’s phone ringing interrupted his question. He took the device out of his pocket, and the phone almost flew out of his hand when he saw your name flashing on the screen. He immediately picked up and placed the device beside his ear, breathing out your name in greeting.

Instead of your usual cheery tone, Spencer was met with a muffled voice and snifflings.

Immediately, his body stiffened.

“Are you okay?” He was by his desk within seconds. His fingers grazed over his jacket, as if prepared to scoop the clothing up and dash out of the office if your answer indicated any distress. 

“My nose is blocked. Both sides. It’s horrendous,” then came a dramatic sigh, “I’m becoming a mouth breather, Spence.”

Your melodrama tore a laugh from Spencer’s throat.

Derek’s lips curled discreetly at the noise.

“Anyway, don’t think you can escape your daily fun fact just because I’m not physically in the office.” Spencer was glad you were not physically with him, because if you were, you would have seen the idiotic grin stretching his face. But how could he not smile at your stubborn resilience, and the cute sound of your nasally voice that was slightly more high-pitched than normal. 

“You’re sick, and you took a day off work, but not off the fun fact thing?”

“In sickness and in health, as they say.”

Spencer accidentally snorted at your words and immediately cleared his throat in an attempt to cover it.

Derek’s brows scrunched at that.

“Apparently, while wired to specific scientific machines and whatnot, two lucid dreamers can have two-way communication in real time. How cool is that?” Spencer hummed fondly at your words before sitting down, his plan to flee from office hours long gone.

“That’s quite a recent fun fact. The study was recently concluded just about two years ago,” his voice came out soft as he focused on any sound that the technological device beside his ear could carry over from your end. 

He caught your hum, though the sound resembled the same one you always did while sitting next to him on the jet as the team flew back to Quantico. The noise that often preceded the soft landing of your head on his shoulder and the way he’d sit straighter up to accommodate you entirely despite his germaphobia-led touch aversion.

“You should sleep and rest,” he whispered, despite wanting to hear your voice for longer. But selflessness came easy when you were in consideration.

Spencer carefully began listing all the things you ought to do later to get better. But halfway through, he noticed the lack of noise from the other end, except for your rhythmic breathing, signaling your sound asleep state. Spencer sighed before removing the phone from his ear. He stared at the device in long contemplation before clicking the end call button.

Finally placing down the device that signified his only contact with you today, Spencer flipped open today’s case dossier. However, he found himself re-reading the first sentence over and over again. His eyes kept scanning over the same words, and he felt the way they slid past his comprehension the same way small external details occasionally would escape his notice whenever he spent time with you. 

Spencer’s mind kept trailing back to the phone call and to you.

It’s familiarity—he tried to tell himself. Humans were, afterall, creatures of habit, and considering you have been swirled into his daily routine like a necessity, it made sense that the lack of your presence had set him off balance. 

Eventually, Spencer got up and went to the break room for coffee. But the second he opened the cupboard and his eyes landed on your mug, he felt his mouth run dry. 

For the past one and a half years, he has always made two cups of coffee instead of one at the start of each day.

His eyes darted to his mug right next to yours. The idea of separating them sent some sort of ache in his heart, even if logically they were just ceramic vessels.

Perhaps he had mislabeled what missing someone meant all along, because your absence was bringing a hollowness that nobody had managed to carve out of him before. It was the kind of emptiness that made him feel incomplete, as if a piece of himself was not with him. Yet, as opposed to the expected numbness that often accompanied such a feeling, Spencer felt every second of your absence with a constant stinging ache that felt too akin to withdrawal symptoms. 

Eventually, Spencer shut the cupboard and returned to his desk, coffee-less.

That evening after work, Spencer made a detour instead of going straight home, missing the way his friends huddled together, exchanging hushed whispers about his departure.

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

Twenty two hours, forty eight minutes, and thirty one seconds.

Spencer witnessed as time quietly slipped through the cracks of his remaining strength. 

The whole bullpen lacked the life his work family usually colored in. The janitor had long shut off the main lights, so the only thing illuminating the space near Spencer was his desk lamp. Everybody else had gone home except for Hotch, but the unit chief was in his office, leaving Spencer as the last man standing in the bullpen.

After a few more ticks, Spencer finally tore his gaze from the timing instrument and glided his vision back down to the pen in his hand, forcing it to ink his unfinished report, but words refused to string together. 

Spencer’s free hand began tapping his desk rhythmically in a pathetic attempt to comfort himself.

Twenty two hours, fifty one minutes, and twenty one seconds.

Spencer wanted to say that it didn’t matter. Why should it? But he knew damn well that the answer was because the team mattered to him. 

However, perspective was truly a funny thing. Someone could be your number one priority, and you barely just made it in their list.

Spencer averted his gaze from the unfinished report to the brand new photo frame on his desk, where a captured version of the recent memory of you two as Doctor Who characters resided.

It did not take a genius to see that you two were closer to one another than with others on the team. However, the fun fact challenge had truly unlocked another level of bond. It was the kind of connection that meant he had started placing you above the others, a position that implied he also expected more from you, cause perhaps he thought you had also valued him just as much as he treasured you in his mind. 

So as much as the whole team was the source of his dismay, there was a spotlight reserved for your absence, one that was beyond glaring and punched his guts in ways that others could not.

His eyes traced your face in the photograph again, like they had done every morning since he had gotten the picture framed. 

Oftentimes, you could never be absolutely sure where you stand in someone’s life.

Twenty two hours, fifty nine minutes, and ten seconds.

A resigned breath escaped the narrow gap between his lips.

With more effort than it usually took, Spencer got on his feet, hoping that another cup of coffee would be the cure for his inefficiency. He slowly placed more weight on one side of his body to turn around. At the same time, Spencer began rubbing his face in hopes that exhaustion and melancholy would push themselves aside for a brief moment so that he could finish this impending task. 

When Spencer finally reopened his eyes to navigate the darkness, he froze at the sight that was once behind him.

Eight steps away was you, looking like a deer caught in headlights. 

Then came your escaped nervous laughter, like you were scared of screwing up, but that was only because you were unaware that you could almost never do wrong in Spencer’s eyes. His heart—which Spencer’s brain has been having a harder time controlling lately—provided you with a much larger margin for error than anybody else.

Your gentle tone filled the fragile silence that was intertwined with suspense.

“Fun fact, birthday cakes are traditionally round as an Ancient Greek tradition to resemble the moon for the goddess Artemis.” Your eyes crinkled as your lips curled into that familiar smile that had previously held Spencer powerless on numerous occasions. “Happy Birthday, Spence.”

There you were, cake in hand after a long day of work on a gruesome case.

There you were, with a homemade cake after a long day of him thinking everybody had forgotten his birthday, or more importantly, that you had forgotten.

But maybe his probability was not entirely against him. 

“I know I’m quite late, but trust me, there’s an explanation. When I got to the office this morning, I realized that I had forgotten your cake at home. I was planning to grab it after work, but the case kept us all back so late, and then traffic was super bad because of a concert today. But hey, I got the cake now, and I really hope you like it.”

You peered down at your own baking product and the slightly wonky penmanship before turning your eyes back onto Spencer.

“Also, since it’s your birthday, I’ll give you a bonus fun fact. There are roughly 30,000 people who have their birthdays on October 12th in the States, but…” 

Your voice fell quiet as your eyes diverted back to the cake again. 

“You’re my favorite October 12th.”

And right at that second, all of Spencer’s previous attempts at rationalising his feelings via scientific explanations collapsed. For once, science could no longer shield him, because as much as it was a field built on facts of concrete evidence, there was also an undeniable truth: he liked you.

It might not be rational, but it was still a fact, and that alone terrified Spencer. 

And while he was your favorite October 12th, you were his favorite every day.

Spencer glanced down at the handmade cake and the singular purple candle pierced in the center. The tiny flame provided just enough light for the space between you both. His eyes then flicked back onto you, and they softened.

God, you were so clueless about the effect your actions have on him and his whole world.

One breath extinguished the fire, and grey smoke fluttered into the air.

Then, for the first time since he saw you five minutes ago, Spencer managed to form the only words he felt were worthy enough of your time.

“Thank you.”

Even if the significance behind those words didn’t reach you today, it was okay. But they carry the weight of his whole heart and every unspoken reason behind his gratefulness. 

Thank you for not forgetting about him today. Thank you for always being so kind and paying attention to the details about him. Thank you for being such an important part of his life. Thank you for choosing the exact career path that you did to lead you to him. Thank you for existing. 

And someday, maybe Spencer Reid will gather enough courage to tell you all of this.

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

You halted in your step, and almost immediately Spencer followed suit. His eyesight followed yours, and he instantly knew what you were gonna ask from him.

“Come on, can you play for me? Please?” you urged, and it didn’t take more than your pleading face to make him approach the instrument that lay abandoned in the corner of the hotel where the whole team was staying.

Saying “no” became a significantly harder task for Spencer ever since he realised what kind of position his feelings were in when it came to you. It especially felt like an impossible task when your words came in that pleading tone and the smile that had him wishing stopping time was one of his abilities.

You followed Spencer and leaned against the instrument eagerly. You observed as he lightly cracked his knuckles, eying the mixture of ivory and ink-dark keys with a calculative gaze before placing his fingers delicately on them while his foot pressed gently on one of the pedals at the base.

For a moment, you wondered what Spencer would play. Maybe one of the classical pieces he liked a lot. Perhaps Bach? Or—  

A familiar tune overtook the pleasant quietness in the empty hotel lobby, and recognition struck you with every flawless execution of each note.

First off, you knew he was a liar, saying he only dabbled in piano. But what caught you off-guard was hearing the piano version of your favorite song. 

It was things like this that made you conclude that Spencer Reid was one of the sweetest individuals you have ever had the privilege to know. From making you coffee daily to hunting down first editions of your favorite books (the most recent one in which he handed over along with soup the day you got sick and were off work). Now, he was learning your favorite song on the piano. 

Lucky felt like an inadequate word to describe your position in life when Spencer was in the equation.

Only when he finished the very modern composition did you speak up.

“I thought you only listened to classical?”

“I…did,” was all that came out of Spencer’s mouth, but it was enough for you to catch his implication that he had learnt this song specifically on the piano for you.

Spencer sniffled, diverting his gaze from you shyly as he inspected the keys in front of him again.

Ever since his birthday, Spencer could constantly feel the urge to confess right on the tip of his tongue while his lips trembled in self-control to keep them to himself for now. According to the internet and its various articles, he should try to ‘woo’ you first, and hence these actions instead of confessing right away. He wondered if you got his message. He wondered if you could tell this was his version of flirting. However, Spencer also knew that he had accidentally portrayed himself as an extremely sweet friend from your perspective, so thoughtful actions with the aim of impressing you romantically were most likely ruled as platonic gestures. 

You began toying with the ring on your middle finger, the flattery from his sweet action manifested itself through the heat beneath your cheeks. For the first time in your almost three years of friendship with Spencer, you were struck by a minor nerve-wracking sensation. There was also a fleeting stutter in your chest that you decisively ignored.

You moved on with a quiet murmur.

“You know, humans owe squirrels a lot. They have planted at least thousands of trees.” You gave him a soft smile when his eyes met yours again. “It’s accidental, but no less a noble act contributing to the environment.”

“Yeah, they would bury nuts for later usage, but forget their locations. Many forgotten nuts can grow into trees, therefore, contributing to forest regeneration.” 

“Anddd another fun fact failure.” You groaned, though your expression melted into a smile when you heard Spencer chuckle at that. 

“We should head up. It’s getting late.”

You nodded in agreement and began walking, but looked back briefly at Spencer. “But it’s not too late for an episode of Doctor Who, right?”

An outstretched grin spread across Spencer’s face at your words.

“Never.”

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“No way.” You were speechless as you made way out of Spencer’s car, staring at the building in front of you in disbelief. “Don’t tell me…”

“Yeah, it’s for your favorite film,” Spencer confirmed your suspicion.

“So, it didn’t matter that I had lost, huh?”

Shortly after your Doctor Who convention together, Spencer had invited you to this event that was two and a half months after. Though he insisted on keeping the details a secret, relaying only the dress code—smart casual, but whatever you were most comfortable with.

The secretive factor of the whole ordeal had you guessing in suspense for the entire two months, but now that you were here, you fully understood why.

This was the event that you both would have gone to instead of the Doctor Who convention if you had won that game of cards.

An orchestra movie concert of your favourite movie.

Spencer sucked in a deep breath, fingers toying with the loose threads of his cardigan. There he went again, attempting to present to you that he was an option—the best one, at that—and giving signals that he was pursuing you. He has read at least five hundred online articles on the art of flirting in the past week alone. If Derek ever found his online searching history, Reid would never live it down.

“God, this is the best thing ever.” Seeing how pleased you were with his action made Spencer want to physically preen with pride.

Once you two had settled down inside, you took a couple of photos and observed your surroundings. You looked around at your neighboring audiences before averting your gaze to the empty chairs that were soon to be filled by instrumental experts. Your body was flooded with excitement at the prospect of finally being at this event. 

You decided to chime in with your daily fun fact just minutes before the concert was due to start.

“Did you know that there’s a planet that is ⅓ made of diamonds?” you whispered.

“55 Cancri e, right?” he matched your volume, shifting in the chair beside you to make himself comfortable.

“Yeah, that one,” you confirmed, turning your head back to him. “Go on, I know you have details on it.” You encouraged, shifting yourself into a comfortable position as well.

“55 Cancri e is a super-Earth exoplanet, approximately twice the size of Earth, though roughly eight times heavier in terms of mass. First sighted and discovered in 2004, scientists have found that it is a very hot and rocky planet with a molten lava ocean surface due to its incredibly close orbit to its star…”

You were leaning into your palm while listening to him, clinging onto every word as they absorbed into your brain. The space you left in between you both out of consideration for Spencer gradually lessened as he leaned in closer the more he talked. His tone, too, grew more quiet as he went on, as if the information he was telling you did not exist in some cyclopaedia, but a secret passed in full trust. 

The corners of your lips curled at the twinkle in Spencer’s eyes as he detailed out knowledge that previously sat in the corner of his brain, collecting dust.

Spencer’s intellectual rambling will always be one of your favorite things about him. You loved hearing him talk and the way he enunciated each syllable so clearly, as well as his wordings and his tonal patterns. You should have gotten used to it by now, but it marvelled you every single time that you had the chance to listen to him talk about things you would rely on an internet search to know. Just like usual, today was no different.

Spencer Reid was remarkable. It was almost impossible to take your eyes off him when he talked. He was a bundle of many things that made him an individual worth a lifetime of getting to know.

You wondered if you were looking at him a little bit too fondly right now. But how could you not when he was whispering sweet facts to you as if he only wanted you to know of it? It felt almost as if this fun fact challenge had turned into a sacred tradition between you two. 

“Even though it is widely said that the planet is ⅓ of diamond, this is actually still only a theory and yet to be proven. So, to dub it the Diamond Planet when they’re not even sure if there are diamonds on the planet itself is like…suspecting you are a quarter or half French and then introducing yourself as French to people anyway.”

Your laughter burst out unfiltered, and you instantly grounded yourself by clearing your throat and pulling yourself away from Spencer slightly, putting yourself on timeout.

That was kind of embarrassing. 

The joke was slightly funny, but nowhere close to warranting that kind of laughter.

It sort of reminded you of the videos you have seen on the internet about the kind of laugh that people would let out in reaction to their crush’s jok—

Oh.

You subtly slid deeper into your chair as thoughts shot in your mind at a hundred miles per second. Your fingers immediately curled into your palms to dig at it. You could not look back at Spencer in fear that he would notice that something was wrong. 

Oh God. 

But were you really surprised though? 

A part of you had seen it coming, because as much as you adore all your co-workers, you knew in the bottom of your heart that Spencer was the only one you were willing to lessen your sleeping hours to prolong hanging out and conversing with. Also, to be immune to such sweet actions, you would have to be some statue made of stone. For years now, Spencer had intently taken time to know you and go out of his way just to make you happy. If anything, you were grateful that your heart had picked someone so kind and worthy to give itself away to.

You glanced at Spencer from the corner of your eyes, and just the sight of him alone had your heart hiccupping in a way that you had become familiar with for the past month. It was the kind of stutter that you had outright been trying to ignore and written off as nothing. But unlike all the previous times, you knew you could no longer deny that man next to you was the reason for such palpitations.

And maybe it was also time to face it: you like Spencer Reid, your genius of a friend and very much also a profiler.

Your eyes snapped away from him the moment you realized the significance of playing it cool. You could not have him picking up the signs and figuring out that you have feelings for him. But then again, you have seen how clueless he was around women who were hitting on him and failing to pick up their signals. So, maybe he would not notice your current body language either.

Before you could think more on the matter, the lights dimmed and instruments began stringing together in a well-rehearsed manner. It was only then that you began breathing again, relieved that you had two hours to collect your thoughts and come to terms with the newly attained knowledge about yourself.

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

“Alright, what’s the fun fact of today?” you heard Spencer’s voice before peering up and seeing him behind your chair, hands on the back of the furniture, looking down at you with a shy smile. The sight of his adorable expression made your cheeks heat up, and you had to avert your gaze to prevent him from spotting signs of your flustered state.

The other members just boarded the jet as well, settling into their own spots after a tiring case. You were much less the same, sporting the now more noticeable eye bags that matched Spencer’s. Yet, that does not deter his gaze from the warmth they hold.

You gestured to Spencer’s usual seat right next to you. Once he had settled down, you made your next move on his chessboard, resuming your current ongoing match with him. You could see the instant way the cogs in his brain started spinning. At that, you provided your fun fact of the day, hoping it would serve as a distraction.

“You know, I read that there are more possible variations of chess games than the number of atoms in the universe.”

“Yeah, it’s known as the Shannon number—the number of possible chess games, I mean, which is 10120. Meanwhile, the estimated number of atoms in the observable universe is 1080to 1082.”

He made his move, catching your discreet yawn in the corner of his eyes.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” The weight behind your eyes turned them half-lidded. They landed on the chessboard, trying to formulate the next best move, but your brain refused to cooperate as a fog of sleepiness overclouded your judgments.

“You don’t have to play now, you know. We can just play next time.”

“No, no. Give me a second, I’ll make my move.”

“You’re tired.”

You slowly turned your head towards Spencer, and there it was again. You caught the concern leaking from his gaze, and it instantly reminded you just how caring Spencer was to those in his life and especially you. Your mouth formed a tired yet grateful smile at his expressed worry.

You felt sorry for those who have never had the opportunity to be the subject of his affections.

For a split second, you pondered the kind of doting that Spencer would do if he were pursuing someone romantically. You have never seen him express interest in any woman during your time at the BAU, despite the advances he has gotten from various good-looking women. But if he was already this sweet platonically, you were fairly certain your heart would give out at what he had in mind as romance.

Your shoulders finally slumped before a truthful sigh escaped from you. “Yeah.”

Unlike usual, where you would fall asleep and land on his shoulder while you were knocked out, he outright shifted to sit up straighter for you, offering his shoulder.

Spencer never admitted it out loud, but he had foolishly started wanting the friction of your skin against his or the fabric of his belongings. It was an impossible he thought would never occur, but here he was, anticipating the next rare moment of physical touch beside the one where his shoulder would become your pillow. 

Of course, he had noticed it—your lack of touch when it came to him. He was devastatingly aware of your mindfulness of his germaphobia, and Spencer was grateful, he really was. However, your reservation to accommodate his tendencies had begun feeling like deprivation. In fact, Spencer could count on one hand the amount of times you had ever touched him deliberately, with the last one being one hundred and sixty three days ago.

But it was that particular initiative factor that Spencer deeply yearned for. He craved and awaited for a touch made with purpose. 

He wanted you to mean it.

You stilled at such a small action, gaze stopping on his shoulder. You did not want to over-interpret such a simple movement, but knowing Spencer, there were implications and significance in that little offering. 

You knew it had become a recurring thing. As embarrassed as you were, you could not help the fact that you were the type to move around a lot in your sleep. You had tried using an airplane pillow, leaning against the wall, and so many other methods. However, most of the time, you would still wake up on Spencer’s shoulder before instantly jolting up and freeing him from the physical touch.

But the certainty on Spencer’s face left your rejection stuck in your throat.

Hesitantly, you began shifting closer, giving Spencer just enough time to retract the offer if he wanted to. But he stayed confidently still as your head started leaning down before finally landing on his shoulder.

One single small action had Spencer questioning how much longer he could go on like this. How much longer could he keep these feelings tightly locked and concealed? Because Spencer was utterly gone for you. Gone in the kind of way where one casual compliment from you about the cardigan he was wearing had him immediately putting the item into his clothing rotation a lot more frequently.

“I’m gonna get you some day, Spence…” Spencer watched as you drifted to sleep before closing his own eyes, all while he wished the flight back would last forever.

Unbeknownst to you both, the team exchanged knowing looks and discreet smiles at the sight they were witnessing. There had been nothing more obvious to them than this, but instead of intervening, they decided to let things play its course. 

Because, despite the uncertain nature surrounding the occurrence of events in life, this was the one thing everybody was sure was inevitable.

﹏ ﹏ ﹏

The jet finally arrived back at Quantico around 11pm. Spencer had finished his report a few minutes before you did, but lingered behind as usual to wait for you. About two weeks ago, he had established a new routine between you both. 

“Ready?” Spencer carefully peeled your bag from your hand, checking his watch to see that it was already past midnight, marking a new day.

“Yeah…” you breathed out tiredly, eager to collapse in bed. “More than ready.”

You like to think you have kept it cool well, in general. But Spencer’s new routine of walking you to your car after work had you a nail tip away from laying all your cards bare and revealing your feelings. Even on days when you finished your report first, he would walk you to your car before returning to the office. But the thing was:

Spencer Reid rarely ever drove to work, which meant he was going to the employee parking lot every day with you for no reason. 

Well, for no reason but you.

The elevator began making its descent from the sixth floor with both of you inside. You were listening carefully as Spencer discussed an academic paper he had read last night. The doors soon jerked open, revealing the fairly empty parking lot. At the sight of your car, you subtly began slowing down your steps, biting back a smile when you noticed him mirroring your change of pace. 

You observed as he animatedly gushed about the methodology of the research paper, paying particular attention to the tiny detail of his body language. The way his hands were passionately waving around, exaggerating certain points Spencer was trying to make. The flutter of his eyelashes as he blinked a bit faster than he usually would—a habit that often occurs when he speaks quickly, as you have learned. The smooth movements of his lips as his mouth tried to rush out words to match the pace of his incredibly brilliant brain.

Now that you were looking at his lips, you have to admit that it was kind of hard to look away.

Suddenly, an idea brewed in your mind, and it felt like the holy grail had finally landed in your lap. Who would have known that a random Thursday would be the day you ought to finally win this challenge and put Spencer in checkmate.

“Spence?” Your lips curled mischievously, observing the way Spencer halted in his steps at your tone. 

God, despite being subjected to harsh and unflattering parking lot lights, Spencer still had the audacity to look good in a way that tugged at your heartstrings. The sight had you questioning if he was capable of ever looking bad. His warm eyes colored with interest as he eagerly awaited your next words. You took a couple more steps forward, wanting to hide the plotting expression on your face. 

“Fun fact…” You paused before peering back at him. At those two words, you instantly caught the anticipation rolling off him. There was also a subtle confidence from him that signalled he was sure he already knew whatever you were planning to tell him. But you knew that this time, things would be different. 

With a competitive glint in your eyes, you finally divulged today’s fun fact, your voice calm and stable.

“I like you.”

Just as you predicted, Spencer froze while his mouth fell agape. No words fell out of those talkative lips, a stark contrast to how fast he was speaking a couple of seconds ago. You practically beamed in victory at such a reaction. You wanted to celebrate, you really did. But you decided not to gloat about your win yet. Instead, you prioritised the better option: teasing your friend.

“I recalled you mentioning once that kissing spreads fewer germs than shaking hands?” You winked playfully, expecting nothing from it. It was simply a joke to make Spencer flustered for your entertainment, and there was zero expectation that he would somehow miraculously confess that he had been secretly liking you too and would actually kiss you at your workplace’s parking lot at 1am.

Because there was no way Doctor Spencer Reid liked you, right?

You observed as his lips slowly curled up in amusement as your words sunk in, and that partially made your shoulders relaxed. Well, at least your joke landed, and your friendship would make it out intact despite your confession.

But then, out of nowhere, that closed-mouth smile stretched into a full-on grin before a chuckle of disbelief escaped from Spencer. 

Now, you were on alert. Instantly, you tried to read his reaction—was he in disbelief that he was finally stumped by a fact he had not yet known of? Was he amused by your clever trick of using your own feelings as a fun fact? But the elation on his face and the awestruck look in his eyes hardly aligned with someone who had just lost a long-term challenge.

Your lips parted as you continued assessing the man, but you caught the way his eyes flickered down at that small movement before he sucked in a deep breath.

Oh…?

Suspicion crept in, but confirmation came quicker.

In the blink of an eye, Spencer had completely eliminated the two steps between you both, sealing you two in a proximity that was closer than you had ever been with him. His palms found your face, and they cupped your cheeks in a careful yet certain way.

Spencer’s eyes darted all over your face, searching for all the clues that you were okay with what he had next in mind. He could see that your pupils were slightly dilated, as well as feel the way you were leaning into his touch and the heat that was transferring from your cheeks to his hands. Though it was only when you did not pull away and instead, had your tongue dart out to wet your lips, did Spencer kill the remaining space between your faces.

His lips slanted against yours in a desperate manner that outmatched his need for oxygen, kissing you like it was long overdue. He swallowed the gasp escaping your throat and the surprised noise that followed. There was an urgency he could not hide as his straining self-control snapped from your green light. 

You began kissing him back just a second or two after, and almost instantly, you heard a sigh of relief. Your lips curled, but any trace of smugness vanished when his thumb began rubbing your cheek fondly. Suddenly, you were aware of just how close you two were. Every point of contact was sending a searing heat through your body, because despite his fears of germs, Spencer was touching your skin like it was a need, rather than an obligation for moments like these. 

You pressed your lips harder against his.

Good lord, Spencer could do this forever. 

He might have been able to count the number of times you have touched him on one hand, but even with the whole team, there were not enough fingers to account for the number of times he had glanced at your lips this week alone.

Your own hands touched the sides of his waist, and you instantly caught the longing noise that escaped from Spencer’s throat, echoing onto your lips. At such an encouraging sound, you curled your hands to the back of his body and snaked them up his back. Your lips smirked against his at the way he arched into your touch. 

One hundred and sixty three days—Spencer reminded himself again, humming in utter satisfaction at the way those numbers spun down to zero. Finally, you were touching him on purpose and with purpose. He practically melted at the way your hands roamed so confidently without any trace of guilt that he was uncomfortable, because he was far from that.

In fact, he eagerly wanted to keep the number of days since the last time you touched him at zero permanently. 

You picked that precise moment to pull away, documenting the way his eyes fluttered open and dawned into existence the unadulterated glimmer of yearning in them. 

You have always thought he was gorgeous, but how he looked right then rendered the word inadequate. It was a vision exceeding all your daydreams, and to be the reason behind the look made you feel like you were an award winning fashion designer who had just invented a magnificent masterpiece. But unlike most, you had no intention of sharing this artwork with the world or with anybody else.

Spencer felt his heart squeeze at the sight of you again. Was it possible to miss someone so badly from not having a visual on them for approximately a minute? Maybe he was more screwed than he thought.

Breathlessly, he finally whispered the confession that he had long to say for a month.

“Despite all the facts I already know and have learnt during my whole entire life, you’re my favorite thing to study and know more about, and have been since you stepped into my life. Nothing I learnt after felt like it could outrank anything I learnt about you.” It was true.  Every speck of information about you gets the forefront of his memory’s line-up, taking priority over every other knowledge. Spencer licked his own lips for remnants of you before continuing, “You’re my favorite fun fact, you know that?”

Your heart tugged at his words. You had no idea how you managed to compete with the vast amount of interesting information that existed in the world, but under Spencer’s stare, you truly could see he meant every word.

“But…” The smile on your face instantly dropped at that single word from Spencer. Good rarely ever followed that three-letter conjunction.

“But?”

“I do have to admit that, uhm…” The familiar sheepish glint in his eyes had one of your eyebrows shooting up. “I kinda already know that fun fact already, that you liked me.” Your hands on him stilled their movement before falling onto your sides in disbelief.

“Oh, come on. You can’t be serious.” He resisted the urge to whine at the lack of physical touch from you. “But you looked shocked.”

“I was shocked you actually said it. I didn't think you’d do it today…or tomorrow…or maybe ever–” You slapped his arm, but he gladly welcomed that contact. Anything was better than nothing.

“I thought you’re like highly oblivious to romantic signals? I’ve seen you being completely clueless and not picking up on the fact that women were flirting with you.”

“I think I wasn’t clueless when it came to you because my eyes were always on you.” Those words came out shamelessly. In fact, Spencer almost sounded proud of himself. You tried not to let his words make you flustered.

“When did you figure it out?”

“That you like me? At the orchestra.”

“How? I barely figured it out myself that I liked you then.”

“Yeah, I could tell.” Your huff drew a chuckle from him.

You finally peeled yourself completely away from Spencer, grabbing your bag from his hand before making your way to your car. As you unlocked the vehicle and swung the driver’s door open, you could hear his footsteps following. You crouched to lean into your car and place your bag onto the passenger seat. You could feel Spencer’s presence stopping just behind you, standing much closer than he had ever before tonight.

As you bent back up and leaned against your car, you didn't miss the way Spencer’s fingers twitched, giving away his urges for physical contact. You crossed your arms before tilting your head back teasingly.

“I’m still gonna get you someday.”

Spencer’s gaze melted to an even softer look than before at your declaration. There was a freeing component in his eyes, showcasing the joy from being able to openly look at you in the way he had really wanted to for a while. His voice lowered to a sweet, promising whisper.

“I’m counting on that.”

With that, Spencer leaned in again, wanting a second run of things before the two of you had to part ways for the night.

You grinned into the kiss and quickly wrapped your arms around him again. Quietly, your mind logged in today’s score. 

Day 187 status: unsuccessful. 

But it hardly matters when you think you’ve already won something a lot better.

・┈・┈・┈・┈・┈・

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[brasilify]

[cherriesnkisses]

gator tillman without the gel btw

[youngbrokefab]

i love the djocu fandom here that still keeps our favorite characters alive by so many amazing stories even years later

writers, i love you all

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[blvdblues]

Until Further Notice | Chapter 1

Pairing: firefighter!johnny storm x er nurse!reader

Summary: For nearly a year, you and Johnny Storm, a local firefighter, have shared nothing more than passing moments between emergencies. Enough to recognize each other, not enough to step closer. When a fire destroys your apartment building, you find yourself staying in his home, where distance is no longer something you both can rely on. 

Word Count: 6,2k

Tags: modern au, firefighter au, no powers au, forced proximity, mutual pining, acquaintances to friends to lovers, domestic fluff, living together, no use of y/n

a/n: i went to the fire station a week ago and that was what inspired this. literally. i hope you all enjoy :) x

Johnny Storm’s days follow a relatively simple routine. He clocks in at 8:00 in the morning and starts a 48-hour shift, consecutively. After those 48 hours end, he goes home to his bachelor pad and rests for a good four days before he has to go back to his job. He might get a few interesting cases here and there, but it’s really nothing to write home about. 

Except when he gets to see you, then it’s everything to write home about.

Which is unfortunately a rare occurrence. You’re busy with your work, firefighters don’t usually go to the ER anyway, he knows that—hell, you guys weren’t even that close. Even when he wants to spend time with you, he doesn’t think that he could just stroll into the emergency room one day and ask you out. Well, maybe he can, but he’s just a bit of a coward at that part. 

You both met a little under a year ago. 

The call itself wasn’t anything special. Small building fire, one victim suffering from smoke inhalation, stable vitals, conscious and talking.

Johnny had carried the woman down three flights of stairs and stayed with her all the way to the hospital, mostly because she refused to let go of his hand. "You're a nice young man," she'd wheezed through the oxygen mask.

"Why thank you, ma’am. Tell everyone for me, please." He gives her his signature grin. 

The ambulance rolled into the emergency department's ambulance bay twenty minutes later.

The doors burst open, and there you were.

"Female, seventy-two," the paramedic began as the stretcher was unloaded. "Smoke inhalation. Alert and oriented. Initial oxygen levels were eighty-nine percent on the scene, now sitting at ninety-six on fifteen liters of non-rebreather."

Johnny barely listened. Because you were moving around the stretcher with the kind of confidence that made the chaos look choreographed.

"Any loss of consciousness?" you asked.

"Negative."

"Cardiac history?"

"Hypertension."

"Allergies?"

The questions came rapid-fire. You were efficient, focused, and…

Pretty.

Wait. Pretty?

Johnny blinked, but the older woman noticed immediately. Maybe she has a knack for these things. "Oh," she said, sounding delighted. "He's staring at the nurse."

“Ma'am," he said.

Your head snapped up. Okay, that’s a handsome man—no, you have a job to do.

"He's been carrying me around all afternoon," she informed you.

"Ma'am."

To his horror, you smiled. "Thank you for bringing her in," you said.

He gives you a crooked smile. “Yeah, yeah… you’re welcome. I mean, it’s my job… yeah.” He nods, like that makes his stumbling any better.

After that interaction, he’d be the first person to volunteer every time one of the firefighters had to go to the emergency room. Not that they go there a lot anyway, but hey, he’d take any chance to get a glimpse of you. 

The first few times, he was convinced you wouldn't even remember him. You worked in an emergency department. Hundreds of patients passed through those doors every week, accompanied by paramedics, police officers, firefighters, and worried family members. There was no reason a nurse would remember one firefighter she'd met on a random Tuesday.

Then, the next time he walked a patient through the ambulance bay, you looked up from your charting and greeted him by name.

Just like that.

The conversation had lasted less than a minute.

A quick hello.

A question about the patient.

A joke about the soot smeared across his jaw.

But Johnny found himself thinking about it for the rest of his shift. After that, seeing you became something he quietly looked forward to.

Sometimes he would catch you during a particularly brutal shift, your hair hastily tied back and exhaustion written plainly across your face. Other times he'd arrive to find you laughing with one of your coworkers, the sound carrying across the department before you noticed him standing there.

You always seemed happy to see him, and over time, the conversations grew longer.

A minute became five.

Five became ten whenever neither of you was being pulled in opposite directions.

He learned that you survived almost entirely on caffeine during night shifts (much to your dismay). You learned that he couldn't cook anything more complicated than pasta without consulting the internet. He learned which vending machine snacks you always bought when you forgot your lunch. You learned that he hated paperwork more than actual fires.

None of it was important information, at least not on paper.

But somehow, every small detail felt significant when it came from you. The problem was that your relationship never seemed to move beyond the walls of the hospital.

You weren't strangers, yet you weren't friends, either.

Not really.

You and Johnny saw each other because your jobs happened to collide every now and then. And yet, every time he left the emergency department, he found himself wondering when he'd see you again.

The answer was always eventually.

A week, maybe two, or even a month. But sooner or later another call would end at the hospital, and he'd find you somewhere beyond those sliding doors.

That certainty made it easy to do nothing.

Today, Johnny strolled into the fire department in the morning and went straight to the kitchen, as usual. When he has to arrive at the station as early as eight, he doesn’t really have the luxury of a dedicated breakfast time in the mornings.

He grabbed some bread and ingredients from the pantry and made a simple sandwich. This one looks particularly good, he thinks. But before he could get a bite to his sandwich, the station tones screamed through the building.

Johnny closed his eyes. "You have got to be kidding me."

Around him, chairs scraped against the floor as everyone immediately sprang into motion.

So much for breakfast.

He wrapped the sandwich in a napkin, shoved it onto the counter, and followed the rest of the crew toward the apparatus bay while dispatch rattled off the address overhead.

To you, twelve hours in the emergency department rarely stayed twelve hours. Someone always needed help, always arrived five minutes before your shift ended, and always crashed at the worst possible moment.

You'd stopped fighting it months ago.

At least today was your day off.

Sunlight filtered through the curtains and painted soft streaks of gold across your bedroom walls, and for a few moments you simply lay there, enjoying the unfamiliar luxury of not having anywhere to be. 

After waking up in the morning, you spent a few blissful minutes doing absolutely nothing. No monitors beeping, no doctors calling your name, just silence. Glorious silence. But eventually, you did have to drag yourself out of bed.

You wandered into the kitchen and started putting together breakfast. Nothing fancy, just enough food to keep you occupied while you figured out how you wanted to spend the rest of your day.

Laundry was probably necessary.

Grocery shopping too.

Also, there was a growing pile of unopened mail sitting on the counter that deserved your attention.

Realistically, you would accomplish none of those things.

Outside, the city was already awake. Cars moved steadily through the streets below, people hurried along the sidewalks, and somewhere in the distance a siren wailed before fading away. Exactly the kind of morning you had been looking forward to.

You had just taken another sip of coffee when a loud, piercing alarm cut through the apartment.

Your head snapped up immediately.

For a second, you stared at the ceiling, waiting for the sound to stop.

But of course, it didn't.

The alarm continued to blare through the building in steady intervals, loud enough that you could feel the vibration through the walls.

By the time the second alarm sounded, you were already on your feet.

The apartment door across the hall opened with a loud bang. A moment later, voices drifted in from the corridor. Someone asked if this was another maintenance test. Someone else sounded annoyed enough to ignore it entirely.

You set your coffee down and crossed the apartment toward the front door. The moment you opened it, the faint smell of smoke hit you.

Not strong, not overwhelming.

But unmistakable.

Your stomach tightened. Ah shit, it’s serious.

That was enough to make the decision for you.

You stepped back inside, immediately reaching for your phone, wallet, keys, and the backpack hanging near the entrance. The movements felt automatic, driven by the same instincts that had carried you through countless emergencies at work.

Within two minutes, you were locking your apartment door behind you and making your way toward the stairwell with dozens of other residents.

The atmosphere remained surprisingly calm, and most people looked irritated more than concerned. And yet, the smell of smoke grew stronger with each floor you descended. 

By the time you reached the ground floor and stepped outside, several residents had already gathered in the parking lot.

You turned back toward the building, and only then did you notice the thin stream of dark smoke escaping from one of the upper-floor windows.

“Oh dear, that looks bad.” Your neighbour, Martha, says. She had managed to find you in the sea of people.

You look to your side, to her. “Yeah. I’m hoping everyone’s alright.” You respond.

By the time the fire department arrived on scene, a crowd had already formed outside the apartment complex.

Johnny barely spared them a glance as the truck rolled to a stop, though. His attention was fixed on the building. From a distance, the smoke had looked relatively contained. Up close, it was a different story.

Dark smoke pushed from multiple windows near the center of the structure, thick enough to obscure portions of the upper floors. Every few seconds, fresh plumes poured from the building as if something inside was feeding the fire faster than it could burn through.

"Shit," someone muttered beside him.

Johnny silently agreed.

The moment the emergency vehicle stopped moving, the crew sprang into action. Orders were exchanged, equipment was unloaded, and hose lines were stretched across the pavement. Within moments, the organized chaos that accompanied every structure fire had settled over the scene.

A battalion chief was already speaking with building management.

Police officers worked to keep residents away from the entrance.

Paramedics established a treatment area for anyone suffering from smoke exposure.

Okay, here we go, he thinks. Johnny grabbed his gear and headed toward the command post to receive his assignment.

As he approached, fragments of conversation reached him. Apparently, the fire had originated in one of the lower-floor units, but it had spread beyond the apartment itself. There was concern that flames had extended into wall voids and utility spaces, and that immediately complicated everything.

Apartment fires were difficult enough when the fire remained confined to a single unit. Once flames found their way into the spaces between walls, they could travel through a building without anyone realizing how far they'd gone.

Which meant what looked manageable from the outside often wasn't.

The next hour passed in a blur of heat, smoke, and shouted communication.

Johnny's crew was assigned to assist with interior operations. The work was exhausting even by firefighter standards. Every movement felt heavier beneath layers of protective gear, and the air inside the building remained thick despite the ventilation efforts underway.

At one point, they helped escort an elderly resident down several flights of stairs after she refused to leave without her cat. Later, they were redirected to assist another crew investigating smoke that had begun seeping into apartments far from the original unit.

None of it was unusual. 

By the time Johnny emerged from the building again, sweat clung uncomfortably to the back of his neck and his shoulders ached from carrying equipment up and down stairwells.

He pulled off one glove and accepted a bottle of water from another firefighter before making his way toward the command area for an update.

That was when his attention drifted toward the evacuation zone.

At first, he didn't think anything of it, just another resident standing among the crowd. Then the woman turned slightly, and his brain took a second to catch up.

A second after that, his stomach nearly dropped into his boots.

There was absolutely no way.

For a moment, he simply stared. Out of all the apartment buildings in the city, all the fires he could have responded to. The sight of you sent a jolt of alarm through him before he could think twice about it.

Were you hurt?

Had you been inside when the fire started?

Had you inhaled smoke?

You looked upright, alert, and uninjured, at least from where he was standing. But that did little to settle the sudden knot of concern tightening in his chest.

Your attention remained fixed on the building, completely unaware that he had spotted you.

Before he could stop himself, his feet were already moving.

He wove through the crowd gathered near the edge of the parking lot, barely registering the conversations around him. Your expression was focused in the way he had seen dozens of times inside the emergency department, as if you were mentally assessing the situation rather than simply witnessing it. 

Then you turned your head. The second your eyes landed on him, surprise flickered across your face.

"Johnny?"

He called out your name and stopped in front of you, gaze moving quickly over your face and shoulders as though searching for injuries. "Are you alright?"

You blinked. The question came so quickly that it seemed to catch you off guard. "Yeah," you said. "I'm fine."

Johnny frowned. "You sure?"

"I'm sure."

Only then did he seem to realize he was still staring. A faint flush crept up the back of his neck. He cleared his throat and took a small step back, trying to recover whatever professionalism he'd abandoned during his walk across the parking lot.

"I just..." He glanced toward the building. "I saw you standing out here and figured you lived in one of the units."

"I do."

The answer was simple enough, but something about hearing it made his stomach sink.

"You got out okay?"

You nodded.

"Good." The response came immediately.

Too immediately, as though he'd been holding his breath waiting to hear it.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The sounds of the scene filled the silence instead. The hiss of water lines being charged, shouted instructions from firefighters, the distant wail of another arriving vehicle. Johnny looked over his shoulder toward the building.

His expression changed slightly, and you noticed it right away. "How bad is it?"

His gaze returned to yours. For a second, he seemed to debate whether he should answer honestly.

That was an answer enough.

Your stomach tightened, and he exhaled slowly.

"It's not great."

You followed his line of sight toward the smoke pouring from the upper floors. The longer the operation continued, the more chaotic the evacuation area became. Suddenly, raised voices cut through the crowd, and several people turned at once.

Near the curb, a man in his sixties slumped heavily against a parked vehicle. At first, it looked as though he had simply sat down.

Then his knees buckled.

Your body reacted before your brain did, and you were already moving by the time someone shouted for a medic. Before you could reach him, the man hit the pavement hard. A small crowd immediately began forming around him.

"Give him space," you called as you pushed forward.

The smell of smoke still clung to his clothing, and his breathing… it sounded wrong. Shallow.

A firefighter dropped to one knee beside him. Johnny.

His eyes widened briefly when he recognized you, but you barely noticed, your attention remained fixed on the patient.

"Sir? Can you hear me?"

The man's eyelids fluttered. Okay, so not fully unconscious. Good.

A paramedic arrived moments later, carrying equipment. "We've got two ambulances already transporting," she said quickly as she knelt beside you. "Can you help me out?"

You nodded immediately, and the paramedic began attaching monitoring equipment while you performed a rapid assessment. The patient's skin looked pale beneath the soot staining his face. His pulse was fast, and his breathing remained concerning.

"Smoke inhalation?" you asked.

"Most likely."

The man suddenly started coughing. A harsh, painful sound.

Johnny shifted closer, looking between the both of you. "What do you need?"

"High-flow oxygen." You both answered. Without hesitation, Johnny reached for the equipment beside him.

Within minutes, the patient was receiving oxygen, but his condition still wasn't improving as quickly as you would've liked. The paramedic looked toward the ambulance staging area and swore quietly. Every available transport unit was occupied, and one of the ambulances hadn't even returned from its previous trip yet.

"We need him evaluated at the hospital."

"He needs a blood gas and respiratory assessment," you agreed.

The paramedic looked between you and Johnny, then an idea seemed to occur to her. "You work at Manhattan General, right?"

You nodded.

She turned to Johnny. "Can you drive?"

Johnny stared at her. "That's your question?"

"Can you drive without hitting anybody?"

"Much better."

The paramedic pointed toward the patient. "Good. Because I need this man in an emergency department now, and you're currently the fastest option I've got."

Johnny looked at you, and you looked back at him. For a second, neither of you spoke.

Then he shrugged. “Well. This is certainly a first."

The drive to Manhattan General Hospital was surprisingly uneventful. Fortunately, the patient remained conscious for most of the trip. You stayed beside him in the back seat, monitoring his breathing and doing your best to keep him talking while Johnny navigated traffic.

The arrangement felt absurd. A firefighter driving, an emergency room nurse riding in the back, and a smoke inhalation patient occupying the rear seat of what was very obviously not an ambulance.

If anyone asked, you were never admitting this had happened.

By the time the hospital came into view, you were already mentally preparing the report you would give upon arrival. The familiar sight of the emergency department entrance stirred something automatic in your brain.

Johnny pulled to a stop near the ambulance entrance. Before the vehicle had fully settled, you were reaching for the door handle.

"Easy there," Johnny said.

You shot him a look. "Unlike you, some of us spend enough time here to navigate it with our eyes closed."

Johnny scoffed. "I've been here hundreds of times."

"Yeah, but you still have to ask for directions every now and then."

"Only occasionally."

"Sure."

He shook his head. "Alright, that's fair."

The two of you helped the patient inside, and the moment the automatic doors slid open, the controlled chaos of the emergency department washed over you. A nurse glanced up from the triage desk.

Then did a double take. "...Why are you here?"

You didn't slow down. “Long story."

"You're not scheduled."

"Still a long story."

A few heads turned as you passed. Apparently showing up unexpectedly with soot on your clothes was enough to attract attention.

The patient was quickly transferred onto a hospital stretcher, and you immediately slipped back into work mode.

"Male, I would say in his sixties? Smoke exposure from a residential structure fire. Progressive respiratory distress on scene, and oxygen administered prior to transport, but his condition deteriorated during observation."

The receiving physician nodded.

Questions followed, but as always, you answered them automatically.

By the time the report was finished, several members of the emergency department were staring at you with varying levels of concern.

One of your coworkers finally crossed her arms.

"Why are you covered in ash?"

You blinked. Right, the fire. "Apartment building fire," you admitted.

The room fell silent. "Excuse me?" someone asked. "You live there?" another asked.

"Unfortunately."

Several people immediately started talking at once.

Were you okay?

Did you get hurt?

Had you lost anything?

You suddenly regretted saying anything.

One of the nurses pointed toward a chair. "Sit down."

"I'm fine."

"Sit."

"I'm literally helping."

"You are literally homeless."

Johnny snorts at that, and you give him a glare. He looks away right after, lips still quirking up.

Eventually, the nurses on the clock dispersed, having to do their jobs anyway. You look up at Johnny. “Hey, you.”

He smiled. “Hello to you too.”

“Thanks for driving us here. You should probably go back now, they need you.” You stand up, crossing your arms.

He hums. “Yeah. Good work with the patient. That was some quick action.” He says, his voice soft. “Does he need anything else?”

You shake your head. “Nope, he’s in good hands. I’ll probably stay here, watch over him for a bit. Nothing much I can do anyway.”

Johnny nods. Then, “Do you need anything?”

“Nah, not for now, no. But I appreciate the offer. I’ll see you around then?” You ask, hopeful.

“Of course.” He nods, and starts to leave. He gives you a tiny wave, and you give him one back. You watch as he drives off, and you let out a deep sigh.

“Who was that?” Someone suddenly says beside you—Kathy, another doctor who you were particularly close to.

You startle at the sudden voice. “Christ, Kathy! Stop doing that. He’s no one.”

She wiggles her eyebrows. “Well, this no one is particularly handsome.” 

She waits for your reaction. Then, not being able to hold it, your lips quirk up.

“Ha! I knew it! What’s his name?” She holds you by your shoulders.

“Don’t you have work to do?” You scold, but still smiling.

“Ugh! You’re no fun!”

It wasn’t until nearly two hours into the operation that things began to shift from urgent to uncertain.

The fire itself was still active, but contained enough that the chief was finally able to start thinking beyond suppression and toward damage assessment. That was usually the point where the scene stopped feeling like controlled chaos and started feeling like a long, exhausting problem.

Johnny had just finished rotating out a hose line when one of the lieutenants approached him near the apparatus. “Hey,” the man said, lowering his voice slightly. “You’re the one who brought that patient in earlier, right?”

Johnny frowned, wiping soot from his forearm with the back of his glove. “Yeah.”

“There’s been an update on the residents from the fourth floor. Building management just confirmed structural compromise in the eastern units. Water damage, electrical failure—whole section’s going to be offline for a while.”

Johnny’s attention sharpened immediately, though he didn’t fully know why at first.

The lieutenant continued.

“They’re not clearing the building for re-entry. Not today, and probably not for the next week or two. The Red Cross is getting involved for temporary housing.”

That landed differently. “A week or two,” he repeated quietly.

“Best case,” the lieutenant said. “Worst case, longer.”

Johnny nodded once, though his mind had already drifted. Because in his head, that wasn’t a building update anymore.

It was you.

“Hey, uh, mind if I drive back to the hospital for a bit? Just ten, fifteen minutes? I think I forgot something.” Johnny asks.

The lieutenant looked confused at that, but he looked around, then back at Johnny. “Yeah, we’re alright here for now. Just make sure you come back as soon as possible.”

Johnny nods, and he rushes to drive to Manhattan General Hospital.

By the time he reached you, you were speaking with a patient, your backpack now sitting on the ground beside your feet. You looked tired in a way you hadn’t earlier. Less sharp, more human around the edges, but still very much upright.

When you noticed him approaching, your expression shifted slightly. You frowned. “What are you doing back here? Does anyone else need help?” you said.

“No, no, everyone’s okay for now.” He reassures you. “I just… um…”

There was a pause, brief but loaded with everything neither of you had said since the fire started.

Johnny glanced toward the patient, then back at you. “Mind if I talk to you in private for a second?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” You respond, giving the patient a brief goodbye before walking to a more secluded area of the room.

“They’re saying you might not be able to go back in for a while,” he starts.

You exhaled slowly, like you already knew where this was going. “Yeah, I figured.”

“And you’ve got somewhere to stay?” It came out more direct than he intended.

You blinked at him, then gave a small, humorless laugh. “Not really. I’ve got… a backpack and a very strong desire for this to be temporary.”

That should have made it lighter.

It didn’t.

Johnny looked away for a second, jaw tightening as he considered the situation in a way that had nothing to do with firefighting. “You can stay at mine,” he said.

The words came out clean. Immediate, and absolutely no hesitation. Like he’d already decided without telling himself.

You stared at him. “…What?”

“My place,” he repeated, more carefully this time, as if that would make it less insane. “It’s close to the hospital. You’ve got work, and I’ve got a couch. Spare room, technically, but I’ve never used it for anything other than storage.”

That last part sounded like an attempt at credibility. It didn’t help much.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said slowly.

“I know.”

Another pause. Around you, the scene kept moving, but between the two of you, everything had narrowed.

Johnny shifted his weight slightly, suddenly aware of how this sounded and unable to find a version of it that didn’t sound like too much.

“It’s not… I’m not—” he started, then stopped, clearly frustrated with his own sentence. “You don’t have anywhere else right now. And I’m not letting you sleep in a hotel alone for two weeks after your building burned down.”

You studied him for a moment, weighing your options. There was no teasing grin. No easy confidence. No hint that he was offering because he felt obligated or because he thought it was the right thing to do.

He looked genuinely concerned for you. And somehow, that made this infinitely more dangerous.

Your chest tightened unexpectedly. You'd spent months convincing yourself that whatever existed between the two of you was harmless. Nothing either of you would ever act on.

Then your expression softened just slightly.

“You realize this is a terrible idea. We might not be compatible living with each other and you might hate me forever,” you said, with a smile threatening to form on your face.

Johnny gave a short exhale that might have been a laugh. “Yeah.”

“And you’re still offering.”

“Yeah.” His gaze held yours for a second longer than necessary. 

Then, almost reluctantly, you nodded. “Okay,” you said softly. “Just for a little while.”

For the briefest moment, something flickered across Johnny's face. Relief.

Maybe even happiness. 

It disappeared almost immediately, replaced by an expression that was far more casual than you suspected he actually felt. Inside, he was far from casual. Neither of you could quite ignore the way your pulse had suddenly become much harder to explain.  

Okay, holy shit, this is real. She’s moving into my place—we don’t even know each other that well yet. Maybe this was a bad idea? No, no, it’s not. I get to spend time with her! This is amazing. We’ll get to know each other, and—

“Johnny?” You ask, confused by his sudden blank stare.

“Huh?” He snapped out of his trance. “Yes?”

“You okay?” You furrow your brows in concern.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” Johnny nods reassuringly, and he holds a hand out to you. “Do you have your phone? Mine’s somewhere in the car. I can text you details, and we’ll talk about it.” He shrugs, offering.

You reach into your bag and hand it over to him. He types his number in your phone, and texts himself something silly. He gives it back to you, smiling.

“I, uh… I look forward to it.” You say, and you internally cringe. Look forward to it? What is this, a date?

He smiles sheepishly, exhaling. “Yeah, yeah, me too. I’ll see you later then.”

You nod. “Mhm. Get back safely.”

You both pretty much worked it out seamlessly. There was a list of instructions, a rough time estimate, and a shared understanding that neither of you needed to overcomplicate what was already complicated enough. Johnny told you his address. You told him how long it would take you to get what you needed. Neither of you questioned the arrangement again.

It should have felt strange. But it didn’t, not in the way either of you expected. 

When you finally left the apartment building, it was with a small list of essentials and a tired sense of detachment that came from functioning too long on instinct alone. You moved quickly through the familiar process of retrieving what you could, like medications and toiletries, half of your wardrobe, your laptop, and your work bag that you had apparently left half-open on your counter in your rush to leave that morning.

The apartment itself looked almost unchanged at first glance.

But the smell had already begun to creep in through the hallway, faint but unmistakable, and the sound of distant movement from below reminded you that whatever normal had existed here earlier in the day was no longer available to you.

When you came back down, Johnny was already there.

He had changed out of some of his gear, and he looks… different, this way. You can’t really pin point on what, but one thing’s for sure, he looks equally as handsome as when you saw him for the first time. Or maybe even more handsome, you dare to think.

“You got everything you needed?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said. “Enough.”

That seemed to be sufficient.

He held out his hand, and you looked at him confused.

“Your bag.” He says. Ever the gentleman.

“Oh. You sure?” You ask.

He rolls his eyes, smiling, hand still out. “Yes, I’m sure. Just give it to me.”

You eventually hand it over to him, and he carries it like nothing. Damn firefighters.

The drive to his place was quieter than the earlier trip to the hospital, but not uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that came from two people who were both still mentally catching up to what had already happened.

Occasionally, Johnny would glance at you, as if checking something he could not quite articulate. Each time, you caught it once or twice before he looked away again.

Neither of you commented on it.

By the time he parked, the sun had shifted lower in the sky, and the events of the day felt both recent and strangely distant.

Johnny got out first, walked around the car, and opened your door before you could reach for it yourself.

You looked up at it, then back at him. The building definitely had some questionable design choices.

“Wow.”

Johnny immediately narrowed his eyes. “That sounded sarcastic.”

“It wasn't.”

“It absolutely was.”

“I said one word.”

Johnny pointed toward the building. “For the record, it's a perfectly respectable apartment.”

“Mhm.”

“There it is again.”

“What?”

“That tone.”

“I don't have a tone.”

“You do.”

“I just got displaced by a fire, Johnny. Maybe I'm emotionally fragile.”

“Convenient excuse.”

You laughed despite yourself, shaking your head. “Okay, fine. It's nice.”

His expression brightened immediately. Then, he added, “You can crash here as long as you need.”

As long as you need.

Not forever, not anything bigger than it had to be.

Just enough room for what this was.

The first hour in Johnny’s apartment passed in a blur of half-unpacking and quiet reassessment.

The building itself was nicer than you had expected.

Not extravagant, but comfortable. The lobby had actual plants that somehow looked alive, and the elevator didn't make any concerning noises on the way up, which already put it ahead of several apartment buildings you'd lived in. 

When Johnny unlocked the door and stepped aside to let you in first, you hesitated for a moment before crossing the threshold. You weren't entirely sure what you had expected.

It was cleaner than you had expected.

Not spotless, exactly, but lived-in in a way that suggested someone who functioned on practicality more than decoration. A couch that had clearly been used for naps rather than guests, then to your right, a stack of mail that had been pushed into a corner rather than ignored completely. And when you walked further inside, there was a kitchen that looked like it had been designed for survival rather than enjoyment.

Your eyes drifted around the room.

There were framed photos on a shelf, a few trophies tucked away near a bookcase. Then, a  blanket thrown haphazardly over one arm of the couch that looked suspiciously well-loved. You smiled at the sight.

It felt like him.

Comfortable, slightly disorganized, and somehow welcoming despite making absolutely no effort to be.

Johnny hovered awkwardly near the doorway while you looked around.

"So?" he asked.

You glanced back at him.

"So what?"

"So, is it terrible?"

You stared. "Johnny."

"What?"

"You live in a building with functioning elevators."

"That's not an answer."

“It's already nicer than my apartment."

His expression brightened immediately. "Really?"

"No."

The smile vanished.

You laughed.

The offended look he gave you was immediate. "Wow."

"I'm kidding."

"You sounded sincere." He scoffs. “Maybe I should take a look at your apartment and judge for myself.”

You smile at that. “Hmm, maybe. Once all this blows over. I’ll give you a tour.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged and continued your inspection.

The living room flowed into the kitchen, which contained exactly what you expected from a man who worked long shifts and survived primarily on convenience.

You opened one cabinet.

Instant noodles.

Another.

Protein bars.

A third.

Oh. More protein bars! And protein… powder?

You slowly turned toward him.

Johnny immediately pointed a finger. "Don't judge me."

"I opened three cabinets."

"Yes."

"And two of them are protein bars."

"They were on sale."

"Johnny."

"They were really on sale."

You shook your head, laughing. “If I get scurvy while living here, I'm suing you."

"That's not how scurvy works."

"You don't know that."

"I absolutely know that."

The conversation dissolved into quiet laughter, and some of the tension you'd both been carrying since the fire eased just slightly.

Johnny gave you space without making a point of it. He showed you where things were, like the bathroom, the spare room, the thermostat that he clearly had opinions about, and then drifted back toward the kitchen as if trying not to hover.

“You can take the room,” he said at one point, nodding toward a door down the hallway. “It’s not much, but the bed’s clean. I changed the sheets last month.”

“Last month,” you repeated.

He shrugged. “It’s usually just storage.”

That explained the slightly chaotic pile of boxes in the corner of the room when you stepped inside. Nothing urgent. Just things that didn’t belong anywhere else yet.

You set your bag down carefully, suddenly aware of how little of your life you had managed to carry with you. Clothes, a few essentials. A version of yourself reduced to what could fit in an emergency evacuation. 

You were halfway through walking out of the room when your body betrayed you slightly.

It wasn’t dramatic, just a subtle shift in balance, a delayed reaction catching up with everything you had been running on since the alarm went off that morning. The exhaustion hit you all at once, like your system had finally decided it was done compensating.

Your hand reached for the doorframe without you fully registering it.

Johnny noticed immediately.

He moved before you could properly correct yourself, one hand coming up instinctively to steady your arm.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

You blinked, briefly disoriented. “I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.”

The contact should have been nothing. Brief, practical. Something that happened between people all the time without meaning anything beyond balance and physics.

But he didn’t let go right away.

Not immediately.

His grip was careful, steady in a way that felt more intentional than necessary, like he was making sure you were actually grounded before he trusted you to stand on your own again.

You became very aware of the fact that he was close. Close enough that the heat from him cut through the tired chill that had settled into your bones.

“I’ve got you,” he said after a beat, like it had come out automatically.

You looked up at him then.

His expression had shifted. Less distracted now, less caught between places. Focused in a way that wasn’t about the fire anymore.

Just you.

“I’m okay,” you said again, softer this time.

He nodded once, but didn’t immediately move away. For a second, neither of you did. Holding you felt… natural, like there was no question behind it.

Then, as if realizing it at the same time you did, Johnny slowly released your arm.

“Right,” he said, clearing his throat slightly. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“I know,” he replied, giving you a small smile.

You hesitated, then glanced toward the room again. “I think I’m just going to—”

“Yeah,” he said immediately. Then, after a pause, softer: “Go rest.”

You nodded. This time when you stepped away, nothing stopped you.

But as you closed the door behind you, you could still feel the place where his hand had been on your arm, like your body had bothered to remember it longer than your mind had intended to.

additional notes: anddd that's it for chapter one folks! i had a fun time writing this au. chapter two definitely has more romantic/domestic moments, so stay tuned for it! it might be released sometime this week? i'm a bit busy at the moment, but i do enjoy writing these to kind of wind down in between.

also, please comment if you'd like to be tagged in the next one!

tags: @tominyii @screaming-ontheinside @youngbrokefab @starlightblvdd

[youngbrokefab]

aaaah so excited for this!

[my-dailydreams]

[lalaleeiillaa]

“yeah i read a lot!”

“oh awesome! What books do you read?”

[writingdose]

“I want to write a fic about this but I don’t think anybody will be interested in it” ummm hello excuse me ma’am what do you mean you don’t think anybody will be interested in it??? YOU. YOU ARE INTERESTED IN IT???? write it because YOU are interested in it and YOU want to write about it. fanfic writing should always be first and foremost about YOUR enjoyment, not other people’s.

[sheisjoeschateau]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

:) hi misha :)

🩶 MY BEAUTIFUL SYL/PENNSYLVANIA 🩶 {not me proudly knowing the backstory on that}

alrighty, here we go ~

// yes I cheated and did six, SUE ME

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